Evelyn Keaton hates the way she cries. Sure, she already hates everything about her and spends tons of nights crying while thinking about her body and her face, but she thinks nothing about herself is uglier than the way she cries. She hates how her teeth aren't perfectly straight or white, how her face isn't perfectly clear has always has at least one stubborn pimple on it, her nose it too big and the hook of it angers her to no ends, and she hates how "manly" the muscles on her body are.
But she hates nothing more than how she cries. It's ugly. It's so fucking ugly. Her face turned a bright red to the point where it seemed like she endlessly beat her face with blush that morning. Her frown was unusual and contorted in ways that made her look like a newborn baby. No matter how hard she tried to stop it there would always be a bit of snot dripping from her nose the harder she cried.
And yet no matter how hard Eve cried and how desperately she wanted it to stop and push it down, Eve couldn't stop herself from turning around. The sight in front of her would forever be tattooed in her brain. Charlie laid on the ground, ghostly pale with his eyes wide open. Ellie stood above him motionlessly staring at his unresponsive body. Eve couldn't even stop her legs from walking to her best friend's body and falling to her knees in front of it. "Charlie?" Eve choked out, mucus and a knot clogging her throat slightly. "Charlie, wake up."
Ellie's attention shifted from the faintest smile on what used to be her father's lips to the crying girl before her."Eve..." Saying this pained Ellie, but there was nothing that could save Charlie now. He had done it; he was dead. Charlie knew he couldn't improve himself, and that fateful night in the apartment where he first met Thomas made it absolutely clear. But the man wasn't going to go down quietly; it wasn't like him.. So instead he did something crazy... he shortened his life in order to save his daughter's. Since Charlie couldn't better himself and improve his own life, he did everything in his power to better Ellie, so she could live her own life in pure and utter happiness.
"No... He can't be." Eve reached her arms around his body in an impulsive movement, just wanting to be as close as she could to the man who had shown her all the love she had missed over the years. Charlie hadn't been dead long but he already felt colder than normal and the sweat from when he was still alive still covered his skin. But Eve couldn't care less, she clung onto him with everything she had. "He's not gone. He promised."
A slightly younger and less muscular version of Eve sat in a chair that she had sat in so much Charlie and Liz were constantly joking it was hers. "Charlie." She said, gaining the man's attention from the papers he was grading. "Yeah?"
"What's it like to get married?" She asked, a hint of nervousness in her voice.
"Well... I'm not exactly the best person to ask but, it's amazing. To this day I still consider it one of the best moments of my life." Every single word of what Charlie said was true. Even if his marriage didn't work out and he turned out to be gay the entire time he still loved his bride. "Why?"
Eve shrugged, "I don't know, just the thought of it scares me. I mean, you're giving your life to someone."
"Well," Charlie nodded, "If it'll make you feel any better I'll be there. I don't think I can walk you down the aisle but I can definitely throw some petals"
Eve smiled, the thought of Charlie somehow attending her wedding sending a warm feeling to fill up her body, "It does make me feel better."
The Keaton girl never believed in God or the existence of a higher power. But as she hunched over the body of her best friend she prayed for something or someone to use their "powers" or whatever the hell they had to perform a miracle and bring her best friend back to life.
"You promised me, Charlie. Please just wake up. Open your eyes, please." Eve knew her pleas weren't going to get them anywhere. But the girl just stayed clung to him, stretching out any bit of hope that was left in her body. She searched for any sign that he could still be alive and would wrap his heavy arms around her.
Ellie was about to speak to the younger girl but a deafening sound was heard behind them. The siren was easily recognizable, especially in the area she had grown up in. The red head stood off to the side and let the paramedics rush into the apartment. The world around the girl was fuzzy but she could see the outline of Eve pushing the paramedics off her, "No!" Eve was inconsolable, tears cascading down her face as she thrashed her arms to loosen the grip of the paramedics. "Let go! Fucking let go!"
The three paramedics in the room all shouted at her, demanding she let go of the only male figure in her life that had been a constant support system. Eve didn't listen; she refused to listen. The young girl felt as though if she were to let go she would never be able to see him again, she would never feel his warmth again, Eve couldn't stand the thought of going everyday without him.
As Ellie watched the girl clung onto her father for dear life she tried her best to come back to the moment. As her world became less fuzzy she slowly came behind Eve and
Kneeled behind her hunched over body. Ellie noticed the paramedics' arms grabbing onto her crush's body so she pushed them away and glared at them. The redhead then let her gaze soften as it focused on the crying girl in front of her. She leaned over and wrapped her arms around Eve's back, just like what the younger girl had done to her moments before.
"Let go of me!" Eve continued yelling and thrashing her body in hopes Ellie would leave her. The red head didn't loosen her grip on the girl and instead tightened it. Ellie shushed her gently, "I'm sorry, Evelyn. He's gone." Tears ran down both girls' faces as Ellie tried to soothe the girl into letting go. Ellie had no clue why she was doing this, she hated Charlie for years and now her future might be ruined because of him. But here she was, crying over his dead body and grieving for him.
It's kind of funny really, how quickly someone can change based on who they're hanging out with. In the one week Ellie had found herself lounging around Charlie's apartment she had never felt more aware of herself. It might've been because she wasn't drunk to the point of blacking out but she was fully aware of everything she was doing. Before this Ellie had known she was an asshole, but she didn't know that she was an absolutely rotten dirtbag who deserved to be kicked to the curb.
Those few days where Eve and Charlie had shown her endless support would change her forever. Their love and relentless hard work would leave an indelible mark on Ellie that would push her to do exactly what Eve had asked last night in her apartment. Ellie was going to use Charlie's money for therapy, she wasn't going to push people away anymore.
Two pairs of footsteps were heard entering the room but the girls didn't look. They both knew who it was, especially when they heard familiar sobs escape both of the women. One of the pairs stayed frozen, eyes locked onto the scene in front of them. The other approached the sobbing friends and gently tapped the red head's shoulder. When Ellie looked at her she saw the pleading look on the woman's eyes and she understood what she was asking. Ellie looked at the younger girl who was violently shaking from how intense her sobs were and unraveled herself from her, trying to ignore the way she cried harder without Ellie's arm around her.
"Evie." Heather said, rubbing her sister's back in circles. "Evie, we have to go."
"No, no I can't leave him." Eve shook her head and clung harder to the man's unresponsive body.
The older Keaton looked at the paramedics who were impatiently waiting for Eve to step away from the body. "Evie I know it hurts but staying here will only make it worse." Eve didn't respond to Heather, only crying harder than what seemed possible. The sight broke the three other women's hearts, in their own ways they were close to Charlie but nothing compared to the bond Eve and Charlie had together. They spent everyday together and had formed a bond deeper than what seemed possible considering they had only known each other for a year.
"No, please... don't" Eve mumbled, her voice weak and barely audible to the girl next to her. It shattered Heather's heart to see her like this but she knew that pain would only last longer if Eve stayed in the apartment.
"Evie, I'm going to pick you up and we're going to leave." Heather told her sister what she was doing as she snaked her arms under her. The older Keaton didn't want to accidentally scare her sister and make her more uncooperative than she already was.
As Heather got her footing and raised up her sister she noticed how little of a fight Eve had left. She felt like a ragdoll in her arms, the only thing indicating she was still alive was how loud her sobs and pleas of staying with her best friend had gotten. Heather softly shushed the girl as she carried her past Liz and Ellie, walking out the door to her own apartment.
Heather tried to hold her younger sister with one arm and unlock their door with the other but it proved to be quite difficult since their height and weight difference had only gotten more even over the years. She continued to struggle to open the door until she felt a tap on her shoulder. Heather looked to see Liz and Ellie had followed the two downstairs, both still had tears silently running down their faces. The eldest woman shuffles by Heather and uses the spare key the girls had given her to open the door to their apartment.
As they all walk in the air thickens an intense amount and it's times like this all four wished the apartments had different layouts. Sure, their apartment didn't have bookshelves placed on every wall and it wasn't an extreme mess everywhere but it still looked too alike. The couch, TV, dining room table, coffee table, and kitchen were all in the same spot. And fuck did that hurt.
Heather walked to the couch and gently placed her younger sister down. Eve immediately curled into herself, her sobs still having the intensity they did when Heather carried her out of their apartment.
The three other people in the room didn't know what to do, they themselves still hadn't stopped their own tears from falling. Heather looked at Liz and at that moment everything came flooding in. In Charlie's apartment she had to stay strong and direct the paramedics to the correct apartment, tried to keep as many tears as she could as she watched her younger sister breakdown in front of the man who had taken them in and loved them to the greatest of heights, and not only that but she felt her sister fight to stay with him for just one for moment.
Liz saw the older girl start to shake and noticed how light headed she seemed in the moment. It wasn't known by any of them at the time but Heather was barely drinking water or eating. The constant idea of Charlie's inevitable death ruined her appetite everytime she thought of it and the amount of tears she spilled in the past week only made everything worse. As she swayed on her feet Liz rushed to the older girl and wrapped her arms around her frame.
The older woman gently placed Heather next to her sister, watching as the two sisters both moved to hug each other. Their embrace screamed a million words, all ones of pure sorrow, guilt, and grief. They cried in the arms of each other and searched for a warmth they had only ever felt with another. It hurt them to admit it, but no matter how hard they searched for it, the comfort they felt from their sister never compared to the one they felt from their best friend. It was certainly close, but it wasn't enough. Eve wasn't even sure if any amount of warmth could help her after this.
Liz somehow managed to squeeze herself beside the two sisters on the couch. She cried for a moment by herself and then embraced both sisters. Their tears became more frequent as the reality of the situation set in more. The commotion of paramedics were heard through the thin walls as they carried Charlie's deceased body out of the apartment to god knows where.
The final person in the room stood there watching as the family's foundation crumbled. The three remaining members weren't quite sure what this meant for all of them. Charlie was gone, there was no denying it. So what would happen now? He was the one holding them all together. Every disagreement, sisterly argument, and every fight that came from picking what movie to watch every Saturday night was settled by Charlie. Ellie herself felt bad for them all, she had felt the same pain when Charlie left her for the first time and she was undoubtedly feeling it the second time he did.
The three of them cried together until Eve poked her head out to see the redhead watching them with a broken heart. The younger girl gave her a pleading look; she needed Ellie's warmth in that moment. And who was Ellie to deny it?
The older girl walked to the couch, ignoring the two older women cautiously watching her every move. She didn't even have enough time to react as the younger girl threw her arms around her. Ellie caught herself quickly and stood there frozen. Everything happening around the girl felt so foreign. The rope tightening around her heart, the tears endlessly rolling down her cheeks, and the warmth she felt at the same time. There was a fluttering in her chest, one that told her things were going to change, but it would all turn out ok.
┉┉┉┉┉┉┉
The four didn't really know how long they spent crying together but eventually all four ended up cuddled up on the couch. A comedy movie played on the TV as a distraction but there was no hope. Everyone had noticed the absence of a heavy laugh that would boom throughout the room whenever a perfectly timed punchline occurred. Instead, there were just the subtle sounds of sniffling, it wasn't nearly as loud but it made the girl's ear hurt more. It was just a constant reminder of who wasn't there with them. And Eve couldn't handle it anymore. She needed to get out.
She pulled her head back from where it was leaning on Ellie's shoulder, "I'm going to my room." The younger girl was about to walk away until she noticed a stain on Ellie's shoulder, "Shit... I'm sorry, I got snot all over your shirt." It was true, as Eve had sobbed into Ellie she hadn't even realized just how much her nose had been dropping until she stood up. Another reason for her to hate crying; she just embarrassed herself infront of her crush.
Ellie noticed the look of shame on the girl's face and shrugged, "It's alright. I hate this shirt anyways." That was the biggest lie on planet Earth. Ellie loved that comfy gray shirt more than anything and wore it every time she had the opportunity to. Not only that but one week ago Ellie would've gladly hit someone across the face for slipping water on her shirt. But this was Eve she was talking about, she hated how the younger girl couldn't even look at her, too ashamed for something as natural as crying. Screw whoever hurt Eve this badly and screw Charlie for making her care.
"You gonna be ok?" Heather asked her younger sister, concern evident in her voice. Eve didn't respond, she didn't want to lie to her sister and say yes. In reality, Eve had no clue whether or not she would be fine. After all, this wasn't just anyone who had died, it was Charlie. The girl stayed silent and just shrugged before heading to her room.
As she opened the door, the liveliness that had filled the room the previous evening appeared to have vanished along with Charlie. Everything now seemed grayer and darker, and the mess that had accumulated while Eve and Ellie were occupied with Harry Cameron appeared much worse than it had in the morning.
The younger girl sauntered over to her dresser and sluggishly pulled out a pair of pajama pants and a shirt that was definitely too big for her. It felt like the weight of the roof above her was about to come crashing down and bury her in the rubble as she changed in complete silence. Usually Eve hated silence and always took the chance to fill it with something playing in the background, whether it was a TV show, movie, or music it didn't matter to the girl. All that she cared about was that there wasn't a dead silence.
But now, the slight shrill of crickets, the blowing of the wind, and the slight purrs from a sleeping Harry Cameron all bothered her to no end. Everything around her seemed so loud to where her ears rang slightly and she felt like she was going to pass out any moment. Eve needed to lay down before she would go limp and crash to the floor.
Eve's gait was slow and unsteady, giving the impression that with each step, she was inching closer to falling backward and losing consciousness. Her movement slowed down as she got closer to her bed. As she sunk down the warmth could only be a temporary substitute for the one she had been bathed in less than a few minutes ago. Eve laid in her bed, unmoving until something caught her eye. She reached for it, tears once again filling her eyes as she read the message.
I know how badly you wanted to read this
-Charlie ♡
The Keaton girl had believed she had run out of tears; the events of the past day had drained her of every remaining emotion. For hours, Eve had been numb, but now, all she felt was regret and guilt. She blamed herself for what had happened to Charlie. After all, it was she who brought him food after school, she who purchased his groceries, and regardless of how unhealthy it might have been, she bought him everything on his list. It was also she who fulfilled his request every time he asked her to grab him some food.
She hugged the book to her chest and curled into herself, crying until she couldn't anymore. Who knew how long that was but the only thing that broke her out of the guilt ridden and negative thoughts were cut off by the door opening. "Hey, Evelyn." the voice said. Eve looked at the door to see her newly made friend standing at the doorway. "Heather's letting me stay the night..." Fuck why am I so awkward? Ellie cursed herself.
It wasn't really something either of the two could admit but they yearned for each other's warmth. The feeling they got with each other was addictive and quickly consumed them. Neither had been able to put a label on what exactly that feeling was but they wanted it to stay for as long as possible. Each opportunity given was one they were given and now they couldn't imagine going a day without it.
Eve nodded her head and moved closer to the edge of her bed, signaling for the red head to join her. Ellie had since changed into some of Heather's old clothes and got ready for bed before entering Eve's room so she immediately climbed onto the bed. The silence around the two was one that killed Ellie inside while Eve didn't really feel the need to fill it.
After a few moments the quietness seemed to start bothering Ellie as she began to twist and turn. It would be news to everyone at her school but at this moment Ellie didn't know what to say. She had always been the person with a witty comeback or extremely willing to go up to someone and start a conversation but she just couldn't find out what was the right thing to say.
Eve wasn't in the right state of mind at the moment; she felt guilty, upset, tired, and irritated all at the same time and Ellie constantly moving around was not helping her at all. It hadn't been a good day for the younger girl and all she wanted to do was sleep and the creaking of the bed and her blanket constantly being pulled only pulled her further away from her wishes. She tried pulling her blanket back a few times but without failure the Sarsfeild girl would move it away from her. Of course, it was accidental and was only just an outcome of Ellie's discomfort but Eve wanted it to stop.
So, like any person who could hardly even function in that moment, Eve threw her body on top of Ellie's and laid her head on the redhead's chest. Her plan seemed to work as she noticed the girl she was laying on had stopped moving completely. "What are you doing?" Ellie stuttered out.
The half asleep girl shrugged tiredly, "You were moving too much."
"Oh..." the color of Ellie's face quickly matched the shade of her fiery red hair, "sorry."
"It's alright." Ellie pressed her body impossibly closer to Ellie's, "You're really warm."
Ellie started panicking inside, the old side of her was screaming to push the younger girl off of her and make her deal with Ellie's constant movement but she just couldn't. Ellie couldn't possibly push Eve off of her. The Keaton girl looked too peaceful, after a day full of tears and sadness she finally looked calm, as if everything that happened that day didn't matter because of where she was now. But Ellie knew that no matter how much she wished that that was the case, Charlie's death wasn't something Eve could heal from so quickly.
As the two laid together Ellie felt a sudden sense of protectiveness. She knew this day would forever affect Eve and she would need as much help as she can get. Eve couldn't go through this alone and as much as Ellie hated to think about it, it would take more than her to help the poor girl heal. "Good night, Els." Eve mumbled before letting herself fall into a deep sleep.
"Good night, Evelyn." Ellie responds, wrapping an arm around her. However, the truth was Ellie had no intention of falling asleep until she found someone who could not only help Eve heal, but her sister too. The redhead reached for her phone and searched for hours for the two people she knew would be able to help. As she looked everywhere across the internet she unconsciously raked her hand through the asleep girl's hair.
Ellie had surprised herself with how quickly she found the people she was looking for and immediately contacted them. She hoped a response would come quickly but she had no clue if they would even see it. As Harry Cameron woke up for a moment and repositioned himself to cuddle with the two girls Ellie felt herself tear up. She had always craved love, but now that she had it all that she could think about when she was going to lose it. It was doomed to happen, Eve would realize that Heather was right all along, that there was nothing that made her worth helping.
She tried to ignore the swarming thoughts in her mind as she sent the message and waited for a response. Time seemed to tick by slowly as Ellie stared at the message. Her eyes grew heavy as she started to nod off but she needed the confirmation. These were people she knew for sure could help the sisters so Ellie needed to make sure they would be there.
Ellie grew more anxious but she wouldn't let herself move around and find something to fiddle with in fear of waking up the girl peacefully asleep on her chest. About half an hour had passed since she had sent the message and there wasn't any sign of a reply. "Shit." Ellie whispered, getting closer to giving up for the night. She froze up slightly as she felt Eve nuzzle herself closer to the crook of Ellie's neck, "Why are you still awake?" Eve mumbled, her breath hitting Ellie's neck and sending her into a frenzy.
"Couldn't sleep." She responded in a hushed voice.
"Yeah it's probably because you're on that damn phone." Eve replied in a purposefully dramatic old woman voice.
Ellie felt a slight laugh erupt from her, something it seemed only Eve could do, "Go back to sleep, idiot." Her words were rarely soft and there was no aggressiveness behind them.
"You go to sleep." Eve quipped back, causing the two to break out into a fit of giggles. They didn't know why it was so funny, perhaps it was just the mere fact everything seemed funnier late at night. As they finally calmed down, Ellie found herself staring at the beautiful girl in front of her. This whole entire thing was new to her; the butterflies she felt from Eve's touch, the way she felt nervous and her heart rate accelerate everytime she was near her, Eve always had a way of making Ellie's face turn red, something no one else had been able to do so easily, and the longing Ellie felt. She always wanted to be near Eve, everytime she went home after visiting she felt a slight excitement knowing that she would be seeing the younger girl again the next day.
"Els?" Eve waved her hand in front of the girl's face. "You ok?"
Ellie snapped out of whatever trance the younger girl had managed to put her in, "Huh? What?"
"Nothing you just zoned out."
"Oh, sorry."
"There's no need to be sorry, Els."
Ellie didn't respond verbally, deciding to just nod instead. Ellie was sure Eve could hear her racing heart but just decided to not bring it up or flat out ignore it. "Good night, Evelyn." Ellie said as the younger girl closed her eyes and relaxed into Ellie's touch.
"For real this time?" Eve smirked slightly.
The redhead smiled softly, "For real this time."
"Good night Els."
A/N:
kinda hate the ending but its rushed so idc
4540 words