CHAPTER FIVE
GUILT OF AN INNOCENT
season one, episode five
IT IS SOLEMN THE FOLLOWING MORNING, Charlotte hadn't managed to get a wink of sleep. She'd spent ages scrubbing at her hands last night, desperately trying to get rid of the blood but her skin is still tinged red. What's worse is that because she'd been awake the entire night, she had to endure listening to Andrea's heartbreaking sobs from outside. The girl doesn't know how anybody managed to sleep but she's sure if they did, it was the furthest thing from peaceful.
Charlotte slowly makes her way from her tent, if people didn't know better, they would probably think she was one of the dead. The bags underneath her eyes from no sleep and her hair messily thrown in a ponytail, she looks as if she hasn't slept in a week. The concerned glances from Lori is something she notices almost immediately, the motherly instinct within the woman obviously coming out, but she doesn't want or need them — there are far bigger problems to deal with right now.
It only worsens with Jaqui's shouts. "A walker got him! A walker bit Jim!"
How much more of this do they have to take? The poor man looks panicked as Daryl rushes over and demands to see the bite, the others rushing around to grab hold of him. Daryl eventually lifts his shirt up to reveal the bite, its deep and already looks viciously infected. A horrible night topped off with an equally as terrible morning.
Charlotte shakes her head and walks through the trees, making her way down to where the water is. Sitting on the edge, she leans over and sticks her hands in, washing them once again to get rid of the leftover blood. It simply won't go, stuck to her as a cruel reminder of what she'd done the previous evening. It may not have been a person anymore but it was once, that's enough to send her mind spiraling.
She hiccups a few sobs, using the sleeve of her shirt to rub at her palm. It's as if it's permanently etched into her skin, the blood of another painting her as some sort of murderer. Charlotte just can't understand how people are so easily unaffected by stabbing something through the head, especially something that was once human.
"Charlie?"
Charlotte quickly wipes away her tears and looks up at Sophia who is standing there will her doll in her hands. Carol isn't too far behind, watching the two as well as the area just in case there is a repeat of last night. The older girl forces a smile on her face.
"Hey Soph, what are you doing out here?" Charlotte asks, Sophia moving to sit down beside her.
"I saw you leave and then, and then I heard you crying. Are you upset about Amy too? She was nice," Sophia's voice is sad, cracking the brunette's heart even more so then it was previously.
"Yeah, she was very nice. How are you holding up?"
Charlotte is the least upset about Ed being one of the victims last night, sometimes karma can be a real bitch and it bit Ed quite severely. He didn't care about his own family, he hurt his own wife and child, there wasn't a redeemable thing about him. However, that doesn't mean that Sophia might not be upset about it, sometimes people even grieve those who hurt them.
"I'm okay, it was scary though," Sophia grimaces.
"Yeah it was, wasn't it? But that's why we stay with this group so that they can keep us safe. Besides, I'm a pretty good shot myself," Charlotte replies, a small smile on her face.
Sophia reaches across to grab Charlotte's hand but the girl shakes her head and pulls back. "I've got blood all over my hands,"
Sophia scrunches her eyebrows together and frowns, eyes on Charlotte's hands. "No there's not. They're really clean,"
Charlotte looks back down again and now she's the one frowning. They are impeccably clean, no blood or dirt in sight. She could almost swear —
Sophia then grabs her hand and places a flower in it,
a beautiful pink against her skin. There's not a speck of red in amongst it all, so for the first time she genuinely smiles. "Thanks Sophia,"
A couple of hours later, Charlotte is in her tent packing her things up. They've since decided to make their way to the CDC, somewhere that Rick had been suggesting since this morning and now people are listening. Charlotte doesn't know the first thing about safe places in this country, so she's happy to go along with what he says.
Her backpack is looking a little worse for wear, not quite bad enough that it has to be replaced, but she's not sure she could ever get rid of it. Her mother had been so excited to give it to her after she'd sown some patches onto it to make it unique for her daughter, her name also stitched into one of the straps.
The very bow that had been her cause for coming here lays beside it as well, the metal a rose gold and now dirtier than it has ever been. After last night, there is also several patches of blood smudged along its surface. If she was at home, her dad would've taken it away and thoroughly cleaned it for her, he was always really good at making the metal shine. It's such a small detail really, in a world like this no one cares whether your weapon is clean, but it always made her feel better before competitions.
Charlotte shoves all her things into the backpack, not that she has very many really, and then slings it over her shoulder. Her hand reaches down to pick up the bow and sheath of arrows, now well and truly ready to be on her way.
She is not sure her tent will be much use any longer, parts of it a little tattered, but it's packed away by Lori anyway. It's better to have something a little shabby then not have anything it all she guesses. As the woman walks by her, she squeezes Charlotte's shoulder gently as a sign of comfort — one that the teenager appreciates greatly.
Morales and his family have decided to leave, part ways with the small group to try and find some other family. It's a little sad to see them go, even if Charlotte didn't really know them too well, because they've become their own little family like unit since being here. Everybody else however, including a rather sickly looking Jim, have decided to stay with the group.
Having no room in Rick's car, Charlotte is relocated to the RV where some of the others are. She cautiously watches on as Jacqui cares for Jim, trying desperately to give him some comfort as he struggles greatly with the infection.
"I have a bit of water in my bag if you want it," Charlotte's accent pierces the air as she opens up her backpack, pulling out the bottle that has about a fifth of the contents.
Jim and Jacqui both look over to the brunette who is now holding it out in their direction, awkwardly glancing at them. Jim then shakes his head at her, leaning his head back against the wall of the RV.
"Don't waste that on me, kid. Somebody else might end up needing that," Jim croaks, his voice tired and pained.
"I think you need it more than any of us at the moment, even if it just helps keep you comfortable for a bit," Charlotte insists, handing the bottle to Jacqui instead who takes it from her with a thankful nod.
After a few moments of fighting it, Jim reluctantly accepts the water and gulps it down in one go. Charlotte is about ninety nine percent sure she can no longer drink from that bottle, if the movies she's seen are anything to go by, so when it's given back she simply places it on the table.
It's rather sudden, the RV coming to a complete halt almost, but she hears something make a noise up ahead. She has never really been one to know anything about cars or vehicles in general, but what she does know is that it didn't sound too good.
Dale and Glenn, who had been sitting at then front of the RV, had gotten out to converse with the rest of the group and left the trio in the back. Jacqui puts her hand to Jim's forehead and frowns, a small sigh leaving her lips. "I'll be back,"
The woman leaves Jim and Charlotte, the girl looking at him rather sadly. He doesn't have long left, she knows it and he does too. This trip seems to be doing more harm than good, he looks more sickly than he had previously and sympathy simmers within her. This is a man who has given up, decided that he doesn't want to continue the fight any longer and she knows it's not an easy choice to make.
Jacqui returns moments later with Rick who crouches down beside the sick man, his voice somewhat gentle as he speaks with him. "We'll be back on the road soon,"
"Oh no. Christ, my bones are like glass. Every little bump, God, this ride is killing me. Leave me here. I'm done, just leave me. I want to be with my family," Jim manages to say, his voice so tired and weak.
"They're all dead. I don't think you know what you're asking. The fever — You've been delirious more often than not,"
"I know. Don't you think I know?"
Jim groans in pain as he moves slightly, further supporting his earlier statement. His entire body is so fragile, the fever has well and truly set in.
"I'm clear now. In five minutes I may not be. Rick, I know what I'm asking. I want this. Leave me here. Now that's on me. Okay? My decision. Not your failure,"
Charlotte moves to sit beside him when Rick leaves again, wanting to provide even the smallest bit of comfort for a man she hardly knows as he struggles to hang on to his life. Jacqui is there as well, the both of them holding one of his hands as gently as they possibly can so there's no pain, just support.
She hates what this world has become.
Moments later, Rick and Shane walk into the vehicle and help him up. Charlotte follows behind, placing her hand on Jacqui's arm as they leave the RV. It's evident to her that Jacqui and Jim have grown to care for one another during this short period of time, grown to appreciate one another's company and that this will hit her hard.
"Hey, another damn tree," Jim chuckles as the two men lean him against it, his head leaning back.
"Hey, Jim, you know it doesn't need to be this," Shane comments quietly.
"No, It's good. The breeze feels nice,"
Jacqui kneels down beside him. "Just close your eyes, sweetie. Don't fight,"
Jacqui kisses him on the cheek, her eyes watery as she backs away from the sight. Charlotte gives him a small smile and a wave of goodbye, a sting in her heart as he struggles to return it. Then she can't watch any more, turning around and getting back onto the RV.
Charlotte leans her head against the window, watching as they pass by what feels like kilometres of trees with no real distinctive difference. They've been driving for ages, so long that she cannot even begin to decipher what time of day it actually is. The sun has started to go down and the air has begun to chill slightly, the small change in temperature hardly even noticeable.
When the RV finally comes to a halt, Charlotte's eyes are struggling to stay open. She wishes she'd managed to get some sleep during the trip but her mind has been in overdrive, every time she closes her eyes, all she can see is Jim as a walker. Then he's set free on the camp and everybody else turns into one too — Carl, Sophia, Rick, Lori, everybody. It's a horrifying sight that her mind has conjured up, evil even.
"You might want to grab that bow," Glenn calls back to Charlotte as he looks out the front, surveying what she can only assume is something not too great.
The teenager does as she's told, grabbing the weapon and her arrows, before leaving the vehicle. Sharply inhaling, Charlotte has to bring a hand to her face to stop the sudden influx of a horrific smell – the smell of death. The ground is littered with hundreds of walker bodies, all of them unmoving and decomposing. Not only that, but they've also attracted swarms of flies, a truly post apocalyptic scene in front of her.
"Fuck," Charlotte's profanity is muffled by her hand but it's more than likely what everybody else is also thinking. To her, this looks like one of the worst places they could be, nothing about this place looks like a safe haven.
Walking over to the rest of the group, she tries to ignore the sound of body parts beneath her feet, almost no clear path on the way. Who had killed all of these? Had they managed to make it out alive?
Charlotte sticks close to Sophia and Carol as they move closer to the building, seeking that same comfort that she'd given Jim earlier — she's glad he didn't have to see this, he didn't need this with the state he was in. Rick and Shane lead them ahead, the two talking in quiet voices. The latter bangs on the door, hoping that by some miracle it opens up but it doesn't. Instead, they're left wondering whether or not they'll actually be able to get out of here.
"There's nobody here," T-Dog says.
"Then why are the shutters down?" Rick replies, a lot more hopeful than the rest of them right now.
Charlotte wants to share his optimism, she really does, but nothing here points to anything living. Well, besides the quiet groans that begin to fill the air. Charlotte and Daryl seem to have the same sort of reaction time, the two of them spinning to find walkers stumbling their way towards them.
"Walkers!" Daryl yells, alerting everyone as he shoots a closer walker in the head.
Charlotte strings to bow up and unloads it, the arrow zipping through the air and slamming straight through the head of one of the walkers. If this was any other situation, she'd be absolutely ecstatic by the precision of the shot but now is not the time for happiness.
Daryl and Shane are now yelling at each other, which isn't helping the current predicament, and Charlotte can feel the tension growing with every passing second. She's so in the zone though, a talent she'd picked up since taking up archery, that she's able to drown them out and get on with the job. Her adrenaline has well and truly kicked in, and whilst the rest of her shots aren't exactly the greatest she's ever done, they at least slow the oncoming attack.
"The camera, it moved," She hears Rick say behind her.
"You imagined it," Shane responds.
"It moved. It moved,"
"Rick, it is dead, man. It's an automated device. It's gears, okay? They're just winding down. Now come on,"
However, as she's learnt rather quickly, Rick is stubborn and unwilling to leave. Charlotte can't waste any more arrows, she is no use to this group if she can't defend herself and if she has to keep these walkers at bay, well they'll run out very quickly.
"Man, just listen to me. Look around this place. It's dead, okay? It's dead. You need to let it go, Rick," Shane is almost pleading at this point, trying to pull Rick away. The man simply starts to slam his hands against the shutters.
"Rick, there's nobody here!" Lori exclaims, now joining Shane in trying to pull the man away.
"I know you're in there. I know you can hear me!" Rick yells.
"Everybody get back to the cars now!" Shane calls over his shoulder.
"Please, we're desperate. Please help us. We have women, children, no food, hardly any gas left,"
"Rick, there's nobody here," Lori says desperately.
"We have nowhere else to go," Rick bangs on the door again, yelling as he does so. "If you don't let us in, you're killing us! Please! Please help us. You're killing us! You're killing us! You're killing us!"
Then any doubt she has in Rick Grimes fades in a matter of mere seconds, light streaming out of the building as the door finally opens up. Hope, maybe it's not such a stupid concept after all.
NOTE!
Thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoyed it!
This story also has a beautiful new cover made by fireandbloods ! Thank you again!!