***not edited
Kalen POV:
A bright light assaulted my vision as my eyes opened, causing me to wince. I recoiled back into the fabric encasing me. I groaned from the aching pain resting behind my eyes, only growing worse after the invasion of light. I pressed the heels of my palms into my eyelids, not only for relief from pain but also relief from the images lingering from my nightmare.
The fire.
I could feel a soft yet firm pressure under my body as I came to. My skin was wrapped in a smooth fabric I could only assume was silk. I tugged on the fabric until it gave, to cover half my face from the light filtering through the windows to my left. Once I was able to open my eyes I took in the space around me.
The sheets were a dark grey silk fabric, lightweight and cool. The bed under me was massive. I felt small and frail while lying directly in the middle of the bed, drowning in a sea of darkness. Directly above me was a glass chandelier, accented in gold. The glass pieces reflected light in every direction, making the material glow like fire-
The nightmare flashed through my memory and I squeezed my eyes shut to push it away, turning my head further into the sheet covering me. I noticed a soft voice speaking, but the direction was hard for me to gauge. The room must be large because the sound reverberated around the space endlessly like a thousand people stood around the bed whispering to me.
It made my skin feel cold.
Suddenly, I was painfully aware that I wasn't lying in my bed. These weren't my sheets wrapped around me, warm and fuzzy. These sheets were cold. The light barging into the room wasn't coming through my bedroom windows. These windows were big, reaching from the floor to the ceiling with dark, thick curtains pushed to the sides. The chandelier hanging above me, reminding me of last night's nightmare, wasn't one I recognized.
The space around me was not my own.
Now I was no longer just cold, but I was sweating too. Is that possible? To shiver from the chill in your bones but sweat from the dread in your heart? Every inch of my nervous system screamed to take flight. I wasn't safe.
I will never be safe again, I thought intrusively.
Even though my instinct was to run, to get far from the light, the cold, the unknown, I couldn't. I was stuck. The fear was stronger than the dread, the anxiousness. I was stuck.
The whispering continued. Further now- or closer. I couldn't tell. Everything sounded staticky, almost unreal.
I forced my eyes open, destined to watch the next events unfold in front of me.
Across the overly large room, there were two men, standing together in the doorway, speaking softly. In my position, tucked into the bed lying on my side, I was oblivious to the majority of the room. I could see the men though, as they talked.
One was shorter, probably shorter than me, and older. He had grey hairs tangled between his dark brown ones. He was facing into the bedroom, showing me his complete profile. The older man had signs of aging littered over his facial features. The other man faced him, showing me his back. They both wore suits, but the man facing me carried a briefcase with him too.
The words echoing between them finally started making sense, and I could make out what they were saying.
"I would just give him the day. It was a pretty severe panic attack, but nothing to worry yourself over," the older man spoke. "Be sure he eats well and gets plenty of water, he should feel back to normal by tomorrow," he instructed.
I creased my brow in confusion, watching the two men shake hands. I noticed the taller man, whose back was turned to me, had tattoos crawling from under his sleeve, overtaking the skin on the back of his hands. I would recognize the ink anywhere.
The bedroom door shut behind the older gentleman as he left. The remaining man ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at the ends before turning his body in my direction. Our eyes met, and he froze mid-turn in surprise.
A moment passed before he spoke, soft and quiet, "You're awake."
The dread in my heart was gone but slowly it filled with anger. I was no longer afraid or stuck in place. I wanted to move. I wanted to yell. I wanted to punch and kick and scream.
I wanted to cry.
Because if he was here, then it was real.
The fire.
And, everything I had worked for, was gone.
I squeezed my eyes shut when I felt the familiar prickle of tears forming. I tried to breathe deep, to keep them abbey, with little success. Before the first tear could roll down my cheek, I heard the shuffling of the other man moving towards me.
I sat up lightening fast, eyes wide, hand outstretched to motion the man to stop. With my back pressed against the headboard of the overly large bed, he watched me intently, frozen in place.
"No- don't," I begged.
Again, the tears formed, this time quicker than I could react. Trials began sliding down and I held my breath to avoid making pathetic noises.
"Kalen," his voice barely audible. It sounded sweet and concerned. Two things I knew this man was incapable of being.
"No!" I barked out, a loud sob following. I dragged my knees to my chest. "No, Sorren," I pleaded, my voice breaking midway.
His face shifted into what I could only place as pain, but he didn't move.
"You don't get to. You don't get to come back!" My voice wavered through the tears. "You left me. Without any explanation, you were just gone. You can't just keep popping in and out of my life of your own free will!"
"I know-"
"I'm a person!" I yelled, throwing my hands in the air. "I'm a p-person...with feelings a-and emotions and-" another sob wracked through me. I covered my face with my hands, crying into them.
"I'm. A. Person," I hiccupped.
"Kalen, please. I'm so sorry," Sorren began.
I shook my head, burying my face further, uninterested in his pleas for forgiveness. There was no excuse good enough.
I felt his fingers graze across my arm, and I flinched away. My hands dropped from my face so I could glare up at him. His eyes were wide in shock, and his hand was inches from my skin. As I pushed myself up from the mattress, I swatted his hand away. I crowded into his personal space as I rose from the bed, and he fumbled backward to give me room. Before I knew it, I was shoving him back, hands against his chest.
"Don't!" I screamed. My hands came back the second time as fists, landing against his chest in fury.
"Do not apologize." Push. "You don't get to apologize." Push. "You don't get to feel better about yourself." Push. "You don't get off that easy."
Suddenly his fingers were wrapped around my wrists, holding me steady. My eyes searched his in panic, but they only screamed with sadness- or maybe pity. Maybe he pitied the boy he broke, now that I stood in front of him. He had to witness the damage he caused, and now he pitied what was left behind.
Rage boiled under my skin, filling my blood. I yanked my hands, in an attempt to free them, but the other man was stronger. He held me in place.
"You left me," I seethed, pushing closer to him. "You left me alone."
He opened his mouth, mostly likely to spill more false apologies, but I didn't let him.
"You...you left me. And, I had to deal with that- with being alone, alone." I shook my head, eyes set on our hands instead of his eyes. Eyes I knew were waiting to tell me lies.
"And before...before I was fine with being alone. I'd always been alone- but then I wasn't. I wasn't alone anymore because I had you...and then...suddenly I didn't. I didn't have you anymore and now...now I-I don't know how to be alone," I ranted.
I shook my head, feeling the tears still flowing but the anger was subsiding. Sorren's grip loosened enough for me to slip free. It gave me the chance to put much-needed space between me and the other man.
"And, now I really am alone...because it's all gone, Sorren."
When my knees buckled under me, I caught myself on the edge of the bed. Before I could register it, Sorren was above me. He helped me get situated on the bed again, with no protest from me. Through all the anger, regret, sadness, and despair I could feel the exhaustion settling in. I'd let him help me, but just this once.
Never again would I put my trust in him.
"We'll figure all that out when you're awake again, dolcezza. The doctor gave you some medicine, so you might feel weak," the older man explained as he pulled the sheet over me. "Please, I need you to rest. I'll take care of everything else, just rest..."
I could feel my eyelids growing heavy and my thoughts blurring together. Whatever medicine the doctor gave me must have been a strong dose. I could feel Sorren pull his body away from me. The areas of my skin his hands once were touching now felt cold. As he tilted his weight to the edge of the bed, I reached out to grip his forearm.
"Why?"
When given no response, I peeked up at him with hooded eyes. His perfect features were twisted in confusion as he looked down at me.
In truth, I would give nothing more than to be lying next to this man in bed, pressing my face into his chest while I sobbed away all the pain. He would tell me it was all okay and I would believe him. In another life, maybe that's what would have happened, but not this one.
"Why did you leave?"
As I closed my eyes, I felt the weight of him dip into the bed as he sat next to me. A moment passed, long enough for even me to think I was asleep before he spoke.
"I thought I was saving you from me..."
.x.
Okay, it's been such a long time since I've posted and I apologize.
I had promised to stick to a schedule but with life going on, that has become increasingly difficult. I think about this story constantly and I try to write as often as I can. However, I dislike posting a chapter just because there is a schedule if I think the writing is poor. Sooo, I've been putting off updates until I felt the story was right.
I will update going forward as the chapters are finished, so please follow for notifications!
What did you guys think about this chapter? I originally planned to include a whole lot more information in this chapter, but then noticed it was getting kind of long so I decided to split it up instead. How are we feeling about Kalen??