• XANDER •
When the nurse leaves us outside of Amalia's room, I turn around quickly and open the door, performing each action hastily because I'm too afraid I'll pussy out and drive home.
I walk in, eyes immediately landing on my dad. His arm stretches beneath the covers, where Amalia's pops out. I glance over at her, a tsunami of relief drowning my fear. I smile, making my steps less heavy because she's sleeping, and I don't want to wake her.
"Hey." My father says quietly. "You guys okay?"
I nod.
"Yeah." Cole says, moving to sit on the end of Amalia's bed. He sets his crutches on the floor as a sigh of contentment leaves his lips. He leans his head on the white wall behind him, slowly titling it to look at our sister, like he's mentally preparing himself.
"Is she okay?" Grayson asks, stepping forward. Elijah stays back, a nervous look on his face, and I send him a reassuring smile that he quickly looks away from.
Our father sighs. "She won't talk."
I tense.
"She's been in bed since she first came here. That's what they told me." My dad tells us.
"I knew if she came here it'd only make her worse." I speak up. "She needs to come home, not stay in this shit hole."
"I'm not allowed to take her back until they say she's stable enough." He replies.
Cole rolls his eyes. "So? Clearly it's not helping her to be in here if she's not getting out of bed. We're only allowed to visit for, like, half the day, and the rest of it she'll be with strangers. Like that old cranky woman who was at the front desk. Do you want Amalia to be stuck with her all day?"
Our father sighs. "I don't know how to help her."
"Then learn. We all will." Grayson tells him.
"And Mason will be happy, since he isn't allowed to move around much yet. Amalia will be able to go to him. He misses her." Elijah adds softly.
Amalia halts the conversation when a small, pained sound escapes her lips. Her eyes open, but exhaustion continues to weigh them down. I tilt my head, concern furrowing my brows.
"Lia." My dad whispers. She closes her eyes and reopens them when she's facing him. He smiles at her. "Hi, sweetheart. Look who's here."
She looks over at us, stiffening immediately. The gladness and recognition I expected to see in her eyes couldn't be farther from the worry that fills them instead.
I step closer to her, sitting beside her on the bed. She watches me carefully. "Hi, darling."
Her eyes water, and sympathy blooms in my chest. I notice her small fingers tighten around our fathers hand, and the pity slowly morphs into confusion.
"Amalia," I say hopefully, "how are you feeling?"
She frowns deeply, her bottom lip wobbling. From the simple detail alone, I can tell that she's about to cry.
"Amalia," I attempt, watching as she pulls her hand out of our fathers, much to his blatant dismay, and turns away again, facing the wall. She's so close to it that her forehead almost touched it, but she quickly burrows that beneath the covers, hiding her entire body under the thin sheet.
"Baby." My dad tries, setting a hand on her wrapped up back. She moves away from him, almost entirely pressed up against the wall.
My lips tilt downwards. "Amalia." I repeat.
Elijah steps beside me. "Angel, please talk to us, we just want to make sure you're okay."
She doesn't reply, but I can see her body trembling. Sadness and pity and so many emotions swirl within me at once, and I have the sudden, overwhelming urge to sob my heart out.
"Amalia." I say again.
She covers her ears with her hands, closing her eyes tightly. I feel my heart crack for the fiftieth time, and I sigh.
"Lia." Cole attempts. "It's us. You can talk to us."
She doesn't say anything. She doesn't even move.
•
Amalia sleeps the entire day. By the time six o'clock comes around, the nurse comes into her room and tells us we have to leave since visiting time is over. Elijah is the first to say goodbye. He holds onto her hand and kisses her forehead, whispering something in her ear before putting a small envelope on the bedside table.
I sit beside her next, leaning down. "I'll see you tomorrow, darling." I whisper, setting a hand on her stiff shoulder. I expect her to relax under my touch, but if anything she only tenses up more. I kiss her cheek. "I love you."
She doesn't respond, again.
I stand up and walk out of the room, leaning back on the wall as the rest of my brothers say goodbye. When we're all outside, we wait for dad for about three minutes before he walks out, a heartbroken look on his face.
He closes the door lightly behind him. Then he starts walking down the hallway wordlessly, pulling his phone out of his pocket and typing hastily.
• AMALIA •
Amalia,
I'm okay. You'll be okay.
Everything will be fine.
I'll see you soon.
—Love, Mason.
My eyes water as I close the note back over and hold it to me as though it's the most sacred object to ever exist.
I inhale a small, shaky breath before climbing out of bed. I walk over to the door, able to decipher the way even in the dark. I've had a lot of time to just.. look at this room.
I open the door, then step outside. A chill overcomes my body, and I shiver. I debate wether to go back to my room and grab one of the blankets my dad brought for me, but decide against it and continue down the hallway.
I pause when I see two people at the end of the corridor. They both turn to look at me, and I recognise one of them as the nurse that always comes into my room.
"Amalia?" She says. "What are you doing out of bed?" She questions, beginning to approach me. My eyes widen a little and I begin to step back. Her voice takes on a softer edge. "Do you need something to drink or eat? I can make you something?"
I shake my head.
"Your counsellor isn't here right now, if that's what you want. She'll be here tomorrow, and you can talk to her then."
I shake my head again and turn around. The bandages around my arms and thighs begin to itch, and I grimace when I hear the nurse shout my name.
"Amalia!" She shouts.
I pick up my pace, becoming dizzy. I don't even know where I'm going, or why I even got out of bed.
I try open each door as I walk past, and only one is unlocked. I go inside, looking around me to see that I've entered a small office. I lock the door behind me and wrap my arms around myself, ensuring that the blinds in the windows are closed before going over to the laptop on the desk.
I turn it on, letting out a small sigh of relief when I see it doesn't have a password and just opens onto the homepage, which is a stupid move on whoever this laptop is' part, but this helps in my favour now. I go on File Explorer, then scroll through all the names on the Documents bit.
I pause.
HEIDI ROMANO
My fingers begin to tremble as I double click on her file, then choose a random document.
Heidi Romano.
SESSION SEVENTEEN.
• Convinced of her "family":
• Husband: Lorenzo.
• Sons: Xander, Elijah, Mason, Cole and Grayson.
• Daughter: Amalia.
• Very clear signs of schizophrenia.
• Talking to herself.
• Thinking other people are in the room with us.
• Refuses to take medication.
• Adamant that she's telling the truth.
• Becoming violent with staff and other patients.
I let out a strained sob and click on another document. As I double click, I hear the nurse say my name from the other side of the door.
"Amalia, you can't be in there. Open the door." She orders loudly.
I ignore her and start reading again.
Heidi Romano.
SESSION FORTY-NINE.
• Becoming increasingly distressed.
• Became violent, had to be put in the safe room.
FOOTAGE:
I click on the link to the video. More tears trickle down my cheeks as disbelief swirls within me, overtaking all my other emotions.
And when I see my mother in the middle of an entirely cushioned room, I lose complete consciousness.
• LORENZO •
I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing. I turn over in my bed, grabbing it from my bedside table and putting my phone up to my ear without checking who's calling.
"Hello?" I say tiredly.
"Mr. Romano, this is SunnySide mental hospital, we're calling about Amalia."
I'm sitting up within an instant, climbing out of the bed. "What's wrong? Is she okay?"
"She locked herself in one of the counsellors offices, then when we were able to get in she seemed to have fainted. We just wanted to let you know that if you want you're able to come see her now." She tells me.
"Okay, I'm on my way." I tell her hastily, pulling on the first pair of clothes I see as I hang up. I grab my keys and shove my phone in the pocket of my grey sweatpants, only realising when I'm in the driver seat of my car that the white shirt I'm wearing is too small. I sigh and step on the gas.
•
I walk into the room after the nurse, smiling softly when I see Amalia sitting on the floor of the cushioned room, her legs drawn to her chest and a scared look on her face.
"Amalia." I whisper as I crouch down beside her. Her eyes snap to look at me, and worry fills her eyes. "It's okay, sweetheart." I assure her gently, moving to sit next to her. The nurse closes the door over a little but leaving it mostly open, allowing a sliver of light to shine onto Amalia's face. I wrap an arm around her shoulders and tuck her into my side. She leans on me, staring straight ahead. "What happened?"
She swallows. "Mum is here."
I pause. Then I sigh, "Amalia.."
"I s-saw her, dad, I swear." Her voice breaks on the word dad. "On the laptop, she—she had a whole file and th—they think she's crazy. But—but she isn't, dad."
"Each staff members laptop has a password." The nurse says. "You may have been hallucinating it, Amalia."
"Shut up, no I wasn't!" She exclaims.
"It's okay," I whisper, pulling her closer to me and gently rocking her back and forth. She lets out a strangled sob, and despite what she's saying, the thing that's gripping my attention is the fact that I'm hearing her voice again.
"I'm not lying, dad." She says. "I promise." Her voice cracks again. "I saw it. I saw the footage of her in a room like this and she was crying."
"Lia.."
"Why don't you believe me?" She shouts. She pulls herself out of my grip and stands. "I'll show you! It's on the laptop!"
"Amalia, there's no way you could've gotten into the laptop. It's password-protected." The nurse tells her.
"Well, I did!" She yells. "It didn't have a password!"
"Sweetheart, I know you miss your mum—" I begin.
"She's here!" She cuts me off. "Dad." She trails off, the desperation in her voice clear. I sigh and stand, holding her face in my hands.
"Baby, she just said they all have passwords." Her eyes water, and her bottom lip begins to tremble. "Why don't I take you back to your room?"
"You're supposed to believe me." She croaks out, pulling away from me again. "Not her." She says, hatred in her voice. "She's the one who locked me in this room until you came!"
"For your own safety, and everyone else's."
My jaw hardens, and I look away. That's why I'm not able to catch Amalia before she lunges at the nurse, knocking her onto the cushioned floor. Shock fills me as I rush over to her, pulling her away and opening her hand around the thick lock of the nurses hair she has in her clutch and forcing her to let it go.
Amalia screams in anger. "Liar!"
"Amalia!" I exclaim, setting her down.
"She's lying! My mum is here!"
The nurse leaves the room quickly, and I turn Amalia around so she's looking at me. "You can't do that, Amalia." I say.
"Why don't you believe me?" She yells.
I put my head in my hands and lean back on the soft wall. "Sweetheart, your mother is gone. I wish she was still here just as much as you do, but she isn't. And if you keep thinking otherwise, it's going to take away from you getting better, which is what we need to focus on. Okay?"
"It was her, dad." She attempts, her voice small and now uncertain, like she's beginning to doubt herself. "I'm not crazy."
"I know you're not, Amalia." I say.
Another nurse comes in. She's younger, with blonde hair that's brown at the roots. She smiles kindly. "Amalia, I've come to take you back to your bedroom." She looks at me. "Your dad can come with you."
"No thanks." Amalia whispers, "I can go on my own."
My heart cracks a little.
•
I light a cigarette in my office, inhaling it before blowing the smoke out of my mouth. I don't smoke a lot, since Amalia doesn't like it, but since she isn't here I decide that I will, since I can't sleep.
I lean back in my chair, exhaling a small sigh. I look at the door when I hear footsteps, then stand and leave my office after putting the cigarette in the ashtray.
I follow the sound into the kitchen, where I see Jenna by the kitchen counter, half asleep as she gets a cold water bottle out of the fridge and pours it out into a glass, popping a straw in.
"Hi, Jenna." I say. "You guys okay?"
She nods, puffing out a breath. "Yep. I'm just getting Mason some water."
"Is he alright?"
"He's fine, just a little sad that he's not able to see Amalia." She tells me.
I nod. "He'll be able to see her soon."
"When do you think she'll be able to come back?" She asks.
"I'm not sure."
"Oh, alright." She whispers. "I'll go give this to Mason. Goodnight."
"Goodnight." I reply, walking out into the back garden.