Lauren woke up the following Monday with a pit of anxiety in her stomach. The past few days had been pretty rough for both of the girls. The nightmares seemed to have come back at full speed, and Camila had a tendency to try and hide them when they did. Lauren could always tell, though.
So when she woke up to an empty bed, Lauren sighed heavily. This had become a normal occurrence between them. She cursed herself for being such a heavy sleeper.
The dark haired girl yawned, quietly shuffling across the hallway and slowly peering into the bathroom. As always, Camila was on the floor with Wolf in her lap. Judging by the look on the smaller girl's face, she hadn't gotten much sleep that night.
Lauren didn't even have to say anything. She simply sat down against the door and looked over at Camila. When the girls met eyes, Camila bit her lip and scooted closer to Lauren. They both knew. There was no use in talking about it.
Lauren wrapped an arm around her girlfriend and pulled her into her side. She was so tired of this. She was tired of seeing the girl she loved so much struggle to rid herself of her demons. Lauren felt powerless.
She pressed a kiss to Camila's temple and sighed softly. The appointment she had scheduled the week prior was today. Which meant Camila would possibly be leaving the doctors office with a prescription that had the power to banish the nightmares.
Both girls sat in silence for a while. Wolf would look up at them occasionally, purring contently before snuggling back into Camila's lap. The brown eyed girl felt numb. If anything, the nightmares had only been getting worse. And she didn't know what she could do to stop them. There was so much hope riding on the appointment that day. For both of them.
"Do you wanna get breakfast?" Lauren asked after a few minutes of silence. Camila looked down at the kitten in her lap and nodded, cradling Wolf in her arms.
Lauren gave Camila a soft smile, standing up and offering a hand to help Camila to her feet. The small girl followed Lauren down the hallway, crawling to sit on the counter once they got into the kitchen.
As Lauren pulled a box of cereal out of the pantry, Camila furrowed her eyebrows in thought. She spoke up when Lauren set two bowls on the counter.
"If they are not real, why do they feel so real?"
Lauren lifted her head and glanced at her girlfriend. She could see the conflicting emotions in Camila's face. It pained her to know how confusing it must be for her.
"Cause our brains are pretty complicated," Lauren laughed softly and shook her head. She poured them both two bowls of cereal and then hopped up to join Camila on the counter. "They're good at tricking us sometimes."
"That is so stupid," Camila huffed, crinkling her nose. She didn't like the nightmares. All she wanted was to be able to sleep without being woken up in a panic. No matter what she did, they never seemed to go away.
"I know, baby," Lauren sighed and rested her chin on Camila's shoulder, kissing her neck. "We just have to wait and see what the doctor tells us."
"I hope it helps," Camila shivered.
"Me too, Camz," Lauren gave her girlfriend a soft smile. "But if it doesn't, we'll figure something else out. We always do."
"Yeah," Camila whispered, setting Wolf down on the counter to explore while she took a bite of her cereal. They'd only had the kitten for a week, but both girls had completely fallen in love. If they hadn't already known that he was blind, they wouldn't suspect anything. The small white kitten seemed to get along just fine without his vision.
Once they finished breakfast, Camila gently set Wolf back in the bathroom before joining Lauren in the bedroom. Both girls got dressed, Camila insisting that Lauren wear the yellow beanie to coordinate with her own. Of course, Lauren couldn't say no.
The drive to the doctor's office was quiet. Both Lauren and Camila weren't sure what to expect. When the pulled into the parking lot, Camila looked over at Lauren worriedly.
"Don't worry," Lauren laughed softly, leaning over the seat and cupping Camila's cheeks. "I'm here. It's going to be fine. We're in this together."
"Together," Camila nodded in affirmation.
They had barely gotten time to sit down in the waiting room when Camila was called back. Her eyes widened, but Lauren grabbed her hand and gave her a supportive smile. The brown eyed girl repeated the word together in her mind while they were led back to the small room.
Immediately Camila was hit with a whirlwind of questions. She didn't even understand half of them. Why were they asking her about hallucinations? That had nothing to do with her nightmares. Lauren held her hand the entire time.
The green eyed girl watched as Camila shyly answered the questions. Camila would occasionally draw a blank, not sure what she was supposed to say. Lauren would always jump in to answer for her. They made a good team.
"We don't have a medicine that targets nightmares specifically," the doctor finally said after they had finished answering questions. He flipped through an array of colorful papers in a file folder before looking back up at the girls.
"But, anti-anxiety medicines have been proven to lessen the intensity of nightmares, or even get rid of them altogether," he nodded and wrote something down. "So I think we have a good chance at combating these nightmares."
Camila immediately turned to Lauren, smiling widely. The green eyed girl squeezed her girlfriend's hand.
"But we also need to have you get your blood drawn before you pick up your prescription. Just to get a baseline look at your levels before you start the medicine," he explained. Camila glanced at Lauren in confusion, but Lauren just nodded.
After discussing various medicines and getting their prescription from the doctor, Lauren took Camila's hand and led her to the next building over, where the smaller girl would have to get her blood drawn. Surprisingly, Camila didn't seem too scared when Lauren explained to her what they were doing.
Lauren stood and watched as the nurse prepared the needle. Camila just watched absentmindedly.
"Why don't we go get froyo after this?" Lauren offered, trying to distract Camila while the nurse slowly slid the needle into Camila's vein. The smaller girl winced slightly, but besides that, she didn't seem to care.
"Yes please," Camila giggled, watching while the nurse covered up the small cut.
"It didn't hurt?" Lauren asked in shock. Camila furrowed her eyebrows and bent her arm a few times before shrugging.
"I have done it before," the brown eyed girl remembered. "I think I am used to it."
"Well I'm glad it wasn't that big of a deal then," Lauren leaned down and kissed Camila's forehead. They thanked the nurse and then headed out to the car. Camila couldn't stop babbling about how the weather was starting to warm up.
"Hey, doofus, we're here," Lauren laughed once she parked the car and Camila continued to talk. The smaller girl immediately whipped her head in Lauren's direction, smiling widely and hopping out of the car.
Camila pulled Lauren into the small store, happily handing her one of the small froyo cups and studying the different flavors. Lauren just stood and watched her for a few moments, finding it funny how Camila insisted on reading each flavor when she always ended up choosing banana.
"You are slow, Lolo," Camila giggled, walking back over to Lauren and pulling her over to the machines. "What are you getting?"
"Surprise me," Lauren smiled softly and switched cups with Camila. Satisfied with her new mission, Camila began to study the different flavors once more.
Her eyed widened when she found the birthday cake flavor, clapping her hands together happily. She filled up Lauren's cup, moving over to the toppings bar and adding rainbow sprinkles. The small girl skipped happily over to Lauren and traded cups.
"Birthday cake. Because we did not get to eat the cake on my birthday," Camila explained with a soft smile. Lauren was so endeared by her girlfriend's attention to every small detail. She leaned down and kissed Camila's cheek.
"Perfect," she smiled, leading Camila over to the cashier and pulling her wallet out of her purse. Camila's eyes widened, and she quickly shook her head.
Lauren watched in confusion as Camila pulled off her beanie, retrieving a small card from within the light blue material. She presented it proudly to the cashier and tugged her beanie back onto her head.
"Happy birthday to us," Camila smiled proudly up at Lauren, whose mouth had fallen open slightly in shock. "This is a date, right?" Camila asked, taking her cup and starting to walk over to the tables.
"I... yeah," Lauren smiled, slightly enamored that Camila had stored the gift card in her beanie. "I'd like that. Thank you, by the way," she added, sliding into one of the small chairs.
"Thank you, you're welcome," Camila smiled widely. She liked doing nice things for people, especially Lauren. The small girl reminded herself to thank Normani again when they got back home.
"This is actually pretty good," Lauren raised an eyebrow when she took a small bite of the frozen yogurt. Camila clapped her hands together happily.
"I knew it would be," Camila crinkled her nose.
Before Lauren could respond, Camila's attention was elsewhere. The green eyed girl watched as Camila bent down, picking up the small toy car that had bounced across the floor and landed at her feet.
Camila studied the toy for a few moments. She glanced across the room at the little boy who was watching her worriedly. A small smile spread across her face and she slowly rose to her feet.
"Vroom vroom," Camila said softly, holding out the toy and pretending to drive it back across the room. The child wasn't sure what to think for a few moments, but when Camila set the toy back at his feet, he laughed softly.
"Thank you, lady," he smiled, bending down to pick up his toy and giving Camila a toothy grin.
"You are welcome, kid," Camila nodded once, padding back over to Lauren with a small smile on her face.
The same smile spread across Lauren's face as she watched the interaction between Camila and the young boy. An image of Camila as a mother flashed in her mind, and Lauren sighed contently. She could easily imagine her and the smaller girl growing old and raising a family together. It just made sense.
Just because Camila was a little... exuberant, didn't mean she wouldn't be a wonderful parent, Lauren realized. Hell, Camila had taught her more about love and life than anyone else she had ever met. Lauren was sure she would do the same for a child of her own, when the time came, of course.
"Banana," Camila whispered, holding out a spoonful of her froyo and waving it in front of Lauren's face. "It is good. Try it, Lo."
Lauren laughed, leaning forward and allowing Camila to feed her the small spoonful of yellow froyo. Even though banana wasn't her favorite, she smiled softly and nodded. "It's good."
Camila smiled widely and set her spoon back in her empty cup, around the same time that Lauren finished. Both girls threw their trash away and headed back out to the car. Camila skipped the entire way, dragging Lauren along with her.
Once they got home, Camila headed back upstairs with a new set of batteries for the keyboard, claiming she was putting on a concert for Wolf. Meanwhile, Lauren dragged her easel downstairs and focused on painting a cityscape from in front of the window.
Dinnertime came and went as usual. Except for one small change.
"Camz," Lauren's voice rang out from the kitchen. The other four roommates were watching Friends for the millionth time. Camila lay on the couch with her head in Dinah's lap, nearly falling asleep.
"Camila," Dinah nudged the small girl. "Lauren's calling you."
Camila looked up slowly, blinking a few times. She smiled widely and rolled off of the couch, padding into the kitchen.
"Look," Lauren held up two small circular pills. "They match your beanie."
Camila furrowed her eyebrows. "Blue," she noted.
"You've gotta take em'," Lauren handed Camila a small cup of water. "And wish all the nightmares away."
"Forever?" Camila took the cup and allowed Lauren to place the small pills in her hands.
"Let's hope so," Lauren nodded. "Remember, he said they may not kick in for a week or so. We've gotta give it some time to do its job."
Camila nodded softly. A few moments later, she stared down at the pills in her hand and looked up at Lauren questioningly. "What do I do?"
"You take them with the water, like pills, yeah?" Lauren raised an eyebrow. Camila stared at her aimlessly.
"Okay, uh," Lauren shook her head and took the cup from Camila, setting it back down. "We'll do it an easier way."
Lauren retrieved a small cup of applesauce from the refrigerator and opened the tinfoil lid. After grabbing a spoon, she popped the two pills into the plastic cup and mixed it around.
"Just don't choke," Lauren handed the spoon to Camila and set the applesauce down on the counter. The small girl hummed in approval, nearly devouring the entire cup within minutes. Lauren chuckled, realizing Camila hadn't even struggled to take the pills.
Camila yawned, setting the spoon down and rubbing her eyes. Lauren moved forwards, placing her hands on Camila's hips and kissing her forehead.
"Ready for bed?" Lauren asked softly. Camila nodded, yawning once more and laying her head on Lauren's shoulder.
"C'mon," Lauren tried to lead her towards the door but Camila just giggled and leaned more into Lauren's shoulder.
"What? Am I supposed to carry you?" Lauren laughed. Camila just giggled and wrapped her arms around Lauren's shoulders.
"You're kidding me," Lauren rolled her eyes, but didn't hesitate to scoop Camila into her arms. Camila hummed happily.
"Whipped," Dinah sang from the living room as Lauren carried her girlfriend over to the stairs. Lauren flicked her off with her free hand, while Camila giggled.
Once she laid her girlfriend down in bed, Lauren changed into her pajamas and joined the small girl under the covers. Camila curled up in Lauren's side and sighed contently.
"You know what to do," Camila giggled. Lauren raised an eyebrow.
"Oh yeah?" she teased. Camila nodded. "What am I supposed to do, then?"
"Sing?" Camila hummed. Lauren nodded, kissing Camila's cheek.
"Only for you," Lauren smiled, running her fingers through Camila's hair and gazing up at the ceiling.
She is something to behold
Elegant and bold
She is electricity
Running to my soul
And I could easily lose my mind
The way you kiss me
Will work each time
Calling me to come back to bed
Singing Mila on my mind
Camila lifted her head and giggled when she realized Lauren had replaced the name in the song with her own. Lauren paused her singing for a moment to admire the way Camila's eyes sparkled in the dark.
Lips generous and warm
You build me up like steps
Eyes innocent and wild
Remind me what it's like
And I could easily lose my mind
The way you kiss me will work each time
Pulling me back into the flames
And I'm burning up again
I'm burning up
And I, I never understood what was at stake
I never thought your love was worth it's weight
Well now you've come and gone
I finally worked it out
I worked it out
I never should have told you
I never should have let you see inside
Don't want it troubling your mind
Won't you let it be
And I could easily lose my mind
The way you kiss me will work each time
Pulling me back into the flames
And I'm burning up again, I'm burning up
And I, I never understood what was at stake
I never thought your love was worth it's weight
Well now you've come and gone
I finally worked it out
I worked it out
"I love you," Camila whispered, nuzzling her face into Lauren's neck and kissing the soft skin. Lauren shivered. She realized that if she were to die in this very moment, she would die happily.
--
a/n: the song is georgia by vance joy :) one of my favorites
as always, have a great day babes. ily all endlessly.
- lena (lenajfc on twitter, forbrighterskies on tumblr)