"Dog," Kieran blurted out but caught himself, "Shit, that's not a zoo animal. I mean zebra!"
Peter hadn't named a crime novelist, so Kieran won the card. Naomi had dominated the game when she played, but she was still out.
"Anyone need a refill?" Jodie held up her fingerprint-stained wine glass with the tiniest trace of red.
"I'll come. My legs are falling asleep." Kieran stood up and stretched his back.
"Are we still playing?" Peter asked.
She and Kieran glanced at each other and shrugged.
"Where do you think Naomi went?" he asked Jodie as she walked to the kitchen.
"I would guess the beach, but she might have gone for a jog."
"At midnight?"
The cabernet sauvignon swirled as it entered her glass. "She says it helps her think through things."
What would she have to worry about? She'd seemed so happy all day, and they were so close. Was she having regrets? Should he have kept his distance when she was just in a bikini? What if she was freaking out about their sleeping situation?
He stroked his coarse beard. "Should I search for her?"
Jodie wandered to the front of the house and peered out the living room window. "Nah, I see someone coming from the beach. She looks tall enough to be Nomi."
He joined Jodie at the window as she sipped her wine.
"Do you think I upset her at all?"
"This place has many memories. It belonged to our grandparents before Peter and I took it over."
"Oh," his tone dropped. "Are they alright?"
"Yes, they moved into assisted living together, although Grandpa's memory isn't what it used to be. You could talk to her once she returns. You always cheer her up."
Would that be the case tonight? It might not be if he caused her worries. Kieran took his time cleaning the cards with Peter and washing his wine glass, so he didn't rush her. But she still hadn't come into the house, which concerned him.
When he gave up waiting and stepped into the backyard, she sat on a lawn chair, gazing at the night sky.
"Hey, Nomes, how was your walk?"
It took her a few seconds to look in his direction, and she wore a tired expression. "It was alright."
"Worried about anything?"
She shook her head.
"Not our sleeping situation?" Kieran probed further.
"Do you yell in your sleep or thrash around or something?"
He chuckled, relieved she expressed no fears about being pressured sexually. "No, do you?"
"Not that I've been told about."
"Did you go down to the beach?"
Naomi nodded, still silent, which seemed odd as she was keen to share about the town earlier. He chalked it up to tiredness, and they got ready for bed. Once they'd settled into their nest of a sleeping bag base and comforter cover, she ran her hand over his beard and stared at him like she wanted to say something. Instead, she kissed him softly and wished him a good night.
In the morning, he found her snuggled against him, basking in the gentle sunlight filtered through the tent's green walls. His fingers ached to trace the side of her face and to play with her hair, but he didn't want to disturb her peace. Comfort spread throughout him with each inhalation. Sleeping beside someone who cared about him, and who'd enjoy seeing him again, was a welcome sensation.
As more traffic zoomed on the opposite side of the house, she stirred, and her gaze met his. She wiped her eyes and yawned, covering it with the back of her hand. He found it adorable.
"Good morning, Nomes."
"Morning. Did you sleep okay?"
He nodded and ran a finger through her hair. "I could get used to this."
She smiled and bit her bottom lip. "Me too." She glanced at the comforter. "I didn't steal all the blankets, did I?"
He shook his head. "You're a blanket thief?"
"I often wake up in cocoons."
He chuckled as he could picture it. Of course, his overeager mind placed her in his bed in his imagination. "Maybe I'm warm enough you don't need one."
"That or the overnight 'low' of 24 degrees. Supposed to be hot again today."
"What a shame. We'll need to spend the day at the lake. Any other aquatic competitions I can beat you at?" He raised his eyebrows teasingly.
"That was beginner's luck."
"Nah, I've mastered the art of sitting still, and you're far too jumpy. It's cute that you think you have a chance next year."
She half glared and pouted, which only made her more adorable, and he put an arm around her waist to pull her closer.
"Is this okay?"
She nodded and rested her forehead against his. "Is it okay for you?"
"This will always be good with me."
She smiled but chewed on her lip. "I meant we shared a tent and nothing more."
He stroked her cheek. "This is much more than nothing." She closed her eyes and relaxed. "Did you want to talk about intimacy? We've discussed it a bit, but openness will make it easier."
Although she agreed, she tensed a little.
"This changes nothing about us being a couple. It's meant to help us both to know what to expect. I already said I was fine with sex off the table."
"But do you want that? It must bug you."
"Sex with you would only feel good if you wanted it too."
"So it would never feel good because I don't have that desire?" Her bottom lip curled into her mouth as she bit it.
"Not necessarily. Sexual desire isn't the only reason people want to have sex. Sometimes it's curiosity or to feel closer to their partners. But don't feel pressured to do that for me."
Naomi laughed. "Curiosity can be hit or miss." She seemed to be deflecting. He should have started in the intimacy shallow end not cannonballed right into deep water.
"What are your favourite romantic moments to share with someone?"
She shifted until she lay on her back, staring at the tent's ceiling. "It sounds silly, but it's this. Snuggling, hugging, holding hands. I've tried a lot of the other stuff you would love, but I'm the most relaxed and happiest in moments like this. The rest doesn't feel bad, and a lot of it I don't mind doing later in the relationship and enjoy a bit, but it's not this good. What about you?"
"Kissing you is amazing, and so is this. I forgot how I miss waking up next to someone. It's wonderful."
"Me too. How long has it been for you?"
He would not count women he'd only hooked up with. Occasionally they'd stick around, but most had no interest in dating him long term.
"Three years, and you?"
"Two. Did you live together?"
He nodded. It had been heaven coming home, the counter lined with treats from the bakery Katy had saved for him or items she was experimenting with and needed his expert opinion on even though everything she made was delicious. She'd been so excited about the kitchen at their new place.
"We had an apartment and had just bought a house together too."
"Wow, that's intense. I moved into my ex's place for six months and thought that was a big step. What—what happened?"
Although he'd been waiting for her to ask, a sweltering wave of panic shot over him. He pulled off the blankets, leaving them for Naomi. "She died, and I lost the house, the deposit, my job..." Why was this tent so damned hot? Cold sweat covered his body like he was about to vomit.
She stroked his face, which soothed him a little. "That's nothing to be ashamed of. Grief hits everyone in different ways."
Part of it had been grief, but the other part... His nausea intensified. He couldn't say anything else without Jake. He would know how to tell Naomi without destroying the relationship.
"Do you ever talk to anyone professionally about what happened?"
He'd seen a psychiatrist after Katy died, but not by choice. It was helpful in the end, but he hadn't kept up with therapy because he didn't feel he deserved happiness then.
"I did, but not for long."
"I'm always here for you too."
He nodded and squeezed her hand.
She didn't push him for more answers and suggested breakfast when enough time had elapsed to show he wouldn't share anymore.
The weekend passed by in a dreamy blur of cabin games, tasty meals, and beach time. They'd entertained her nephews, the oldest finally warming up to Kieran once he realized the potential of climbing on his back to get around. Naomi showed her appreciation by bringing Kieran on walks to quieter sections of the beach to make out. By the end of the visit, she'd even invited him to this week's softball game.
"Are you sure? I thought you were worried about your ex's reaction."
"It'll be fine. I want to live freely, and he has to move on. Marc and Ian will be there, and I imagine Brinny too."
"She has been asking me if I was going, so I could babysit Rusty."
Naomi's eyes lit up. "I miss that little guy."
"I should have used that weeks ago as my bargaining chip," Kieran teased.
"No, I wasn't ready then. But I am now. And don't worry, he'll know about us before the game, so he doesn't cause a scene."
Two days ago, she'd been right against the idea and suddenly it was fine. What had changed? In the end, they both received what they wanted: to be a part of each other's lives more openly, so it didn't matter. He was keeping a few secrets too, likely much larger than whatever had prompted her change of heart.
But not forever. A successful relationship needed trust. While he trusted her, his fear of history repeating itself paralyzed him.
At Thursday's game, Naomi was more relaxed and affectionate than he expected with her ex around. Shivanna had joined them, claiming she'd handle Greg if he got weird, but oddly the man came to greet them, even acknowledging Kieran by name and with a smile that was only a touch forced. Greg stayed to chat before heading out to practice.
When he left Ian, furrowed his brow. "Does he have a nice, decent twin we never knew about?"
"You two used to be friends until not long ago. He's had some shitty breaks, but he's not a terrible person."
Naomi's words weren't the most reassuring, but she also kissed Kieran passionately before going to practice, so it evened out. He balanced his concern for Brinny as a friend and his romantic relationship with Naomi.
Once the game started, he turned to Shivanna. "Should I be worried about this nice Greg thing?"
She shook her head. "You're miles above him. He'll always be the guy who rejected her identity. You are the one who accepted her, with no hesitation or negotiation."
"Thanks."
"Of course. She was never this happy with him."
That comment gave him a high that lasted the duration of the game.
After they dropped off the dogs at Naomi's, they hit up a nearby pub. Its tartan chairs were filled with patrons sharing pitchers of beer and wings, while some of the trellis-topped booths held couples or groups of friends. Trooper's 'We're Here for a Good Time' played in the background of the boisterous conversations and laughter.
Ian called them over to an L-shaped booth with a few open seats. He sat with an arm around Brinny, while Marc and Greg were near the corner, both still in uniform. Greg's posture straightened, and he smiled as he looked at Naomi. Great, the side with the most space was next to her ex.
"Did Rusty settle okay?" Brinny asked Naomi as she slid into the booth beside Greg.
"Perfectly. He's relaxing in the dog bed."
Brinny smiled. "Thanks again."
"Don't thank her too soon. If he and Cleo become friends, you might not get him back," Kieran teased, leaning his knee against Naomi's under the table. He figured leaning into the conversation like he belonged here would soothe his nerves.
Naomi shot Kieran a look, then turned to Brinny. "She'll tolerate a visitor, but Cleo's not that eager to share her space."
"Not like you," he whispered to Naomi and held her hand.
She raised an eyebrow and chuckled but didn't let go. Maybe this was his jealousy pushing their closeness, but he knew where to stop, and Naomi wasn't giving him those vibes.
The server arrived, hair pulled back to reveal a silvery arc of earrings and handed out drinks to the rest of the party. Naomi ordered her trusted Caesar, and he ordered a Fort Garry dark. Marc poured glasses from the pitcher for Greg, Ian, and himself.
"So, Kieran, how did Gimli treat you?" Ian asked. "Did I read her post right? You beat Nomi, queen of boasting about her athletic prowess, at one of those Viking competitions?"
Kieran chuckled. "She tries too hard. The key to victory is apathy and laziness."
"You two looked adorable. Makes me wish he" — she tilted her head in Ian's direction — "wasn't so reluctant to come out to the lake."
"We can have fun in the city where my boss won't discover me in compromising positions with his daughter. It's self-preservation, not lack of desire."
Kieran did not need that image in his head. "Brin's dad? He is the most relaxed parent I've ever met. If their house was on fire, he'd blink and calmly find a fire extinguisher, put it out and then grab a beer to watch TV next to the burnt lamp."
Everyone laughed, although Ian's uneasy expression hadn't vanished.
"I'm not sure why you're worried. You're much better than the other losers she's dated," Kieran said.
Brinny's glare made Kieran regret his words. In retrospect, that didn't paint her in the best light.
"Could the lake outing be more of a group hangout?" Naomi asked. "Ian's romantic presence may be less obvious with a bunch of friends."
Kieran rubbed her back to thank her for helping fix his misstep. She was his better half.
Brinny turned to Ian with a tentative smile. "Would that work? If more people went, my parents would avoid going the same weekend."
Ian shot Naomi a look, but his tension vanished when he gazed at Brinny. "My logical brain isn't convinced, but the rest of me is."
"Please," she used that cute pout that had always worked on Kieran.
"Okay."
Brinny wrapped her arms around him and kissed him.
"Look at you, matchmaker," Kieran whispered to Naomi. He loved watching her shiver and lean into him as his breath tickled her ear.
"Are you free next weekend?" Brinny asked Naomi with a hopeful smile.
Naomi's eyes widened. "I work most Saturdays unless it's a holiday, but I could drive out after, depending on the distance."
"About two hours," Kieran answered.
"And you too, Kier?" Brinny asked.
"If Naomi's there, I'm there."
Brinny grinned and turned to Ian. "Does that soothe your logical side? You and Naomi are softball friends, and they don't know that she and Kieran are a couple. They'd assume you're dating her."
Ian laughed and had a drink of his beer. "That'd be a terrible match."
"Agreed. I've seen you two after the games and during," Naomi said.
Brinny frowned at everyone's laughter, and Ian rubbed her back.
Naomi leaned toward Brinny. "I'm asexual, so we would not enjoy the same things. Kieran gets it, but not every person wants that kind of relationship."
He wasn't sure if that was a jab at her ex, but the guy tensed.
"I more than get it. I want and adore our relationship," he whispered to her, prompting her to squeeze his hand and kiss him on the cheek.
"Am I the only one who doesn't understand that? You're asexual but also dating Kieran?" Brinny said.
"It means I don't experience sexual attraction. I crave all the romantic stuff, but all that intense romance novel longing, aching, burning for sex never happens for me."
Brinny glanced at Kieran, and he begged her with his gaze not to challenge it like he sensed she wished to. Sure, he had a few hookups before, but his needs had changed from that guy who wanted distractions as well as space to heal.
"That must be tough." Brinny opened her lime hard seltzer.
Kieran had to step in quickly. "I wouldn't trade my relationship for anything. Sex isn't the only way to connect with your partner. There are plenty of other amazing ways."
Naomi looked ready to kiss him again, but he sensed she was holding back because of her friends. Shivanna shot them both an encouraging smile.
"It helps that I have an asexual brother and his best friend to bug for advice. Well, Jake mostly spews out orders like he's trying to train me like one of Naomi's dog clients."
"Wait, Jake is asexual?" Brinny asked. "I thought he was just rude and condescending."
Kieran chuckled. "He can rub people the wrong way, though he usually doesn't intend to."
"When I tried to compliment him, he told me to 'direct my affections' to you because he'd never be interested. That explains why," Brinny said.
Kieran raised an eyebrow. "Were you hitting on my brother?"
Brinny's cheeks reddened, and she delayed her response with a drink. "It was a long time ago. And you've all seen him. Can you blame me?" She looked at Shivanna. "You saw him at Naomi's party, right?"
"I'm not attracted to men," Shivanna said. "But he's a smart and interesting guy."
"Naomi?" Brinny asked.
"I'm not aesthetically attracted to anyone, but he's a great friend."
"Marc, Ian?"
"I was too busy with you to notice." Ian grinned.
Marc ran his finger along the condensation on his beer glass. "I only saw him in passing, but I understand why you find him attractive."
The server arrived again with Kieran, Naomi, and Shivanna's drinks.
As the worker left, Greg said, "So everybody here knew they were dating before last weekend?"
Naomi tensed against Kieran, while Shivanna sipped her frozen margarita, and Marc avoided eye contact.
"Yeah, that was a few weeks ago," Brinny said.
The tension between Marc, Shivanna, Naomi, and Greg was high. Brinny quieted as she looked between them all.
"I should go," Greg muttered.
"You don't have to," Naomi said.
He glanced around the table, especially at Marc sitting next to him, and shook his head. Then he pulled out his wallet and left a twenty on the table. "It's a busy work week. Have a good night."
Everyone echoed the words, but they were as empty as Greg's glass.
Kieran stood to let him out, and Naomi did the same, except she excused herself to follow him. Kieran's feet remained planted on the ground as he tried to process his next action. It made little sense to trail them, but why had she gone? His tablemates offered him forced smiles, and he joined them again, drumming his fingers against his shorts under the table.
Brinny picked at her nails. "Sorry, I didn't mean to..." Ian grabbed her nervous hand and kissed it.
"It's fine. We're the ones who lied to him," Marc said. "We wanted to protect Naomi, and it worked."
"Should I go out there too?" Kieran asked.
"Give it a few minutes," Shivanna said. "She probably feels responsible for his mood and is trying to reassure him. He didn't seem too upset with her. She'll either fail and come back or if it drags on, go save her."
They finished their drinks and made small talk, but Kieran kept checking the time on his phone. Five minutes had gone by, and she hadn't returned.
Next week you'll get to see where Naomi disappeared to and how that conversation with Greg is going. Answers about Kieran's past will be coming later this month too.