SIMRAN's POV:-
"I wonder how people fall and fail and then pretend that it's all okay! Why can't they just let the feelings come out? "
"Let it go. Stop putting on that mask "
"I hope you heal and hope you get the actual reality check by then."
Arghhhhhhhh!! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Just shut up okay!!
I wake up with a bang in my head and profusely sweating.
Shruti:- You okay?
She asked concerned
Simran:- Yes! Yes, I am It's uh just a bad dream.
Shruti:- Well I doubt if it actually was a bad dream or if you replaying the events from the night.
Simran:- I was blabbering stuff all night! Wasn't I?
Shruti passes me the "DAWN DAMAGER"
as she speaks
Yes! These lines on repeat since you came back
Also, add" I am not wearing a fucking mask; I am not pretending; I am not living in denial" to it
Simran:- What the!! Ughhhhh my head will fall off Shru!
I feel like someone digging a million nails in my head!! Hammering it with all the force into my brain!
Shruti:- Gulp it down puraa
She says pushing the glass toward my mouth
And these things happen
When a. You drink pure saal ka daaru in a single night AND
b. Make me lose my appetite by not responding to a single call or message
Simran gulps down the whole drink in one go and as she opens her mouth to speak she is interrupted by Shruti saying
You Dunce! Moron! Didn't you think it was important to tell me about your whereabouts at least? Or have you made it an annual rule to make Me petrified once in a while?
Simran:- I am sorry Shru! Really I just can't explain to you how bad it becomes when it's August 31st!
Shruti:- Well yes keep hanging there! Keep sobbing for that asshole till you see the very last August 31st of your life!
Saying that she marched out of their shared hostel room!
I wish I could ever tell you! How bad it becomes! How necessary it becomes to escape from the people I love during that time!! I wish if I could ever explain to you how heavy it feels! To keep smiling when all I want is to scream! To be found within this trance of my long-lost soul! I wish I could tell you!
Tell you that I am tired! Tired of putting the mask on tired of pretending or living in denial!
As Simran ponders over! Reality strikes and she gasps in disbelief
Wait!! What! No!! NO NO! IT CAN'T BE THE TRUTH!!
But if it's not then why do I keep repeating these in my subconscious? Does this means
"Yeah, it exactly means what you are thinking!"
But lypso!
Calypso:- You are too sober to accept the facts right now Simran! Stop pushing facts away!
It means whatever the guy said! It is true?? I was living in denial? Putting up a smile when all I want is to yell and cry out!?
Calypso:- "Keep pondering over that!! You will soon realize the reality!! The reality that the identity you are portraying in front of people is actually the identity you should have long thrown away to let yourself heal"
The day went by! And to be honest it felt as if it passed in a blink! Simran kept thinking about all the possibilities of how she could be right in a way that she was not pretending that she was really happy! But the more she thought the more she got to know that she was indeed ALIVE IN DENIAL!
It was almost afternoon! The only thought that ever interrupted me was "I WOULD BE GRADUATING IN TWO MONTHS"
and then it would again go like Was it worth it? Worth spending 4 years over someone thinking I moved on? I thought I was happy! I thought I healed when all I did was endless scratching to the wounds!
The thought that "SHE DID NOT NEED TO BE LOVED" was it worth?
And then my web of thoughts was broken by my phone rings!
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SHUBMAN's POV
Shubman:- Is it really necessary? To send another doctor with us? You already sent one of your assistants with the team! Can't he manage alone?
He keeps bragging about how we should maintain healthy lifestyles and keep our health in check! Gives lectures about careers! Do we really need another one like him?
Ishan:- Also why do you have to go in the first place?
Raghavan:- Because I have a seminar to attend Ishan!
Shubman:- And we have an ASIA CUP to WIN Raghvan sir! And the top of that World Cup is on head and you decided to attend the seminar out of the blues!
And also why do these so-called organizations of doctors need you all of a sudden? And you also leaving and letting your players hang around!
Ajay:- Language Shubi! And why do you always judge before even meeting people? I did meet her! She came for the interview earlier! And let me tell you she is nothing like Diljeet!
Shubman:- Yeah she would be a bigger bore!
Ajay:- She is a sweet girl! She knows her job well and I guess you will like her!
Ishan:- And you never know Shubi! She might be the one! Your one EPIC LOVE! 🤪
Hearing Ishan's words Shubman burst out laughing
Shubman:- Oh god!! Ha ha ha!! Wait wait my cheeks hurt now!
Huff! Ish you out of all people saying this! Did you forget my past records?
Ishan:- There is always a first-time brother! And maybe this is yours Shubi! I have a strong intuition!
Shubman:- Intuitions apnii Jeb main rakh! Aur training par dhyaan de! 😛😛
Ajay:- Who will say you both play for the country and are on national duty when you behave like maniacs and miss the flight as if it's a very normal thing to do?
Ishan:- I am not at all at fault!
Shubman:- Oh really! Who reached 2 hours after the flight took off? And when I waited for you being a nice friend that I am you blamed the whole thing on me? Wow, Ishu wow! Acha silaa diyaa tune mere pyaar ka! 😭
Ishan:- Nautankii!
Ajay:- Boys go freshen up! You have your flight at 8:30 pm and don't be late!
And Raghav please call her up! Let's complete the paperwork with her! She too would be flying with us! Rahul sir said he needed another doctor for the team!
Shubman:- So now she would be joining us for the Asia Cup?
Ajay:- Yes! And I will ask her to keep a special check on you Shubi!
Shubman:- As if I need any Ajuu bhai!
I say and practically sprint out of the office into the room to freshen up and pack bags! Cause we have a flight to catch and an Asia Cup to win!
On our way to the room, Ishan says!
Ishan:- Kal raat ko kahan tha!?
Shubman:- Tu toh aaya nahiin time par flight miss karne ka koii toh bahana banana padtaa na! Keh diyaa jugnuu ka tabyat kharapp hai medical emergency I will join the squad afterwards!
Ishan:- That's not the answer to my question Shub!
Shubman:- Well Ishu I was roaming around the streets of Delhi enjoying the monsoon winds!
Khush ab! Chal jaldii
Ishan:- ONE EPIC LOVE!
Shubman:- TVD fever everywhere! All the way round!
Ishan:- Agreed! But what if!
Shubman:- Okay Ish! A single joke can't be funny for a thousand times! Hogaya 😛
We reached our room and kept chatting for some time and then freshened up for the flight! I warned Ishan to keep everything beforehand! Or else he has to hurry last minute!
As I sat on the couch texting Mumma and Di I would leave for Srilanka today and I have a flight at 8:30 pm! A sudden thought crosses my mind! If there is any chance of that new doctor to be the one!
My thought was interrupted by Ishan shouting about where he kept his passport!
And here we go again! "Pocket dynamite's disasters!"
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SIMRAN'sPOV:-
As I was preoccupied I got a call that broke me out of my trance!
Hello!
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Hii Sir
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Yes! No issues sir! Yes, I have those!
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Today?
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To the office? Okay! I will be there in two hours is that okay?
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Okay, thanks!
I cut the call freshened up and packed my bags! And booked a cab!
Those 45 minutes passed in a blink!
I tried calling Shruti but knowing what a stubborn ass she is I left her with a voice note informing me leaving for Srilanka today itself!
On my way, I called Mum and Dad to inform them about the plans as well!
They knew this already so it wasn't shocking for them!
They wished me luck! And asked me to call before taking off!
As I reached my destination! I felt an unusual sensation crawling up my spine! A part of me felt as if the winds were bringing change!
I really hope this whole new thing helps me get back at least a little portion of what I lost in my years back on this day!
Keeping that thought in mind and brushing every Constant Notion away I take a deep breath and step inside The BCCI office.
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Peek-a-boo Homies!
Updated finally! finally!
Sorry for being late! Wasn't well at all the weather change is taking a toll on my health! And Dalhousie feels like Meghalaya! At times I swear!
Anyway, keep up well with your health and take utmost care!
Also, I was so heartbroken by the news of Shubman being tested positive for dengue! I was like World Cup se pehle use badtameez Aedes ko kaatna tha kyaa Shubi ko!
I really really hope and pray he gets well soon! And smash sixes and centuries!
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Do tell me if you liked the chapter!
And if you did do not forget to vote pleaseee!!
Live love laugh! And be the reason, someone smiles today!
We will be meeting tomorrow again with a new chapter! Till then
... This is Hazel!
Yes, Just Hazel! And not Hazel Grace Lancaster!
Signing off! ❤️
Okay bieeeeeeee✨
We will meet tomorrow again! Till then