𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖔𝖕𝖊𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖆𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖘 𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖊
♡
"okay, i'm gonna go pee," punz announces, getting up with a stretch before pulling down the hem of his shirt from where it had risen with the movement. he seems a little wobbly already which amuses sapnap, since the blond has only had a few pre-drink shots.
punz makes his way out of the room, leaving sapnap and karl alone, and the ravenette checks the time on his phone. "we should probably leave now," he comments, getting up from where he was lying in the bed. karl glances up from the desk chair across the room, then looks down again as he presumably checks the time himself.
"alright, hold on," karl replies, getting up and heading over to his pile of stuff, "let me just change my shirt."
sapnap nods, sitting back and watching as karl pulls off his hoodie. the brunette has replaced the white bandages that had been tied up his arms and now wears skin-tone wrist sleeves. they cover most of his cuts, especially the recent ones, which is good, but he has a few scattered scars that creep up from under the bandage sleeves and reach his upper arms.
he watches as karl grabs a baby blue shirt out of his bag and pulls it on over his bare torso before making his way up the buttons of his shirt. "do you want to borrow one of my hoodies?" sapnap offers, because the thought of karl dressed in his clothes at the party makes him feel all good and grounded on the inside.
karl glances back with furrowed brows, seeming to pass the idea over in his mind. "won't i be hot?" he asks, turning to face sapnap as he finishes the last button and drops his hands to his side.
"i mean, you might," sapnap shrugs, standing up from his bed, "if you are we can always just go sit outside for a bit though. i just didn't think you'd want your arms out."
karl looks down at his arms, and sapnap watches as his gaze flicks over the rows of cuts before sad eyes meet sapnap's once more. "you said i should be proud of them," he says, sounding quiet and put-aside by sapnap's suggestion.
the ravenette feels his heart drop in his stomach at the sight of karl's sadness, knowing he had been gravely misunderstood. "of course you should be proud of them," he rushes out, moving over to the brunette. he reaches out to hold him but karl steps back. "i didn't mean you should cover them, i just thought it would make you more comfortable because i know you're insecure."
"yeah, okay," the brunette sighs, his arms crossing over his stomach as if he's trying to make himself small. like he wants to hide away. "can i have a hoodie then?"
"karl, i didn't-"
"sapnap, you're wasting time we don't have," karl interrupts, turning away from the ravenette to grab his phone from the desk. he stays turned away from sapnap, opening his phone clearly just for something to do with his hands.
sapnap doesn't know if karl is meaning to make him feel bad but, intentional or not, it's working. his entire heart and soul feel like they're ripping themselves apart over the thought of upsetting karl.
"karl, you've misunderstood what i was trying to say," sapnap tries to tell his boyfriend, moving over to him again and feeling like he's begun to bleed out as karl steps away once more without even looking at him.
"can you just give me a hoodie before punz comes back, please?" karl asks, voice desperate.
it makes sapnap feel like the worst boyfriend in the world, considering the fact that karl had finally given himself a chance to feel comfortable and sapnap found a way to tear that away from him. the ravenette has always strived to be a safe place for his boyfriend, the kind of person he can always turn to and feel at home with, but he's just disrupted that.
sapnap wants to try and backpedal further, but he knows there's no use and, in this moment, he needs to prioritise fulfilling karl's wishes. he can only imagine how much worse the brunette would feel if punz came back when his cuts were still out.
he plucks the first hoodie that he sees from his closet and passes it to his boyfriend, feeling almost sick to his stomach as he watches the brunette hide himself away, becoming swallowed in the thick material. a sight that he had originally thought would make his heart warm has found a way to chill him over.
"karl-"
"it's fine," the brunette interrupts. he turns to sapnap with a small, obnoxiously forced smile, and sapnap can't even pretend to reciprocate the expression. he feels 10 feet underwater, washed over with an uncomforting coldness that sinks through him. "we should head off."
sapnap feels like the distance between them is multiplying a million times over as karl steps out of the room but he has no idea how he can help as he groans internally, grabbing his own phone and his car keys before following karl out. he wonders if the shots karl took made him more emotional and, in which case, should sapnap be keeping an eye on how much the brunette drinks at the party? or will that just make him a controlling boyfriend?
punz steps out of the bathroom at the same time as sapnap enters the hallway and the blond looks over at them with a grin. "we going?"
"yeah," sapnap confirms. karl stays quiet as the three of them make their way downstairs and sapnap feels too guilty to try and spark up a conversation, so he just hopes that punz doesn't pick up on the odd atmosphere.
alyssa is standing downstairs, seeming as if she just paused while travelling from one room to another to check her phone, which she is now laughing down at.
sapnap smiles at his sister's joy and, teasingly, asks, "you messaging a boy?"
the blond girl glances over at the question, an unimpressed expression falling over her features, and doesn't even waste breath on a response as she looks back at her phone and makes her way through to the kitchen.
sapnap tries to brush off the awkward encounter but it's difficult when he's already feeling tense from the minor moment he had with karl. he doesn't want to let it get to him, because they've never really argued before and he's not even sure if that was an argument but he still feels like shit about it.
the trio make their way out to the car and, like usual, karl climbs right into the back. sapnap has a two-door car and it's an unspoken rule that, when punz is there, he always sits in the front. the rule came to light partly because punz always complains about having no room when he's in the back, but also because he opened up to sapnap about feeling like he's trapped when he is shut off in the back, as if he can't escape in an accident.
as soon as they're in the car, punz is distracted by his phone. sapnap doesn't know what has him so enthralled but he's typing away at the speed of light, smiling down at his phone as if the sun is emanating from his screen. sapnap thinks that, plus the fact that he is a little tipsy, is what is keeping punz distracted from the disgustingly tense atmosphere that sapnap feels like he is suffocating in.
the silence is so loud right until he pulls up by dream's house when punz immediately perks up, seeming to rush to get out of the car. "i'm gonna go pee," he says before turning and leaving without anything more, still face down in his phone.
sapnap furrows his brows at his best friend's behaviour but doesn't bother thinking too hard about it. he has bigger things to worry about. speaking of which, sapnap looks over as karl pushes the passenger's seat forward so he can climb out of the car. the ravenette leaves him to get out without confrontation, also getting out of the car and heading around to shut karl's door for him once he is out. he locks the car after them.
"can we talk?" sapnap asks, wanting to fix the problem he caused early on instead of letting their relationship fester in the mistake.
karl glances off towards the house, acting like he hadn't even heard sapnap as he says, "i'm going to find george."
and sapnap doesn't even have a chance to try again before karl is walking away and leaving him standing in the front garden feeling like an absolute idiot. sapnap can feel guilt gnawing away at his stomach and he's glad that he is sleeping at dream's because he absolutely needs some alcohol in his system to help wash away the self-deprecating thoughts that are clawing at his mind.
with that idea in his head, sapnap walks into the house and immediately makes his way into the kitchen. his first blessing of the day is seeing dream standing by the counter, poking through the mess of drinks and cups with a half-focused expression pulling at his features.
"dream!"
the blond looks back, expression brightening when his eyes find sapnap, and he opens his arms to pull the ravenette in for a quick bro-hug. "hi, i'm trying to pick a drink."
sapnap shifts to stand beside him, also looking over the drinks before them. "how did you get so much so last-minute?" he asks, picking up a bottle of clear alcohol and turning it over to read the name.
"people bought stuff with them, me and george only got a few bottles of vodka," dream answers. sapnap passes the bottle to dream with a questioning expression and the blond nods, reaching out to get them both a cup. "you're sleeping over, right?"
"yeah," he answers, watching as dream pours them both far more than a general serving of the strong spirit into the bottom of a glass. "i guess late parties is a pro of your parents being," he waves his hand, "you know. gone."
"yeah," dream laughs, recapping the drink and looking across the counter for a mixer. "they'd have a heart attack if they knew i was doing this."
"did punz ever tell you why he wanted you to throw a party in the first place?" sapnap wonders. he reaches for a can of cola when dream gets himself lemonade, not wanting the same mixer.
dream shakes his head, a thoughtful expression painting his features. "where is punz?" dream asks, looking around as if the blond would be hiding around a corner or something.
"i'm not sure," sapnap answers, feeling a little ridiculous as he also instinctively glances around. "he ran off when we got here."
dream hums, loud and thoughtful. there's something like suspicion in the sound that catches sapnap's attention, pulling him in and leaving him wondering what it might mean.
"why did you hum like that?" he asks simply, pouring his cola in with the rest of his drink.
"oh, no reason," dream dismisses, picking up his own cup with a squint, "just thinking."
sapnap nods, feeling a yawn crawl up his throat as he takes his own drink. "i'm so tired, i'm gonna have to do some shots to wake me up."
♡
and the story begins *evil giggle*
sending so much love to everyone today <3
-kit