I got back from Falling In Reverse's place right as it was starting to get dark. As soon as I entered the house, I saw Kellin sitting on the couch with his head in his hands while painfully listening to Rachel's babbling. I stifled a laugh and put a blank expression on my face.
I entered the living room, purposely making a little too much noise so that Kellin would look up and notice me. As soon as Rachel bothered to look up at me, she gasped over dramatically and covered her mouth with her hand.
"What happened to your hair?" she asked with wide eyes.
"What do you think happened to it?" I responded and pursed my lips at her stupid reaction.
"Nice choice of color. At least now you don't look like Avatar threw up on you," Kellin smirked at me. He winked after he made sure Rachel couldn't see him which made me want to smile. I suppressed it since I didn't want to raise any questions as to why I was suddenly grinning like an idiot.
It was quite exhausting and irritating sometimes; keeping up appearances. I hated having to lie to Justin and the others, having to hide my emotions all the time. Sure, it was easy when I felt alone and shallow, when I was cold to everyone. But now, things have changed. I've changed. If it's for the better or for the worse, I have no clue and I might never know.
All I know for sure is that with every passing day, I'm finding it more and more difficult to act like my old self. Sure, I miss how I always had a good comeback, how I didn't care about anything or anyone. At the same time it's also nice to have someone who cares about you and wants to make you happy. I remember telling my dad how I wanted a boyfriend to love and comfort me. God bless him, he would always say, "Why do you need a boyfriend if you have me for all that?"
I would laugh and explain how it's not the same because he's my father. It was true- it's not the same, having a parent comfort and love you as having that special person do those things instead. My father would tell me that all I'd ever need in life is a parent or a friend to love and take care of me, but it's not enough. Everyone gets lonely or bored with the same people. Everyone needs a special someone to turn to every once in a while when your parents and friends aren't enough. But no loving parent can understand that because they don't want to lose their child to someone else.
Bottom line is, I like who I'm becoming but I am also very scared. I'm terrified of getting my heart broken but at the same time, I don't want to call things off and spend the rest of my days wondering what would have happened if I had managed to suck it up. I just hoped Kellin actually likes the soft side of me and not the defensive, insulting one. Hey, I'm not one to judge; everyone has their little fetish.
"You're an idiot," I deadpanned pathetically. The urge to slap myself came over me as soon as the words slipped from between my lips. That was such a lame comeback. Rachel looked confused and she stared at me with a wrinkled forehead and furrowed eyebrows. Kellin pursed his lips as he tried his best not to laugh at my pitiful attempt at retaliation.
"Are you feeling okay, sis?" Rachel asked, sounding genuinely concerned. Her worried tone made Kellin's eyes go wide and his face turn into an unflattering frown all at once. To be honest, it sort of threw me off guard as well.
"Yeah, I guess," I chuckled nervously as I tried to keep my face from turning into a creepy smile. "I should be asking you the same thing. Did you get any tattoos?" I asked, trying my best to change the subject.
"Sure did!" Rachel grinned and bent over to show me her tattoo at the back of her thigh. It was a strange design, circles and lines running through each other...it was sort of unnerving actually.
I forced a bright smile onto my face and flashed her my teeth. "Wow! That's...nice!" I breathed out as brightly as I could. She smirked at me in return before hopping off up the stairs and into her room. I let out a sigh of relief and slumped my shoulders forward, thanking the heavens she didn't realize I was lying.
"Don't you think it's simply divine?" Kellin said in a horrible British accent. I chuckled and dumped myself next to Kellin on the couch.
"What about you?" I asked as I surveyed his arms. "Oh! Why did you get so many?! You don't have the look to pull off so many tattoos!" I whined and stuck out my bottom lip at him.
Kellin chuckled and threw his arm over my shoulder. My head immediately slung onto his shoulder, almost greedily as I sighed. "What's that supposed to mean?" Kellin asked curiously as he looked down at me.
"It means you have the nice guy look. Not the dangerous, edgy one," I explained poorly as I stretched my mouth wide open to yawn.
"I don't want to be the nice guy!" It was Kellin's turn to pout and he huffed out an enormous puff of air.
"Why not, you big baby?!" I whined and rubbed at my temples. I was exhausted and confused; Falling In Reverse tend to do that to me, it seems.
"Because last guys finish last!"
"Kellin, it might seem that way at first but you never really know what truly happens in the long run! You can't decide who wins or lose until you compare your life accomplishments after your death! People get what they actually deserve," I whined. I was very tired of that saying.
I do not believe that nice guys really finish last. I can't believe it! I don't want to live in a world where kind persons get pushed around and hurt all the time. I do believe, however, that people get what they deserve. Therefore, if someone is kind and nice to everyone else, everything will work out for them. That doesn't mean that they won't get hurt or beaten down for how generous they are, but everything will work out just the way it's supposed to in the long run...it has to.
"I'm just goofing around, Ri. Nice hair by the way." I could hear Kellin's smile as he squeezed my shoulder, pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head. "It smells great, too." I laughed and rested my head on his shoulder once more.
"Is something wrong?" Kellin asked carefully. "You seem distracted."
"Ronnie...kissed me," I wondered aloud, not really sure if I was telling him or myself.
"What?!" Kellin growled as he crushed my body into his.
"Yeah. I forgave him for everything and we...sat down with the guys and just hung out. Then, before I left, he kissed me. I was about to slap him but it just wasn't worth it. So I snapped at him and stomped away," I explained slowly, once again more to myself than to Kellin.
"I can't believe he-"
"Kellin, shut up! It's not like he stole my heart or any of that shit! I don't want Ronnie! This stupid ass feud between you two has to stop because it's exhausting!" I groaned, getting very frustrated all of a sudden.
Kellin sighed and hung his head low. "You're right. I'm sorry."
"You're damn right I am. Now come on," I said as I got up and stuck my hand out for him to grab. "I'm tired. Let's go to bed," I smirked at him. He smiled cheekily and snatched my hand giddily. With that, we made our way upstairs and that night, I managed to sleep through the whole night without getting up once.
The next day rolled by too quickly and I found myself groaning as the sunlight hit my face mercilessly. Kellin had gone back to his room early that morning, just in case anyone came into my room. The decision to stumble downstairs without brushing my hair or showering was made in a flash and soon, I found myself being ridiculed for my look.
"Justin?" I asked the man who was clutching his stomach like a mad man as he laughed all the air out of his lungs.
"What?!" he laughed out, tears streaming down his face.
"You better watch out because I might shake you till your bones rattle and your teeth fall out!" I barked out nastily. He stopped laughing and looked at me with wide eyes. I smirked and threw Justin one menacing nod in his direction.
"Get me some cereal, slave!" I ordered and stuck my nose high up in the air, my arms crossed stubbornly over my chest. No one moved so I raised one eyebrow at the three boys and dared them to test my patience. Gabe, Justin and Jack took one look at my pissed off expression and quickly stumbled around the kitchen to get me a bowl of cereal.
What should have taken twenty seconds ended up taking five minutes. I wasn't about to complain, as long as I didn't have to get up and do it myself. Kellin strolled casually into the kitchen, hair tousled all over the place, bare stomach and puffy face from sleeping. Overall, he was the cutest thing I had ever seen.
"Oh my God! Breathe, Ri! Breathe!" Kellin suddenly yelled and started shaking me.
"What the fuck are you doing, you Medusa cutout?!" I shrieked and held my chest to prevent my racing heart from spluttering out.
"I'm sorry. I thought you had turned purple from choking," he smirked lamely at me.
"Oh come on, Kellin! You can do better than that. That was so lame!" I laughed heartily, making me almost fall off the stool.
"I'm still half asleep," he pouted.
"What the fuck do I care? The point is that you should always be ready for war, Quinn." I said that with so much smugness and confidence that I even shocked myself. What I hadn't realized is that my words weren't supposed to help Kellin, they were for me.
The doorbell rang which startled us all. Yeah, it was noon already but no one ever really came by which made us all exchange curious and confused glances. Being the perfect lady I am, I dragged my body into the hallway and jerked the front door open.
Before me stood a beautiful woman with long black hair that cascaded down her back in loose curls. Her deep brown eyes bore into mine, as if looking at my soul. As she opened her full lips to speak, I noticed how her sharp cheekbones lifted and how her defined jaw fell slightly.
"Hi. I'm looking for Kellin Quinn?" she asked in a soft voice, as if she were actually afraid of me. Suddenly, I realized that she had every right to be scared! I looked like Freddy fucking Krueger for God's sake! My hand suddenly shot up to my hair as I tried my best to discreetly tame it.
"Yeah, he's here. Who are you?" I asked politely.
"Katelynne," she replied back with a small, innocent smile.
Well...fuck me!