"....what?"
What did she mean not today? What was wrong with Pavitr? I needed to see him. Make sure he's ok.
"He's not in the mood for visitors" she frowned emphatically. I could see in her eyes the putty she had for me. She could tell how much I wanted to she him. I could also tell she wouldn't be telling me why he won't see me.
"Oh... ok.. well-.. could you maybe tell him I stopped by?" My heart felt shattered. I felt like crying. He didn't want to see me? I get it's not me in specific but it still hurts...
His aunt nods and closes the door. I didn't know what to do. I can't go home... I physically couldn't. I just stood there dumbfounded. Staring at the closed door.
I wish id at least turned around to go because ten seconds later the door opened the door again looking at me surprised. My face flushed and for some reason I decide waving would break the tension. It only made me feel more uncomfortable.
"Oh-! Just who I was looking for." This time she smiled at me, genuinely. "Pavitr just told me he's ok with seeing you!" She moved aside gesturing me inside. She seemed very cheery- likely taking this as some kind of sign he's feeling better, whatever it is that's got him down.
I was a bit shocked that she even opened the door again but after only a quick pause I went inside.
"He's in his room. Do you want anything before you head up?"
"Um- no thanks..." I give her a quick nervous smile before slowly climbing the stairs.
My heart thumped in my ears and my chest rose and fell quickly with silent breaths. Why was I so nervous?
I stood outside his door. I couldn't bring myself to knock it. I was scared. Scared of what might be wrong with him. Scared he might change his mind and kick me out. Scared to be around him at all.
I'm not afraid of him. He's too sweet for that. I was just suddenly nervous to be near him.
I take a breath to calm myself and knock on his door. From the other side I hear a mumble of what I assume was a 'come in'.
I cracked the door open peeking in my head. "Pavitr?.."
A sad balled up body was curled under his sheets and it heaved when he sighed.
"Yyyy/nn" he whined.
He sounded so distressed. A maternal feeling washed over me. As of this moment all I wanted was to make him feel better. Console him.
Gayatri must've told him...
I sigh empathetically and slid in through the door closing it lightly behind me. I sat next to him on the edge of his bed and put a comforting hand on his arm. He looked over his shoulder at me with a broken heart.
"Hey, what's the matter?" I used a soft voice wanting to be as gentle as possible with him. He seemed so fragile like this.
He sniffled and turned over completely to face me. "Y/n......" he pouted, eyes darting from the floor to my eyes. "Gaya.... She broke up with me" his eyes paused looking deep into mine. I frown with sympathy. I moved my hand from his arm to brush his hair out his face the rest it on his cheek caressing it with my thumb.
I didn't know what to say. All I could do was try and show him some kind of affection and hope it makes him feel better.
Our eye contact lingered. His knitted eyebrows softened at my touch.
He looked so breakable- like a porcelain doll.
Which only made my blood boil for Gayatri. She did this. Yes, she had to break up with him or give up her side thing and tell him about it- but something told me he was in the dark about her cheating. He must think he just wasn't good enough for her.
I wanted him to know she wasn't good enough for him.
We sat in silence for a bit when he started to cry. "Y/n...." My face subconsciously mirrored his. I leaned down and hugged him.
He immediately leaned into me the second my arms wrapped around him. The tears were now flowing as he sobbed in my arms.
"Pavitr... I'm so sorry...." I whispered into his shoulder.
"Y/n.... Please don't leave...."
And I didn't.
After a good second, when he started to calm down, I pulled back a bit, still holding him. I wiped his tears with my thumb. I wanted to kiss his cheek. Tell him it'd be alright.. but that felt inappropriate for the situation so I with held.
"Y/n..." he whispered my name again, "could you.... Can you... can we..."
My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to guess what he needed me to do.
"..........can you.. h-hold me...? I swear it's not weird I just... don't wanna be alone... right now..." he looked down, too shy to look me in the eyes.
A guilty feeling of joy overwhelmed me. He's hurting and I'm focusing on the fact he practically asked me to cuddle him.
I nod doing my best to hide my excitement as I lie next to him and pull him into my arms.
My body tingled when I felt his face nuzzle into my neck. I had to force myself not to shiver.
He feels so nice... so cozy... so warm...
His hair smelt like coconuts and his skin is so soft...
I sighed, letting all my worries from earlier dissipate.
As of this moment, all I could think of was Pavitr.
How soft and warm his skin was, how his wet lashes tickled my neck, his hot breath making me want to shiver again...
I listened as his breathing softened and felt his chest press against mine when he inhaled.
To add on to this incredible experience, I could feel his heart beat ever so slightly.
I felt dizzy.
This was so calming yet overwhelming. My face was burning hot. I wanted to stay here as long as possible.
After a moment, as he become more comfortable and safe in my arms he gently draped his arm over my waist.
".....thank you.." he mumbled softly into my collarbone.
I didn't know how I felt at this point. I felt sad for him but also a consuming feeling of love. His small act made my whole body warm and made me feel so loved I actually wanted to cry.
Maybe it was just me being touch starved but it felt like more than that. I never wanted him to let go.
Unfortunately, the time to leave came all too soon.
About 15 minutes later his aunt peeked in through the door. Her voice was careful and soft as if a single harsh noise could shatter Pavitr.
"Y/n? It's time to go honey, your auntie and uncle are wondering where you are."
The last thing I wanted was to let go of Pavitr. I wanted to hold him and protect him from any harm for as long as I lived. But I don't have the option to do that as a teenager. I had people who still worried about me too.
I looked back at Pavitr who had peacefully drifted off to sleep. I gave his hair a soft rub with my thumb and carefully slipped out from under his arm. His face twitched but besides that he was left undisturbed.
☆
By the time I got home I had to explain to a slightly frustrated auntie and uncle why I'd been gone so long without notice over dinner. They felt sympathy for Pavitr but I was still left with consequences.
From now on I'd have to let them know when I was leaving the house and when I'd be back and if I returned later than the agreed time without notice I'd be grounded.
Felt fair enough but was still annoying- my hope is that I'll still be able to be Spider-Girl without struggling to get out the house.
I'll probably get by.
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IM SO SORRY YOU GUYS! I just lost motivation to write 😔 also, I literally had more than half of this written sitting in drafts for forever cuz it just feels lengthy and not very interesting so lmk what you think
ALSO!! 10k reads!!??? That's acc crazy but thank you guys 🫵💋
TOODLES FOR NOW :D