twenty four
‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹
Scrunching your face up, you shifted in your uncomfortable position, trying to ignore the distant noise. Soon enough, the noise stopped, and you thought you could finally fall back asleep. That was until a sudden breeze brushed against your skin as you heard another noise. This time, it was the hiss of the passenger door being opened. With an annoyed expression, you flutter your eyes, revealing a world still blurred and hazy from sleep.
Where am I?
You squinted your eyes as they struggled to open, growing confused as you took in your surroundings. It was dark, and as you glanced at the empty seat next to you, it made you even more confused. The last thing you remembered was being at the club with your fiancé. That was until you spotted a figure in the corner of your eyes. Shifting your gaze toward the passenger door, you immediately recognized him as you took in the sight of him.
That's right, I was with him.
Even though it was dark, you could still make out the surprised expression on his face as he locked his eyes with yours. It seemed like he didn't mean to wake you up or expect you to wake up. But it wasn't long before his expression softened as the corners of his lips twitched upward into a faint smile.
"Go back to sleep. I'll take care of everything," Dabi whispered, his words laced with gentleness, soothing your anxious heart.
Stupid voice of his, you cursed in your mind, too tired to do anything. Or at least that was the best excuse you came up with as you gave in, listening to his words as you allowed yourself to be enveloped by his care. Though you were still upset at him, that can wait for tomorrow while you catch up on some sleep.
Suddenly, you felt his arms around you, scooping you up as he embraced you in a bridal hold. As expected, you could never bring yourself to hate his touch. It was as if you felt safer in his arms than anywhere else. And just this time, you told yourself it was okay to feel comfort in his touch. And before you knew it, you rested your head on his firm shoulder before your memories blurred.
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Slowly, you opened your eyes, blinking away the remnants of sleep as your vision became clear. You then realized you were in a different room, which looked awfully familiar. Then, your gaze traveled to the other side of the room and landed on Dabi, peacefully sleeping on a separate mattress.
Without a doubt, your heart skipped a beat as your chest tightened. You've never thought there'd come a day when you'd find his presence suffocating, but here you were, regretting your actions from last night.
As if his presence wasn't enough, memories of the first time you've spent the weekend with Dabi in a ryokan flooded your mind. The tenderness, the warmth, and the passion you've once had with him was now a distant dream. Even breathing became difficult as you struggled to fight the urge to not break down.
Hastily, you threw the covers off and quietly slipped out of the room, not wanting to wake Dabi up. The last thing you'd want was to confront him first thing in the morning. You needed space. You needed time to process your thoughts and emotions without his presence. Frankly, you weren't sure what you'd say if he were to speak to you. Would you cave into your selfish desires and forgive him, or simply walk away?
After wandering for some time, you came across a bathhouse. The thought of soaking in the warm waters was tempting as you needed to freshen up. Moreover, it was an opportunity to wash away the horrifying occurrence of last night. Especially your fiancé's unwanted touch on your body.
Once you've finished bathing, you decide to wear the outfit given by the Ryokan staff: a plain white T-shirt and shorts.
Upon reaching your room, you were surprised to see Dabi awake, and looking down, it seemed like the staff had brought breakfast. Without a word, you decided to join him for breakfast as you were hungry, and it was better than starving. As you and Dabi sat across from one another, the room was filled with silence as you ate, neither daring to speak or make eye contact.
It really made you saddened by the fact that your relationship with him could change this fast. Who knew that you would go from talking effortlessly to barely speaking in a week. Even the silence was suffocating as the both of you got lost in your thoughts. Were you both really respecting one another, or did you both lose the courage to confront the problem?
"I called in for you so don't worry about work," Dabi said, breaking the silence but never daring to look in your eyes. He was afraid. Afraid to see your broken eyes looking back at him, telling him how terrible he was for lying about his job and ignoring your needs for the past few days.
"Hmm," you hummed in response before you continued eating in silence.
After finishing breakfast, you left the room without a word. You weren't sure if you could handle another second in the room with his presence. You couldn't help the suffocating feeling as the aching pain in your chest worsened. Though you're grateful to Dabi for bringing you here despite the state of your relationship, a part of you wished he hadn't. Perhaps you wouldn't be rethinking your decisions about him.
As you continued your walk around the ryokan, you couldn't help but grow more anxious. A part of you was screaming to stop running from your problems, while the other half was screaming to run away. You have never felt so stuck as you contemplated your choice. In the end, you decided to walk back to the room. If anything, running from your problems wouldn't make them disappear, and confronting the issue was better than being filled with made-up thoughts.
Enough was enough, you thought to yourself. It was time to face your problem and have a heart-to-heart conversation with Dabi. There was no use in running any further. Or at least that's what you thought until you found yourself outside the door to your shared room. You couldn't help but feel anxious as your trembling hand reached for the doorknob.
With a deep breath, you twisted the doorknob slowly as the door creaked open, revealing the dimly lit room. Immediately, your eyes landed on Dabi sitting on the floor by the window with his back against you.
With the cloud of smoke curling around him, you figured he'd been smoking while you were gone. It made you hesitate for a moment as your heart sank at the broken sight of him. You knew he stopped smoking because of you, but he was smoking again.
Mustering up your courage, you walked over to him and silently sat behind him, mirroring his posture but keeping a slight distance between you. The silence was heavy as ever as neither of you dared to speak. However, the silence didn't last long when Dabi spoke up, beating you to break the silence.
"Are you well?" He asked, his voice filled with genuine worry.
"I thought you stopped smoking," you said, ignoring his question as you bring your legs inward your chest and embrace them.
Unbeknownst to you, Dabi was momentarily startled by your words but quickly recomposed himself as he looked into the distance. It was no secret that he used to be a heavy smoker, but that all changed when he met you. He stopped smoking because he wanted to become better for you. Moreover, with you around, it wasn't hard as he was determined to make you his, but now, you were slipping away.
"What's the use of extending my life if I'm going to lose the person I love the most?" Dabi spoke, his voice soft as his shoulders dropped.
Your heart clenched at his words as the cold air brushed against your skin. Even though you were afraid to ask, knowing it could change your thoughts about him, your aching heart longed to know. "And who would that be?" You dared to ask as your voice trembled slightly.
Dabi turned his head slightly, looking over his shoulder just enough to catch a glimpse of your back that was turned towards him. "You," he answered without hesitation, his honesty piercing the silence.
At that moment, you couldn't help but wonder what went wrong. You couldn't help but wonder how your relationship with him ended up like this. Despite your heart aching to run into his arms and beg him to hold you and comfort you, you refrained.
"What about you?" Dabi asked, his chest tightening as he refrained from turning around and pulling you into a hug.
"What about me?" You asked, pretending to be confused even though you knew what he was asking for. You couldn't help but delay his question as you prepared yourself to say your answer, afraid that you'll regret it.
"Who's the person you love most?" He asked, and even though he didn't show it, Dabi was quietly hoping you'd say it was him. It was selfish. After all this time, he would be fine if you wanted to leave him, but just this time, he wanted to hear you say it's him. At least once before you decide to stop loving him.
"Would it be foolish of me to say the same thing?" Your voice wavered slightly, exposing how vulnerable you felt as you bit your trembling lower lip.
"Which is?" Dabi asked, despite knowing who you were referring to. Still, he was desperate to hear it from you.
"You."
Dabi let out an empty chuckle as if trying to shield himself from the emotions threatening to consume him. "Thank you," he muttered, his voice laced with a hint of sadness that you've never heard before, almost making you turn around and say you'd forgive him.
"For what?" You asked, rubbing your arm for comfort as you await his answer.
"For loving someone as heartless as me," Dabi answered, his eyes fixed on the view outside the window as he exhaled a puff of smoke.
Instantly, your lips tugged into a deep frown. Despite everything that has happened, Dabi has never left you. He had always been there for you, which made you saddened by the fact that he thinks he was unworthy of love.
"Who says you're heartless?" You asked, your voice as gentle as the first day he met you. It was the first time he had ever been asked such a question. Not to mention, it was the first time anyone had ever disagreed with how he thinks about himself. Even his ex, Maki, seemed to agree that he was an arrogant, selfish killing machine.
"Well, for starters, I kill people for a living," Dabi confessed, his voice wavering slightly, revealing his vulnerability.
This was it, Dabi thought to himself. This was the moment he was going to lose you. If you were still that innocent and fragile girl he fell in love with, you'd leave him. There was no other reason for you to stay with such a murderer like him.
"It's fine. Everyday we kill those closest to us little by little. It's only a matter of time until they end it themselves. Besides, you only did it to save yourself, right?" you countered as you turned your head slightly over your shoulder, getting a glimpse of his lonely back.
You weren't necessarily mad at him for what he does for a living. You were simply upset over the fact that he hid it from you. If anything, you just wished he was more honest about his personal life. It really made you wonder what else he is hiding from you.
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Dabi asked, ignoring your question as he exhaled another puff of smoke, filling the air with the smell of chemicals.
"I trust that you won't kill me," you stated, and no, you weren't lying. Even now, as you were sitting back to back with the mafia executive, you wholeheartedly trust that he wouldn't hurt you. Perhaps the love you had for him was much stronger than you thought.
"Why is that?"
"Experience?" You simply answered, unsure of what to say before you got lost in your thoughts.
As expected, the room became silent once more, with the only sound source being your steady breathing and Dabi exhaling his puffs of smoke. The air was heavy, with unspoken words and unfinished conversations being pushed under the rug.
"Do you think... there will be an us again?" Dabi's voice broke through the stillness. His voice was laced with a hint of hope and nostalgia as he reminisced about the past.
"There was never an us, Dabi. We were just two people madly in love each other. We've never held any titles," you answered honestly despite the sudden pain in your chest. Frankly, you've always been afraid to voice this thought aloud. But now, you had nothing left to lose.
You were never his, and he was never yours.
You were just someone's fiancé.
"Then tell me." Dabi took in a deep breath as he turned around in his position to face your back. "If I told you to wait a little longer, would you?" He asked, throwing his unfinished cigarette into the ashtray by the window.
"Forever, Dabi. Even if you never ask, I know I'd be waiting forever."
‧₊˚✩彡𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟‧₊˚✩彡๋ ࣭ ⭑๋ ࣭ ⭑
⋘ 𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡... ⋙
iffy about this chapter but i hope you all enjoy it anyway :/
⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙