I always thought I was born to be a detective or a federal agent.
But I no longer saw myself as either.
The only reason they'd been able to convince me to become a patrol officer was because they'd told me I'd be able to persuade rookies from making my own errors.
I didn't want to be negative, I didn't want to be that training officer everyone hated. But I knew I would be.
My psychiatrist always said "no one will question why you'd go from detective to patrol officer".
I call absolute bullshit.
If that was the case, I wouldn't be walking into the Los Angeles Police Department with hundreds of eyes wondering why I'm here.
I wonder if they knew.
No. They'd promised me no one would be aware.
I walk to the reception desk, forcing a smile to my ghostly coloured lips. I didn't feel well. Not because I was sick or eaten something bad, but I felt more anxious than I think I may of ever felt in my life.
"Officer Hale reporting for duty. Where do I need to go?" I enquire, I'd worked here before. But not for at least five years. I wanted to ensure my sense of direction was still intact.
The receptionist looks up, blonde ponytail falling perfectly to her back. She smiled at me before continuing,
"Morning. Head down that way, take a left then a right." She instructed. I smiled and thanked her before I continued on my way.
"Hale?" I hear a voice enquire.
Oh, how I hated that the voice sounded familiar.
I turned my head to face the direction of the voice, eyes heavy as I couldn't be bothered with a lengthy conversation of how sad my life was.
"Bishop." I confirmed.
I knew Bishop wanted to be a detective for the power grab, but I wondered if she'd live to regret that the way I did.
I already knew she was mentally cursing me for giving up detective work. It probably seemed so ungrateful to someone whose been trying to hard to gain a spot.
"What are you doing back here? You on a case?" She asked.
I shook my head, "I'm meet your new coworker." I told her.
I watched as her eyes bulged out of her head almost, she was shocked. She clearly had zero clue I had quit detective work. I found that partially shocking.
Bishop attempted to gather her words for a moment, "you're a patrol officer again?" She asked.
"Yes." I confirm. "Sorry, but I need to keep moving." I lie, wanting to get anyway from this conversation about detective work.
I continue down the hallway, finding myself in a room where I find I must be late. Because the watch commander eyes me for a second, before his gaze becomes almost forgiving.
"Well, her first impression may not be ideal but everyone welcome back Officer Hale." Grey announces, giving me a small nod. He knew.
They'd told him.
I offered a weak smile to Grey as he gestured for me to take a seat. I see the only seat left is next to an officer I'd almost forgotten about.
Tim Bradford.
Bradford and I had graduated the academy together, trained through from rookie to senior officer together. Before I left to become a detective.
I hadn't forgotten about him, I'd just failed to stay in contact. It was ultimately my fault, but I avoided eye contact with him as I took a seat. I knew he was eyeballing the side of my head.
If anyone knew how dedicated I was to becoming a detective, it was Bradford.
"With Officer Hale still getting back into the swing of things..." Grey trailed off for a moment, "for the meantime Chen, you'll have a temporary change in T.O. whilst Bradford catches Hale up." Grey informed.
I internally signed. He'd ask questions, I was sure.
Actually. I did wonder how his wife was. She too become a detective, but in a different unit to me. I transferred to New York. She stayed.
"Guess you're my boot." Bradford commented, I guess it was in an attempt to break the silence as we exited the room.
I nodded. I didn't bother arguing, I may of had more experience in the higher ranks but I felt powerless after leaving my department and my old job.
Bradford's eyebrows furrowed as he stared down at me with a complexed gaze.
"No 'we trained together'? No 'I'm a detect-" Tim begin to spurt out before I cut him off.
"I was a detective. Past tense." I reminded.
Tim was the one to just nod this time, clearly knowing better then to push for answers.
I collected our gear and loaded up the shop. Bradford didn't ask questions, just analysed the gear and ensured it was all correct. The silence was uncomfortable, but I didn't know how to break it.
Bradford demanded he was driving, and that was fine by me. I sat in the passenger seat, pulling my seatbelt across to plug it in.
"How's Isabel?" I enquire.
I watch as he physically tenses. Clearly something has happened over the time I'd been away. I always thought they'd be happy forever.
"She quit her detective job." Was all Bradford had to tell me.
I nodded, feeling no need to pressure him for answers.
The shop now become silent. This one was partially peaceful though, neither of us wanted to talk. Despite the questions we both had.
As we passed a quiet alleyway, I spotted in the corner of my eye a restaurant that had been closed. Yet there was a car parked out the back of it.
Not wanting to alert the possible robbers, I kept my head straight ahead as we were stuck in traffic.
"Bradford, look into that alleyway. Possible robbery in progress you reckon?" I enquired, clearly doubting my own ability to spot a situation.
Bradford nodded, not indicating an answer with anything other than that. He flicked the sirens on in the shop, speeding towards the back of the restaurant.
I felt that familiar sense of adrenaline rush through my veins. Although nowadays it was matched with an anxious feeling. I was no longer the fearless patrol officer they had a few years ago.
We both exited the shop, seeing no sight of the robbers nearby. As we entered the restaurant, guns held tightly; a man brandishing a knife at the counter caught my eye.
Immediately I called it in, "requesting back up to the pizzeria on iris avenue. 10-17 in progress." I spoke quietly into the radio. Realising now that both Bradford and I should've radioed it in before we even stepped out of the car.
I assessed the situation from the spot we'd taken cover. Just in the cloak room of the restaurant, one of the staff members was shaking as he stared at Bradford and I. Begging us to help him.
"Stay here until backup arrives." Bradford told me. But that shocked me. He had never been one to play it safe from what I'd remembered.
I shook my head at him, stepping out from the spot we'd taken cover. The robber meeting my eye. He was nervous. His eyes darted back and fourth, grip tightening on his knife.
"Sir. We don't want anyone to get hurt here. Please, put the knife down and we can talk about what's going on." I attempted to negotiate, my weapon still held in my hands.
The robber was clearly distressed. His eyes once again started back and fourth for a moment, before he yelled; "I've got nothing left to lose!"
I remained keen on de-escalating the situation rather than injuring the man. "I understand that you might be going through a tough time. But hurting somebody isn't the solution. Please, let us help you." I insisted empathetically.
I noticed more police units had arrived, as I saw their shop pull up out the front. I wanted to understand the man's motives so I could attempt to furthermore talk him down.
"What led you to this point? I'm sure there are people out there who care about you. We can find a way out of this together." I insisted.
I watched as the man's eyes welled up with tears as he slowly stared to lower the knife. As I begin to seize this opportunity, Bradford remained in a position to cover me if things went south.
I tried my hardest to maintain a calm demeanour, "that's it. Just out the knife down. We only want to help you, not hurt you." I continued to reassure.
As his hands trembled, the robber relinquished the weapon, which allowed me to swiftly apprehend him. The other officers on scene secured the area and provided assistance to the scared restaurant worker.
Both Bradford and I ensured the suspect received necessary medical and psychological care. I took the time to speak with the restaurant manager, offering my support and reassurance.
Later on in the evening. I could sense Bradford was upset with me. We were on a double shift, which meant we didn't finish until the early hours of the night.
The dim glow of the dashboard lights allowed me to see that Bradford was tightly gripping the steering wheel of the vehicle, I then glanced at the rear of his face. Seeing his jaw was clenched with frustration.
I now realised I had my arms folded against my chest, eyes narrowed at him in irritation. We were basically meant to be partners right now. But we couldn't get along because of one simple thing; secrets.
"What you did back there, Hale, was reckless." Bradford suddenly seethed at me. His voice was lost but laced with anger. "We cannot afford to take unnecessary risks in this job. Lives are at stake." He continued.
I shot back at him, my tone described as sharp, "spare me the lecture, Bradford. I know exactly what I'm doing. You just don't get it. Sometimes, you have to trust your instincts. Even if it means going off the book."
I watched as the grip he had on the wheel tightened even more. "Instincts?" He scoffed. "This is not some action movie, Hale. We're supposed to work together, not go rogue whenever you feel like it." He continued.
Maybe I should of informed him of my plan to talk down the robber before I did it, especially after he'd told me to wait. But I wasn't his boot.
I scoffed, "Bradford, loosen up. Because maybe if you did, you'd see we could get things done faster. Criminals don't wait for us to follow protocol." I pointed out.
Bradford shook his head, "there's protocols for a reason." He retorted, raising his voice slightly. "They keep us safe, they keep the public safe. If you continue to act impulsively, someone could get hurt. And guess what? That's on you."
The shop suddenly fell into a tense silence. I didn't have the words to reply. The only sound present was the distant hum of the city outside and the shop running. I looked out the window, feeling conflicted.
"I'm not saying I don't value the rules, Bradford." I begin, catching his attention. "But sometimes in the heat of the moment, I feel like you have to adapt. You have to be flexible." I told him.
Bradford let out a sign, anger dissipating into a weariness. "I do understand, Hale. I really do." He sympathised. "But at the end of the day, we're a team at the moment. We need to trust each other, follow the procedures. It's not about me being inflexible. It's about being responsible." He told me.
I truly did understand what he was saying, as I met his gaze in the far. My shoulder slumped. "I know," I spoke quietly. "I just... I don't want to see anyone get hurt either. Sometimes, I just think acting fast is the only way to prevent someone from getting hurt." I explained my thought.
"Like if we had of waited for backup, that robber could of stabbed the innocent man working the bar." I explained furthermore.
I watched as Bradford furthermore softened, his stern expression giving way to become understanding. "I don't want that either, Hale. We both want the same thing - to keep people safe. Let's find a middle ground. We can be efficient without compromising our training or our protocols." He told me.
I nodded, a flicker of a smile crossing my lips. "Agreed. We'll find a balance. But you have to promise me, Bradford, that you'll sometimes trust my instincts, too." I asked of him.
He nodded back. "Deal. We will watch each others backs no matter what." He told me.
With a newfound understanding reached, we resumed our patrol. The tension in the car felt as though it was replaced by a sense of unity.
Despite the differences we shared, we both knew that our partnership had to be built upon mutual respect and a shared commitment to the job.