Patrick was fast asleep in his bed before he heard a knock. Patrick woke up and tiredly rubbed his eyes as he pulled on his pants and walked towards his rock.
Patrick:
Coming!
Patrick then opens the door to find a familiar face, though a face he didn't expect.
Patrick:
FitzPatrick? My long lost evil cousin?
FitzPatrick:
Aye, the one an' only!
Patrick screams in delight and pulls FitzPatrick into a hug. FitzPatrick, however, quickly pushes him away from him.
FitzPatrick:
Alright, we don't need none of that.
Patrick:
So, what brings you to Bikini Bottom, cous?
FitzPatrick:
Oh just thought I'd come by, assume your identity, ruin yer life, y'know, standard evil relative stuff.
Patrick:
Sounds great! Hey before you do whatever you just said, please come inside.
FitzPatrick then takes a seat in the sand chair in Patrick's house. Patrick then goes to his fridge and takes out a stack of hotdogs. Patrick then tosses the hotdogs into the air and karate chops them into small pieces.
Patrick:
Hotdog, cous?
Patrick takes one the hotdogs and swallows it as he offers one to FitzPatrick. FitzPatrick only pushes the hotdogs away and Patrick eats them in one bite.
FitzPatrick:
Oh no thank you, I'd actually like to play a game.
Patrick:
A game? I love games!
FitzPatrick:
Good, you don't happen to have a closet, do you?
Patrick:
Well sure, it's right there.
FtzPatrick then moved Patrick towards the aforementioned closet.
FitzPatrick:
Good, now just get into the closet.
Patrick then walks into the closet and FitzPatrick shuts the door behind him.
Patrick:
Now what?
FitzPatrick:
Oh, count to......ten thousand.
Patrick:
Okay. One.....two......three.........
As Patrick counts, FitzPatrick positions a chair where it would stay shut. He then maniacally runs out and outside of Patrick's house. SpongeBob then walks up and catches FitzPatrick by surprise.
SpongeBob:
Hi Patrick!
FitzPatrick was startled but realized who was behind him. He then brushes himself off and takes on a serious face.
FitzPatrick:
Do I know you?
SpongeBob:
Well of course you do. It's me, SpongeBob, your best friend.
FitzPatrick:
Ah yes, SpongeBob. What brings you here?
SpongeBob:
Well I thought we could hang out, go jellyfishing, get ice cream, maybe even check out some comic books.
FitzPatrick:
Yes that sounds amazing.
SpongeBob then leaves with FitzPatrick to have a fun day. Later, the two are seen at Goofy Goober's while ordering. The waiter comes by and takes out his pen and paper.
Waiter:
What can I get you today?
SpongeBob:
I'll take one triple goober berry sunrise.
Waiter:
Mhmm how original. And you sir?
FitzPatrick turned away from the waiter and his attention turned to the animatronic band.
Waiter:
Sir?
FitzPatrick:
Oh nothin' for me thanks, I came for the music.
FitzPatrick then gets up from his seat and walks towards the band.
Animatic:
Chocolate, vanilla and strawberry, butter pecan and black cherry. All these flavors make me merry, when I'm eating ice cream.
FitzPatrick then steals a child's banana split and throws it onto the band. As the animatronics malfunction, he takes the microphone and gets on the stage in front of them.
FitzPatrick:
🎵Hey there kids who ruined your day?🎵
Animatronics:
🎵Patrick Star! Patrick Star!🎵
FitzPatrick:
🎵Messed up your music, took your ice cream away?🎵
Animatronics:
🎵Patrick Star! Patrick Star!🎵
FitzPatrick:
🎵Remember my name when you scream and cry!🎵
Animatronics:
🎵Patrick Star! Patrick Star!🎵
FitzPatrick:
🎵I hope you hate me till the day I die!🎵
Animatronics:
🎵Patrick Star! Patrick Star!🎵
FitzPatrick:
🎵My name is Patrick Star!🎵
The animatronics then explode as FitzPatrick gets off the stage. As the children scream, the manager comes and notices this.
Goofy Manager:
Patrick! I saw what you did. Your banned! Oh Big Jim!
The fish known as Big Jim comes and kicks FitzPatrick where he lands outside of Goofy Goober's. SpongeBob then walks out of the restaurant eating the triple goober berry sunrise.
SpongeBob:
Patrick what was that?
FitzPatrick:
Oh just wanted to give them a little extra taste in music. Nothin' much.
SpongeBob:
Well I guess ice cream was the least fun thing on my list anyway. Let's go jellyfishing!
FitzPatrick:
Oh that sounds delightful.
FitzPatrick then takes on an evil grin as they leave. The are are later seen at Jellyfish Fields. SpongeBob notices a jellyfish and tries to catch it but FitzPatrick swoops in and snags it before him. He also takes jellyfish from many others and not let anyone catch any. SpongeBob notices the hundred of jellyfish in FitzPatrick's net and walks up to talk to him.
SpongeBob:
Patrick, don't you think you should give some jellyfish to the others?
FitzPatrick:
Oh gladly.
FitzPatrick then grips the back of his net and pulls back on it. He lets go and launches the jellyfish onto the other jellyfishers, causing them to become stung. As the jellyfishers were stung, SpongeBob pulls at his collar while nervously laughing.
SpongeBob:
Well I guess you did give them a chance. Let's go check out those comics.
Later that day, SpongeBob was checking out a new comic book. He takes one comic book and notices the notes.
SpongeBob:
Ooh Return of the Atomic Flounder. And it's the platinum edition. That's got to be the best one wouldn't you say Patrick? Patrick?
SpongeBob then turns his head to find FitzPatrick trashing the store.
The store manager then comes out and notices all the damage.
Manager:
Who did this?
Customers:
It was the starfish!
Manager:
Alright buddy, consider yourself banned!
The manager then grabs FitzPatrick and throws him out of the store. SpongeBob then walks out of the store, now seemingly frustrated.
SpongeBob:
Patrick, what's gotten into you today?
FitzPatrick:
What yee be talkin' 'bout? I just be havin' some fun.
SpongeBob becomes frustrated but takes notice of his watch.
SpongeBob:
Holy anchovies, we're late for work! Come on, Patrick, Mr. Krabs is gonna lose his mind!
FitzPatrick:
You got that right, SpongeBob.
FitzPatrick then takes on an evil grin. Meanwhile, the real Patrick remained inside his closet.
Patrick:
Nine thousand nine hundred ninety eight.......nine thousand nine hundred ninety nine.......ten thousand.
Patrick then looks to his watch and notices the time. After a thought, Patrick immediately realized that he had to get to work.
Patrick:
Oh I'm late!
Patrick then attempts to get the door open but realizes it would not.
Patrick:
FitzPatrick, I'm stuck. FitzPatrick?
Patrick frantically bangs the door and with his intense strength, the door breaks down. Patrick then wasted no time and runs towards the Krusty Krab. At the Krusty Krab, FitzPatrick was serving a customer in a drive thru.
FitzPatrick:
Here's your order. By the way, did it hurt?
Customer:
Did what hurt?
FitzPatrick:
When you fell from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!
FitzPatrick then laughs and slams the food onto the customers head, prompting her to drive away. SpongeBob, now finally at wit's end, marches up to FitzPatrick:
SpongeBob:
Okay, that is it Patrick! You have been acting like this all day, what's happened?
FitzPatrick:
Nothin', I'm just havin' some fun, somethin' you certainly have no idea about.
SpongeBob:
How dare you? I know all about fun.
FitzPatrick:
Yeah right, ya think this stinky old grease trap is fun!
SpongeBob now fuming with anger storms away from FitzPatrick.
SpongeBob:
I'm going on my lunch break.
SpongeBob then storms out of the restaurant but collides with the real Patrick, who was running towards the restaurant.
Patrick:
SpongeBob!
SpongeBob:
Oh look who it is, Mr. Fake-Friend.
Patrick:
What?
SpongeBob:
Don't play dumb with me, you've been acting like a jerk all day! What's happened?
Patrick:
I don't know why your.......
Patrick trails off and remembers what FitzPatrick said to him earlier. Realizing what he meant, he turns to SpongeBob.
Patrick:
SpongeBob you have to listen. That wasn't me, it was FitzPatrick!
SpongeBob:
Who?
Patrick:
FitzPatrick, my evil cousin. He's stealing my identity and ruining my life.
SpongeBob:
Oh come on, Patrick, of all the excuses that was us by far the.....
SpongeBob turns back and notices through the window what FitzPatrick was inside pantsing Mr. Krabs. He then looks back to Patrick notices they were in different places at the same time.
SpongeBob:
Okay, it looks like there's two of you, so prove your the real Patrick.
Patrick:
Oh ugh....... I know.
Patrick shows SpongeBob his best friends forever ring and turns it on. SpongeBob then turns on his own ring and holds it to Patrick's. As the song in the rings closes, SpongeBob immediately breaks in tears of joy.
SpongeBob:
Oh Patrick it is you..........which means FitzPatrick is inside and is about to get you fired!
Patrick:
On no, we've gotta stop him.
Inside the Krusty Krab, Mr. Krabs is pulling up his pants and angrily glares at FitzPatrick while Squidward holds a wide grin.
Mr. Krabs:
Alright Patrick, for insulting me customers and pullin' down me pants, I have no choice lad. Your fir.....
Before Mr. Krabs could finish the sentence SpongeBob and Patrick burst through the door. Everyone stares in shock at the two Patricks in the room.
Patrick:
Wait! That's not Patrick, I am!
FitzPatrick:
He be lying, I'm the real Patrick:
Patrick:
Oh it's on, cousin!
Patrick runs towards FitzPatrick and jumps towards him. FitzPatrick jumps forward and engages in combat with Patrick the two grapple and roll around, thrashing the Krusty Krab.
Mr. Krabs:
Which one is real? They both look the same.
Patrick:
I'm the real Patrick!
FitzPatrick:
No I be the real Patrick!
Patrick:
No I am!
FitzPatrick:
No I am!
Both:
No I am!
The rest of the Krusty Krew is given a headache at the argument.
SpongeBob:
How do we tell which is real?
Squidward:
I don't know, which ever is the bigger idiot.
SpongeBob:
That's it!
The two Patricks then stop and notice SpongeBob had a plan.
SpongeBob:
I'm gonna ask a question only the real Patrick could answer. What is two x plus twenty seven minus five equals one hundred and eighty?
Patrick hears the question and begins struggling to answer. FitzPatrick on the other hand raises his hand confidently.
FitzPatrick:
That's too easy, the answer is seventy nine.
SpongeBob then smirks and points to the still-struggling Patrick.
SpongeBob:
Ha that's the real Patrick!
FitzPatrick:
Huh?
SpongeBob:
Everyone knows Patrick always got F-minuses in algebra.
Patrick then angrily stares and grabs hold of FitzPatrick, throwing him into the air. FitzPatrick's underwear gets caught on one of the ceiling beams and Patrick grabs his legs. SpongeBob, Squidward and Mr. Krabs then also grab hold and pull back on him like a slingshot.
FitzPatrick:
Wait! Let me go! Imagine not done ruining Patrick's life!
The Krusty Krew then release FitzPatrick and he is launched through the roof and out of Bikini Bottom. The whole Krusty Krew then laughs at the ordeal unfolded.
To be continued