re·kin·dle :
"venus has flooded me, second planet from the sun. I wake up on her foamy shore,
she wants to take me to meet my children. I've done this before but i'm still nervous"
_ _ _
"Are you really there?" Tayla whispered to her stomach, her hands hovering over it. She couldn't phantom the thought of being pregnant just... naturally like that but like Chris said, this could be their miracle baby.
She was hesitant on getting a pregnancy test. Afraid everyone's hopes might be up again and then disappointed when it came back negative. But she was trying her hardest to muster up any confidence and go for it.
She was opposed to having another baby. In fact, before she found out she had issues with making one, she always dreamed of having a big family since not having one growing up and being the only child. Four kids at the most but realistically, probably not. So deep down inside, she did want her only daughter to have a sibling.
"If you are there...you better be a girl and look like me. I can't take another Chris Brown lookalike," She whispered making herself chuckle.
"Who you talking to?" Chris asked walking into her office with a bag of food from her favorite cafe. Her eyes brightened at the sight, feeling her stomach growl. He placed the food down on her desk and started unloading the bag.
"Nobody...just thinking about how busy I am." She lied, "What you get me?"
"I got your favorite avocado BLT sandwich with a side of fries plus a lemonade to wash it all down." Her mouth started watering just imagining taking her first bite. Tayla thanked him and grabbed her food moving all her paperwork to the side.
Her eyes flickered to his food as a frown made it's way on her face.
"Wait, what you get?"
"A burger." Chris snickered taking a seat in the chair in front of her desk. "You not about to start this stealing my food shit, bro."
"But it looks good," She pouted staring at his food making him laugh.
"I'm not sharing, Tay, so drop it."
"Fake," She mumbled making Chris snort and take a bite of his burger. Tayla popped a french fry in her mouth almost moaning at the taste of the potato and salt mixture followed by a crunch. Chris snickered at her reaction knowing how much she liked food especially something she always gets.
They decided on spending lunch together today to talk business since Tayla wasn't in the office at the label but that was really Chris's excuse, he just wanted to see her and Tayla didn't mind.
"Did you see Symphani out there on your way up?"
"Nah," He sighed and not that he was looking for her either. "Why? You need her for something?"
"Not necessarily. We just haven't been hanging out or talking since I told her about you and I working together and stuff. I'm just ready to squash this one sided beef between y'all... it's tiring and I don't need it."
"Well, make sure to put your friend in her place. I'm so over the attitude with her over and over, shit been going on for a whole decade," Chris spoke frustrated. Tayla nodded sighing.
"I know and I'm sorry. I will especially since she was holding a grudge for no reason now." He hummed and Tayla picked up her sandwich taking a bite of it. "Mm, I should've asked you get some pickles for me."
Chris paused his actions and looked at her with a blank expression on his face causing Tayla to laugh out loud.
"What?"
"Tay... you don't even like fucking pickles."
"Pickles are so good,"
"Who speaking? You or the baby?" He asked genuinely making her stare at him blankly. "Shit, I'm just saying. I known you for years like the back of my hand and I know you hate pickles. The texture and the taste but now all of the sudden you wishing I got you some? I'm buying you a test,"
"No. You're wasting your money,"
"I'm buying you every brand there is. Baby, you just gone have to accept this and let it happen. I know it feels weird to you but once we get confirmation and shit that there actually is a growing human right now, reality finna hit."
"What if something goes wrong?" She bit her lip thinking about all the what ifs that could take place if they don't be cautious. Her doctor already explained all the bad things that could happen when she was pregnant with their first.
Having a stillborn, miscarriage, the baby coming out not so healthy, Tayla dying while giving birth - a lot was at play with them having kids.
"Don't stress and I'ma make sure you don't. No work, no drama, just bed rest and all."
"You know I can't go on bed rest. I hated it with Ayla."
"I understand but I'm not risking you or our future unborns life. Sorry," He shrugged. He'd rather have her relaxing for nine months than up stressing herself out over work. He had the money to make sure they'll never worry about shit and she knew that.
In fact, he didn't have to work if she turned out to be pregnant. He'd go on leave himself just to be by her and who was going to stop him?
He was the boss.
Tayla sighed grabbed another fry, eating it. "You busy tonight?"
"Why? You trying to hit me up for a booty call?" He smirked.
"Akikiki. No, I'm taking her to go see her great grandparents and wanted to know if you wanted to join. You know my grandfather loves you,"
"Even after?" He asked raising an eyebrow. Tayla's grandfather used to be a gang member and he definitely knew how to shoot a gun so Chris was a little scared. Especially since he was very protective of Tayla considering her father wasn't present her whole life.
"They always ask about you. I've been teaching people to put they feelings to the side when it comes to you and our business."
"Appreciate it. But nah, I don't have anything to do. I was just going to go home, eat dinner, call my daughter and tell her goodnight, and then maybe hit up this bad ass bitch I know to see if she want me to slide." Tayla raised her eyebrow and looked up at him seeing him in staring at nothing in particular.
"Oh really?"
"Yeah. But she got this five year old daughter and shit and I don't wanna wake her up," Tayla sucked her teeth and tossed a pen at him making him laugh. "I'm fucking with you but yeah, I'll come if I'm welcomed. I don't have plans tonight and in fact, I wanted to spend the night with y'all anyways."
"Aww," She cooed making him chuckle.
"It's a date then."
_
Chris let out a breath as he grabbed his jacket placing over Ayla's head as he hurried up and carried her to the door with Tayla trying to avoid the rain. Diana opened the door and immediately ushered them.
"Oh, if I knew it was going to rain, I would've told y'all to come tomorrow." She gave them an apologetic look as Chris set his daughter down on the couch.
"It's fine. It started on our way here but it might stop." Tayla answered causing her grandmother to nod. Diana looked at Chris and couldn't help herself from giving him a hug.
"Oh, Christopher. How are you?"
"I've been good. I see you getting younger and younger every time," He smiled making her giggle and Tayla frown.
"Oh hush. Let me go get Clint-"
"It's fine, I'll get him. Where is he?" Chris asked a bit excited to see Tayla's grandfather.
Everybody loved him still. He was genuinely a good man and a good husband, just had a few mistakes in his life.
"In the garage. Working on that damn truck." Tayla scrunched her face and looked at Diana taking a seat on the couch. Chris chuckled and walked to the garage, leaving the girls behind.
"Still?"
"Still, chile. I don't know how many times I gotta tell him to just let it go," Diana shook her head and took the open seat next to Tayla. "I see that one is knocked out. I was looking forward to her," She pointed to the sleeping five year old on the couch making Tayla snicker.
"She fell asleep in the car. I would've woken her but Chris stopped me, I thought she'd be up by now though."
"Oh, let her sleep. She's probably tired as can be."
"Yeah, she's a busy five year old." She smiled staring at her daughter before sighing. "It's insane we're about to start all over again with another one."
Diana gasps slightly looking at Tayla who just sat their giggling at her grandmother. "Oh, don't play with me. You're pregnant?!"
"Well, he thinks so and so does my mother and his. I just have yet to take the test yet, I'm very hesitant right now."
"When's the last time you had your period?" Tayla got quiet and genuinely sat and thought about it until she realized the last time she was on her cycle was the week prior to her birthday which was now two months ago. "You don't even remember. Girl, if you don't take the test,"
"I am....just when I want to."
"Well, do it soon and trust me. The man always knows too. They can feel it," Tayla hummed and looked down at her fingers playing with them.
Her nerves taking over, she was trying her hardest to not but she couldn't help it. The thought of having to pee on a stick, it coming back positive, going to her OB, and starting the entire pregnancy process over again just seemed too much.
It was too much the first time and now it seemed harder. But she had a good support system behind that she frequently forgot about.
"So, you two are back together?"
"Working on it, I guess."
"Well, that's good. A man actually taking accountability and wanting to make it work with his family. Reminds me of Clint and I." Diana smiled. "You deserve it though. I'm sure he's been proving himself to you, letting you know how much he's grown since,"
"He has...I won't even lie. He's been making the dance recitals, picking her up from school, checking on me, cooking for me, making sure I'm well rested, being my best friend- just being a husband again, I guess." Tayla smiled slightly thinking about Chris. Diana grinned loving seeing her grandchild happy again.
"I admire he's still the love of your life."
"Always," She smiled at the same time Chris entered back into the living room with Clint behind him. Clint walked over to Tayla and gave her a hug, kissing her forehead before going over to a sleeping Ayla and patting hers.
"Now when he said she was knocked out, I didn't know literally. I've never heard a five year old snore like that," Clint joked causing Diana to hit his arm chuckling. "Well, y'all might as well stay the night."
"Oh no, it's okay. We don't wanna-"
"It's pouring like hell outside and y'all got this child. She can finish sleeping in the other kids room and you guys can get settled into the guest room," Diana insisted making Tayla sigh knowing she was not going to win against her grandparents and the rain.
Might as well let it happen,
_
Chris entered the bedroom and closed the door behind him. The rain pouring down outside tapping against the window creating a relaxing ambience. Tayla's back was resting against the headboard as her eyes was focused on the window watching the rain drops fell. A chuckle left Chris's lips as he walked closer to the bed standing at the end of it catching her attention.
"What's on yo' mind?"
"Reminiscing about the time we was here and got stuck in the storm." She smirked making him snort having a flashback as well.
"We had a time that night," He said making her laugh and toss a pillow at him. "Nah, that was fun and they definitely heard us too. You can't stay quiet for shit,"
"Shut up. I tried,"
"Not hard enough,"
"Well, you're to blame." She rolled her eyes playfully causing him to nod. Chris sighed and slid his shirt over his head, exposing his many tattoos to her letting her enjoy the view. Licking his lips, he leaned down on the bed and crawled in between her legs allowing her legs to spread and rest at his sides bringing his face to hers.
Tayla smiled and placed her hands on his shoulders and letting them run up and down his back.
They found themselves like this lately. Intertwine in each other, enjoying each others company.
"So, I'm still the love of your life, huh?" He smirked asking her making her suck her teeth and push him away causing Chris to laugh.
"I know you wasn't eavesdropping on us,"
"I wasn't." He laughed out loud before remembering everyone else in the house was sleep besides them and lowering his volume. "We heard y'all while coming back in. I liked what I heard and shit. Got a nigga feeling special."
"Whatever. You are special," She joked making him smirk.
Chris hovered over her admiring her beauty. Tayla was one of the most beautiful soul he's ever came across. Her spirit, aura, face, body - everything about her, he just adored. And the fact that she blessed him with their daughter made him love her a million times more.
"What?"
"...Marry me again," He spoke, his voice coming like a whisper. Tayla felt her breath catch itself in her throat.
"I-What?"
"Marry me. Let's do this shit over again, whatever you want,"
"Chris-"
"Tay...we here now, baby. I'll probably never find real peace again unless you have my last name attached to your first again." He said and she sighed sitting up making him sit up as well.
"It's not that easy," She said and he sighed, "We still have to do therapy or whatever it is you want us to do, we still don't know if we're expecting a second child, hell - I don't even know if I fully trust you again, Chris."
"Okay, so we'll work on all that while we get re-engaged." He pleaded looking at her, he took in her face expression, leaning back. "Unless, you don't want to-"
"I do! But we got so much shit to do and work on to make our marriage work again. I want to be cautious and know we're on the same page when it comes to us and our communication with each other. It's a process and I don't want us to jump right back into it still unresolved." She told him making him nod understanding where she was coming from.
Tayla sighed as the room grew quiet and surprisingly, there wasn't any tension attached to it. They just sat there letting everything flood their minds.
"You know I love you right? Like deeply." He spoke not looking at her but she could feel the genuineness in his voice.
"I love you more." She answered.
It's been months since they shared the L word with each other.
The sound of thunder outside vibrated the house at the same time a little knock was heard against the door.
Chris let out a breath and stood up walking over to it. "I can't wait till she grow out of this scared of thunder phase."
"Leave my baby alone and let her in." Tayla responded.
He snickered and opened the door seeing a scared Ayla looking as frightened as ever.
"Can I sleep with you?" She asked immediately amd Tayla chuckled opening her arms allowing the little girl to run in the room and jump on the bed, grabbing onto her mom. Chris sighed and closed the door again, joining his girls, and getting under the covers.
"Damn, there go my plans." He spoke causing Tayla to pinch his arm.
Ayla settled in next to Tayla on her right while Chris on her left leaving Tayla in the middle knowing she'd probably never get out of it. Chris wrapped his tattooed arm around the both of them, letting Tayla's back press against his chest.
"We need a boy. Y'all can't be overruling me like this," He whispered making Tayla laugh.
"I don't know why you complaining. You know you love your girls."
"And do."