"There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable."
─ Mark Twain
∞
Chapter 14
Tahimik lamang ako habang nakatitig sa lalaking nakaupo sa pang-isahang couch at umiinom ng kanyang champange. Mahigpit ang kapit ko sa strap ng aking bag habang nakatitig sa kanya.
"A-anong pag-uusapan natin?" I asked in a low voice.
Binalingan niya ako gamit ang walang buhay niyang mga mata at muling binalik ang titig sa baso. "Let's talk about what happened between us."
Napahugot ako ng malalim na hininga at mariing pinikit ang aking mga mata. I tightened the grip of my bag's strap as I opened my eyes and answered, "What happened between us was a sin, Mr. Imperial. That shouldn't happen."
He chuckled as if I said something amusing. "A sin..." Uminom ito sa hawak niyang champange at tinignan ako. "Was it?"
"It was," mariing tugon ko. "Baka nakakalimutan mong kasal ka sa ate ko, Mr. Imperial."
Muli itong ngumisi na para bang sobrang tanga ko para maniwala sa bagay na 'yon. Tumayo siya at lumapit sa 'kin. "Am I the only one who forgets?"
Napalunok ako. Brain cells! Where the fuck are you?! "I-I was drunk, Mr. Imperial."
""I said call me Kaius!" He roared and pulled me up by my arms. His firm arms immediately captured my waist to keep my balance. "It's not just me who liked what happened that night."
I took a step back but his arms are holding me still. Napalunok ako. I think I'll lose my breath. "A-ano bang pinupunto mo?" nauutal kong tanong.
Mas hinapit niya pa ako palapit. "You moaned as I ate you. You screamed my name. Tell me, Alexis. Am I the only one who's still into what happened that night?"
Napalunok muli ako. No, I'm not just still into what happened that night, but I'm also into you. "I told you I'm in the influence of alcohol! Please, Kaius. Stop pursuing this. Mali ang ginawa natin. Maling-mali. I was drunk. Let's just forget what happened."
I saw how his jaw clenched. "Forget?" he asked, chuckling nonchalantly. Who am I to fool, Alexis? When all I can do is reminisce about that moment we shared and I'm fucking confused why."
Napahawak ako sa dibdib niya nang mas idiin niya ako sa kanya. "Kaius..."
Pinagdikit nito ang mga noo naming dalawa. "I don't want to commit a sin to your sister. But I hate the thought of you with someone. I hate the thought of you acting like we never shared each other's skin. I hate you," he whispered, and I almost forgot how to breathe. "But you know what's worse"
"What?" kapos hininga kong tugon.
His head moved lower and his lips touched the sensitive part of my neck. "I want that to happen, again."
--
"Hoy, tulala ka?"
Napakurap-kurap ako nang pumitik ng daliri si Claire sa harap ko. We're inside a coffee shop together with Hiro, Claire, Ren and another male friend, Dave.
Agad akong umiling. "Nothing."
Biglang nanliit ang mga mata ni Ren habang nakatitig sa leeg ko. "Ano 'yan? Bakit pula?"
I immediately covered that certain part using my hair. Damn you, Kaius. "This is just nothing."
Tumango si Ren at hindi na nagsalita pa. I forced myself to smile and just took a sip of my coffee to ease the tension I'm feeling at the moment. Si Hiro at Dave ay nag-uusap, may sariling mundo. Ren is busy reading another book, and Claire is just staring at the horizon. Habang ako ay nakatutok sa aking cellphone. I'm scrolling through my feed when a post comes into view.
'When unrequited love is the most expensive thing on the menu, sometimes you settle for the daily special.' - Miranda Kenneally
Pagak akong natawa. The post is seriously mocking me. I bit my lip and turned off the phone. I hate it.
Habang sumisimsim sa aking kape, bigla akong sinipa ni Claire sa ilalim ng mesa. I looked at her confusedly and she just tilted her head as if she's pointing something. Kaya kahit nagtataka, nilingon ko ang direksyon na tinuturo niya. I frowned. It was Kaius and his loving engineer, Vanessa Delegante. Ang babaeng kinaiinisan ko. Akala mo naman sobrang ganda.
"Ba't parang feeling ko ang sama ng loob mo kay Mr. Imperial? Ayaw mo siya sa kapatid mo?" tanong ni Ren.
I shrugged. "Hindi, ah. Bakit naman sasama ang loob ko riyan?"
"Malay namin," balik sagot sa 'kin ni Claire na ikinailing ko.
Kaius is taking out his engineer for coffee? Naikuyom ko ang aking kamao at huminga ng malalim. Alright, I shouldn't feel affected. Whatever he's doing, it doesn't concern me. Ngunit hindi ko talaga maiwasan na hindi makalingon sa pwesto nila.
He's seriously talking with Ms. Delegante, while the girl just looked at him dreamingly. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng irita. Humigpit naman ang kapit ko sa phone at muling sumsimsim sa aking kape. Nagtaka naman ako nang akbayan ako ni Hiro at humilig sa 'king balikat.
"Ugh, hangover," he murmured.
Mahina ko itong siniko. "Naglasing ka kagabi? May lakad tayo mamaya, siraulo ka ba?"
He groaned. "Stop talking. Let me take a nap on your shoulder for a minute."
"Ayun!" tumili si Claire habang nakatingin sa amin. "My ship is sailing!"
At dahil nga sa tinis ng boses ni Claire, napalingon sa amin ang iilan sa mga customer dito sa coffee shop. Kasama na roon si Kaius at Ms. Delegante. I can see his cold stares, assaulting our direction. Then his stare dropped on Hiro, who's now taking a nap on my shoulder and his arms on my other shoulder. He suddenly frowned in my direction and his jaw clenched.
"Engineer and Architect love story? Parang bet ko na ito." Kinikindat-kindatan pa ako ni Claire.
Iniwas ko ang paningin sa mesa nila ni Kaius at pabirong inirapan si Claire na nambubuska samin ni Hiro. There's no harm to be done. Hiro and I made it clear to each other that there would be no hidden agenda in our friendship. Just friends. Kaya hindi ko na bini-big deal ang panunukso sa amin ni Claire.
I was busy sipping my coffee when somebody just slammed their tables. Napatingin naman kami sa pwesto nila ni Kaius at namataan na kahit ang kausap niyang si Delegante ay gulat na nakatitig sa kanya. His eyes were cold. So cold that it could bury deep within your system. At kahit ako ay natatakot sa paraan ng paninitig ito.
He walked out of the shop, leaving his engineer alone.
"He's grumpy today," Ren murmured na sinang-ayunan ni Dave.
"He's grumpy as always, Ren," sagot ni Claire.
Umiling naman si Ren. "I mean, yes, he's grumpy, but unlike today. Did you see the way he stares? Parang ano mang oras ay papatay na ng tao."
Tumango si Claire at bumuntong hininga. "Should we get ourselves ready?"
Umugong ang phone ko at lumabas sa notification ko ang message na pinadala ni Kaius.
Kaius: My office, Alexis. Now.
I blew a loud breath. "Mukhang ako muna ang maghahanda," I murmured.
Kumunot ang noo ni Ren. "Bakit, Sam?"
"I was summoned."
--
Napailing ako nang salubungin ako ni Ms. Gallego pagkalabas ko ng elevator. Her hands were trembling as she looked at me. Napansin ko rin ang natumbang mesa ni Ms. Gallego na ikinakunot ng noo ko.
"Miss A!" she said. "H-huwag na lang po kaya kayong pumasok sa loob? I'll just tell boss you excused—"
"Anong nangyari? Bakit natumba ang mesa mo?" I cut her.
She bit her lip. "Galit po kasing pumasok si Sir Ice sa opisina. He flipped my table after telling me to cancel all his meetings and appointments. N-nakakatakot po si Sir Ice, architect."
I frowned and took a deep breath. Bahagya kong tinapik ang balikat ni Gallego. "He summoned me, Ms. Gallego. Baka mas lalo siyang magalit kung hindi ako sisipot," malumanay kong tugon.
"Mag-iingat po kayo, Archi—"
"Just call me Sam, okay?" I smiled and tapped her shoulders once again before making my way inside his office.
Nang makaharap ko ang pinto ay humugot ako ng malalim na hininga at hinigpitan ang kapit sa aking dalang handbag. Pinihit ko ang door knob at mahina itong itinulak pabukas. I didn't bother to knock.
"Mr. Imperial?" mahinang usal ko sa lalaking nakatagilid sa pwesto ko at nakatingin sa malawak na syudad ng Maynila.
I closed the door behind me before wandering my eyes around the place. Nagkalat ang mga papeles sa sahig. Meron ding isang basag na vase at nagkalat ang mga lupa at ang tanim nito sa sahig. The is really a mess. He's a monster.
"A-ano pong kailangan niyo sa 'kin at pinatawag niyo ako?" I asked in a low voice. Ayokong magwala ito na nandito ako.
Nilingon ako nito gamit ang kanyang malamig na titig. Wala sa sarili akong napalunok. And despite of his deadly stares, I forced myself to smile. Ngunit nauwi ito sa ngiwi nang makita kong may dugo ang kamao nito. I panicked.
Nilapag ko ang aking bag sa sofa at nilapitan siya. Wala sa sarili kong hinugot ang kanang kamay niya at sinuri ang duguan niyang kamao. I bit my lip. Hindi siya masyadong malalim, ngunit kahit ganoon ay alam kong mahapdi ito.
"You're bleeding," I murmured.
Napasinghap ako nang bawiin niya sa pagkakahawak ko ang kamay niya at matalim akong tinignan. "Are you in a relationship with Austria?" Dumagundong ang baritono nitong tinig sa apat na sulok ng silid.
I immediately shook my head. "H-hindi po."
He chuckled humorlessly. "Really? What did I hear again? An engineer and an architect love story?"
Nanatili ang titig ko sa kanya. He continued, "Want me to beat that assholes face?" Dumapo ang paningin nito sa aking balikat. "You even let him rest his fucking head on your shoulders. Are you still gonna deny your relationship?"
Biglang uminit ang ulo ko. "Ano bang problema mo?! You keep assuming something when it's not! Ilang beses ko bang uulitin na wala akong boyfriend!"
"But you said to Resha you'll give him a chance!" he yelled back.
"It was a guess, Kaius! Huwag kang malisyoso!" I massage my temple lightly. "Letting rest Hiro's head on my shoulder is none of your concern. He's tired and he's having a hangover."
"Bakit kailangang sa balikat mo pa?" he asked. His expression didn't change.
Nangunot ang noo ko sa kanya. "I told you, it's none of your concern," mariing sambit ko.
He distanced himself from me. Napatili ako nang hablutin niya ang isang babasaging vase sa gilid at walang kudang binagsak ito sa sahig. I closed my eyes, fear strike me.
"Fuck this!" Someone wrapped his arms on my waist and pulled me close to him. "Open your eyes."
Nagdadalawang-isip man, binuksan ko ang aking mga mata. Sinalubong naman ako ng walang buhay na tingin ni Kaius. Those dark brown eyes.
"Kaius..." Bakit ba palagi akong kinakapos ng hininga sa tuwing ganito kami kalapit?
"Explain," he murmured. "Explain to me what the fuck happened in the coffee shop. Why is he resting on your shoulders? Why did I hear Santillan talking about an engineer and architect love story?"
Nakagat ko ang aking ibabang labi. Nilapat ko ang aking kamay sa kanyang dibdib upang sana itulak siya, ngunit nauwi 'yun sa mahigpit na pagkapit sa kanyang damit nang halikan nito ang tenga ko.
He whispered. "Explain before I break his bones into pieces. I would surely love that, Alexis. What you think?"
Mariin kong pinikit ang aking mga mata at muling nagdilat. Kinakailangan ko pang tumingala dahil mas matangkad siya sa 'kin.
"We're just friends, Kaius. He's having a hangover that's why I let him take a nap on my shoulder. May mga kape ang mesa kaya mahirap kung doon siya dumukdok," I said.
I saw him looking at my lips and he suddenly licked his. My body jerked when his fingertips traced my spine. Halos manginig ang tuhod ko nang dumakwang ito at walang pasintabing sinakop ang labi ko.
My grip on his shirt tightened as he pulled me closer, locking the distance between us. He sucked my lower lip and bit it, making me moan unconsciously. Hindi pa ito nakuntento at sipnipsip pa ang dila ko. I couldn't help but moan when his hand suddenly squeezed my buttcheeks. Tinampal niya ito na siyang ikinasinghap ko.
Fuck. I'm losing my sanity, again.
Siya ang unang humiwalay sa aming halikan at mataman akong tinignan. "I'm sorry."
Are you jealous? Tangina. Kating-kati na akong itanong 'yan sa kanya ngunit ayokong mapahiya ang sarili ko.
Hindi na ako nagsalita pa. I just forced a smile and cupped his cheeks. "You frightened me and your secretary."
Nangunot ang noo nito. "I was mad, Alexis."
"Why?" Bahagya kong pinisil ang kanyang pisngi. "Why are you mad, Kaius?"
Hindi ito sumagot. Sa halip ay yumuko ito at siniksik ang kanyang mukha sa aking leeg. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay," I replied, gently tapping his back. "Kung galit ka, huwag kang magtapon ng kung ano-ano. The vase looks so expensive, yet you just broke it that fast."
"I can buy dozens of that, Alexis. I don't care how much it cost." Humigpit ang yakap nito sa aking bewang na para bang ayaw akong mawala.
Lumipad agad ang isip ko kay Kai. Kamusta na kaya siya? James called last night and told me my son is tired of learning to speak Tagalog.
My arms involuntarily wrapped around his neck and hugs him back.
If you were just here, son. If everything were just normal, I can let you hug your father like I did at the moment. But there are things that aren't supposed to be. And I deeply apologized for that.
END OF CHAPTER 14