Ajay
All I need is her, however bad my mood is.
"Ennaachu maa" she asked me caressing my hair.
I contemplated on whether to tell her or not, but then I decided to tell her anyway. She is my wife, my everything, I can make her understand. I stared at her.
"Devi maa.. Innaik enna aachu theriyuma?"
"Ennachu? Innaik vela olunga pogalaya?" She asked.
"Ath illa maa.. " I dragged. Can I just tell her that my whole upset mood was because of nothing but Reba?
"Enna nu sollu jayy.. Naa iruken"
"Illa ma.. Inaik enak konjo kashtam ah pochu.. Reba thaan.." I started with a hint.
"Reba ku enna achu?" This might be the first time, Devi addressing her without the 'office' tag.
I took a deep breath and told her what happened today.
Though I missed my Devi, the day was going good actually. Our company has started fresh. The Ceo never expected that we would win the case, so he fired all the employees except my team and managers. So interviews for appointing new employees to our company were happening in the office. We didn't have much work other than convincing the clients. I felt bored and texted devi occasionally. My team members Sneha, Karthik, Vimal, Sooraj, Tanya were there on time except Reba. I guided them but at the same time wondered why Reba was absent.
"Tanya?" I stopped by her chair and seeked her attention.
"Yes Ajay?" She looked up at me.
"Where is Reba?" Its not like I was dying to see her, She hasn't informed me that she is going to take leave.
"She has asked for half day permission Ajay. She will be here within half an hour" she said.
"But she didn't inform me"
"She has asked permission to the manager directly. It was an emergency"
"Okay" I moved to my cabin in deep thoughts.
Fifteen minutes later, Reba came rushing to the office. I went back to my work without minding her. As time passed, I felt like drink a coffee and moved to the cafeteria. As I filled a cup of coffee, I saw Reba beside me. She wasn't expecting me there and suddenly she was regretting coming to the cafeteria. She gave an awkward smile and tried to walk away but I stopped her.
"Coffee kudikala..?" I asked when she turned to me.
"Haa.. Yeah" she whispered meekily and filled a cup of coffee for herself.
I sipped my coffee and walked along with her to the end of the cafeteria where anybody could watch the city through the glass walls.
"Yen half day leave?" I knew it was unimportant to ask her but I was just curious.
"Ummm.." She avoided looking at me. "Rohan oda TC vaanga ponen.. School la"
I frowned. "TC?"
"Yeah.. Hkm" she cleared her throat "I'm.. Um.. I'm moving to Bangalore next month.. Inga resign panniten"
"What??" I asked in shock.
"Yeah intha month thaa irupen.." Her smile didn't reach her eyes.
"Yen dhideernu?" I asked in a low voice.
She didn't say anything but kept staring her coffee for a long time.
"Reba-"
"I don't want to be here Ajay" she said still looking at her coffee.
"What?"
"Puriyala?"
"Puriyala ya.. Puriyatha maari nadikringala nu enak therila" she finaly looked up at me leaning her shoulder to the wall.
I didn't say anything but waited for her to continue because I cant figure out what she is telling exactly.
"I don't want to be here.. To be precise, I don't want to see you.. I don't want to talk to you.. And and cry all over thinking you can't be mine" her voice broke but she didn't breakdown.
"Reba..."
"Please Ajay..." She managed to look into my eyes "Don't call my name, Don't talk to me, don't give me unnecessary hopes. It hurts. Ungala venum nu aasa patta alavuk appa amma venum nu kooda naa aasa pattath illa Ajay...
It was my fault I know.. Ungala seriya theriyama.. Neenga married ah illaya nu kooda theriyama.. Aasa valathikitath was my mistake.. But at the same time, It wasn't my mistake.. Athuku nu neenga thappu nu sollala.. Inga nobody is at fault..
Ajay you know what? Ungala naa ivlo virumbunen apdinu.. Neenga epo unga wife ah introduce panningalo.. Antha nodila thaa naa purinjikiten.. Athu varaikum I never knew it would break my heart if I ever knew you cant be mine.
Marubadiyum marubadiyum ungala paakrapo ellam.. The only thing that would come into my mind would be the fact that you cant be mine and it hurts. Athunala thaa naa poren.. Oru different environment can change me hopefully.
I dont know how I am gonna survive the next one month.. Ipo kooda my hands are trembling" she lifted her hands which were actually trembling "Thats how anxious I am now, talking to you
Bayama irukku Ajay.. Inum konjo neram unga kitta pesna kooda ungala katti pudich aluthurveno nu bayama irukku.. I dont want that to happen.. I dont wanna breakdown.. I dont want you to think I am soo weak to have fallen for you, so easily. 9 maasam thaa Ajay... 9 maasama thaan enak ungala theriyum.. Ana it didn't take 9 months for me to fall for you.
I don't wanna get hurt anymore Ajay.. I wish, I hope this would be our last conversation. Next week la irunth work from home panna mudiyuma nu request panna poren.." She wiped a tear that left her eye.
"Sorry ithellam unga kitta solluven nu naa expect pannave illa.. Sollanum nu plan pannavum illa.. It just happened.. I want you to be happy Ajay" she smiled "En mumma uyiroda irunthapo onnu solluvanga.. If you wish the person whom you love to be happy even if they are not with you, god will make both of you happy.. I want both of us to be happy
Athuku naa ungala vitu dhoorama irukanum.. Athaan poren.. Rohan oda treatments kum athu thaan better... Sreedevi is a beautiful name" she smiled "She is beautiful just like her name.. She has got a gorgeous smile.. She is lucky.. Hope her gorgeous smile lasts forever" she chuckled sadly "As long as she is with you, it will" she smiled painfully and turned to leave.
"I am sorry" I said.
"For what?"
"For giving you hopes.. I should have let you know"
"You didn't give me hopes Ajay.. It was me. Naa thaa hopes vachukuten..Aana onne onnu kekanum.. This is not to hurt you.. Ana therinjikanum.."
"Enna?"
"Ungaluk mattum kalyanam aagama... Neemga mattum oru ponna ipdi paithyama love pannama irunthirntha.. Enna oru vaati aachum pathurpingala? Pesanum, pazhaganum nu thonirkuma?"
I didn't know what to say. It wasn't because of Devi that I never loved Reba. It was because I wasn't interested in love anymore. By the past one month, Devi changed my world, and now I am head over heels in love with her. But now I think it was because of the destiny. Devi is my destiny. Or else why would I fall for Devi instead of falling for Reba?
"Ajay 9 months ah I am seeing you, aana intha 9 months la oru vaati kooda neenga enna apdi paathath illa.. Athu yen nu 3 days munnadi thaa therinjuth.. Ivlo naal you know what I thought?"
I shook my head.
"That I wasn't worth it. That I wasn't worth to receive your love. Athunala thaa kekren Ajay.. Please... Ungaluk already kalyanam anathunala mattum thaan you didn't see me back?"
"Ofcourse Reba! See you are such a good soul, so kind, so sweet, understanding ah irukka, you are worth it Reba.. I dont know anything about but naa paatha varaikum nee oru romba nalla ponnu.. I respect you a lot.. And you deserve much much better... I am not that person.. Even if I wasn't married... I cant give you what you deserve.. Girl, Don't fall for bare minimum.. You are such a good soul and you deserve only the best"
She smiled through her tears. It was a genuine true smile. She wiped her tears and smiled widely at me.
"Thank you Ajay. This conversation was much needed and I hope this would be our last one, So a goodbye?" She stretched her right hand.
I stretched my hand and took her hand for a shake.
"Goodbye Ajay.. You are such a nice person and I'm glad I have known and been with someone like you"
"I'm glad I have met somebody like you too Reba. Seriously you are such a kind soul.."
"Goodbye" she shook my hand for a last time and retrieved it.
"Goodbye" I whispered as she left the cafeteria.
Though our conversation ended in a good way, I couldn't help but think again and again how hurt she was. I dont know if I have done any mistake here.
"Pavo devi maa ava.. Romba kashtam aayiduch.." I said hugging her tightly.
"Parava illa vidu jayy... Ava nalla ponnu jay.. Avaluk thaguthi aana oru paiyana kadavul kandippa kuduparu" she kissed my head.
"Ath illa maa.. Enak oru maari guilt ah irukku ava resign panni porathu..Ava intha office la romba set aagita.. So inga irunth porathu kashtama irukum la.. Ellam ennala thane"
"Avaluk unga mela feelings vanthathula neenga enna panna mudiyum jayy? Paithyam maari yosikatha... Inga paaru" she lifted my head from her chest and made me look at her "Reba kandippa oru naal happy ah iruppa.. Ipo vena konjo kashtama irukalam.. Athu part of life.. Aproma ava kandippa happy ah iruppa.."
"Hummm" I kissed her forehead.
"Ithukellam feel pannatha jayy" she combed my hair and removed my tie.
"Devi nee enna thappa ellam nenaikalaye?"
"Naa yen thappa nenaika poren" she frowned removing my cuff buttons.
"Illa dii.. Ava resign ellam pandrathu paaka pavoma irunthuch.. Mathapadi onum illa.."
She glared me and got up from the sofa.
"Hey hey" I caught her hands and made her sit on my lap. "Yen di kochukura?"
"Pinna? Naa etho Reba office nu jolly ah kalaipen.. Athuku nu ungala thappa nenaipena?" She asked angrily.
"Seri seri sorry" I pecked her lips.
"Vaa sapudlam" she said.
I hummed and let her go. She went to the kitched to take plates. I have bought chicken fries and porotta for dinner today. I went to our bedroom and removed my dress, took a quick shower and got into track pants and left my body shirtless. Devi was waiting with our plates of food. I sat on the chair and made her sit on my lap. She smiled and fed me the food and also ate along side.
She was watching some television program. I sat with her to watch the show after dinner. It was a reality show named Super singer. The anchors were making fun of the contestants. The show was entertaining, it kept me diverted from Reba.
"Antha pallu la clip potta ponnu nalla irukka la" I said putting a hand around her shoulders.
Sreedevi gave me a side glance and simply nodded.
She was getting annoyed. I mentally danced.
"Antha mooku paren cute ah irukku"
Devi rolled her eyes.
"Hey hey back po back po... Innoru vati pakuren" I pulled the remote and rewinded. I paused the video when the camera focused that particular girl who was sitting among the contestants and smiling at the judges' comments.
"Smile kooda cute ah irukku"
"Yeppaa saamy antha ponnu vijay tv la thaa iruppa.. Ava koodaye poyi kudumbam nadathu po"she got up and moved to the room.
I chuckled and switched off the Tv and rushed to the room before she could shut the door at my face. I locked the door and smirked at her annoyed face.
"Enna? Ethuk vantha? Ava koodaye poga vendiyath thane" she twisted her lips.
I chuckled and pulled her by her waist. "Ava yaaru ney enak theriyathu maa"
"Po po" she hit my chest with her fist.
"Ava paaka unna mariye iruntha ma" I said placing my palm on her neck.
She kept staring me.
"Ulaga alagiye vanthalum intha uthada patha thaan di enak kiss panna thonum" I caressed her lips with my thumb.
"Ama ama" she turned her head away hiding her blush.
"Sandhegama?"
She didn't say anything.
"Enna di?" I pulled her more closer closing all the gap.
She looked at me with a straight face. I pushed her to the bed and hovered over her. I placed my hands on either side of her and we kept staring each other. She tried to maintain her straight face but burst into laughter.
I laughed along with her and then we were kissing.
Its wonderful that I have somebody at the end of the day. No matter my day was good or bad, its gonna end with her and that is beautiful.
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