Everyone has a different outlook and definition of life. For some it's a treasure that's been granted, something so precious that they hold and adore it to its fullest knowing fully well that this special treasure could be snatched any moment. It is these kinds of people who see life with a distinct purpose, like something at their center that guides them through it. Whatever it is differs but it makes them believe that life is precious and won't be fulfilled until they have done all that is required of it.
There are others for whom life is like a journey on a train, a very boring one that's bleak and has little stops. The train moves until it reaches its last station, what you do during this journey determines nothing. It is that you've had a good journey which matters, such that when you reach your final destination you are content and have good things to say about it.
While for others life is an unwanted present, like when the rain falls on a bright sunny day where you just wish for it to go away so you can play. It's a burden that's been bestowed upon one making it difficult to even appreciate it. Life is full of challenges, ups and downs-the bad moments oftentimes outweighing the good ones. It's a struggle and they sigh when the new sun rises because this gift is still unwanted.
What is life when it stops?
"Twenty one worshippers were killed, including some children, in Southwest Nigeria after a group of gunmen attacked a Catholic church on Sunday with explosives," The news reporter, Hauwa Safiyanu, said on the NTA news channel. "The violence in the silent town of Owo prompted international condemnation after a rare attack in Nigeria's usually safer southwestern region. Richard Olatunde, spokesman for the Ondo State governor's office, told AFP that dynamite exploded inside the church before gunmen opened fire..."
Nerves ran up my spine at the words she was saying. Gunmen. Explosives. Death. It ran chills through my bones just thinking of the people that were present, did they know that they would lose their lives that morning? I imagine the horror and screams as they struggle to run and find a place to hide, terrified for their lives. And the little children who had so much more to live for.
Is Nigeria no longer a country? Is it now a place where no matter where you are you can never feel completely safe?
My mother reduces the volume as she shakes her head but doesn't look affected. Maybe after all the tragic events that have occurred in this country she is no longer shocked by anything. And that's the worst part, that the lives lost will just be another tragic incident in which Nigerians would fold their arms, shake their heads and say "Nawa o".
It only seems to be getting worse everyday.
The soft feeling of waking up on a bright Saturday morning quickly disappears upon listening to the news my mother insists on watching. We're seated, my sister and I, by the dining table sipping on lipton and munching on toasted bread with butter spread and a little bit of beans in mine. The combination makes it taste like freshly baked meat pie in my mouth, although my little sister can't share in my sentiments as she throws disgusted looks my way.
Ignoring the tragic news I begin to think about what it's like to lose a family member. What is it like to see them one day only to find out the next that they're gone? Will I ever be at peace if I lost my mother, sister or...my brother? Would I be depressed if I got a call that my father was found dead in a ditch somewhere?
It's a really dark thought which I try to expel from my mind because the truth is no matter how much hate or despise you have for a person to wish death is never going to feel good. For my father his presence is still felt in this house. I look at my mug of Lipton and think how we'd ever survive in this harsh country without his provisions for us.
"Any plans for today?" Lael swings her legs under the table, her head swaying side by side as if she's a seven year old and not the thirteen year old that she is.
I shrugged my shoulders. Do I ever have plans for Saturdays? While my peers probably go out and do something lively, attend a party or whatnot I find myself cooped up at home. More so because of comfort than anything else, even though in the end I feel like I've missed so much.
"Nigeria is still fighting a 12-year-long jihadist insurgency in its northeast and heavily armed criminal gangs often carry out raids and mass..." Hauwa's voice is distant as we eat but still close enough to catch my attention even as I listen to my sister.
"Ewatomi has invited me for a girl's day today, can you imagine? I hope mommy will allow me to go."
"Ewatomi?"
"Sorry," she slaps her forehead, "I forget you don't know anybody in this neighborhood. But you for sha know Ewatomi na. Green house by our right, Adebayo's daughter. Ha." Leal shakes her head disappointedly.
"Am I supposed to know everybody?" I hissed at her.
"In your case just know one person! One person o. Will you die if you smile at people on your way or actually talk to them?"
"I have other things to focus my attention on."
"Mhmm."
It's always like this. The two of us are talking over breakfast, mom is watching the news and checking her phone worriedly every five minutes because dad never comes home the next morning, and I am thinking of ways to convince myself that I don't care about not knowing anybody.
After eating I decide to grab my notepad and pencil and head outside the patio for some leisure drawing. I'm not an artist or anything, my area of expertise is mainly in animated cartoon drawings that give a dreamworks vibe. I work my way from her oval angular head to her eyes. After drawing the first eye it's a bit of a struggle replicating it to the other side because it always comes out uneven.
"I said no," I heard mom say to Lael firmly. Based on the approaching sound of their voices I gather that they're bringing their little noise to my direction.
"Please," She whines, "You never let me go out anywhere."
"Did you see the news today?"
"That one is old news biko. Mommy naanị otu oge a, biko." Leal tells mom that it'll only be this one time. "Plus it's just here, our neighbor's house. Nothing will happen."
The two of them have made their way to the Patio with me. Leal is pressed to my mother's side, putting on her best pleading face while my mom is trying to get her out of her personal space.
She pretends to consider her request before saying, "Hapụ m, asị m mba." Mom tells her to leave her alone, that she has said no.
I roll my eyes at them. Can't they take their conversation inside?
"What if Sinobi comes with me?" Leal refers to me by my local name which she likes to do when we are at home.
"Eh Eh Eh," I immediately waved my hands at them. "Don't mention my name. In fact don't even think about dragging me into your wahala. I no do." The urge to draw suddenly leaves me.
"If Sinobi is tagging along then I'll let you go. Other than that akpọla aha m, don't call my name."
I'd rather the ground swallow me than go into a place I know Kenneth will likely be.
However, I always forget that things don't go my way.
A wave of anxiousness hits me, my palms feel wet so I rub them against my green sweatpants and my heart feels like it's constricting in my chest. I didn't bother to make myself that much presentable because I didn't want to come off as someone who's trying to impress anybody. Lael made sure to air her no so wanted opinion about my fashion choices, telling me that I have to represent the family well.
"Just press the button," She huffs, pushing me back with her shoulders and going to press the little gold button by the side of the wall. We hear the ding dong sound it makes all the way from outside. As if my nerves couldn't go higher, I begin to pray that they're not around.
My prayers go unanswered because within a minute the sound of rushing footsteps approaches our direction. The gate is quickly opened allowing Lael and Ewatomi to embrace themselves in a tight and giddy hug. The two of them almost fall down.
Since when were they close friends? I guess my head has been buried in books and thoughts that I've begun to be disconnected from the realities going on around me.
"Let's go and have some fun. I've got so much to show you and gist," my sister squeals, pointing to the duffel bag filled with unknowns by her side.
"Good morning aunty Binta." Ewatomi greets me like I'm twenty years older than her.
"Who's your aunty? Abeg leave the pleasantries for your family members."
Ewatomi clicks her tongue. "It's called common decency, being respectful. After all, she's five years older than us."
My sister pulls her hand for them to go inside. Ewatomi seems to be deciding whether to be a good host and receive me as a guest or go entertain my younger sister.
"I'll be fine," I smile at her. "You girls go do whatever thirteen year old do."
Ewatomi shows me around their house. In the compound there are beautiful plants lining the walls and crawling over some of the fences, there are also short bougainvillea plants placed at the entrance of their patio covered by silver railings. I used to see them through my window however looking at them up close makes them look more beautiful. I see no cars parked anywhere so I assume that her parents are not around, Kenneth included.
It has me releasing a thankful sigh and relaxing my tense shoulders.
Next she shows me their kitchen, dining room, living room where I will be spending my time waiting for them and then she shows me her room where they will be spending their time. The Adebayo's house is really big but not too big that I would call it a mansion, so Ewatomi was not able to show me all the corners of the house-only the places that were necessary for now. We have been neighbors since I was born and yet it's shocking to say that this is my first time entering their house.
As I expected the house is more on the modern side with all the latest gadgets that one would need at home. Not a single item is misplaced, everything is spick and span and it looks like they have no reason to complain about anything.
The troll part of me wishes to see a flaw.
"Come find us if you need anything else." Ewatomi drops the tray of chilled chivita juice and water, together with a jar of chin chin on the coffee table. Her smile reminds me of the one I saw on her mother, her eye creases at the same time remind me of the old woman I met the last time. Looking at her cautiously the resemblance between her and her mother is so vivid, from her eyes to her cute nose then her father's stature and hair color. Kenneth has no features belonging to her mother.
It's just me, the snack and my phone. I wish I had brought my notepad and pencil. Deciding to get comfortable I lay down on the couch with my legs dangling by the arm of it. I take a handful of the chin chin into my mouth with one hand and swipe through my instagram reels with the other.
My fyp is filled with cute cat videos, nature reels, comedic content and major conspiracy theories. As I keep scrolling I realize that my fyp is now popping up with christian and artistic content.
There's a particular reel by Prince_ea that catches my attention, making me replay it over and over.
He says;
"If I was the devil, my first victim would be the kids. From the moment they left their mother's precious wombs and were born, I would condition them to see racial division as a norm. And I wouldn't stop till I've stripped their innocence. Divide and conquer. It's the oldest trick in the book...of Genesis.
And see, as they grew up, I would continue my infiltration. For twelve years, I would steal their hearts and minds from them and call it... education.
If I was the devil my next victim would be women. I'd make old, out of touch men control women's bodies and rights. What better way to curse God than to disrespect the very bringers of life?
Speaking of God, if I was the devil, when it comes to religion I'd put my plan together perfectly. I'd allow you to worship Jesus every Sunday. And for the other six days I'd make you worship me. In the form of money, fame, lust and greed, to my religion I wouldn't need to convert you.
Basically, if I was the devil I'd keep doing what I'm doing.
God as my witness. I already control your systems. Don't try to fight against this.
Because for my last trick, I would make smart people like you doubt whether I ever existed."
Once again I get chills thinking about how strategic the devil can be. How will we know if we're being controlled? Is it all another conspiracy? So many questions and yet nothing to believe in.
It's a shame reading some of the comments though. Can people ever just open their eyes and think?
I hear hushed voices approaching.
"Yes...I'm so bored...I can't go out, I don't have anyone here, at least I thought I did... No...Babe..." It's Kenneth talking.
Babe?
♠♠
You can find the instagram reel @Prince_ea.
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