7 years ago
Edward Phillips stood at the window, staring into the depths of the panes as if they held an important message. His study was bare, most of his things wouldn't arrive from the capital until the next day. The only furnishings were the leather armchair he spent his days in and a large mahogany desk that had been left by the previous owner, now pushed up against one wall.
He would mutter to himself or sometimes hum a soft melody as he nursed the drink in his hand, that he kept well stocked, unaware of the listening ears pressed against the closed door that led to the rest of the house.
It was the only time that I could hear his voice. He had been acting this way ever since he had declared we were moving only a week ago. It had taken some adjusting. Our old home was small, cramped between buildings in the sprawling capital of Bellevue. It had been only a single room, but it had never felt small.
Now, a full day away from Verdana, we have taken residence in a vast manor that had more rooms that I can imagine we needed. Already, a few servants had been hired to maintain the property but they were doing slow work. It was the largest house in Dast, having previously been owned by a Lord before he had died. It had stood empty, waiting for its next owners with cobwebs in the corners.
"Nori, what are you doing up here?" A hushed voice came from down the hall. Uncle Davin stepped around the corner, eyeing the closed door with disdain. The humming inside the study stopped.
"Nothing." I tiptoed away from the door. I had already memorized which creaky floorboards to avoid. Davin steered me back downstairs with a hand on my shoulder. Just as we turned the corner, I thought I heard the sound of a door opening.
"You shouldn't disturb him."
"I wasn't." I bowed my head, chin nearly touching my chest. "I was just listening."
Davin looked at me with sadness in his eyes and a sympathetic smile on his face. "Come with me."
We passed old portraits and stained rugs as we headed towards the grand staircase that led to the foyer. It was like stepping into a different house entirely. It was brighter downstairs from the light that shone through the windows in brilliant beams, the moth-eaten curtains discarded in a pile. The ceilings were free from cobwebs and the wood paneling sparkled from the soapy water buckets the servants carried with them. They dusted, swept, cleaned but not one of them dared to venture to the upper level.
Davin led me out the front door and around the back of the house where an archery target had been set up against the stone wall that surrounded the estate. He picked up a bow and held it out to me. It was made of pale wood and was almost as tall as I was. "Here."
"What am I supposed to do with it?"
"I want you to use it."
I stared slack-jawed at Daven. Despite the buzz of excitement that caused my fingers to twitch, I cast a glance around, but it was just the two of us. Surely, he must be kidding.
"No, I can't." I clasped my hand together in front of me in a lady-like fashion.
"It'll take your mind off of... everything."
I looked from the bow in my uncle's hand to the target to the house that didn't feel like home. I thought about home and the memories I was forced to leave behind when we moved, the gaping hole that had ripped open in my chest only a mere week ago that felt like it was getting bigger and bigger until it threatened to tear me in half. Swiping my sleeve across my watery eyes, I grabbed the too-large bow from Davin.
_____
The sound of a hushed argument woke me from my sleep and I forced my tired body from bed. My shoulders ached and my fingers were sore from practicing archery with Davin and I wanted nothing more than to fall back asleep under the warm covers of bed.
I draped a robe over my shoulders. I decided against the slippers at the end of my bed, trusting my bare feet more and slipped quietly out of my bedroom, ears straining.
I heard another voice, louder this time, coming from the kitchen down the hall, but it was too faint for me to distinguish any words. I lingered at the base of the stairs until I was close enough to listen.
"What are you getting at, Davin?"
My father's hushed voice echoed down the hall and it had me creeping closer until I was just out of reach from the glow of pale light coming from the kitchen. I could see only the back of Father from here, the back of his shirt was rumpled and his hair was unkempt as if he'd been sleeping.
"I'm just trying to help her."
"You call that helping?" Father took a step towards Davin, who held a bottle of amber liquid just out of reach.
"Yes. If you wouldn't shut yourself in your study at all hours, then maybe you would see that Nori is actually happy for the first time since you forced everyone here."
I drew a sharp intake of breath at hearing my name in the middle of their argument. I pulled my robe closer as I leaned forward. Father had gone silent, staring into nothing as Davin continued.
"Emma is gone and whatever the hell you're doing, isn't going to bring her back. If not for your sake, think about your daughters. They need their father. They need you."
Father ran his hand through his hair, before snatching the decanter from Davin. "You don't know what you're talking about. I have everything under control."
I didn't have time to move before Father stormed out of the kitchen. He stumbled backwards when he saw me hiding in the shadows of the hallway. His unfocused eyes widened in surprise before narrowing on me.
"Noreena? What are you doing out of bed?" Father shook his head, trying to dispel the fog that had settled there in the past week. "Nevermind. Go back to your room."
"Yes, father." My voice was only a whisper. I pressed myself against the wall as he brushed past me and went back upstairs. I backed down the hallway quickly before anyone else caught me out of bed.
I didn't sleep much that night, tossing and turning, and when I did finally wake up, I was in a haze with fatigue in my bones and dark circles under my eyes. Even though I've been sleeping in this same bed for a week, I still haven't acclimated to the dark walls or the high ceilings. It was like waking up in a stranger's house.
As I dressed for the day, my mind kept wandering back to last night. Father had been unhappy but I had never heard him raise his voice before. Although the only person I normally heard him talk to was Mother. I pushed the thought from my mind as I swallowed past the lump in my throat already forming.
The house was quiet when I stepped out of my room. It seemed like only the sun was up this early. I didn't want to bother waking any of the servants so I decided to find my own breakfast.
The cabinets were bare save for the essentials but there was a stale loaf of bread that had been left on the counter that I cut a slice of. I found a half-empty jar of jam in one of the cupboards that I tucked in the crook of my elbow. I was about to take it back to my bedroom to eat when I caught a peculiar sight out of the corner of my eye.
Edward Phillips was seated at the head of the large dining table adjacent to the kitchen, clean-shaven and square shouldered, sipping a steaming cup of tea. He held the mug with both hands, staring into the empty space in front of him. Only when he noticed me lingering in the doorway, did he move.
He cleared his throat, his bloodshot but clear blue eyes on me and gestured to the chair next to him. His clothes had been washed and pressed, free of wrinkles. I sat slowly, setting the bread and jam aside. There was a teapot set up with a second cup, and I wondered if Father had been waiting for me.
"I want to apologize for my behavior, Noreena."
I didn't know what to say so I said nothing. Instead I took care in pouring from the pot into the empty cup so I wouldn't have to see the earnestness in his face.
"It has been difficult" -he cleared his throat again- "without your mother. I thought moving here would make it easier-"
"-But it hasn't. I know." I smoothed the cream colored tablecloth that didn't have a single wrinkle in it. "I keep trying to picture her here, in the hallways, in the garden, but I can't. I think it makes it harder, no having any memories of her here."
Father reached across the table and grabbed my hands in both of his, clinging to them until I was forced to look him in the eye. His had turned red in the corners as I was sure mine had too.
"I'm sorry, Nori, that I haven't made this any easier on you or your sister. Gods, I haven't even been to see her since we've been here. I can't bring myself to."
Tears were rolling down his cheeks and it was a strange sight. I had never seen Father cry before and it tugged at the gaping hole in my chest. I scooted off of my chair and kneeled at Father's feet, clutching his hands.
"I promise to do better by you and Ayla. I want this house to feel like home for all of us. This may be a fresh start but I promise that we will not let your mother fade away."
His hand brushed against the top of my head and I looked up at him, "Does this mean you're not still angry with Davin?"