"Love is rarely a choice."
― Jessica Khoury
∞
Chapter 16
I did another mistake, again.
I bit my lip to rein in my tears as I remembered the happy face of my sister on the altar. I remember the hopeful face of my son, who wished to meet his father. God, I'm really sorry.
Kahit anong pilit ko, marupok ako pagdating sa lalaking iniibig ko. No matter how hard I tried to resist, I just can't. This forbidden pleasure is too much to bear. Kahit pala tumakbo ako palayo at hindi magpakita ng ilang taon, babalik at babalik pa rin talaga ako sa kanya.
Naputol ang pagmomonologo ko nang maramdaman kong sinuot na niyang muli sa 'kin ang aking underware at pants. He zipped my zipper and closed my fly. He then looked at me with a contented expression on his face. His lips formed a smirk as he helped me get up from lying on his table.
Sinalubong niya ako ng marubrob na halik at naunang lumayo. He caressed my cheeks as his smirk widen. Nilagay niya sa likod ng tenga ko ang mga takas kong buhok at hinalikan ang aking tenga.
"I own you now, Alexis," he whisperd.
"This is wrong..." but why does it feel so right?
Having him near me, kissing me, doing something that only lovers do, seemed to feel so right. Tutol na tutol ang isipan ko sa mga naging pasya ng katawan at puso ko. But I can't do anything. Just like I said, my body will always betray me. And it's making me frustrated!
"No," he murmured and lifted my chin using his forefinger and thumb to catch my eyes. "It's not."
"You're married," mahinang usal ko.
"Yeah?" He set his jaw.
I felt hopeless. "I don't want to be your mistress."
His smirk was gone in an instant. Bumaba ang ulo nito sa bandang leeg ko. I gasped as I felt him suck the most sensitive part of my neck. He whispered, "The moment you let me penetrate you, you're already my mistress. The moment you cum on my mouth, I already own you. I hope you're aware of that, darling."
Parang tinakasan ako ng sarili kong boses. And all I could do is to show him how tired I am using my facial expression, but he just didn't mind it. Instead, he showed me his victorious smirk and kissed my lips once again.
Somebody knocked on the door. Marahil ay wala akong lakas na itulak siya, hinawakan ko nalang ang kanyang balikat at bahagyang pinisil.
"Sir Ice, Mrs. Isia is on line 7, would you like to take the call?" sambit ni Ms. Gallego mula sa labas ng pinto.
He groaned lowly and distanced himself from me a little before answering his secretary, "Tell her to call through my phone."
"Yes, sir," she replied.
Muli na namang sinubsob ni Kaius ang kanyang mukha sa aking leeg at ang mga braso niya ay mas hinapit ako palapit. My arms involuntarily encircled around his neck and my left hand played his hair.
"I need to go home," I said in a very low voice.
Humigpit ang kapit nito sa aking bewang at mas siniksik ang kanyang mukha sa'king leeg. "No, you'll stay."
Aangal pa sana ako nang tumunog ang phone niya. Walang hirap niya itong inabot at sinagot ang tawag.
"Hello, mom?" He started planting small kisses on my neck. "I'm in Manila."
I bit my lip the moment he sucked my neck. He's making some kissmarks again!
"Yeah," he lazily replied and continued sucking a skin on my neck without making a sound. "I'll hang up."
Nang matapos ang kanilang usapan ay doon lamang ako nagkaroon ng lakas upang itulak siya at bumaba sa kanyang mesa. My knees trembled the moment my feet landed on the floor. Maagap naman ang mga braso nitong hinapit ang bewang ko upang mapanatili ako sa balanse.
"Where are you going?"
Lumunok ako at bahagyan siyang tinulak. Inabot ko ang selpon kong nahulog sa sahig at mahinang nagpasalamat dahil hindi ito nabasag o nag-shut down. Tinignan ko ang oras at nakagat ang aking ibabang labi nang makitang alas siete na pala. This hour is supposed to be our face time. My Kai.
"Uuwi na ako," I said before making my way towards the sofa, where I placed my bag.
Ramdam ko ang lagkit sa pagitan ng aking hita na ikinangingiwi ko sa tuwing humahakbang ako. I need to take a shower.
"Aalis na ako," I said.
Napasinghap ako nang may mga brasong pumulupot sa bewang ko at may mainit na hiningang dumampi sa batok ko. "I'll take you home.
"As my property, I need to secure your safety," he said.
Napahigpit ang kapit ko sa aking dalang sling bag. "I'm not an object to be your property, Kaius."
"Really?" Kumalas ang braso nito sa aking bewang at hinawakan niya ang aking magkabilang balikat. He turned me to face him and held my chin up to look at him. "You're mine."
"You're insane," balik sagot ko.
He chuckled. "Am I?"
Mataman ko itong tinignan sa mata sa kabila ng malakas na pagkabog ng aking dibdib. "Yes, you are."
--
Nakatitig lamang ako sa buong siyudad mula rito sa itaas kung saan nakatirik ang condo na tinutuluyan ko. Hawak ko sa aking kanang kamay ang isang kopita na naglalaman ng alak. The sky looks so unfriendly today. No stars can be traced with my naked eye. Even the moon doesn't show.
Wala sa sarili kong tinunga ang alak mula sa hawak kong kopita at napapikit nang gumuhit ang pait sa aking lalamunan.
Gabi-gabi na lang ba akong ganito?
Muli kong tiningala ang madilim na kalangitan at napangiti. Even the sky is showing me how I feel at the moment. Napahigpit ang kapit ko sa aking kopita at muli itong tinunga hanggang sa maubos.
Kaius took me home. Naunang umalis ang kanyang sekretarya at tanging guwardiya na lamang ang naiwan upang magbantay sa buong gusali. He's persistent. Hindi ko maiwasang tumawa nang mapakla. I'm a mistress. Kahit kailan ay hindi ko hiniling na maging ganito. Na maging kabit. Sa dinami-dami ng lalaki sa mundo, bakit ang asawa pa ng ate ko?
I heard my phone ring inside the room. Sa isiping si Kai ito ay mabilis akong nagtungo sa center table at tinignan kung sino ang tumatawag. I bit my lower lip as I saw the familiar, unknown number that was calling.
Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga bago inangat ang tawag. "Hello?"
"Can't sleep?" he asked with his croaky voice.
Naglakad ako pabalik sa terrace. "Yes."
"Can I come over?"
Fuck, you're really making me a sinner, Imperial. "No."
"I'm outside your door," tipid nitong tugon at kasunod nito ang pagtunog ng aking doorbell.
My heart leaped in nervousness. Wala sa sarili akong naglakad papuntang pinto. I stopped near the center table, placed my goblet down, and continued walking my way towards the door.
"What are you doing here in the middle of the night, Kaius?" I asked as soon as I opened the door.
He didn't reply. Instead, he entered my place and kissed my lips like a thirsty being seeking water. Siya na mismo ang nagsarado ng pinto.
"Tastes like whiskey," he murmured.
"I was drinking," I replied.
He nodded and walked inside the condo, invading my place. Dumapo ang paningin nito sa center table. Kahit madilim, I saw how his expression remained blank.
"I'll sleep here tonight," parang balewala nitong tugon at naglakad patungong silid.
Napaawang ang bibig ko at mabibilis ang mga hakbang na sinundan siya. Nadatnan ko itong humilata sa aking kama. He looked at me and tapped his side.
"Come here. Let's sleep."
"Go back to your place, Kaius." I gritted my teeth in annoyance. Ano na naman ba'ng pumasok sa kokote ng siraulong 'to?
He chuckled. "This is my place."
Well, tama siya. He owns this building anyway. Pero ako nananatili sa condo na ito kaya kahit papano ay may karapatan ako.
"You're invading my privacy," sambit ko.
Hindi ito sumagot. Sa halip ay hinila nito ang kamay ko at bumagsak ako sa ibabaw niya na ikinasinghap ko. "I don't care. You're mine anyway."
Sinubukan kong pumiglas ngunit mas hinigpitan niya ang pagkakakapit sa aking bewang. "Let me go."
He chuckled once again. "That would be the dumbest thing I'll ever do."
--
Humikab ako at tinignan si Hiro na nakakunot ang noo at nakatitig sa'kin.
"Why?" he asked.
Ugh. Ayaw niya akong tigilan sa pagtatanong tungkol kahapon. Of course, kahit sino ay magtataka kung ang tao may asawa ngunit may kinakalabit na iba. And worse, kapatid pa ng asawa niya. Nakakagago. Yeah, nakakagago ang sitwasyon ko.
"I didn't know either," I replied.
Bumuntong hininga ito. "Can I have the shots you did yesterday? May babaguhin ako sa drafts."
Tumango ako at kinalkal sa loob ng aking backpack ang DLSR ko. I immediately handed it to him as soon as I reached it. Tinanggap niya naman ito at binuksan. Pasimple kong tinakpan ang markang iniwan sa 'kin ni Kaius kahapon. Damn, you're becoming a sinful bitch, Sam.
Bumaba ang tingin ko sa ginuguhit kong bahay. I'm bored.
"Who's this?" takang tanong ni Hiro na ikinakunot ng noo ko.
"What?"
"Come over," he murmured while looking at the camera.
Tumayo naman ako at nilapitan siya. My heart suddenly beat faster than normal as I saw my son's pictures. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
"Who's this? Why does he look like him?" he asked.
Halos maubusan ako ng dugo sa pagkaputla. He saw it! He keeps switching the pictures of my son and me. Wala sa sarili kong hinablot ang camera sa pagkakahawak niya at tinago sa aking likuran.
"This is none of your business, Hiro."
Nangunot ang noo nito. "Answer me, Sam. Is that your child? Why does he look like Mr. Imperial? Why does he look like your sister's husband?" sunod-sunod nitong tanong.
Napahigpit ang kapit ko sa camera na nasa aking likuran at humugot ng malalim na hininga. "Wala ka ng kinalaman dito."
"I maybe don't, but you're making me wonder," sagot nito. "Are you his mistress?"
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at huli na nang ma-realize ko ang aking nagawa. My hand landed on his cheeks, slapping him hard. His head tilted, and he chuckled nonchalantly.
"You're guilty."
"I'm not," matigas kong tugon. "You didn't know a single bit of the story, Hiro, so don't jump to conclusions!"
"Then just tell me!" he yelled back. "Because my head is turning upside down with this revelation! I treated you as my younger sister that's why I want to know what the hell the story is. I don't want to think you'll stoop that low, so, please, Alexis. Tell me."
Nakagat ko ang aking ibabang labi at umiwas ng tingin. "Sorry."
Umiling ito at hinawakan ang magkabilang balikat ko. "This afternoon, I'm gonna take you out. We'll talk about this matter. Are we clear, Sammy?"
Napakurap-kurap ako at wala sa huwisyong tumango. I saw him smiled and kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry, too. We'll talk later."
END OF CHAPTER 16