You awaken in a bed far larger than you remember falling asleep in.
You reach out for him, confirming your fears.
Loki is already gone- leaving you cold, lonely and worried beyond measure. You were unsure if you were more distressed from fear of how he was going to safely remove The Casket from Asgard, or the fear of his grand gesture not being accepted in the way you both hoped in Jotunheim.
You force yourself upright in bed, slowly becoming fully aware of your somehow even larger than yesterday's- pregnant belly.
Loki is gone. Loki's illusion of you, is also gone.
You suck in a sharp breath through your nose.
Okay. I've got this. I can do this. I have to do this.
You pour every bit of concentration you can muster on your form, your brow becoming clammy with a layer of sweat as you shift into the illusion of a much more slender version of yourself.
Yes!
I've done it!
I did- You catch your reflection in the vanity mirror. While you have indeed managed to disguise your pregnant state, you're still... well, blue.
"Godsdammit!" Your frustration causes your seidr to flicker and spark out of your fingertips like static, the aquamarine surges knocking a water pitcher off of the bedside table.
"Lady Gersemi- are you quite alright in there?" Bragi's timid voice on the other side of your door cuts through the clamoring of the pitcher, pulling you back into reality.
"I'm fi- I'm... Well, I'm having a bit of a difficult time." You burst into tears; the fact that Loki is actually gone truly sinking in. You're utterly horrified by the possibility that he may not return, you're significantly pregnant, and you are dealing with more responsibility than you've ever had before.
"I... I'm coming in." An action wildly incongruous with his usual behavior, Bragi unlocks your door, and steps inside.
You resist the urge to cover your face when he enters, but cannot manage the confidence to meet his eyes.
"Oh- you've done a brilliant job concealing your shape!" He practically cheers as he shuts the door behind him. "Is it just the frost giant bit you need some help with?"
"You raise your eyes, fully expecting him to recoil when he meets your crimson gaze, but he seems entirely unaffected.
"I certainly meant no offense if you can manage that as well." He continues.
He's embarrassed. He's just walked in on you- looking like a monster and his only concern is that he's possibly offended you.
You laugh.
He cocks his head curiously to the side when you don't speak.
"I would love every bit of help you can possibly offer me." You smile, tears suddenly filling your eyes.
He nods, a warm smile spreading across his face as he turns his palm upwards in front of him. The golden glow of his magic is warm as it spreads through you; a strange and irregular contrast to the familiar chill of Loki's seidr.
As the warmth subsides, you look down at your hands- a flood of relief washing through you as you admire their far more recognizable state.
"What if he doesn't come back?" You meet Bragi's eyes with your returned sense of confidence.
"My lady, he's hardly been gone an hour- it is far too early to entertain any sort of talk like that." He scowls at your dripping bedside table. "Did you get the opportunity to read that? Before..."
You turn to address where he's looking- the realization that there is a letter under the spilled pool of water twisting your gut.
You practically run to rescue the poor, soaked thing. Loki had neatly folded and placed it where you'd surely see it upon waking, and now because of your recklessness it's most likely destroyed. You hurry to open it, gently peeling apart the folded edges to find that the ink has indeed spread and blurred across nearly the entirety of the page. The only words you can make out are "My love, I couldn't bear to wake you this morning. Watching you rest, completely and utterly at peace is the most beautiful sight I've ever had the privilege of..." And then the entire page is a watery, blurred mess, until the final line. "Until I am happily by your side once again. Your actual man, Loki." Tears blur your vision as you read the last bit that is still legible, Loki's playful sense of humor still managing to shine through in those few words.
You remain silent as your tears escape down your cheeks, the regret for having accidentally destroyed Loki's farewell causing an actual physical pain in your chest.
Bragi's voice, even gentler than usual, pulls you out of your spiral of self-loathing. "While my experience is not particularly grand, I do believe it to be larger than most." He places a careful hand on your shoulder. "I can tell you with complete confidence that Loki is by far the most adept, instinctual sorcerer I have ever witnessed. Pair that with his knife skills and cunning intellect, he is a formidable warrior."
You give him a silent nod.
"Sometimes the closer we get to the people we love, the harder it becomes to see every part of them. Especially the darker parts of them." He continues.
He's right- as much as you constantly see the many wonderful, loving, and protective sides of Loki, he does have another side you don't see often, the side of him that causes him to always survive.
"What's on the docket today?" You place Loki's note out on the bed to allow it to dry out, and turn to your dresser to select an outfit and begin getting ready.
Bragi doesn't miss a beat, seeming to understand your sudden need to change the subject. "Aster has requested your aid with holding court this afternoon."
"I beg your pardon?" The tail end of your last word turns into a squeak.
"He believes the people will appreciate a female perspective on-"
"It is incredibly uncommon for the Queen to assist in holding court, let alone a random woman who-"
"You're not a random woman, and Aster doesn't give a shit about what used to be common."
You're unsure if you're more taken off guard that Bragi cut you off, cursed, or the fact that he doesn't look remotely remorseful for either.
Damn- I'm proud of him.
You can't stop a crooked grin from making its way across your face.
"Where would Aster like me when?" You yank a pale blue dress out of your wardrobe.
"He'd like you to meet him in his chambers by eleven so he may give you some instructions first."
In his chambers? That's a bit odd.
"I'll be there." You give him a nod and he immediately takes the hint to depart as you proceed to work on the buttons of your dress.
You wait several moments after the door shuts to accept that your appearance is going to remain, Bragi's illusions seemingly continuing to work while he is away from you.
You run your fingers along Loki's letter, your heart sinking just a bit again at its damp state, and then continue getting ready for the day.
—------------------------------------------
An unfamiliar sort of uneasiness hangs over you as you knock on the door to Aster's chambers. Why here? Why not the council room where we usually conduct our business?
When he answers, the look on his face does absolutely nothing to set your mind at ease. He doesn't say a word to you, instead he looks over your head and down the hallway both directions before grabbing your arm and yanking you into his chambers and slamming the door.
"Gods! Aster, what the hel is going on? You're scaring me."
"I'm sorry. I just- Bragi wasn't with you, right?" He whispers.
"No, I came myself... what is this all about?" Your chest tightens.
The prince reaches into his breast pocket and produces a small, dark leather box. With shaky fingers, he opens it, revealing an absolutely gorgeous obsidian ring. Flakes of garnet and at least a dozen small diamonds decorate the band.
Oh.
Oh!