Alex feels nauseous for a week following the charity ball. He reflects on that feeling of wanting to fight Connor whenever Henry would speak about him, how much Alex hated this faceless name for how much hurt he caused Henry but now, it's Alex who's hurt him. He broke down all of Henry's walls just to strike him in the heart harder than Connor ever did.
Alex has called Henry more times than he can count, leaving voicemails of desperate explanations and hearing nothing back. He's not expecting a response but he doesn't know what else he can do other than try.
June and Nora have tried keeping Alex company over the week, avoiding the topic of Henry like a plague but Alex can't seem to move past it. He's ruined something so good and he can't let it end like this.
When Alex wakes up a week after the ball, he does what he's done every day that week; check his phone for any response from Henry. Of course, when he opens his conversation with Henry, his messages still sit there.
Sunday 8:02 am
Please, let me explain?
Sunday 5:53 pm
I'm so fucking sorry.
Monday 2:34 pm
H?
delivered
Alex feels sick, it's now Saturday, exactly 7 days later and Alex hasn't seen or heard a thing. Alex can only imagine where he is or what he's doing, for all he knows he could be back in London by now. The thought of that makes him feel physically ill, so he tries not to think about that possibility.
Over the harrowing week of no contact with Henry, Alex has been chanelling his restless energy into two things; music and running.
So, Alex forces himself to get out of bed–otherwise he would rot there–and he makes himself change into a new shirt and running shorts. As Alex laces up his running shoes, he can feel the tension in his body, the restlessness that's been building up inside him for days just festering inside of him. Other than music, running has recently become his refuge, a way to escape the confines of his thoughts and release some tension, if only temporarily.
He steps outside and starts his jog, the rhythm of his feet hitting the pavement providing a sense of order in the chaos of his emotions. With each stride, he tries to regain some semblance of control over his life, to plan a way forward. At least with each step, he has control and everything feels a little less overwhelming.
Although, today's run is different. It's not just about escaping; it's about finding a way to fix what he's broken. Alex can't stand to look at his phone another morning with nothing waiting for him, he knows waiting won't fix a thing and he's determined to at least have Henry hear him out. So, a mental list he's been compiling during his runs takes shape in his mind.
He lists it out in his head.
One, he could write a poem. As he runs, lines of a verse begin to form in his head, which ends up being a mess of words and emotions. It doesn't take long for Alex to decide against it, he objectively sucks at poetry, he'll admit that.
Two, he could write a song. Music has always been a way for him to express his emotions, and maybe he could write a song expressing exactly how he feels. He imagines the melody, the chords, and the lyrics coming together but immediately reminds himself that for one, he has never fully written and composed a song before and two, he really wants to fix this sooner rather than later. Writing a song is definitely time consuming and Alex doesn't feel like he has a lot of that.
Three, he could make a playlist. Songs that remind him of Henry, songs that perfectly word how he feels. A Spotify playlist doesn't feel as personal. He considers to burning it onto a CD because it's a tangible expression of his feelings but, who has CD players anymore? Do people still have those?
Although, of course he would. It's Henry.
As Alex continues his run, his thoughts become consumed by the idea of a playlist. It's a way to capture their shared memories, emotions, and the essence of their relationship through music; something he knows and he's good at. He envisions carefully selecting each track, each song resonating with Alex on how he feels about Henry.
The rhythmic pounding of his footsteps serves as a beat, and in his mind, he starts assembling a mental playlist. By the time, he has every song thought out, he has the idea of recording all of them, singing them himself and then burning it onto a CD.
When he returns to his dorm after his run, something ignites in him; a spark of excitement as he starts strumming on his guitar, looking up the chord progression of his selected songs and learning them one by one. Luckily for Alex, he can learn a song quickly if he wants to. Just by listening to a song, he can picture the chords and recreate it himself.
The hardest part is remembering the lyrics, so before he decides to record, he makes sure he has a tab of each songs' lyrics on his laptop ready to go.
It only takes him about 5 hours of praciting in between coffee/food breaks and a concerned phone call from June to feel ready to record. He opens his laptop on his music software and presses record.
"Hi Henry," Alex starts, his voice a little shaky and his fingers twitching as they rest on his guitar. "I haven't been good at telling you how I feel lately. What I did... It was shit, I know that. I tried to tell you so many times but I just didn't want to fuck this up. I like you so much, like, more than I can really put into words.... So I've picked a few songs that when I listen to them... I think of you, every word I'm about to sing. I mean it. I really mean it, Henry. I know that it took Pez asking me to flirt with you to get to know how amazing you are but I like to believe, eventually I'd fall for you, no matter the timeline, no matter the circumstance... Anyway, I'm rambling," Alex huffs out a short laugh.
"The first song I've chosen is "Songbird" by Fleetwood Mac. I honestly wanted to play it for you in person, I was planning on asking you to be my boyfriend but then... Well, you know what happened. This song, is really how I feel about you," Alex says, following by an sullen sigh. He beings playing the song, every word he sings is emotional and true. Alex realises, this is a confession of love and he sings it, meaning every word.
Alex continues singing eight more songs, explaining why he chose it before singing each of them. He sings "Invisible string" and "Betty" by Taylor Swift, making a lighthearted joke about June's influence.
Then followed by, "Pretty boy" by The Neighbourhood, "TALK ME DOWN" by Troye Sivan. Both express the comfort Henry gives him, just by being in his company.
He plays "Falling" by Harry Styles and "Ur so pretty" by Wasia Project, Alex uses these two songs to express how much in the wrong he knows he is in, how this past week without contact has made him feel and how much it killed him to hurt Henry.
"Lastly," Alex says, his voice a little strained, a little breathless and his chest feeling heavy. "I'm going to play 'The few things' again, when I performed that song, I did it for you. I may not know what the fuck I'm doing half the time, but I know you are one of the few things I am so certain about. I hate that Pez had to get me to open my eyes to see it but fuck, Henry. I really care about you. I hate that I let you down."
Alex plays that same song from the ball, closing his eyes as he sings it. He's back on stage, his eyes locked on Henry at the back of the hall, serenading him with this song. Meaning all of it. Alex would do anything to go back to that night, where Henry still smiled at him, still trusted him. Still wanted him.
"If you listen to this, because for all I know you could toss this out without even listening... I wish I said this in better circumstances, but I fell for you, Henry. Pez just asked me to flirt with you until you gave up on Connor. But the problem is, I stupidly, fell in love with you. That was never what Pez asked of me. Also, I called the deal off with Pez. I don't need a "reward". The prize was you all along, I was just too stupid to see it at first. But I understand if you never want to see or talk to me again. I respect whatever decision you make but I had to tell you how I feel. I'm so, so sorry Henry."
Alex ends the recording, his heartbeat ringing in his ears and a heavy breath escapes his lip. He has no idea if this is going to work. Alex gets a blank CD-RW from his desk, ones he had when he impuslively bought when he decided to start recording his own music but eventually lost motivation due to him being in the middle of exams. He slides the disk into his laptop and begins burning the audio he just recorded onto the disk.
Alex leaves the disk in his laptop, allowing it time to burn, staring tiredly and blankly at the screen.
Suddenly, a knock at his door shatters the silence, and his heart leaps into his throat. He quickly stands up from his desk chair, pushing it back on its wheels with a nervous energy he can't contain.
"Come in," Alex calls out, his voice betraying his anxiety as he stands in the center of his dorm room, staring at the closed door.
The door creaks open to reveal June and Nora, and Alex's heart drops a little at their unexpected arrival.
"Oh," he mutters, his spirits deflating as he sits back down in his desk chair, heaving a tired sigh. He didn't expect Henry to show up at his door but deep down, he wishes he would.
"Wow, try not to sound too excited to see us," Nora quips, walking into the room with a paper bag in her hand.
"You look like shit." June, with her ever-observant eye, surveys the state of his room and raises an eyebrow. "And your room looks as bad as you do."
Alex blinks, not sure if he's more annoyed or grateful for their presence. "Did you come over just to insult me?"
"No, actually," June replies with a grin, nodding to Nora. "We come bearing gifts."
Nora chimes in, her smile warm, "We got you a burrito."
Alex's tired expression softens, and he manages a weak smile. "You guys didn't have to."
June and Nora exchange knowing glances before June perches herself on the end of Alex's bed. "Well, someone has to make sure you're still alive."
Nora hands him the paper bag containing the burrito, and he takes it with gratitude. He doesn't know what he'd do without his girls.
"Thanks," he says sincerely, feeling a knot in his throat as he starts unwrapping the burrito. Food hasn't been a priority lately, but he realizes as he gets a wiff of the burrito that he's starving. Living off iced coffee isn't exactly healthy.
"You're welcome," Nora replies with a gentle smile, sitting down on the edge of his bed beside June.
The three of them fall into an easy silence as Alex takes a few bites of the burrito, savoring the taste even as his mind races with thoughts of Henry. He can feel their concern hanging in the air, unspoken but palpable.
Finally, June breaks the silence, her voice soft and understanding. "So, how are you holding up?"
Alex looks up from his burrito, meeting June's eyes. "I've been running."
"You run?" June raises an eyebrow.
"I do now," Alex says. He clears his throat, deciding to cut the bullshit and just be honest. "Actually... I've been a mess. I really fucked up. Like, really bad."
Tears well up in Alex's eyes, and he blinks them back. He's done enough crying in private over the past week. "I just... I can't believe I let this happen. I was so scared of losing him that I ended up losing him anyway... You all warned me and I didn't listen."
June's expression softens, and she reaches out to give his arm a reassuring squeeze. "Love can be messy, Alex. But it's also forgiving. You just need to give him some time. We all saw how hard he fell for you, too."
Alex nods, grateful for their support even as he feels the weight of his mistakes pressing down on him. "I'm going to try to make things right, somehow. Well, I have something planned."
Nora smiles warmly. "I'm really glad, I'm sure with time he'll come around."
"And even if he doesn't," June adds, offering a ressuring smile. "You'll always have us."
Alex smiles, probably the most he has all week, and goes back to his burrito which seems to taste so much better when it's his first sustainable meal of the day. June and Nora only stay for a few minutes longer before they say they have to leave and get ready for a dinner with some girls from their course.
By the time he's alone again, the CD has finished burning and Alex carefully takes it out and places it in a transparent plastic case. He pulls out a sharpie from his desk draw and writes on the disk; "To Henry, I'm sorry. These remind me of you. Yours, Alex."
Alex gazes at the CD for a moment, a combination of hope and anxiety coursing through him. He knows this is just a small gesture, a drop in the vast ocean of emotions that have been stirred up between him and Henry, but it's a start. It's something.
Putting his phone back in his pocket, he reaches for a jacket and slips it on. With the CD still clutched tightly in his hand, he leaves his dorm room behind.
The short five-minute walk from his dorm to Henry's feels like an eternity. Every step is a battle against the anxiety that threatens to overwhelm him.
As he climbs the stairs to Henry's dorm corridor, his heart hammers in his chest. The corridor seems endless, and he can hear the echoes of his own footsteps ringing in his ears. Alex finally comes to a halt in front of Henry's door, his hand hovering just inches away from knocking. But he can't bring himself to do it. The words have to come from his music, not from his faltering voice.
With a heavy sigh, Alex kneels down and carefully slides the CD under the crack beneath Henry's door. He takes a moment to stare at the slender space that separates him from the person he's hurt the most, the CD now his last hope. Then, without looking back, he rises to his feet and descends the stairway, leaving behind a CD with his feelings for Henry waiting to be listened to.
—
Minutes turn into hours and hours turn into days without hearing a word from Henry. Each day that passes by feels more and more like rejection and he feels himself losing Henry completely.
It's fucking horrible. No matter how much Alex runs, plays music–he's even been doing small gigs at venues–he still feels that knotted feeling in his stomach, reminding him that he's lost something so important to him.
It's almost nine pm when Alex is walking home from a bar where he just played a gig during a busy Friday night. He forced himself to go home early because he found himself welling up over a glass of whiskey—he felt embarrassingly pathetic being seen in that state.
Opening the door to his empty dorm, which he's now tidied to perfection during last night's restless chaotic energy, feeling nothing other than loneliness. He kicks off his shoes as he shuts the door behind him, leaning against the door with a breath he feels like he's been holding all night. He feels the weight of everything becoming too much and his eyes start to sting as they tear up.
He slumps into his desk chair and pulls out his phone, he needs to call someone before he has another meltdown. He's had plenty of those lately.
"Hello?" June's voice says, muffled over the phone.
"Hi June." Alex's voice breaks as he speaks, he hears June sigh sadly.
"Alex..." she says sadly. There's a brief pause, and then some shuffling sounds over the phone. "I'm with Nora, you're on speaker."
"I left something... An apology for Henry at their dorm and I haven't heard anything for days–"
"Alex," Nora's voice cuts in, and a brief silence hangs in the air."Henry's been in London."
Alex blinks in disbelief. "What?"
"He went to visit his sister, Pez told us."
"Why wouldn't he tell me earlier?!"
"Apparently, Henry had been giving Pez the cold shoulder as well," June sighs sadly across the line. "He only just got home this morning."
As Alex struggled to digest this information, a sudden, sharp knock on his dorm room door pierces the heavy silence.
"Uh... Someone's here, gotta go," Alex stammers.
Before June or Nora can respond, Alex hastily hangs up the call, his attention now wholly consumed by whoever is standing on the other side of his door. He gets up from his chair and approaches the door, his heartbeat ringing in his ears.
Alex hesitates for a moment, his hand hovering over the doorknob. Alex feels anxious and hopeful all at the same time which becomes a tangled, nauseous feeling in his gut. The knock sounds again, a bit more urgent this time, as if the visitor knows that Alex is on the other side.
With a deep breath, he steels himself and turns the doorknob slowly, allowing the door to creak open. His eyes widen as there stands Henry, his eyes red-rimmed, cheeks tear-streaked, and Alex's CD clutched tightly in his hand. Alex's breath catches in his throat as he takes in the sight of the man he thought he might have lost forever.
Their gazes lock, and for a moment, neither of them speak. The weight of the unspoken words, the hurt, the longing, and the love hung heavily in the air. Alex's heart pounds loudly in his chest, drowning out all other sounds around them.
He side steps to allow space for him to come inside as Henry gives him a curt nod. He stares at the ground whilst Alex shuts the door behind him, wiping his now sweaty palms on his pants.
"Henry..." Alex breathes, his voice barely more than a whisper.
"Christ, Alex you're absolutely unbearable sometimes," Henry shakes his head, looking back up at Alex.
"You don't get to do this. You don't get to hurt me so deeply, and then know me so thoroughly. It's - it's not bloody fair Alex," Henry's frustration surges, and his words tumble out in a torrent of pent-up feelings.
"I want to hate you," Henry continues, his face contorting with a painful mixture of anger and sadness, a combination that shatters Alex's heart into fragments. "God, Alex, I'm furious with you, but more with myself for my inability to do anything but hate you. I tried. This last week, I tried so hard to give you up, to despise you for what you did–Christ Alex, I went to London to try to forget about you and yet, here I am. It's not fair. It's not fair that I so desperately wish I weren't enthralled by your affections. It's not fair that you encapsulate my mind, take me on journeys through leaps and bounds, understand me to my very core and then hurt me so deeply, and still occupy my mind and my heart." His voice breaks on the last word, a single tear tracing its path down his cheek.
Alex's own heartbreak deepens with each word, knowing this is how he's made him feel. Henry doesn't stop, as he takes a deep breath, trying to regain his composure.
"It's not fair that through all this, despite my most desperate attempts to be anything but in love with you, I failed. Alex, when, from the moment I first saw you, have I ever alluded that I didn't love you? Christ, you fell from grace and enamored me with your charms and I was a goddamn fool. If you think for even a second that I hated you at all, I can assure you that I have never hated you, not one bit. Even as much as I wish I did. The truth is, Alex, you hold my heart in a way no man ever has and it is utterly frightening that I let myself fall for you this way," Henry admits, his voice cracking as he wipes away stray tears.
Henry fixes his gaze firmly on Alex, his eyes searching, pleading for answers. Alex feels so vulnerable standing in front of Henry, hearing how he feels and hating himself so much for being the cause of it.
Henry continues. "So, Alex, if you truly do not care about me, I need to know now so that I may rid myself of these feelings. I can't... do this anymore. I need to know what you want. Please afford me that."
"Henry." Alex's voice cracks, his voice betraying him. "I haven't stopped thinking about you and what I did, all week. It's driven me fucking crazy. I wanted to explain everything, I really did, I wanted to tell you as soon as I knew I had fallen for you. But I didn't, and for that Henry, I'm so sorry. I don't know how I can ever make it up to you but I'll do whatever it takes and I will never stop trying to regain your trust. I know... I don't deserve your forgiveness, and you have no reason to trust me but Henry... I will do anything and everything, just to earn it back. I don't care how long it takes, I will wait years if I have to. Just know..."
Henry's face softens, his eyes still carefully blank and glassy.
"I am so sorry, nothing about how I feel is fake, or for any ulterior motive. I genuinely fell for you, Henry."
The air between them seems to hold its breath as Henry's gaze remains locked onto Alex's, his emotions battling within him. Alex's heart feels like it might burst at any moment, the weight of his actions and the intensity of Henry's emotions nearly overwhelming him. He's been waiting for over a week for this moment.
After what feels like an eternity, Henry's carefully guarded expression starts to waver. His anger and frustration are still present, but they're now accompanied by a glimmer of something else, something vulnerable and uncertain.
Alex takes a hesitant step forward, closing the distance between them. He reaches out, his hand trembling as he gently brushes a tear from Henry's cheek with his thumb. It's a small, tentative gesture, but it's filled with sincerity.
"Please, Henry," Alex whispers, his voice trembling with emotion. "I never wanted to hurt you. I never meant for any of this to happen. I just... I couldn't help how I felt. And I was scared, so scared of ruining what we had."
Henry's breath hitches as he leans into Alex's touch, his anger slowly giving way to a complex mix of emotions. He doesn't speak, but his eyes search Alex's, seeking answers.
Alex continues, his voice raw with honesty, "I was such an idiot, Henry. I should have been honest with you from the beginning. I shouldn't have betrayed your trust like this."
Tears continue to stream down Henry's face, but he doesn't pull away from Alex's touch. It's as if he's torn between wanting to stay angry and wanting to forgive, and Alex can't tell which one he's leaning towards.
"I promise, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you let me," Alex vows, his voice unwavering. "I'll be patient, I'll be honest, and I'll be here, every step of the way. Just tell me what you need, and I'll do it."
Taking a deep breath, Alex lowers his hand but doesn't step back. He gazes into Henry's eyes.
"I love you, Henry."
The room remains silent, the weight of their emotions hanging in the air. Henry's inner turmoil is evident, but there's also a flicker of something that resembles forgiveness in his eyes.
Finally, Henry speaks, his voice a whisper, "I don't know how to trust you again," he says, his eyes searching. "However, giving you up this week has been torture. I don't think I could willingly put myself through that again."
"I'll spend every day proving to you that you can trust me again," Alex promises, offering a small smile to ease the tension. "We'll take it one day at a time, Henry, and no matter what you decide, I'll understand."
A long silence hangs between them, Alex's chest tightens with the anticipation of what Henry is thinking. Henry's expression is almost impossible to read and Alex feels like he might be sick if the silence goes on any longer.
Finally, Henry's voice breaks the silence, his words a whisper in the quiet of the room. "Okay," he says, uncertainty and hope warring in his eyes. "I... I want to try," he admits, but Alex's heart drops as he adds, "As friends."
Alex feels his heart shatter in his chest. He gulps and nods, a weak "okay," escaping his lips as he recollects himself. He resolutes to friends being bearable; he'd rather have Henry as just a friend than not have him at all. Alex swallows, looking back up at Henry and nodding again.
"I'll do whatever you need, Hen."
"Thank you," Henry's voice waivers as he gives Alex a firm nod in return and a small smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.
"Of course," Alex responds immediately because fuck, Alex would go to war for this man.
"I should get going," Henry says, his eyes searching Alex's face. Alex doesn't want to watch him go again so soon.
"I'll walk you," Alex offers immediately.
Henry nods in agreement with a hint of a smile, and they leave Alex's dorm together, walking side by side down the dimly lit hallway.
As they reach the building's exit, Henry turns to Alex with a soft smile. Alex can barely see his face with the dim lighting from the stairway. "How about a walk? I could use some fresh air."
"A walk?" Alex raises an eyebrow with a hint of amusement. "At nine pm?"
"Are you coming or not?"
Alex chokes out a laugh. "Lead the way then."
They step out into the cool night, the moon casting a gentle glow on the path ahead. It's a quiet night, and the air is crisp and invigorating. They walk side by side, the rhythm of their steps as they have small talk about how the previous week has been for the both of them.
Henry walks without any clear direction, and soon they find themselves walking past a playground, surrounded by tall trees and the soft rustling of leaves. Alex's eyes catch onto the swings.
"We fucking have to go on the swings," Alex declares, beelining straight for the pair of swings that sway gently in the night's breeze.
Alex turns his head back, Henry following slowly behind with a roll of his eyes. "Do we?"
Alex settles onto the swing with a wide grin, the chains creaking softly as he begins to sway back and forth. He holds onto the swing's chains, the metal cool to touch. Henry takes the empty swing next to him, mimicking Alex's movements. A soft, almost nostalgic laugh escapes Henry's lips as he watches his own feet dangle in the air.
The night air carries a cool bite of a breeze yet Alex's cheeks flush with warmth just looking at the way the moonlight highlights the definition of Henry's face.
"How was London?" Alex asks, his eyes flickering from his feet back to Henry again.
Henry's gaze turns thoughtful as he leans back on the swing, his feet still swaying gently. He sighs softly.
"It's... complicated," he begins, his voice carrying a mix of emotions. "Seeing Bea really helped, but there were family matters that made it challenging."
Alex nods, sensing that there's more to the story but doesn't want to pry. "I'm sorry."
Henry offers a small, grateful smile. "I'm just glad I'm back. It reminded me why I moved in the first place."
They fall into a comfortable silence, the only sounds being the creaking of the swings and the distant chirping of crickets. Alex watches Henry's profile, the moonlight casting gentle shadows on his face, making him look like a piece of art.
After a while, Alex breaks the silence. "I've missed you," he admits quietly.
Henry turns to him, and there's a softness in his eyes. "I've missed you too, Alex." He hesitates for a moment before continuing. "Far more than I care to admit, frankly."
Alex lets out a soft chuckle, nudging Henry's foot with his own.
"It's my irresistible charm."
"Oh, is it?" Henry responds, smirking.
"Absolutely. I'm very hard to forget about."
Henry's smirk falters slightly as he lets out a soft laugh, shaking his head fondly. "Something like that."
Alex senses the change in tension and moves his swing closer to Henry's, bumping him with his side.
"I really am sorry, H."
"I know," Henry gives him a small smile. "For what it's worth, I forgive you." Henry looks at Alex, moving his swing closer ever so slightly.
Alex moves as well, but suddenly his foot slips and where he was holding himself and the weight of the swing is thrusted in the opposite direction, and then hurtling into Henry's side at full force.
"Oi!" Henry laughs, pushing Alex away from him. Alex laughs so hard at this as he's hurtled off the swing and onto the floor. Henry gets up and hovers over him, reaching out a hand.
"Are you quite finished?"
"Hey, you're the one who shoved me!" Alex protests, taking Henry's hand and standing up, wobbling a bit from dizziness. Henry catches his arms, holding him in close proximity.
"Careful, you might fall and dent your ego," Henry says drily.
"Oh fuck off!" Alex laughs, shoving Henry's shoulder. Henry chuckles alongside him, bumping their hands together ever so slightly.
"Shall we head back now?"
"Lead the way, Your Majesty," Alex quips with a hint of a smirk.
"Sod off," Henry scoffs, smiling right back.
They fall into a comfortable silence, walking beside one another in the moonlight. Throughout the walk, their fingers keep brushing and their hands keep bumping and Alex wonders how long he'll be able to be just friends with the man he's so desperately in love with.
As they approach Henry's dorm, Alex turns to face him. Henry smiles softly, which makes Alex want nothing more than to plant a kiss on his cheek—friends do that, right? It's a totally normal thing for friends to do. He's definitely kissed Nora on the cheek.
It doesn't take much internal dialogue for Alex to convince himself to lean forward to place a swift, gentle kiss on Henry's cheek. When Alex pulls back, Henry's features reveal a mix of surprise, a slight pink creeping into his cheeks before he breaks into a tight-lipped smile.
"'Night, Henry."
"Goodnight, Alex."
Alex lets go of Henry slowly, backing away before asking, bravely, "I'll see you tomorrow?"
Henry looks at him, letting out a contented sigh before surging forward, grabbing Alex's face in his hands and kissing him fervently. Alex lets out a small noise in surprise but kisses him back eagerly, closing his eyes and melting into Henry's embrace. He gets one hand in Henry's hair, the other resting on Henry's shoulder as they move impossibly closer. Henry pulls back (far too soon, in Alex's opinion) and rests their foreheads together, smiling widely as they both catch their breaths.
"Damn, do you kiss all your friends like that?" Alex says playfully, but it comes out a little breathless. Henry huffs out a laugh, placing a stray curl behind Alex's ear.
"Only the ones I like."
"Hmm, should I be worried then?" Alex teases, a hint of anxiety he tries to hide still clear in his voice.
Henry's smile impossibly softens further. He leans forward, placing a chaste kiss on Alex's lips.
"You shan't worry, love. I happen to like you the most," Henry smiles, stepping backwards and walking back into his dorm as Alex stares at him, his heart hammering in his chest.
"I'll see you tomorrow," Henry says with a small wave as he leaves Alex standing there, dumbstruck and completely, utterly in love.
—
The next morning, Alex is sitting in the campus park on a blanket underneath an ailanthus altissima tree, his back leaning against the trunk. Its leaves have transformed into a vivid shade of orange, adorning the ground around him with a vibrant carpet of sunset-colored leaves.
He cradles his guitar in his lap, its polished wood gleaming in the dappled early morning sunlight that filters through the leaves. As he patiently waits for Henry's arrival, a contented smile graces his lips, and his fingers dance lightly over his phone screen as he sends one final reply to Henry.
Saturday 7:06 am
Alex
Meet me at BU beach?
Henry
You're insufferable.
Henry
Give me 10.
Alex
I'll be waiting princess X
Henry
Suddenly I am unavailable.
Alex
See you soon babycakes
Alex tucks his phone into his pocket, a mix of excitement and nervousness coursing through him. He knows that every meeting with Henry now is so important to mending things between them, he can't fuck it up again.
The campus park is quieter than its usual bustling atmosphere during class hours. Nevertheless, a steady stream of students have returned from their breaks, preparing for the impending new semester. Some are absorbed in their own world of headphones and textbooks, while others chat animatedly with friends.
Ten minutes later of mindless strumming, a familiar figure emerges from the campus path. Henry's steps are unhurried, his expression a mix of fatigue and bemusement. He approaches Alex with a slight smile, he can't help but feel himself smile back at him.
"Princess, huh?" Henry teases as he reaches the blanket, casting a playful glance at Alex. Seating himself across from Alex, he stretches his legs out comfortably and props himself up with one hand.
Alex grins. "Well, it suits you, doesn't it?"
Henry's mouth meets his instead of responding, his hand reaching for Alex's neck and Alex is so in love he could die. In the heat of the moment, Henry moves closer but instead fumbles his hand and knocks the guitar on the ground between them with a thud of hollow wood and accidental strum of strings.
"Do you mind not breaking my guitar?" Alex says, managing to choke out a laugh despite the unexpected interruption.
Henry, still recovering from the shock, smiles sheepishly. "Hardly the same as a broken heart."
"Touché," he concedes with a playful grin. "I feel like that's going to be brought up very often."
Henry chuckles and reaches for the fallen guitar, carefully setting it back in Alex's lap. "Only when it benefits me," he replies with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Henry settles back in his spot, lying back and propping himself up his elbow while Alex moves the guitar from his lap to the ground beside him. Looking at Henry feels like how every love song sounds.
"You know," Alex begins, Henry hums in acknowledgement. "I've been thinking."
"I highly doubt that," Henry quips.
"I highly doubt that," Alex says, mocking Henry's accent and receiving a kick in the leg. "You're lucky you have a good excuse to insult me every five seconds," Alex grins.
"I never need an excuse to insult you, dear," Henry quips, a soft smile tugging his lips upwards. He can't help but lean forward and plant a chaste kiss on them.
"As I was saying," Alex sighs playfully against Henry's lips, pulling away and leaning back against the tree. "Before I was rudely interrupted-"
"Apologies. I'll be sure to withhold kisses until you've finished speaking," Henry smirks and Alex picks up a handful of leaves and throws them at Henry, delighting in the shriek that escapes his lips and laughing. Henry pounces forward, tackling Alex to the ground and giggling against his lips, their foreheads pressed together. He rolls off, laying by Alex's side now.
"Go on, love," Henry prompts softly.
Alex turns his head to look at him. "Remember that CD I made you?"
Henry turns to him as well, a grin forming on his lips. "I remember it quite clearly, yes."
"I thought I'd play you a song from it," Alex says, a shy smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
"You want to serenade me?" Henry teases.
Alex sits himself up, picking up the guitar and placing it back in his lap. "Anything for my princess."
"I beg you not to call me that," Henry says with a scrunch of his nose, despite the faint blush on his cheeks and the smile that refuses to leave his face.
"You love it."
With an affectionate smile, Alex begins to strum the opening chords of "Songbird." Their eyes locked the whole time and Alex feels like they're in a cocoon—where it's just them, only them.
Henry tries to act like he's not totally enamored but the way his face softens speaks volumes that even Alex can hear.
Hours pass with them in the park on their blanket. They lie shoulder to shoulder, a few quick kisses exchanged and a lot of laughing—Alex's cheeks are quite sore, and he doesn't mind at all. As long as he has Henry laughing, nothing else matters.
"So..." Alex drawls, knocking his knees with Henry's.
Henry laughs softly as he rolls his head to look back at him. "So..."
"We're... friends?" Alex grimaces as he says it, realising how it sounds when it comes out.
"Well, no. I don't exactly do this–" Henry gestures between the two of them. "With my friends."
"I figured," Alex lets out a soft laugh. "I just mean, I don't want to assume anything or cross any boundaries—"
"I don't know if I can really tell you right now, Alex," Henry interjects, his expression solemn. "I don't really have it figured out yet."
Henry sighs, looking back up at the tree above him, Alex pulls his lips into a thin line and scrambles with his thoughts to somehow say the right thing. Alex doesn't mind not having a label, or knowing what he is with Henry, as long as he has him in his life. Alex would stay friends with Henry forever if he had to–although it would be quite challenging.
Alex clears his throat and shifts onto his side, facing Henry. "It doesn't have to be anything."
Henry follows suit, propping his head up with his hand. "I know I've been somewhat contradictory with what I want."
"Rightfully so," Alex quickly adds, and Henry smiles gently in response.
"You know, I'm not accustomed to someone being so..." Henry's gaze seems to be in search of the right word. "Patient."
"You don't usually struggle with words," Alex playfully teases.
"It's different with you," Henry laughs breathlessly.
"I have that effect on people," Alex quips with a smirk, his fingers idly tracing patterns on Henry's arm, which causes the hairs on his skin to stand on end, creating a trail of goosebumps.
"Definitely an effect." Henry shivers under Alex's fingers and without much of a pause, Henry places his lips onto Alex's mouth, pushing him onto his back. Their kiss deepens, a silent affirmation of the emotions they've been dancing around. Alex's hands find their way to Henry's waist, pulling him closer, their bodies fitting together as if they were made for each other. The world around them fades, leaving only the gentle rustle of leaves and the warmth of their entwined bodies.
Alex's hand slips to gently cradle his face and his fingers comb through Henry's hair, deepening the kiss. Their bodies press closer, a silent, unspoken desire passing between them. The connection between them, the palpable chemistry, feels like a current of electricity, charging the air around them.
As their lips finally part, Henry gazes into Alex's eyes, his voice barely above a whisper. "You make patience a beautiful thing."
Alex smiles, his heart swelling with emotion. "And you make it worth the wait."