After reminiscing on his past, a nightmare causes Lucien to wake up in the middle of the night and stand under the stars to reassure himself, though he is not alone.
PSA :: There will be mentions of what we know happened to Lucien Under the Mountain. I don't go into depth, but I do mention it. So please, keep that in mind.
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The following evening, Lucien was told about the event that would take place the next day. His colour must have drained because he was quickly told he didn't have to attend if he did not wish to. Though he shook his head, insisting he would go, telling himself that Amarantha was no longer around.
Now he was alone in the room given to him. He delicately took the box down hidden in the furthest corner of the cupboards and placed it on the bed before taking the lid off. There, he saw the only mask he owned. The old fox mask.
Taking his mask off at the end of the night would be as easy as untying it. That didn't mean he wasn't constantly wearing a mask already. That even though that physical one had come off, that his true mask had been put right on. The one he wore, as if nothing had changed between Tamlin and he.
Though truthfully, Lucien couldn't deny things had changed between he and Tamlin the moment their masks came off. Before that, even. He still bore the scars. Tamlin had been ordered, but he hadn't even tried to fight against the order. Amarantha had decided to humiliate him even more by making him count.
It was probably one of the two times his father had actually cared, but that may have been because by punishing him, and by humiliating him, it was also humiliating his father and the Autumn Court. And his mother.
Lucien shook his head, clearing the memory before her cries overtook him.
Looking down into the box, swallowing thickly, Lucien picked up the fox mask. It was just an inanimate object. The mask itself didn't hold any magical properties. Amarantha was no longer around. Despite his nightmares.
Closing the lid, Lucien decided to continue with his evening and go to bed. His sleep had not lasted long, though, as nightmares of that wretched time plagued him, and he woke, with hours until morning still.
Taking a deep breath, Lucien stepped out to the balcony, leaning against the railing to look at the stars. Remind himself he was above ground. He was not under that mountain.
Lucien heard an expression of concern, along with a soft gasp coming from behind him. He did not let himself wonder how she even got here. Though not wanting to face her while he was in this state, he didn't turn around. Though he did turn his head halfway, greeting her, before looking back out to the stars.
Rather than return his greeting, Lucien felt her walk closer. Thinking she might come stand beside him, he froze as he felt her fingers on his back, tracing his scars.
Gripping the railing tighter and biting the inside of his ckeek to keep his reactions under control as best he could, Lucien remained frozen as Elain Archeron continued to trace the scars along her mates back, having absolutely no idea the reaction it was causing him.
Suddenly, her hand was gone, and Lucien felt as if he could breathe again. Back when she touched him last, he had a shirt, a jacket. It was not her hand against his bare skin. It also was not her hand gently tracing out scars from a time he wished he could forget.
Suddenly, she was next to him, leaning against the railing. "What happened?" She asked him, also looking towards the stars.
"Forgive me, my lady. I do not believe that is a story you wish to hear." Lucien responded, not trusting himself to look at her so soon as he still felt the tingling in his scars.
Though Elain seemed to have other plans as she grabbed his arm and turned him to look at her. There was an anger in her eyes that Lucien did not know she could possess. An anger that could rival that of her sisters, the viper. It scared Lucien, knowing Elain could possess such an anger.
"Do not decide for me. Tell me, what happened?" Her anger had layers, Lucien realized. He remembered hearing talk amongst those amongst Feyre and her family, mentioning how Elain had healed someone important, a long while ago. So it made sense that she would be angry that he would have unhealed scars on his back.
The second layer Lucien realized was that this female in front of him, his mate, was often not allowed to make her own decisions at home. His own anger at that realization flared, which brought forth the third and final layer of her anger. She was seeing ugly scars on her mates back. This layer was uncontrollable, part of the bond.
And so, despite his better judgement, Lucien obliged her wish and told her the story.
"And Feyre still wished to marry him after that?" Elain asked in shocked anger. Her hand, which had never left his arm, gripped tighter. Unable to trust his voice at this point, Lucien just nodded.
Elain shook her head before sighing. As if she were expecting better from her sister.
Hand still on his arm, Elain brought her other hand up to his face. Closing his eyes, Lucien then tried to keep control again.
"And this one?" Elain asked him.
Unable to deny her anything as she lightly traced the scar along his face, where the skin was at its most sensitive, Lucien found himself explaining that scar as well, noticing though not caring as the grip still on his arm grew tighter as he continued to speak.
"Lucien," his name, again, falling from her lips, sounded like honey, "I'm so sorry that happened to you."
Snapping his eyes open, refusing to be pitied, Lucien was about to say something, but his words died on his tongue, when he noticed that there was no pity in her eyes. Only sympathy, with that strange anger mixed in. But no anger towards him at all.
With their eyes connected, both feeling strong emotions, there was a charge. With their eyes connected and his true mask, nowhere to be found. With their eyes connected and her hands on his skin, they both noticed at the same time the bond tying them together, glowing brighter, shining, nearly purring in delight.
Lucien was staring at Elain as the words mate, mate, mate began flowing through his mind, and he wondered if the bond was pulsing those words through her mind as well when there was a small gasp from Elain, just before she...
Pulled back, turning back towards the railing again, looking at the stars.
Taking a moment to let himself calm down, before he joined her at the railing, keeping more space than when she had come out here before.
"Is that why you get nightmares so often?" She asked, without looking towards Lucien, and he did not find himself shocked, as he knew she was always the more intuitive one about this bond, and even though she was the one to shy away constantly, she was always the one to inadvertantly, unknowingly mention it more than him.
Lucien also keenly was aware he would not be sleeping again tonight, both after the charged reaction of being so close, as well as talking about his injuries from under the mountain.
Not wanting to concern his- no, not his, he reminded the part of himself that was pushing so hard for the two of them to get closer. Though not wanting to concern Elain, he put his mask back up, though he felt bad about doing so.
He asked the lady how she got here, and she replied saying she wished to come early. And before he could ask, she continued with a question of her own, asking if his father did not have extra rooms.
Suddenly, in his mind, the two of them were not in the Day Court, standing on the balcony, beneath the stars. But they were back where he grew up, in his room at the River House, his cruel brothers down the hall.
His father. No, she could not stay here, it wasn't safe. The last time his father found out, Jesminda had... And it was public knowledge that Elain was his mate, and that she was keeping him at distance. If he found out she was here, then... his mate was not safe here.
His mask must have slipped at that, because she was turning him to face her again. She was speaking to him, but he was not seeing her, his mind still spinning, his breathing speeding up, his vision tunneling. His father must not learn of her presence, no matter what.
The only thing that pulled him out of his spinning fear, was the golden thread going blindingly bright. He was pulled out of his spinning fear to Elain, his Lady, hugging him.
After pulling back, Elain did fully let go, but did not step as far back as Lucien had thought she would.
"Where did you go?" The words were still distant, though Lucien had heard them this time. He took a glance around to make sure he was not truly at the River House. With a mental sigh of relief Lucien looked back towards Elain.
"Lucien, where were you?" There was his name again. what was making her so comfortable speaking it so freely suddenly? He did not know, but he wished she would not stop. He also wished he would stop reacting to each and every time she said it. But he needed to answer her.
"The River House," Lucien spoke softly, quietly. "My father- Beron, you would not be safe there at all." Lucien explained in the briefest way he could.
Elain must have picked up on what had sent him spinning, and nodded. "I wont call Helion your father again, until you're comfortable and have made that transition yourself, no matter how long it takes. And you don't need to wear that mask around me, that you wear around him about it."
Closing his eyes, Lucien didn't expect the wave of emotion that flowed over him upon hearing those words. he tried to hold back tears, but even with his eyes closed a few did escape.
He felt her hand on his cheek, as she wiped his tears away. The bond did not glow, it did not sing, it stayed dormant just as it usually had when they were not in contact.
"Go back to bed. Go to sleep. Tomorrow's Sun Festival will be a long day. A Festival which I will be at. If things get tough, you can search me out."
Lucien opened his eyes in shock. This had to be a trick. Even if she would be there, she would not actively invite him to search for her, would she?
Elain simply offered a kind, soft smile. "We are friends, are we not?" And with that final line, she turned around and left the balcony, leaving Lucien standing there alone.
The following day, Lucien looked into the box again, and realized he would not be able to wear attire suited for the Day Court, as it did not match the fox mask inside. Even with the variety of colours, there was nothing.
So, much as he was loath to do so, Lucien slipped on, for the last time, some pants from the Autumn Court, A warm, light brown, the colour of leaves, just before they die. His shirt was from the Spring Court, light and airy, such a pale pink it could be mistaken for white at a distance. His boots came from the Night Court, deep black, sturdy, and proper dress. His jacket came from the Human Lands, and was nice enough to stand up agains some of the finer Fae Seamstress' in the Autumn Court, with its deep red, just a shade or two darker than his hair.
Finally, Lucien put on his Fox Mask, with hesitation, and after reminding himself, that the mask could do him no harm. Amarantha was no longer here. After tying the mask in place, his outfit was complete.
He prayed this was the last time he would wear any of these clothes, putting his past behind him, as he started new in the Day Court, even though no one new who he truly was yet.
With his physical mask on, Lucien then also threw up his true mask before walking out of his room, and out towards the main room where festivities would begin within the hour.