"Hssshh..", Sana hissed in pain while rubbing her forehead but her eyes were still scanning her surroundings lost in her thoughts.
It had been 24 hours, since she last saw Sidharth. He was holding her hand and standing beside her, when she was screaming in pain before the world in front of her went pitch black. When she opened her eyes, there were no traces of her innocent mistake. Neither the convict, Sidharth nor the consequence, the baby. She had her former little family, her parents back in her life. The happy family she yearned for all these eight and half long months. Everything went back to normal and back to how it was before the innocent mistake she had committed.
Or did it?
What about the agony she had been going through at present after losing her baby who she carried in her womb for those eight and half months? The same baby, who was her only hope when her parents weren't there for her. What about the feeling of betrayal which she is currently experiencing by Sidharth. Sidharth, her former best friend who promised her to take the responsibility and stand by her like he was until yesterday.
"Sana, where is your mind? Did you hurt yourself?", her mother scolded while rubbing her forehead.
"I'm fine.", Sana replied slightly pushing her mother's hand away from her. She had gone through much more than these in past few months but her mother didn't show this care. The only person who cared a little was.. Sidharth.
But he betrayed her.
"Hmmm.. get inside the car then.", Priya said. Sana now looked at her mother and nodded her head before getting inside the car. Priya got in from the other side and looked at her daughter looking outside the window.
"Sana.. put on your seatbelt.", Priya said rolling her eyes. Sana hummed and pulled the seatbelt but while she did, she was only reminded of the baby and him. Her struggle to put on the belt due to baby bump and him helping her in the past. Tears welled up in her eyes without her permission. She turned her face away to hide her tears from her mother and looked out of the window.
I am discharged from the hospital but he didn't come. Betrayer!!
Why are you feeling betrayed, Sana? If he were here now, do you think you would have gone with him even after losing your baby? The only reason to stay with him was the baby. Your father wouldn't have allowed you to keep that baby. Besides, you always told Sidharth to go away when he came to meet you.
She didn't have any answer for the question raised by her mind yet the feeling of betrayal didn't subside.
Leaning to the window pane, she got lost in her thought as the car drove towards their home.
Where was he?
....
....
....
....
A pair of shivering hands were holding a cute little teddy bear. Those hands belonged to none other than Sidharth who was staring intently at the little teddy bear. His eyes were filled with tears as he was reminded of the baby. A lifeless body of a baby, which churned his inside and gave him excruciating pain.
Flashback:
"Hold her legs, we have to pull the baby out using forceps.", The doctor commanded him to bring him out of his fear filled thoughts. He nodded his head and held Sana's legs in place while his eyes went wide to find a black patch which peeked out between her legs. After a few minutes of juggling and effort by the doctor and midwives, he saw a delicate and fragile little angel plopping out with the use of a forceps. Being born at 37 weeks, she was very tiny compared to normal babies. A small smile automatically appeared on Sidharth's lips as he instantly fell in love with the little angel.
"She is not crying..", the midwife said causing another round of panic. Sidharth shuddered in shock. His mind was torn into two thoughts. Thoughts of unconscious Sana on one hand and the little baby who took his heart at first glance on the other.
Though he had too many questions, he could utter none.
Minutes later, a few more people were added inside the labour ward. The doctors restlessly tried to resurrect the little baby, while Sidharth stood absolutely helpless and grief stricken. He folded his hand, shattered completely and surrendered himself to the good Lord he believed in.
His vision was blurred due to tears in his eyes which ultimately made its way south and ended on the floor when he blinked his lashes. Amidst the bunch of people who covered his view from looking at the baby, he heard a feeble cry of the baby. His ears stood sharp to grasp what he heard was true. Did he hear her cry? The cry which sounded like a soothing music to his aching heart and gave him goosebumps. The doctors sighed on being finally able to revive the little one.
Sidharth sighed and plopped on the chair. He hadn't realised that he had stopped breathing himself until now. The doctors took some time to examine the little one while Sidharth gazed at unconscious Sana. Her face, which was covered with sweat a few minutes back, had now dried but strands of hair still covering her face. He moved his hand hesitantly and stroked her hair backwards to uncover her tired yet an innocent face. He looked at the nurse who was now done with cleaning all the red fluid. The memories of Sana going through the labour pain wrenched his gut.
"She is a fighter..", said the doctor, who was examining the baby, bringing a proud smile on the little angel's young father's face.
"..but she still has few battles to conquer", said the doctor.
"Huh?", Sidharth's smile was wiped off completely as he looked perplexed and shocked trying to understand the doctor's word.
"We need to place her in an incubator. She is a premature baby and even undernourished. She needs intensive care.", the doctor explained to which he nodded in agreement. Did he have any other option?
The nurse asked him to accompany the baby to the neonatal intensive care unit.
"S.. Sana?", he stuttered as his mind was split into two parts one which wanted to go with baby and the other which wanted to stay with Sana who was still unconscious.
"She will be fine. Will shift her to the ward shortly.", the midwife said. He nodded glancing at Sana's unconscious face before going with the nurse to shift the baby.
"Does she have a name?", the nurse asked, who was pushing the little crib stretcher inside which the baby was asleep.
"No..", Sidharth nodded, his eyes fixated at the tiny little angel. On the crib hung a note to identify her as 'Baby of Sana Kapoor' along with her date and time of birth. He looked at her little angel's face, didn't she look like her mother, Sana. He wondered if Sana had decided on a name already.
They walked for 15 minutes until they reached the neonatal intensive care unit. After doing some initial checkup, the baby was now ready to be placed in the incubator.
"C..Can I touch her just once?", he asked with his longing hands which hadn't felt her touch.
The nurse nodded with smile. While he sanitized his hand, he noticed his palms were rough. He slight shiver ran across his whole body at the thought of hurting the delicate princess by touching her with those rough hands. But he didn't get much time to repent of his decision as the nurse placed the baby in his hands. The baby now began to cry in a feeble voice.
"Oh no no no. Please don't cry.", His eyes went wide in surprise and he pulled her closer to his heart as his fatherly instincts of protecting his child kicked in at that instant. Finding her young father's warmth, the delicate little angel stopped crying. It was a divine and indescribable moment of his life. A kind of feeling he had never experienced in his life. A sweet smile escaped his dry lips while his heart fluttered in joy.
"She is beautiful. Isn't she?", the nurse said. Her words brought him out of his trance and he nodded with a smile. The nurse then forwarded her hand signaling him to return the baby. Unwillingly, he returned the baby. At that moment, he felt as if the nurse was snatching his heart away from his chest.
"H.. how long she has to stay in the incubator?", he asked.
"I don't know.. it depends on her condition and the doctor's decision but her mom should be discharged soon and you would be able to take her home." The nurse said while placing the baby inside the incubator.
"Home?", he muttered with his eyes widened. He doesn't have a home and sleeps outside the petrol station. Where was he going to take her and the baby? He promised her to take her with him but they can't stay on streets with him. He needs to arrange a place for them for which he would need...
"Money..", he mumbled inaudible.
"Huh?", the nurse turned around and looked at him perplexed.
"Aaa....ummm..", he looked at her nervously.
"I am sorry but you can't stay here with her. You may come to see her during the visiting hours though.", the nurse suggested and he nods his head.
He gazes intently at his little daughter in the incubator and leaves with a heavy heart. Lost in his misery, he walked out of the hospital.
Things have gotten more difficult from here on. He had to arrange a shelter which was practically out of his reach. He didn't have enough money for deposit and rent. Moreover, it wasn't his motherland nor was he a legal immigrant of this country. You would need identity documents, deposit money and a month's rent in advance to get a house, which he didn't have. During his few months of stay in this unknown country, he had seen many homeless people on streets who couldn't afford to pay rent and rates. He couldn't either so does that mean they would stay on the streets with him?
"No.. I can't let this happen..", he uttered lost in his thoughts. He looked around and realised that he was talking to himself like a lunatic but nobody cares. His eyes glanced at the pay telephone. With trembling feet, he walked towards the telephone and picked up the receiver with shivering hands and dialled the number. His heart thudded against his ribcage on each ring he heard.
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To be continued..
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