In the softly lit therapist's office, Cheyenne sat on a comfortable chair, her gaze drifting to the framed landscapes on the walls. The warm sun illuminated the room. The weight of her past bore down on her shoulders, influencing every step she took as a new mother to twins. Today marked her first therapy session with Dr. Celine, and she clung to a glimmer of hope that this would help her find a way forward. This would be the first step of her healing journey.
Dr. Celine, a compassionate and experienced therapist, sat across from Cheyenne, her expression warm and empathetic. She knew that the wounds from Cheyenne's past ran deep and that her journey to becoming the mother she aspired to be would be a challenging one.
"Thank you for coming today, Cheyenne," Dr. Celine began, her voice soft and reassuring. "I understand that you've been through a lot, and it's not easy to navigate the emotions and responsibilities that come with motherhood, especially when you've experienced such significant losses in your life."
Cheyenne nodded, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. The pain she carried, the scars of her past, had begun to shape her relationship with her newborn twins in ways she couldn't comprehend. She thought life would be a breeze after having her babies but it was not.
Dr. Celine continued, "It's important to acknowledge that healing is a process, and it's okay to seek help and support along the way. Becoming the mother you want to be is possible, but it will require self-compassion and a willingness to confront and process the grief and trauma you've experienced. Let's start out slow, what do you aspired to be right now"
Cheyenne's fingers traced the edge of her seat as she wrestled with the emotions that had long remained buried. She thought long and hard about what it was that she yearned for right now. "I want to be a good mother to my children," she admitted, her voice quivering. "But I'm scared that I'll repeat the mistakes of my past or that my grief will consume me."
Dr. Celine leaned forward, her eyes locked on Cheyenne's. "The fact that you're here today, seeking help and insight, shows your commitment to being the best mother you can be. It's okay to mourn, to grieve, and to seek healing. We'll work together to explore your past, your grief, and the challenges you're facing as a new mother. Together, we can help you find the strength to move forward."
Cheyenne nodded her head, taking in her words. That encouraged her a bit.
"Motherhood is very challenging, the best way I could recommend is setting daily goals for you and the twins to achieve everyday and then take it from there."
"That sounds like a good idea." Cheyenne agreed, thinking about it.
"Now let's dive a little deeper into who Cheyenne is outside wanting to be the best mother. Who is Cheyenne and how was her upbringing?".
"I'm just a girl that lost both her parents when she was a child. A sister too."
"How did you lost your family and how did that make you feel?".
"When I lost my dad and sister first, I was ten years old. My sister was six. I wasn't mad at them because it wasn't their fault when they died. A eighteen wheeler truck lost it brakes and swerved them out the road. That's okay, mistakes happen or whatever". She shrugged.
"Why do you say it's whatever? ". Celine questioned, folding her legs by her ankles and placing the book on her lap.
"Because it's a situation we couldn't control and we obviously couldn't do nothing about it. They were gone. Whereas when my mom died, it's a situation we could've controlled. She could've gotten better and I wouldn't be here today." Chey explained
"What was her cause of death?"
"Suicide. She killed herself in front of me. That was selfish right?." Chey pondered, staring at Celine with raised brows.
"We don't know what else was troubling her so I can't say for sure. "
"She literally left me at sixteen to fend for myself. I slept in shelters, got chased away by people who I thought were family but family didn't matter in my case." Tears pooled in Cheyenne's eyes as she recalled her life after her mother passed.
Day after day she slept in a shelter when she had family who had an extra bed and food her. It wasn't until she met Khalil, that life became a tad bit better.
She continued, "How could you as a mother decide to take your own life and leaving your own child behind to the cruelty of this world. I was hurt too. I was healing too. I also lost the people I loved. She wasn't hurting alone."
"People deal with grieve differently and I am certain that's what happened with your mother. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Do you sometimes have suicidal thoughts?". Celine inquired.
Chey softly shook her head, " no I don't. I have children to live for. I am just insecure about being good enough for them."
"That's a valid reason which is one we will work on as the days pass."
As Cheyenne opened up about her fears, regrets, and the love she held for her twins, the room transformed into a sanctuary of shared vulnerability. In the heart of this therapeutic journey, Cheyenne and Dr. Celine embarked on a path toward healing, resilience, and the promise of a brighter future where Cheyenne could become the mother she had always wished to be, guided by the love and memory of those she had lost.
₰₰
The DeLuca residence buzzed with an unusual energy, an atmosphere of relief and celebration that seemed to fill every nook and cranny. Angelo, who had recently emerged from a harrowing ordeal that left him in a coma with five bullet wounds, was back home. The family had rallied around him, their bond strengthened by the near-tragic incident.
"This one looks like me!". He exclaimed holding on to Rumi who was relaxed in his arms, "and I told y'all I'm getting a niece first."
"Rome come out first. Cheyenne didn't know she was having twins until that day....". Eden trailed off, not wanting to trigger Angelo.
"What day? The day I got shot? ". He questioned, eyes fixated on his mother. Eden nodded her head. Angelo still wanted to know who shot at him but his family wasn't budging. He wanted revenge. He wasn't the type to let things easily go, especially concerning him
The security system loudly beeped indicating a guest and then stopped a second later. Cheyenne walked in with a box of sweet treats from Àine's bakery.
"You are back Chey! How was it?" A grin was plastered on Erin's thick lips as she stood and meeting Cheyenne halfway. She gave her a warm embrace and returned to her seat with her besides her.
"It was... good, I guess". She shrugged. She took in the scene in front of her. Angelo was holding on to Rumi and Rome was asleep nearby.
"Would you go back?". Eden inquired.
"Yes I would." She nodded her head.
"That's good. I'm glad you are taking steps to being better. You deserve it. " The two ladies shared a smile.
Foot steps interrupted Cheyenne's next train of thought. She glanced up and her eyes squinted in confusion. Among the gathering was Corine. Corine, a woman she had never met, stood amidst the jubilant family reunion.
"Oh hey sweetie. I'm Cori." Cori held out her hand. On her wrist was an expensive diamond tennis bracelet and a gold Cartier watch. Her nails were perfectly and neatly coated in a nude pink gel and were a tapered square shape.
Cheyenne got nervous as she took her in. Her sweet perfume invaded her nose. Her hair was laid into a sleek high ponytail. Diamond studs adorned her ears and a tattoo ran down her neck from her ear. She looked perfect. She screamed perfection.
"I'm Cheyenne. Nice to meet you". She said just above a whisper. Cheyenne's eyes were deceiving her. The person right in front of her looked just like her mother. Her features, so strikingly similar to Cheyenne's, seemed almost like a reflection in a mirror. Time seemed to stand still as Cheyenne's gaze locked onto Corine's. The shock of seeing someone who looked just like her was messing with her mind.
"I'm sorry but have we meet before?". She decided to ask with her brows furrowed.
"No, I don't think we have." Cori sweetly mentioned. Her pearly white teeth almost blinding her. Her lips were coated in a nude lip gloss which complimented her light but natural make up look.
"Yo, y'all look too much alike. It's sickening". Angelo mentioned as Corine took a seat besides him. Them being besides each other let him know they were related somehow.
The resemblance between the two was uncanny, a testament to their shared genes. They had the same rich toffee-toned skin, button noses, and almond-shaped eyes that sparkled with life. Their hourglass figures mirrored each other's, though Corine stood a tad taller.
"I think your eyes are deceiving you Angelo." Cori waved him off. She seemed to be avoiding the situation or she didn't think they looked alike.
"He's right Corine. You look so much like Cheyenne". Eden agreed. Cheyenne noted that Eden was the third person to confirm their striking resemblance.
"I don't think so Mrs Deluca". Again, Corine denied. She turned towards Chey and offered her a soft tight lipped smile.
"I heard you are the mother of the twins. Congratulations, they are gorgeous." She sincerely stated, snapping Cheyenne out her deep thoughts.
"Thank you." She spoke up, a small smile gracing her face. Not wanting to be in Cori's presence any longer, she decided to excuse herself. Looking at Corine was making her head hurt and her heart furious.
Her going to therapy about forgiving her mother was starting to resurface and turn into something else.
Who was this woman who shared uncanny features with her family. What was her deal and where did she come from? Did she know about her?
Different scenarios and think pieces were hurting her brain and she didn't want to think about it anymore. So she didn't.
₰₰
The night time had came. Cheyenne had showered and dressed for bed. Now she was bonding with her baby girl, Rumi She was a curious baby, always up until the late night and she loved being around her mother, a lot.
The bedroom door quietly opened and in stepped Donovan. The couple locked eyes but said nothing to each other as he made his way to the adjoined bathroom to shower and get ready for bed as well.
Donovan was out the shower in fifteen minutes, drying off his face and dressed for bed in his plaid pajama pants and shirtless.
"Hey, can I talk you?". Donovan approached Cheyenne as she tore her gaze away from her baby. She took a quick glance at Donovan who was standing a few feet from her. His scar across his cheek were slowly healing giving him a more edgy look. His tattoos on his arms and chest were glistening from the body oil he had lathered on his body.
She lightly shrugged, never taking her eyes off her child "About what?". She murmured.
"About us. I don't like the tension between us right now". Donovan told her causing her face to scrunched up in confusion.
"What are you talking about?." She asked, finally looking up.
"Don't act like you don't know what's going on. You've been ignoring me since our argument. Can you just talk to me? I don't like it when there is tension between us." Donovan stressed out. He disliked being at odds with Cheyenne, especially now they needed to communicate more for the sake of the babies and for themselves as well. Communication was Donovan's love language if you could call it that. He needed you to communicate in order to know what to fix and how to fix it.
"I have nothing more to say to you, Donovan. I am sad by how things played out. I know that you can't control certain situations. But the ones that you can, please consider me, our family. You have children to live for".
"And I can't control them too. I'm trying to make things right and it feels as if you can't even see that. I don't want to go back to you giving me the cold shoulder." He expressed, moving to her side of the bed. He took a seat besides her and watched her.
"I am not giving you the cold shoulder. I don't feel like getting into it with you. I don't think I want to have that type of conversation unless it involves solutions. I see you trying but it very hard for me to forgive you right now. I want to but I can't". She stated. A deep frown settled on Donovan's face
"Why can't you forgive me? I didn't bring this upon myself, and you know this. The lifestyle I live, I've tried to keep you out of it. I am keeping you out of it. It has worked up until this point".
"That's what you'd like to think. That's what you keep telling yourself to keep you from feeling guilty", Cheyenne accused, "you are trying to keep yourself from feeling guilty by thinking I'm not involved. I'm involved in everyway possible" She continued
"And you saying all of this is making me feel more guilty. Don't I protect you enough? Haven't I tried to keep you away from this lifestyle? Cheyenne, you ain't prefect either but don't try to pin the guilt that you too feel. At least I'm owning up to my mine and trying to mend things between us. That's the least credit you can give me. Just give me a benefit of a doubt for once ". He calmly poured out his feelings before standing to his feet.
"Where are you going?" She questioned seeing him heading out.
"I need a minute". He nonchalantly told her leaving Cheyenne in her feelings once again.
꧁꧂
thoughtssss ??
Who is Corine to Cheyenne?