Amour
The unbelievable happened. A sane and beautiful soul was infatuated with a shattered spirit. I could predict the devastation of the whole psyche. Each fragment detaching and resting on the ensanguined ground. The sensations drenching in agony. Words buried in the depths of the broken heart. False hopes escorting like a torch emitting gloom. Silence getting louder and eyes losing sight. An apocalypse of attachment.
As if the time was repeating itself but this time the places were swapped.
Per contra, he didn't keep my secret to himself although he claims to have endearment for me. Shall I give him a second chance? He must have told that to Jade because he has never been through such feelings. He needed someone to talk to. But her words still sting my heart.
Left you.
I shouldn't be unfair with Amarion due to his sister's mistake. He deserves forgiveness. I admit that he makes me happy. Surprisingly, he has everything I ever wanted in my partner. But I'm unwilling to take a decision which would turn remorseful later. I'm unsure if I'm suitable for him. I forgave him already but I haven't spoken to him since I left his home with tears in my eyes and astonishment in my mind.
The spark in his gaze still wanders in my vision. Not even in my wildest dreams did I think of him falling for me. His intoning voice echoes in my ears. He sang for me with devotion. That was the concealed emotion I sensed. All this time his feelings for me were growing deeper. It'd be a privilege to be his companion but this also brings my worst fear to life. I wouldn't be able to endure another loss. I want to hold a hand which would support me forever. I want an abundant love. I know Amarion is willing to give me it but the threat of dole's turns pulls me back.
Should I set my feelings free? Or shall I keep them chained?
These questions baffle me completely. I've come across one of the most arduous contemplation of my life. This endless debate haunts my brain. The deliberation I'm having with myself isn't leading me anywhere. The longer the discussion gets the more questions arouse. If I accept Amarion's companionship will I be able to be just with him? And if I decline will that be rudely heartless of me? What should I do? I've listened to my heart before and obtained unbearable affliction. Shalt I follow my mind this time? But what would that bring? How can I kick away such a profound endearment? Confusion, reluctance and bewilderment.
Just then my cellphone buzzed.
Amarion
She was standing there in a white dress. Her long hair reached her waist. The flowers in the garden were colorful and appealing but none of them could compare to the mesmerising white rose. She smiled and touched each bloomed bud with her gentle fingers. As if blessing them with eternal fragrance. My wild senses weren't satisfied with the faded perfume. I wanted more. In my hand there was a jar of butterflies. The lid was fastened with a silver string. I gradually untwisted the bound and popped the cover open. Numerous and vivid hued wings flapped rapidly and eloped the brim of the container. I watched in awe as they capered in mid air. Like a stream of various paints they filled the foliage space. They swirled around her producing unique patterns. Her lovely grin was ample to have me enraptured. She cavorted from one corner to the other with her clumsy feet. Her each step made me more enthralled. I moved ahead to join her but the fascinating butterflies turned monstrous. They circulated her swiftly and beguiled her. They lured her by their charm. I became frostbitten. The despicable insects covered her body. A blood curdling scream escaped her lips. I attempted to get in motion but failed. The flying monsters bit her skin and suck the bleeding nectar from her flower like figure. I stood there unwillingly witnessing the brutal murder. The surrounding plants began withering. Green became grey. I tried calling out to her but I couldn't even whisper. The devious bugs grew bigger and blocked my vision. Nothing but paper like wings could be seen. I struggled to approach her and attained no success. The butterflies dispersed and headed for the heights. My eyes sought her but all I found was a white dress in a pool of blood and dried petals floating...
"Amour!!!" I shouted and woke up with a jolt. My skin felt cold. I moved my eyes and saw the guitar resting beside me. I sighed in relief as I realised it was just a nightmare. I was asleep deeply while dreaming yet the ache felt so real. Events from last night flooded my mind and it was a perception of nothing being fine.
I took a shower to ease the tension. The water droplets streamed slowly from my head to toe. They reminded me of Amour's cold fingertips. I wish I could hug her and feel her throbbing body against mine. I needed her and she required me. We can provide the necessary warmth to each other. But what could I do to make her agree? I don't even know if she has forgiven me? Then an idea popped in my mind. I quickly turned off the shower and wrapped the towel around my naked body. Goosebumps rose as the cool air hit my wet skin. I changed into a purple t-shirt and ash hued denims. I rushed downstairs to have breakfast. I spotted Jade seated at her usual place. I expected her to give me a brazen look but she kept her gaze low. Maybe she had finally realised her mistake. I ignored her and took my seat. I served myself some pancakes and noticed dad staring at me. His eyes were locked on the water dripping from my hair as they were still damp from the shower.
"Good morning" I smiled and greeted him.
"Yeah. Morning" he replied and broke the awkward eye contact.
"Mom?" Lily yelled.
"Yes?" Mom answered her in a sweet voice.
"When will we meet Ame again?" She asked innocently.
Jade almost choked and my blood felt warm. Even I wanted the answer to that question.
Mom smiled from ear to ear. "Soon" she answered cheerfully.
I ate in silence and was the first one to leave the table.
I jogged to my room and got reminded of how Ame and I sneaked swiftly upstairs.
I entered my room and took the guitar into the balcony. I sat on the chair and kept the instrument on my lap. I pulled my cellphone out of my pocket and dialled Amour's number. I switched on the speaker mode and settled it on the small table in front of me. I grew nervous and impatient. I hoped that she answers and my idea works.