taehyung woke up to hushed voices communicating with each other. he yawned and sat up on the couch, stretching himself out as he stood up.
he walked over to yoongi, jimin, and hoseok, who were standing in the kitchen and talking.
"good morning, tae." hoseok smiled.
taehyung smiled back, "good morning."
he noticed yoongi whispering in jimin's ear before smiling at taehyung. jimin didn't speak or smile, but continued to stay next to yoongi's side as if he was his safe place.
"sleep good?" yoongi wrapped his arm around jimin's shoulders, who buried his face in his mug as he drank whatever contents that were inside.
taehyung lied, "always."
he didn't want to tell them about his nightmares. he felt childish and weak. who knows, maybe they would make fun of him for it.
"that's good. i was just telling jimin and yoongi about some senior masturbating in the bathrooms in high school." hoseok leaned against a counter, his arms crossing.
taehyung widened his eyes in shock, "in the bathrooms at school? they couldn't have waited until going home, at least?"
hoseok shrugged, "dude, horny people will do anything. trust me, i know."
taehyund decided not to question that further as he watched yoongi and hoseok engage in another discussion about hoseok having a weird high school. he noticed jimin wasn't speaking and when he turned his head to look at him, jimin was watching him, his eyes hard and speculating.
taehyung rolled his eyes and turned away, getting tired of the feud between him and jimin. they were going to be living together. why should they still hate each other?
he walked back to the couch, sitting down and leaning against the couch arm, his knees up to his chest as he wrapped his arms around them.
it's been a few days since jungook's outburst at the dinner table. it's been replaying in his mind ever since. the way jungkook's fists clenched and the way his words clipped. it hurt taehyung.
but, he had to hurt jungkook. they couldn't keep doing this. they couldn't fall for each other.
taehyung didn't want to love him. he truly didn't. he doesn't want someone to be that close to his heart.
but, as every thought of jungkook circled his mind, he couldn't help but wonder if maybe he's already fallen for him.
he hugged his knees closer to his chest and sighed, the conversation of the three males just nothing but background noise.
jungkook has been mostly in his room. the only times he comes out is when he needs something to drink or eat. he barely talks to the other boys and he doesn't talk to taehyung at all, which is understandable.
and taehyung felt awful. he didn't want to create a rift between jungkook and his family. he just wanted more distance between the two of them.
at that moment, namjoon and jin walked into the room, their smiles bright on their faces.
as jin walked to the males in the kitchen, namjoon, surprisingly, walked over to taehyung on the couch, sitting next to him.
"hey, taehyung. how are you?" he sweetly asked, seeming as if to interrogate.
taehyung didn't dislike namjoon, but he was someone he just never got close with in the house. he seemed very sweet and more intelligent than anybody he's met before.
he also admired his relationship with jin. it was beautiful to watch, he had to admit.
"i'm fine. how about you?"
namjoon nodded, "good. can't complain, right?"
taehyung smiled and nodded, wondering again why namjoon was talking to him. he tried to think that namjoon was genuinely trying to become better friends with him, but he had a feeling that wasn't the case.
"so... everything okay with you and jin?" taehyung jerked his chin to the latter in question.
namjoon smiled, "perfect. i'm really grateful to have him, you know? i didn't think i could or would love anyone as much as i love him."
taehyung swallowed the lump in his throat, "how did you know you loved him?"
namjoon raised his eyebrows at the question, and then his expression was quickly replaced by acknowledgement. "he kissed my tears. weird, right? but, it's true. he kissed away my tears and i knew i could never hate this man."
"but, it's also every time i look at him. every time i even think about him, i feel myself warm up in a way? it's like there could never be anything better than us. than him. i want to kiss him all the time. i want to just touch him all of the time."
"it's like a pull over my heart. it's crazy, being in love. i get so scared when we get split up or whenever we're fighting out there. i care about him so much. falling in love with jin has been the best thing to ever happen to me."
taehyung could do nothing but stare at namjoon as he went on about his lover. it was beautiful. namjoon truly loved jin more than anything and it made his heart squeeze. it also made him frightened because all taehyung could picture throughout his words was jeon jungkook's face.
taehyung traced his knee with his thumb, "but is love worth the risk of heartbreak?"
namjoon hesitated and sighed before answering, "it is way better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. "
"of course, it's scary. this world can take someone as fast as the blink of an eye. and i know for some people, it can hold them back."
he then fixed taehyung's eyes with his own, holding them just long enough to ensure that taehyung understood his message, "but i also know that loving someone, even when it's scary, even when there are consequences, is never the wrong thing to do. never."
taehyung watched namjoon's eyes hold a story. he wanted so desperately to climb inside of his mind, because when namjoon was saying these words, it was like he knew something taehyung didn't.
and he couldn't fathom why.
"but that heartbreak... i don't want to experience that. i just can't. i can't have my heart broken like that." taehyung spoke quietly, his voice sounding broken to even himself.
namjoon placed his hand on taehyung's knee, "i know it's scary, taehyung. it scared the shit outta me too. but, you can't deny your own heart. you have to allow yourself to love or be loved. don't let this shitty world deny you of that."
he removed his hand, "and who knows? maybe this is all some nightmare that we're all stuck in where someone is experimenting on us. maybe we'll all wake up one day back at college and back with our old lives. maybe we'll go back to the days where all we had to worry about was student debt and finals."
taehyung chuckled, "yeah. maybe."
at that moment, jungkook walked out of his room, his hair ruffled and his eyes squinted. taehyung assumed he just woke up. he didn't know why his heart clenched at seeing jungkook. maybe it was the way jungkook's pout looked so cute. or the way he wanted to run his fingers through his hair. or the way he wanted to kiss him.
or maybe it was nothing at all.
"woah, you took your piercing out?" jin asked jungkook, who walked to another couch in the living room, far from taehyung.
he shrugged, his voice low and raspy, "getting too hard take care of. it was annoying anyways."
"it looked good on you. it brought out your grungy, e-boy style more." hoseok joked with a wink.
taehyung almost nodded in agreement before stopping himself. the piercing was something he loved about jungkook. he knew jungkook was already hot, but he was ten times hotter with a piercing on him.
"we should find some hair dye. i kinda wanna go blond." jimin suggested, running his hands through his hair.
"i agree, baby." yoongi hugged his waist from the back as he leaned against the counter with jimin in his arms in front of him.
jimin turned his head around to kiss yoongi's lips, smiling as he mumbled against his mouth.
"jesus, you guys are gross." hoseok commented before walking away to sit by jungkook.
"yeah, i'm with yoongi. blonde would look so good on you." namjoon agreed.
"would we even be able to find stupid hair dye?" jin asked.
jimin shrugged, leaning his head against yoongi's chest, "i mean, who would take all the hair dye in the middle of an outbreak? it's not like you can eat or drink it."
"let's go later today. i wanna find more booze." hoseok added.
"and more clothes." jin said as he walked over to the boys, sitting on namjoon's lap.
in the midst of conversation, taehyung's eyes traveled to jungkook, who was sitting quietly on the couch, just observing. he wasn't talking or replying back to anyone.
he was leaned comfortably against the couch, his legs man spread and one arm folded behind his head, while the other rested on his thigh. taehyung's mind began to take a turn as he began to stare at jungkook's thighs.
jungkook then lazily moved his eyes away from the boys to taehyung, who was caught off guard. he tried to move his gaze away, but he felt frozen by jungkook's stare.
it was like a long thread between the two of them. like no one else was there but them and a string connecting them together. they felt the world grow quiet and their hearts increase its beating pace.
the first to break eye contact after a moment was jungkook, who went back to attending to the conversation at hand. taehyung did the same, tightening his hold on his knees to his chest.
"you guys think the whole world is infected? like every country out there?" jin thought as he was leaned onto namjoon comfortably, namjoon stroking his waist with his thumb as he held him.
"i think so. i mean, if not, why wouldn't they come and help us?" yoongi replied as he followed jimin into the living room, the pair sitting down on the last couch.
"maybe they're scared. the military couldn't even defeat those biters." hoseok shrugged.
"but think about how many countries there are. there's no way all of them are just sitting back and letting this happen." jimin leaned his head onto yoongi's shoulder and hugged his knees to his chest as yoongi wrapped his arm around his shoulders.
"then maybe they really are all infected. maybe we're really on our own." namjoon stated.
a silence passed between the boys. they were truly alone and who knows how long it would be until every single person left turned into a biter or ended up dead.
this couldn't be the end, could it?
suddenly curious, taehyung spoke up, "do you guys believe in reincarnation?"
the boys simultaneously said no, all except for jungkook. they all looked to him in curiousity, even taehyung.
"do you, tae?" hoseok asked.
taehyung nodded, feeling jungkook's eyes on him.
"why do you both believe in it?" namjoon questioned.
jungkook began to tap his fingertips against his thigh, "just think about it. we have this endless supply of energy in the universe, right? there's just no way that when we die, our souls just end and we waste away into decomposition. sure, our bodies go to waste, but i feel like our energies just like travel to another body or thing to relive itself."
"woah... since when did you become all philosophical?" hoseok teased, making some of the boys chuckle.
"and what about you taehyung?" jin asked, all everyone's attention now on him.
taehyung glanced at jungkook before clearing his throat, "i agree. but also, i just believe that humans are not just given one chance at life. there has to be multiple opportunities and lives for us out there. i don't believe we only live once. i feel like souls dance with each other in one lifetime, and then continue to dance differently in another."
"so we have two philosophers!" hoseok exclaimed.
"this would be such a good conversation between the two of you." namjoon said to taehyung and jungkook.
taehyung and jungkook looked at each other with interest before turning their attention away, ignoring namjoon's comment and going quiet.
"i agree. have you ever talked to each other about this?" yoongi decided to continue the topic of them talking to each other.
they both slowly shook their heads, desperately waiting for someone to change the subject of discussion. they knew the group was trying to get them to communicate in some way or form with each other, since it was kind of obvious.
"oh! i forgot about my story. okay, so this little idiot kid one time-"
as hoseok broke the uncomfortable silence with another tale, namjoon glanced between taehyung and jungkook. he wanted those two to talk, especially after jungkook's blow up at dinner last time.
he hated seeing them in distress. the whole group could see the change in the pair and as much as they all wanted to ask questions, they all knew the pair would dodge the questions like bullets.
he knew they cared for each other. it was obvious. but, maybe they didn't know that themselves. or, judging from his conversation with taehyung earlier, maybe they didn't want to know that.
maybe they needed a push. maybe they needed a couple of days alone with each other to talk it out.
and just maybe he would give them that push.