Mattheo Riddle (tw: overdosing, if u struggle at all or have the thought of overdosing please contact www.wannatalkaboutit.com)
everythings okay again.
i think.
madeleine came back, and its been a week since what happened.
she hasn't really opened up about him, and im not gonna force her to.
when she wants to talk, ill listen. if she doesn't, she doesn't.
im so scared to make her feel uncomfortable or scared around me because of my father, i hate how he did this to her.
how she flinches when i wrap my arms around her, how shes silent.. i know shes trying, but it cant be that easy.
i hope shes okay, i cant loose her that easily again.
-
Madeleine Black
mattheo left my room to get me some food at the dining hall.. and it was time to take some medicine and pills madam pomfrey gave me.
i walked inside the bathroom, flicking the light on and opening the cabinet, pulling out two small bottles and a small cup.
i inhaled a sharp breath, opening the first bottle and pouring the pink liquid into the small cup.
i looked up at myself in the mirror, seeing my weak body covered in cuts and bruises.
i felt my eyes tear up, i felt disgusting.
fuck this shit.
i took a long breath, quickly chugging the medicine and scrunching my face in disgust.
i quickly placed the cup down, wiping my lip with my hand, then looking down at it and seeing a long cut across.
i felt my hands shake as i slowly lower it, looking at the medicine bottle and the small cup.
drink once a day.
once a day..
once..
i quickly grabbed the cup, pouring more of the pink liquid inside of it, then quickly taking it down.
and again..
and again..
and again.
i felt my body heat up and my head quickly go light.
i shut my eyes tightly, dropping the empty bottle in my hand on the floor, trying to get my breathing back to normal.
'shit..' i mumble, fluttering my eyes open and looking in the mirror.. seeing my blurry vision go black every couple of seconds.
i quickly grab the pill bottle, snatching it off the counter and walking out of the bathroom, sitting on the floor and supporting my body on my bed.
i quickly twist the lid of the bottle, flicking it somewhere in the room.
i know i shouldn't do this.. but i cant do this shit anymore.
i cant go to bed without seeing their face.. their hands on me..
i cant.
i pour a bunch of pills into the palm of my hand, staring at it as my hand shook.
suddenly the door open and mattheo came in with a tray of food, looking down at the food.
'madeleine i got-' he said before quickly cutting himself off once he saw the pills in my hand.
'angel.' he breathed our, quickly placing the tray down.
'i cant do this anymore mattheo.' i cry out, holding the pills tightly in my shaky hands as i look at him with teary eyes.
'okay, hold on. we can talk.' he quickly said, placing the tray on the floor.
'can you give me the rest and the bottle?' he asked, slowly walking to me, getting down on his knees.
i stared down at the pills, not answering him. my ears were ringing and i could barely hear anything.
my head hurt so bad and i felt like my heart as gonna explode out of my chest, my body quickly heating up.
'im sorry..' i mumble, a tear falling down my cheek.
-
Mattheo Riddle.
'im sorry.' she mumbled quietly.
'my love, stop. please just give me them.' i said, not wanting to face the fact shes trying to overdose.
'im so sorry.' she quietly sobs, shutting her eyes tightly.
'please just give me the pills.' i breathe out, holding out my hand.
she looks at my hand, with teary eyes, shaking her head.
she quickly opened her hand, full of the pills and quickly shoving them in her mouth, some of them falling on her lap.
'madeleine!' i quickly scream, grabbing her fave roughly and opening her mouth full of pills, hoping i wont hurt her.
she lightly gagged, trying to take them down.
'madeleine spit it out, please!' i cry out, shaking.
she coughed and choked, but never spat it out.
'madeleine!'
-
i looked up from my book, turning my head towards madeleine who fell asleep on my shoulder.
shes been theough a lot today, and im not gonna force her to tell me why she did what she did..
god i cant even say it.
im so worried about her, shes never been the type for wanting to commit suicide in any way.
i love her so much, but now im scared to leave her alone.
what id she tries something else? what did my father do to her to make her want to kill herself so bad?
-
Madeleine Black
i stared at the ceiling, blinking.
i dont even wanna talk about what happened last night..
what was going through my mind..
my body still felt sore, but i could manage a little pain here and there.
i turned my head slightly to face mattheo, who was dead asleep next to me.
i licked my dry lips, watching him sleep peacefully like nothing happened.
i hate myself. i hate how i wanted to end everything.
leave everyone on their own without me.. i wasn't even thinking.
now no one trust me alone.
god i wish i did end it.
-
'are you gonna come?' mattheo ask, turning around to face me.
'yeah i just- need to change. you can go wait for me.' i smile.
'wait? i've seen you naked before.' he softly chuckles.
'i just..' i tried to finish my sentence but i couldn't make up a lie.
madam pomfrey gave me bruise removal paste and some other things that i never used, i just couldn't.
i didnt want mattheo to know about that, the way it was so stupid.
'just?' he asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
'if its about your bruises they should be gone by now.' he said, walking to me.
'i haven't been using it.' i blurted out.
'what?'
'i haven't been using the paste.' i mumble, shaking my leg.
'why not?'
'i just.. cant look at them.' i replied, shaking my head. 'they just bring back everything that happened.'
'i can help.' he said, softly smiling. 'where is it?'
'uhm, bottom dresser.' i said, looking over at the white dresser.
mattheo nodded, walking to it and opening the bottom drawer, pulling out the untouched paste and closing the drawer, walking back to me.
'can you show me where the bruises are?' he asked, opening the tube.
i inhale a sharp breath, lifting up my shirt and taking it off, leaving me in just a bra and bruises around my stomach.
'here.' he said calmly, placing some paste on a single finger and wiping it onto the delicate skin.
i didnt know what to say or do, i felt ashamed. like a baby, not able to do stuff on her own.
i stayed silent, sucking in my cheek as he rubbed the paste over each bruise on my skin, whispering words of affirmation and smiling at me.
i knew he was trying his hardest.
and i love him for that.
'i love you.' he said, looking up at me. i look back into his big brown eyes, softly smiling.
'and- i wish i could've stopped this from happening to you. i hate that i let it happen.' he breathes out.
'its not your fault.'
'it is.'
'its not, it never will be. i love you.' i smile, trying to get this off of his mind..
knowing that it'll be stuck in mine.
-
a week later..
'are you sure you should have more?' pansy asked worried as i rolled up another joint.
'im fine, this is how i cope.' i shrug, walking to the counter and grabbing a lighter, quickly lighting it before more questions were asked.
i heard the door open to the common room as i inhaled the smoke, feeling it fill up my lungs as i blew the remaining out.
'hey gorgeous.' mattheo smiles, walking to me and wrapping his arms around my waist.
blaise walks in behind him and sits down with the others as they talked, it was just me and mattheo in our own little world.
'hi.' i lightly smile, handing him the joint. he smirks and took it from my hand.
'how are you?' he asked, placing the joint between his lips as his cheeks hollowed.
'im good.' i lied, smiling.
'i have a suprised for you.' mattheo smirked, softly kissing me on the lips.
'oh yeah? what kind of suprise?'
'just follow me.' he hums, grabbing my hand and leading me out of the common rooms.
'i cant leave the others.' i chuckle.
'they'll be fine, they got blaise to entertain them.' he said, still leading me around the hallway.
'where are we going?' i lightly laugh as he led me outside in the dark cold.
'just watch.' he hums.
mattheo led me up the astronomy tower, up the long stairs.
we finally made it to the top while some small questioning and laughing and i was in immediate awe.
around the railing was small fairy lights, a small blanket layed out and one tiny fluffy pillow.
this boys gonna be the death of me some day.
'mattheo.' i mumble, feeling tears form in my eyes. 'this is so sweet.'
'you'd had a really rough couple of weeks, i wanted to do something that i knew would cheer you up.' he shrugs, scratching his hand nervously.
'thank you so much.' i smile.
'i love you.'
-
happy chapters r coming back 🥳 only cuz i miss maddy n matt 😔
words: 1660