"Are you seriously going for another burger?"
I flicked my ears in alarm and turned around at the voice I heard behind me, and I found I was already trying to keep my temper as I met the single amber eye of Fury. "I could've sworn that I saw you eat an entire cheeseburger earlier," she then muttered, her eye narrowing.
I simply stared back at the larger she-cat for a moment, eventually deciding to let the second cheeseburger that was in my jaws fall down to my paws. "You swear correctly," I replied to Fury tautly. "But I wasn't going to eat this one. I was... actually going to..."
I then hoped that I was covering my panic and irritation as I tried to whip up some excuse. "...get rid of it," I then meowed as nonchalantly as I could. "It's smelling a little off, so I thought I'd take it out."
"Okay..." Fury murmured, her expression not changing one bit, to my dismay. "Then why did you drop it as soon as I asked you about it?"
I stared at the tabby dubiously for yet another moment. "...it was heavy?"
With a reply like that, I honestly half expected Fury to drag Scourge from wherever he was in the forest and ask him to kick my thistlefluffed brain out of this Clan.
But instead, she simply stared blankly back at me, eventually letting out a huff and shaking her head. "Whatever," she sighed as she then began to pad away. "Fine, then get rid of it. Hopefully that first burger you ate wasn't bad too."
For a moment, I tried my best to remain in place as I watched Fury walk out of my sight. However, as soon as she was, I snatched the burger I had dropped right back into my jaws and proceeded to bolt out of the BloodClan camp with everything that I had in me.
And once I was out, I turned left, ran past the building adjacent to the camp, and then turned the corner to ensure that no cat could see me.
I then practically skidded to a stop, crouching down next to a trash can and setting the burger down in front of my paws. No, Fury, that first burger was not bad at all...
I then looked down at the burger at my paws as I licked my lips. And neither is this one... I thought excitedly before proceeding to fully devour it, probably more ravenously than I'd ever eaten anything in my entire life.
And it felt like only a few heartbeats later that the burger was then completely gone, to me and my stomach's complete sadness. I had never wished more badly that I could go back in time and reexperience anything.
Instead I was lying by that trash can, empty-pawed and still completely amazed by the huge appetite I had been experiencing lately. Nothing I eat ever feels like enough, I thought to myself in frustration. I could eat everything and it would still feel like I've eaten absolutely nothing!
It was already completely frustrating on its own, but the fact that cats were now beginning to notice made things even worse. Fury certainly was bold to question my eating choices, but I should only expect so much from these cats I'm living with... I then told myself. But goodness, who was she to tell me that it was okay for me to get rid of the burger?
I then couldn't help but let out a small hiss of frustration as I continued to think about that one-eyed she-cat, who really seemed to think she was in charge when both Scourge and Bone were out of camp. Which, unfortunately, was now happening more and more often.
I didn't think it was possible, but things had seemed to get even more serious with the task in the forest, causing Scourge to make himself scarce more than ever, and causing him to bring Bone with him now every so often.
But despite this, I was all the more clueless and uninformed.
With my annoyingly curious head, of course I had tried to get more out of Scourge, but all that the black tom ever did was continue to be so incredibly vague and annoyed that I would even ask. But... simultaneously he was so confident and reassuring that I felt like I didn't need to or shouldn't ask him about it at all.
Sure, of course I felt a bit hurt that he for some reason felt that he couldn't give me more information, but I suppose I just had to understand that some of what he did as BloodClan leader was beyond my understanding.
However, I wanted to understand, and I was still crazy curious.
Luckily for Scourge, there truthfully was hardly ever time to press him about it anymore, even if I wanted to. Scourge was leaving our den so early in the day and returning so late at night that it would only leave us a few moments to talk before we both went to sleep, ready to repeat the same routine the next day. As one would expect, this wasn't fun for me, for several reasons.
But most of all, what was terrifying and mind-boggling to me was the fact that Scourge still had no idea about the new life that I currently carried in my belly.
I then flicked my ears once again, now practically frozen in my spot as this thought seemed to hit me like a monster – just like it had every time I had thought about it for the last few quarter moons.
And the fact that it made my appetite as large as a Twoleg building certainly wasn't helping matters, I suppose.
I was going to have a kit... or many kits, maybe. I was carrying them in my belly right now, and they would eventually have to come out and live in this world, with me as their mother. And... Scourge as their father...
I hated that I couldn't enjoy the thought nearly as much as I wanted to. In fact, for the most part I had felt nothing but fear and terror. I was a fully grown cat, sure, but at the same time, any cat would think that I was young to be a mother. I'm not ready to be a mother!
Then, as my thoughts began to dive into even more fear and terror, I forced myself to take a deep breath and give a shake of my head. But who ever does feel fully ready to be a mother? I'm still going to take care of this kit, or kits, to the best of my ability.
But with the next thought that came into my head, my anxious thoughts came to the forefront all over again. But what about Scourge?
I hadn't told the BloodClan leader partly because I hadn't had the chance to, sure, but also, it was partly by choice simply because I was terrified to. I hated to admit it, but I would have been amazed if the tom actually reacted positively.
And with how spotty he had been lately, when would he have time to care for it? When... when would he actually want to care for it?
I then felt I had to screw my eyes shut as I felt my thoughts begin to spiral all over again and my anxiety give me a stomachache, and without thinking I found that my tail was wrapping around my own belly. Goodness gracious, is my extra long fur quite the benefit right now...
I had been genuinely shocked that no cat had directly questioned me about my very swollen stomach. Not that I wanted them to at all, however, with how far along I had calculated that I was, I had prepared for questions this late in the game...
I then let out a long sigh and forced myself to stand up. But questions or no questions, I have to tell Scourge eventually, I then told myself, as much as it filled me with dread. Before it's too late... No matter how the tom reacted, these kits were his – I unfortunately was very sure of that.
I then closed my eyes, forcing myself to take a deep breath that hopefully wouldn't absorb too many of the stenches from the trash can right beside me. Okay... I then said to myself as I tried to center my thoughts. I will tell Scourge the next time I see him. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
But just a moment later, I found myself having to hold back an anxious whimper. But my gosh, how is he going to react?
I then practically felt as if I was in an internal war with myself as I then brought myself to leave the trash can that was next to me, and begin to walk deeper into the Twolegplace, my head held high. Mist, calm down. You will cross that bridge when you get there.
I then slightly slowed down my pace, having to lick my lips once again as I realized I could already smell the amazing aroma from the Twoleg meat building up ahead. For now, I'm going to take a walk and try to find something new to eat!
I then barred my own teeth, as if to shield my own tongue from coming out again. For someone else this time, I then tried to tell myself. I really do need to stop hogging the food...
~>~>~>~>~>~
The sun was already low in the sky, pretty much disappeared with the stars beginning to make their appearance by the time I returned to the BloodClan camp – two of what I now knew to be called "hot dogs" stuck between my jaws.
It was honestly so indescribably hard to not eat both of them right then and there. I had been having to tell myself throughout my entire expedition that these catches were not going to be mine to eat.
But my goodness, did I wish that they were. At this point, it had felt like a lot more effort than it was worth to get them... and double the time. This was because, unfortunately for me, I think I was becoming significantly more tired, weak, and... heavy with the new weight I was carrying.
But all of that quickly became the least of my worries by the time I walked into camp, my eyes immediately falling on the black pelt and white paws of Scourge, who seemed to be having a word with Bone just a little ways away from our den.
My stomach immediately dropped – luckily not literally – as I realized what the tom's arrival meant.
And as nervous as I was to give him the news that I decided that I would give him earlier today, I also was so, so glad to see him, and honestly wanted to try and make another attempt at trying to get more information from him. Maybe I can find out what is making it so hard to tell him such vital news...
And thank goodness, just as I began to pad in that direction, Scourge seemed to end his conversation with Bone, his blue eyes dark as he briefly watched the larger tom pad away to his own sleeping spot.
He was just beginning to turn to pad into our den when I quickly put down my two hot dogs and ran ahead to catch him. "Hey, there!"
I then came to an abrupt halt beside the BloodClan leader, quickly realizing just how out of breath I was just from that small trek and trying to hide it. "Hey, welcome back!"
To my surprise, Scourge looked surprised and alarmed, giving a blink as he stared back at me. "Hey, where have you been?" he asked in bewilderment.
I briefly glanced over my shoulder, flicking my tail towards my two catches that I had managed to snatch from the Twoleg meat place. "I was out getting some more food," I answered the tom before flashing him a confused, but teasing glance. "Am I not allowed to leave?"
Scourge let out a huff at that and gave a roll of his eyes. "That's not what I meant. Come on, Mist," he then groaned.
"Well, good," I muttered before then giving him a flick on the ear with my tail. "Because I was going to say, you'd really be one to talk!"
"Hey!" Scourge quickly barked back, honestly startling me. "You know that what I'm doing is a lot more important than getting food."
I then couldn't help but let out a contemptuous snort, though my tone was still lighthearted as I then meowed, "Well, how do I really know? I still have no idea what exactly you're doing while you're gone!"
But nevertheless, Scourge seemed to give me a hard stare for a few moments after that. "When did this turn into an interrogation?"
I tilted my head to the side, slightly confused. "When you asked me where I have been..."
I then raised my eyebrows, shocked once again, when Scourge broke his gaze away from me and let out a hiss. "Don't be stupid, Mist," he then muttered through gritted teeth. "You're the one trying to mess with me here."
I then couldn't help but let out a taken aback gasp at the tom's words. "By asking you what you're doing in the forest when I still don't know?"
"It's nothing you need to worry about!" he then insisted me to, his gaze now sharp and his fur slightly bristled as he looked back at me. "It's being taken care of!"
"Goodness, that's what you always say!" I then replied in complete exasperation. I then forced myself to take a step toward Scourge, my eyes narrowing. "It's being taken care of for quite a long time, isn't it?"
Scourge also took a step towards me, and I was able to get a closer look at his blazing blue eyes. "Mist, I've already told you, what I'm taking care of could make BloodClan stronger than it's ever been. That should be all of the information that you need."
"Well, it isn't," I barked back at Scourge, deciding to push a little harder with my questioning this time around. "How hard is it for you to tell me exactly what you and Bone are doing out in the forest? What's actually happening that will eventually make BloodClan stronger?"
I then raised my eyebrows as Scourge then gave a shrug, sitting down in front of me. "Maybe I would consider telling you if you didn't act like a burr in my fur every time I came back from doing it!"
I actually very visibly winced at those words, and Scourge's words managed to hurt even more knowing that he could see that they affected me so much. "Whoa, excuse me?" I tried to force out in a tone that was more angry than upset. "I... I thought that was something you were going to try and tolerate."
"Well, sometimes you make that a little difficult," Scourge then replied coldly, with an expression that was just as cold.
And with that, I found that I couldn't speak immediately. Sure, Scourge had definitely berated me every time I tried to speak with him about his intentions in the forest, but this night had definitely been like no other, and it almost left me shaking with confusion, anger and hurt all at once.
"Well, I'm sorry to hear that..." I then eventually murmured as I looked down at my paws, not being able to stand looking back at that cold gaze anymore. "Whatever, you don't have to tell me anything, just... stop treating me like a three moon old kit."
I then slightly lifted my gaze, watching as Scourge stood up, his gaze still burning into my head. "I will when you stop acting like one," he then muttered before turning away and beginning to pad towards the den once again.
And I found that all I could do was continue to stand there, my heart feeling hollow and my head swirling with thoughts as the tom brushed past me and out of my peripheral vision. And though my mind was spiraling with these thoughts of hurt and confusion, the camp was deadly silent, and all I could hear were Scourge's pawsteps at his point.
So, I was surprised to say the least when I suddenly heard them stop. "Are you coming in?" I then heard the tom hiss quietly.
Despite the hope that was already beginning to rise in my chest, I didn't look back at him. "What?"
"It's getting late," Scourge whispered again, only a slight edge to his voice. "Aren't you coming into the den?"
I then slightly looked over my shoulder, my eyebrows raised as my eyes fell back on Scourge, who surely enough was waiting right next to our den expectantly. He really wants me in there right now?
And as hope continued to rush through my blood, I found myself slowly standing up and trying to pad over as lightly as I could to join Scourge. I... guess he wants me in there right now. "Yes, I'm coming in," I whispered back to Scourge as I then crawled through its entrance.
And as I made my way inside, despite how pleased I was that our tiff hadn't left Scourge too angry with me, I tried to tell myself that I was probably going to give the BloodClan leader some space tonight; maybe sleep about a tail-length away from him. If it wasn't obvious already, after how he had reacted to my questioning, I was shocked that he even wanted to be around me right now, and figured that'd be best.
But as I was about to pad around and search for a spot, I let out a gasp as I nearly tripped on something below me. To my complete surprise, I looked down to see another cheeseburger on the floor of Scourge's den, just next to where the two of us usually slept. "Oh, did you get yourself some dinner on the way back from the forest?" I asked Scourge.
I slightly looked over my shoulder back at the tom as he made his own way into the den. "Oh, I got it for the both of us, actually," he answered, causing me to be filled with even more ease.
I then watched as he settled down in front of the burger and lashed his tail towards it. "Have you eaten anything today?"
I followed Scourge's tail, my mouth quickly beginning to water as my eyes fell on the large, scrumptious, delicious-looking burger that was in front of me.
Of course, my truthful answer to Scourge would be that yes, I had eaten plenty today – two burgers. Any cat would think that was ridiculous.
Which is why it almost immediately hit me that answering Scourge's question would be the perfect lead into being able to tell him my news... our news. But...
I quickly was overwhelmed with dread as I came to that realization. I had been dreading it already, but after what had just happened, it all felt even worse. After the argument we just had, and how mad I made Scourge... I seriously wonder if right now is a good time to give him news like this.
I then took a deep breath, actually feeling a bit more at ease with this decision. Clearly, Scourge had another busy day in the forest that left him stressed and irritated. This would likely be the last thing he'd want to hear right now.
I then let my eyes close for just a moment. It can wait another day. "No, I haven't, actually," I finally answered to Scourge. "I'm absolutely starving."
I then let out a sigh, ignoring the guilt that tugged at me as I settled down next to Scourge. The last part wasn't a lie, at least.
And luckily, my guilt only lasted for a moment, and was replaced with even more ease and satisfaction as Scourge then wrapped his tail around my back and pushed the burger towards me – having no idea that this was going to be my third burger of the day.