I just read the most beautiful thing, I think ever. It was my mom in a diary, and it wasn't much, maybe just seven or eight pages. But she seemed to happy. It was from 2005 to 2007, and they were just short little entries on how much she loved me. You know like, "You lost your first tooth today and you didn't even cry!" Or "It's your first day of dance class and I have to run! I love you so much. Mommy." "You wouldn't stop telling me how you were a big girl and could take care of your own hair! I tried not to laugh and just did it myself."
And it made me tear up, you know? Because there was a time where she completely loved me and cared with all her heart. She loved me to pieces, and I saw that. But after I read it and I asked mom if I could keep it she said no. And then she argued on my poor job with sorting through stuff we can take when we move. It made me think about what happened from then to now, where shit went wrong. And you know if mom ever reads this, I'm sorry I wasn't what you wanted. I'm sorry I was mental and dumb through school and I'm sorry I ruined everything. But you know what?
It's... okay that mom doesn't love me like my neighbor loves her baby girl. It's... okay that she doesn't care to listen to my problems like Amaya and her mom do. I know it's just... her special way of loving me... I know she loves me to pieces.... :D
D;