I love you guys too much, so here's an early update ❤️❤️
--
Last night, I broke down on the phone with Dad. It was hard explaining the situation. I made sure to leave out the fact that Yejun is my teacher, but Dad sounded really upset.
I walked up the stairs to the sixth floor. Feeling numb from last night, I headed to my first period, grateful I didn't have Min's class today. On my way to second period, however, things were a lot different.
Min was in the hallway. Never did I see him before fourth period. Like always, his hair was unkempt, but it was more messier. It's hard to describe, but it looked like he didn't sleep. He was looking around the hallways, stopping some people. Dropping my gaze, I blended in with students.
By the time it was lunch, I saw Min downstairs. The squad and I were on the line. "Kat, stand next to me." I whisper screamed at her, "Why?" she responded, "Just do it!"
She stood beside me, but it was too late. Min and I locked eyes, his face of worry turning into relief and then anger. He stomped over to me and grabbed my arm. "H-!" We quickly walked through the lunch room, stopping in the vacant stairwell. What pissed me off the most was nobody decided to do something about Min dragging me. They were either too preoccupied or just didn't care.
Min's back was to me as he paced. I turned to walk away, but he roughly grabbed my arm and pinned me to the wall. I let out a surprised yell, trying to push him off of me but he only stood in place. His dark eyes glared down at me, seething in nothing but anger. I felt myself become upset. Why the hell is he mad?!
"What do you want?" I asked, trying to cool myself down. He leaned in closer. I felt my body betray my emotions as my face heated up. "Where did you go last night?" he asked.
I narrowed my eyes at him. "Obviously h-" He tightened his grip on my arm. I let out a painful cry and his jaw clenched. "I was looking for you all night. I thought you were kidnapped. Why did you leave?"
"Is that so?!" I spat, "Well I'm so sorry for interrupting you and your precious girlfriend's time together. How the fuck are you talking about no love in your Dojang when you're going out with an instructor?! Huh?! How could you be so two faced?! Get the fuck off of me!" I yelled, trying to pry my hands off, but he only stayed in place, "Cindy and I are none of your business."
I sarcastically laughed, "Then Alaric and I are none of your business." Yejun tensed and let out a drawn out sigh, "There is no love in my Dojang because it's mine. I create the rules." I tried to push him off of me, but he grabbed my other hand. I felt angry tears well in my eyes. Never have I been in this situation before, never have I been so weak and defenseless.
His face softened as soon as a tear rolled down my cheek. I hate him, I hate him so much. He let go of my hand and raised his to wipe my tears, but I only slapped it away. His other hand still held a firm grip on my arm.
"Let go of me." I sniffed. He only stood there, his eyes staring at me in pity, "I said let go of me! Let me fucking go! Now!" He flinched but still kept his grip. I let out an annoyed yell and he finally let me go. I pushed past him, but he only grabbed my hand, pulling me to him.
I don't know what game Yejun is playing, but the way his arms snaked around my waist made my heart race even more. My back touched his chest. I tried to pull away from him, but he only held me tighter and rested his chin on the crook of my neck. I couldn't control my tears. They fell on to his white uniform, but he only ignored it.
This isn't right, not when he's with Cindy, not when she loves him. I bit my bottom lip and looked down in shame. Of course he can overpower me, he's had years of Taekwondo experience while I've had almost three months.
"Min, let go of me. I'm being serious." My voice waved with every word, but I tried to stay strong. He didn't move from his spot, but when I jerked, he sighed. "Yejun, and just stay like this real quick, please." I shook my head and he raised his head. I could feel him glaring at the back of my neck. "You have Cindy, you can't do this to her."
My voice sounded so hollow, so defeated. I wiped my tears and let out a frustrated sigh. Still, they fell. "Didn't I tell you we're n-" I elbowed his chest, causing him to lose his grip. He stared at me in shock as I backed away, "Then don't bitch about Alaric and I!" I felt adrenaline pump through me as my back hit the lunch room door. I banged on it and someone opened it. "Leave me alone, Min."
I shut it behind me and found Kat in the other staircase. I made sure to wipe every last tear before facing the squad. They looked up and Aimee patted beside her. I gave her a small smile and sat next to her. "You've been so busy lately, we haven't hung out in so long. Is everything okay?" I nodded, but her face told me she didn't believe me. "I really am, I'm just a bit tired. I haven't been going to bed early since I'm trying to do college research, but thank you for your concern. I'm fine." Honestly, I felt terrible for lying through my teeth to Aimee, and even though her face softened just a bit, her eyes told me she was suspicious.
The boys were frowning at me and I rolled my eyes. "You should not even be looking at me, Mr. I Get Here Third Period." Liem rolled his eyes and held his grin, "Yeah, alright. Also, have you seen Alaric? He's been looking for you."
Alaric? Looking for me? I shook my head and he shrugged. "He said he wanted to talk to you. You should go see him." I looked over at Kat. "Be right back guys, I'm going with this bum." We walked out of the stairwell and walked into the lunch room.
"What happened with you and Master Min?" I bit my bottom lip, trying my best to suppress unneeded tears. I looked over to the Asian Mafia's table and saw Alaric talking to someone. Turning back to Kat, I began to confess. "Min has a girlfriend." Before I could continue, her face twisted into one of pure anger.
Her icy blue eyes looked away from me as she took a deep breath. I didn't want to let her know, but she's practically my twin, she has to know. "Come again?" she asked, her eyes snapping to mine. I sighed and repeated it. This time, she got up and punched the wall. I grabbed her red hand and began to massage it. "Why would you do that?" I yelled. Some heads turned to our direction and I inwardly sighed at the unneeded attention.
"I did that because my best friend deserves the best, yet there are always fuckboys ruining things. Min showed the signs, he showed them. Yet he does this. It's a damn shame. I'm so tired of guys like him. What was the point of him acting like that?! Did he purposely bring you there to introduce you to her?!" She continued ranting, but I suddenly paused. Was that his reason? Did he want to to feel something for him, only for it to be shattered? Did he do that to break my heart?
Her cheeks were red, she was blushing. He held a strong grip on her arms and I suddenly felt a little angry. She somehow slipped again and he grabbed her, then pulling her to her chest.
Did Aimee fall on purpose, or did Min loosen his grip? "Kat, remember when Aimee fell in front of Yejun?" She nodded, "Did she slip, or did he loosen his grip on her?" Her eyes went out of focus as she thought about her answer. "He loosened his grip as she got up, but that caused her to fall." I bit my bottom lip.
"Yejun is playing games." I muttered as I turned to Alaric, "Too bad he lost the lead..."
--
I yawned and stretched my arms out. I hummed along with my alarm as I did my daily routine. I knocked on Mom's door and opened it. "Morning Mom." I muttered as I kissed her cheek. She muttered something under her breath, but I only caught "ing", so I'll assume she said it back. I stared at her as her chest rose and fell.
Recently, she's been having more complications since she fractured her tailbone two years ago. It's been a little hard, but I'm hoping she will pull through. I rubbed her arm and walked out of her room, gently closing the door behind me.
--
Alaric and I walked up the stairs to the 1046 gym. "Xiao Ji is such an annoying person to partner with. Apparently, he is a black belt in Karate, so this is all easy to him. He won't stop talking shit, it's getting me so mad." He held the door open for me and I gave him a small thank you. "Why don't you say anything?" I asked. "Yeah, you try telling a cocky black belt what to do. He's just like Min, bro probably keeps it up his ass." A smile tugged at my lips as we walked into the gym.
"I see you got jokes?" He smiled and I saw Min watching us from my peripheral. I lightly punched his arm and he muttered a small 'ow'. We waited about five more minutes until everyone were finally in their gym uniform. I waved a small good bye to Alaric as I walked towards Min. I made sure we kept eye contact until I faced Min. This guy think he can tease me? He has something else coming to him.
Yejun's dark eyes glared down at me. I tried to hide my smile, but it came out. Then, I looked over at Alaric, making sure to widen it. I knew Min was irritated by the time he was setting everyone up. "Partner up." he coldly announced to the class.
I stared at my sneakers, making sure not to make eye contact with Yejun. Somehow, my eyes ended up checking him out. It was kind of hard to since he was wearing his uniform, but seeing the outline of one of his pecks through the V made my heart race a little. I want to see more. My eyes traveled a little farther up and stopped at his Adam's apple.
Now there's one thing about me. I love Adam's apples. There's just something about them that I find fascinating. The fact that Yejun's was protruding out of his neck was just really hot, it was attractive. I wanted to poke it. My eyes traveled a little far up to his smirking lips.
Smirking.
I looked at Alaric and smiled at him when I caught his eyes. From my peripherals, Min seemed to be annoyed. He clapped both targets together, startling me. "Pay attention." I looked back at him and got into fighting stance. "Do you mind if I partner u-" He cut me off, his glare etching into me. "No."
Good, take the bait. "I'm pretty sure Xiao Ji would be a great match up with you. He's a black belt in Karate." Min's lips pulled into a tight line as he dropped the targets. Everyone looked at him and he never took his eyes off of me. "Do your kicking combinations." His voice echoed off of the gym's walls. He curled his finger towards me and I followed him out of the gym and into the hallway.
His eyes looked towards the ceiling as he scanned it and then back at me. "You think you're funny?" he dryly asked, "You think trying to partner up with Alaric is doing you any good?" I folded my arms together, "I never asked."
I could tell my short response ticked him off more. His face turned a light shade of pink as he pinned me against the wall. "I see this is your favorite position." The side of his lips pulled into a smirk as he leaned in. I felt my face get hot as he put my arms above my head.
My heart was racing in my chest, my face was burning. His dark eyes scanned every detail in my face, only to stop at my lips. "I can show you more." he whispered. Yejun's body pressed against mine and I let out a small gasp. A strand of his hair fell over his face as he leaned in. "I bet you learned everything from Cindy."
And like that, the moment was gone. He rolled his eyes and sighed, pulling back. "You're really annoying, Len." Walking towards the hallway that led to the gym, he looked over his shoulder. "I expect to see you waiting for me at the end of 8th. Don't be late."
--
"So his bum ass wants you to meet with him still?" I nodded, completely irritated that he's trying to drag this on. "You know, I think he's just playing. Like give me a break, he's a teacher, I'm a student... Shit doesn't go down like that." Kat shook her head, "He wouldn't have pinned you against the wall again. This guy is into you. To be honest..." She sighed and looked away, "I asked some of the Mafia for advice. Remember Anna?" I nodded, "Well, she told me some crazy stuff. It's possible that Min's dating Cindy simply because interracial dating isn't accepted in his family. Anna, for example, is into dark chocolate. Her family isn't really fond of that. She doesn't let them know when she has a boyfriend."
That stung. A lot. "So... But... I don't want to jump to there. I'm pretty sure he met Cindy long before he met me. He definitely feels something for her, it's not like he broke up with her. They're together. They're holding hands. They're smiling. They probably kiss every day. I wouldn't be surprised if he smashed already." I paused, "I don't want to believe the color of my skin has to do with anything. Love is blind." Kat only sighed, squeezing my shoulder. "Love is blind, but ignorance is not. Maybe Min will own up to the plate one day, so don't worry."
I felt so tired. Laying my head on Kat's shoulder, I closed my eyes. "I don't see myself going. I don't want to humiliate myself anymore. One minute he's kind, the next minute he's a total ass. I just can't deal with that."
Kat and I sat in the 7th floor staircase listening to the rest of the squad below. "No Len, stop." I looked over at Kat in confusion, suddenly feeling something roll down my cheek.
Oh. A tear. Great.
I sigh and wipe it. "It's nothing." I shake my head and look down at the stairwell windows, "It's nothing I can't handle, right? It's only senior year. This will pass. Like everything." By the time I'm finished, my voice is barely inaudible. "Right?" I sob. Kat instantly embraces me as I bite my bottom lip. I sniff louder and suddenly, I begin to cry. It gets louder and I bite my bottom lip harder, not wanting my friends downstairs to hear me, even though they're on the 4th floor.
--
I walked out of the classroom as the hallways became busy with students. School's finally over. The squad and I assembled outside the main office since inside was too packed. Just as we approached the staircase, I saw Kat glare at someone behind me. I paused and everyone turned back. I sighed and kept on walking. Aimee gave me a confused look, but I only shook my head.
All of us, Min included, walked down the stairs in silence. Even though Aimee, Liem and Elias had no idea what was going on, they felt the tension. Kat kept on glaring at Min, but I knew he was paying her no mind. I knew he was looking at me the whole time. We finally reached the first floor and walked out of the building. "Chinatown?" asked Liem. They looked over at me and I shrugged, "Sure, let's walk. It feels nice." We got our phones and started walking down the block. "Len be like, it feels nice, even though it's like 60 degrees." Everyone, excluding the annoying bum, laughed and I punched Elias.
I heard an annoyed sigh behind me and tightened my fists. I wanted to lash out on him, I wanted to curse his ass out, but I only kept on walking. "Len." He finally spoke. Everyone, but me, looked back at him. With a drawn out sigh, I rolled my eyes. "You guys can go. I'll text you if anything." They nodded and left, but Kat stayed with me.
"You guys should go to Koreatown instead of Chinatown." I rolled my eyes, "Do you have money for that?" I asked. This guy must think I'm rolling in cash. He shrugged, "My treat?" I looked over at Kat and she gave me a slight nod. "Mom texted me, I have to go." Before I could protest, the sly bitch slipped away.
I'm going to get her back for this. I looked up at Min, a glare obvious on my face. "It won't be that bad. It's only one stop away on the Q." I sighed and we started walking to the train station. We swiped in and ran for the Q, almost missing it.
Five minutes later, we were walking through Koreatown. We went into a restaurant and I suddenly paused. This place looks so expensive. Min noticed my hesitation and rolled his eyes. My heart jumped when he grabbed my hand, pulling me inside. His hand was really warm, which contrasted the cold weather. "I said it's my treat, so don't back out now." I stayed silent. A lady came up to us and glanced at our conjoined hands. I wanted to pull away, but Min only held on tighter. He then started speaking in Korean to the lady.
It's hard to explain, but for some reason, his English voice sounded different than his Korean voice. He sounded more suave, more confident. I looked at him in fascination, catching his small smirk. I turned away and noticed a lot of people in the restaurant looking at us. Finally, we made it upstairs and sat down.
Yejun pulled out the menu and handed me one. The prices made me stand up, but the look Yejun gave forced me to sit down. "What do you want?" He asked. I shrugged, "Okay." Another guy came and Yejun ordered in Korean. His dark eyes turned back to me. I didn't look away this time. They held a certain glint in them as he sighed.
"I never meant to make you cry." he started, "I... Okay. I'm sorry Len." His words shocked me. He apologized? He must've noticed the shock. Clearing his throat, he drank the water that the waiter put down. I took a sip as he continued, "Come to Taekwondo? I don't have to go today, but I'm going tomorrow."
I felt like saying no. I don't want to see him and Cindy hugging and kissing. "Master Roman think you would make a great Taekwondo player as well." I rolled my eyes, "So this is about me going to your Dojang to spar for you?" Min rolled his eyes, "No offense, but you're only at yellow belt level. The minimum is orange for us." I rested my elbow on the table and stared at him, "Is that all, Min?" It was obvious he was annoyed when he banged his hand on the table. Some people went quiet as he leaned in, "Is it that hard to call me Yejun? It's simple, it's two syllables." He ran his hand through his hair and looked down at his phone. I pulled my phone out and noticed Alaric's text.
Hey, are you free next Monday?
Yeah, what's up?
Wanna hang out?
Hm, it depends. I got you tho :D
I felt a pair of eyes on me and looked up to Yejun's dark glare. "You only have that face when Alaric is around. Are you texting him?" Holy shit. How transparent am I? I have a certain facial expression around Alaric? "What's it to you, Yejun? You're dating Cindy, so stop caring about Alaric and I. I'm tired of repeating myself." He closed his eyes and looked down for a quick second, "Len. Stop annoying me and put your phone down." He carefully added, "I meant it when I said there is no love in my dojang."
"Is that so?! So why exactly did you bring me here, Yejun? Did you bring me here to rub it in my face? Congratulations, you and Cindy are boyfriend and girlfriend. Is that what you want to hear?! Why am I here, Yejun? It's obvious this isn't a date, so what do you want to rub into my fucking face?! You put your phone down, bitch."
His eyes widened at my words. Staying silent for a second, he took a deep breath. "Maybe it is a date." So I'm guessing that's all he got out of it, "I'm rubbing nothing in y-" I cut him off, ready to blow his spot, "Then what do you want from me? I'm about to get up and leave, I don't have time for your petty games. You've been playing too many games, Yejun. I'm tired of them, so spit it out."
The waiter brought our food and set the dishes down in front of us. Even though the food was steaming under my chin, I didn't peel my eyes off of him. He looked away, a small smile breaking on his face. It looked so out of place, but at the same time it fit him. "You're very interesting, Len." I rolled my eyes and got up.
Instantly, his face became serious. "At least eat." I shook my head. Even though I'm hungry and the food looks delicious, I'd rather eat at home, "Bye, Yejun." He let out a sigh and got up. He towered over me, causing me to break my neck to look up at him. I took a step back and he grabbed my wrist. "Look, just sit down. The food will get cold." I rolled my eyes and turned to leave, but he pulled my arm and I hissed.
People were staring.
"Are you serious, Yejun? Are you going to do this in public?" His dark eyes glared down at me, "Don't disrespect me in public, then." For some reason, I found this whole situation... hot. I bit my bottom lip and sat back down. He sat down across from me and picked up the chopsticks.
"Oh, I should get you a fork." he muttered. I broke chopsticks in half and started using them, mentally giving myself a high five when he stared at me in surprise. We ate in silence. The food was colorful and spicy, I loved how chewy the squid was. He finished before me and watched me eat. When I was finished, Yejun called the waiter and handed him his credit card.
After receiving it back, we walked out of the restaurant and walked to a park. I began to rub my hands together, it was extremely cold. Yejun grabbed my hand and intertwined it with his. I felt my face get hot and suddenly, the cold vanished. "Are you still cold?" He asked. I shrugged and heard him sigh. We slowly walked around the park.
Over the sound of traffic, I heard my heart racing in my ears. "I don't think I properly apologized to you." I looked up at him and then looked down at our hands. "Len, I truly am sorry for what I put you through. Just know that I didn't mean to make you cry. Seeing you cry really hurt me, and I'm sorry for being the one to do that to you." He slowly came to a halt and pulled me towards him. "Say something." Yejun whispered, "Say anything, just talk so I can hear your voice." He rested my forehead on his chest, surprising me with how fast his heart was beating.
I made him feel that way?
His masculine cologne filled my nostrils. I have no idea where it's from, but it smelled amazing. It suited him. "What do you want from me?" I asked. I felt his hesitation. "Why are you doing this, Yejun? That's all I've been wanting a response for, but you always avoid the question. So answer me. What are your motives?"
He sighed and I felt his hand touch my curls. After about ten seconds, he started. "I... I'm only with Cindy because I'm pretty much alone in this country. She's kind, but I don't feel anything towards her. If anything, she's more like a sister to me, and it hurts to admit because I feel bad. I feel like I've led her on for the past five months."
Five months.
He paused and continued, "I assume it's the same when you're with Alaric?" His question caught me off guard. I stepped back from him and looked to the side. "My situation with Alaric is complicated." I knew he wanted to hear more, but that's all I said, and I knew he was becoming annoyed. "So what about you and Cindy now?" He stepped away from me, his dark eyes looking elsewhere. "What about us?"
That was it. There it was, that. That was the last thing he said before I pulled away. I felt the tears well in my eyes but pinched my nose bridge and looked up because Buzzfeed said that helps to stop tears. "Wait!" I heard him call, but I only kept on walking faster. I didn't even realize I was running until the trees around me blurred. I accidentally bumped into three people, making sure to apologize. I heard Yejun's footsteps behind me but kept on going. Finally, he caught me and grabbed my wrist.
I let out an anguished yell and turned back, socking him in his jaw. He staggered back, a look of shock etched on his face. Slowly, his fingers caressed his jaw, his shock quickly replacing with anger. Turning on my heel, I walked away.
Fuck, my hand hurts.