✞ £ ✞
Have you seen someone so pretty your world stopped? So breath-taking that your eyes were glued on them when you first saw this person? And if they're the only woman out there for you to see, you won't complain?
Lily Jane.
She isn't just beautiful. Since I met her, she has become the standard of what beautiful means to me.
Meeting women instantly panics me. Not only because of the therapy I went through but because the only woman I was exposed to was my mother. In the church my family is affiliated to, women are usually told to stay at home. And after I was sent to the convent, I wasn't allowed near any woman, even my cousins. They don't trust me even though I did not do anything. So, to see if I really changed, my parents gave me a test.
Attending Claremont was my test to see if I really changed.
I was determined to pass their test and to show them that I am not what they call me. But when I first laid eyes on Lily Jane, I knew I had already failed.
And what's worse is most of the time, I feel no remorse and would desperately find an excuse so I won't feel guilty.
"Welcome to Claremont!"
Natulala ako no'n. She was among the people who were there greeting the freshmen like me. Ang laki ng ngiti niya and it brightened up her face. At nakatitig siya sa akin as she hands me a flyer. My hand held the flyer but my gaze never left her.
I was so afraid to take my eyes off the ground as I walked inside the school, leaving behind my parents who drove me here. I was only looking enough to see where I was going. I felt that time that if I looked, I'd be damned even more. Isang tingin lang, nagkakasala na ako.
But that was until I was greeted by her. Huminto siya sa harap ko and she held out a flyer to me. I panicked so I looked.
I don't know if I should regret that decision or celebrate it.
Because of that look, I found the most amazing lady I could ever possibly meet. And at the same time, because of that look, I know I'll be damned for the rest of my life because of my own choice.
"LJ, dito 'yung Sculpting Department!"
LJ turned to look at the girl who called out to her. "Eh?"
She turned to me again, realizing her mistake. Her eyes turned to the flyer on my hand that she gave me. Tinignan ko rin 'yun and I saw that it was about the Sculpting Department.
She deliberated if she'll take it from me. I can see from her captivating eyes how hesitant she was in taking it back.
I never loved dark eyes more when I saw it on her. And her face is in full view because her hair is braided gracefully with a ribbon on the back of her head. Claremont is known to let its students express themselves through clothing so, I did not question her choice of clothing which is a tight, almost see-through, black top with thin straps that is paired with slacks. She was almost to my height but I saw her wearing stilettos.
The lessons I was taught in that convent attending therapy all vanished when I looked at her. Ang gusto ko lang gawin ng mga oras na 'yun is to get my camera in my bag and take a picture of this beauty.
I don't want to miss it but I wasn't able to move. I couldn't speak at that time because I was so dumbfounded by that first meeting. I just... can't function at all.
LJ gave me a small, shy smile. "You can keep it. Shift to our department if you want to."
She winked at me before she turned to leave.
That was... new to me. She winked at me. A wink that isn't a gesture meant for a prank that I often do with my brothers. I don't know what it was for. But it was hot.
I gulped, feeling the heat rising up to my face.
That moment, I wondered what her initials, LJ, meant.
But I knew that LJ meant more than just the first lady I've set my eyes on. I knew that if I were to sin again, I wouldn't mind if it was for her.
✞ £ ✞
Getting to know who LJ is wasn't hard. Despite only being a third year, she's already set a name for herself. Sabi nga nila, sikat si LJ na kahit sinong tanungin mong upperclassman ay kilala siya.
There's more to Lily Jane that I have yet to discover. There's more to her than her beautiful face, more that I'll only discover not just by looking at her or listening to gossip about her.
Claremont is a big school. I know I haven't been the best person to the God I worship but it seems to me that he's rewarding me that time. Everywhere I go, I'd see her. Ang dami niyang kilalang tao. She has a lot of groups of both genders and I've seen her everyday.
Isa lang ang lecture building sa Claremont. That ensured a higher chance of me seeing her. And I was right. I see her every day in the hallways, out in the courtyard, on the rooftop, in the lounge area, in the library, just everywhere. It's hard to resist the urge to stare even though I know it's wrong.
I was nobody to her. And I was fine with it. Hindi na ako nanghihingi ng iba because I'm nothing but a stranger to her.
"LJ, the deadline for the project is tomorrow."
LJ turned to look at the guy who tapped her in the shoulder. With how quiet the courtyard is, kahit malayo ako, narinig ko ang sinabi niya.
"I'll give it to you tomorrow," LJ told him. "Maghintay kayo."
The guy's face turned sour. "Pass it on time."
That was the only thing he said before he left. I saw LJ's face scrunched in annoyance. She shook her head, going back to sketching something on her sketchpad situated on her lap.
Nasa courtyard siya rito sa lecture building. When I saw her, I decided to forget my next class and sit on a bench a bit far away from her. I still have time to spare so I just sat there, staring at her face focused on what she's drawing.
I clutched the strap of my camera hanging on my neck. I just came from a class where we were told to take one photo that'll determine almost a third of our grade. I felt good with my performance since my professor praised me. But that ecstatic feeling has now been overtaken by frustration.
There's a reason why I was sent to a convent for years to do therapy so I can be "cured". And there's a reason why I'm here in Claremont, being tested by my parents.
And, let's just say, it all started with me taking photos.
But then right now, 'yun pa rin ang sinisigaw ng isip ko.
Take a photo.
In my mind, those words were like a broken record playing nonstop. At the same time as those words keep repeating, my mind is also reciting the lectures that I was taught in the convent. The contradiction in my head made me unable to move. I was literally frozen like a block of ice melting under the heat of the sun as I watched her draw her ideas away in her sketchbook.
Suddenly, I couldn't focus on her. My gaze was empty but it stayed on her. I just want to do it and then run away. It won't be bad, right?
My ears are ringing from the nonstop thoughts in my head. Sitting there and just watching her, something clicked in me.
It won't be bad, yeah. It won't. Because from the start, I'm already damned as it is.
That was my excuse. At habang nasa isip ko 'yun, my body moved on its own upon the desire my body wants.
I've already reserved a spot for myself in hell. Yeah, I'm already deep in the pool of sins. I'm done. And so, let me add one more thing. What difference will this make?
I took the camera hanging from my neck and through the viewfinder, I watched her face deep in thought before taking the photo. The sound of the shutter got buried in the sound of the wind so she was still oblivious to my devious act.
One picture and binaba ko na ang camera. Pinagmasdan ko ang mukha niyang maganda sa litratong kinuha ko. It looks the same but the photo doesn't give justice on how she looks better in person.
Smiling to myself, I stood up and walked to my class.
I was late. I got scolded. I was called for a recitation. But none of those made me mad. I was still smiling all throughout the punishment that was given to me because I have something about LJ now.
A photo.
✞ £ ✞
Since that time I took a picture of her, things escalated quickly. And I now have a major problem.
I couldn't stop anymore. I have fallen deep into the rabbit hole. And I don't know if I can still get out.
Tuwing makikita ko siya, there's the urge in me to take a picture of her especially when I see her outfit and how great she looks in everything, even when she looks stressed about school. Palagi pa rin akong nag-iisip kung gagawin ko ba talaga ang gusto. But in the end, most of the time, I'll just find an excuse and do it.
My chest hurts from the guilt, not just to her but to my parents as well. But, as days went by, I got used to the pain.
Before I knew it, I already had a full album of her pictures. It's creepy, I know, but I just can't help it. Photography is capturing the moment. And I might've embodied that phrase too much.
And even though I know I should stop, I still can't. I'm still... the most disgusting hypocrite out there.
And from the lectures I was taught in the convent, I knew what I'm doing is wrong. Even natural law agrees on that. But I... still can't find myself stopping.
The attraction I feel whenever I see her just sparks all the time and before I could stop myself, I'm already taking a picture of her. Yes, I know, I'm just making excuses. But how do I even explain this?
That time, it's not that I love her already. I like her as an art, her beauty. She's the finest subject I've seen, the most perfect person in front of the camera. And if I can go back in time and invent the first camera, I'd have her as my reason for doing so.
It's hard to admit but I know I'm already obsessing over her. I even purchased her dolls just to have a piece of her art. Even that spiraled out of control.
Isa lang noong una, sinubukan ko lang. Pero nasawa ako na isa lang ang manikang tinitignan. And so I bought another one, and another one, and another one. The rest is history.
She was a fantastic artist, the best in her field. And it's not just my opinion because people recognize her for her works.
The idea of her is an art, the most creative one in my head. And all the time, I just want to photograph her as my subject.
If my parents ever find out about this, about what I'm doing, I'll be dead.
But I shouldn't have just worried over my parents who are outside the school. I can easily lie to them. I should've prepared for other possibilities as well. Like being caught by her.
And it happened. Lily Jane caught me.
"Can you do a favor for me? As payment for you taking pictures of me for days, days, and days."
My throat dried up hearing her words. I was caught by none other than her.
I don't know what to say because I know I'm wrong. I am aware of what I'm doing but reason could not stop me. My desire to have something to always stare at was fulfilled by her and I just couldn't quit.
I couldn't speak. I tried to but no words came out. Para akong baby na nag-aaral palang magsalita.
At that moment, she caught me and my devious act. But when she smiled at me as she stood the closest she's ever been to me, she caught another thing.
My heart.
"Don't worry, I won't report you. But I need you to do something for me. So, are you with me?"
I hesitated but not because I didn't want it, but because reason got into my head. But that only lasted for a moment. Before I could run away, I realized, I made the pool I was drowning in myself. I filled it with water.
And now, I can't swim anymore. This is my punishment.
✞ £ ✞
"Just take as many pictures as possible in every angle whenever I change poses." I remember her tapping my cheek that time. "I hope this goes well. Good luck, Ali."
I became her photographer. She needed someone to take pictures of her in different poses as references for her dolls. That wasn't so much of a punishment, right?
Yes, that wasn't the punishment.
She suddenly took her shirt off right in front of me. I looked away and faced the wall of her atelier. She doesn't seem bothered by what she did.
Hindi naman siya hubad. She was wearing a skin-tight bodysuit under her shirt. And when I peeked for a second, even under her pants, she was wearing fitted black shorts.
The bodysuit has long sleeves and has a high, round neck. The shorts reach three inches above her knee. She isn't showing too much skin but with how tight her clothes are, a new feeling ignited in me.
I envy those clothes for hugging every curve of her body tight.
I took in long deep breaths at a time to calm myself. Lumunok ako nang lumunok to ease the dryness of my throat. I prepared myself mentally and physically for the job I agreed on because I was afraid to lose the chance to get to know her even more. And she's formally letting me take pictures of her so who am I to complain when she's given me reason to do what my body wants?
"Hey."
She tapped my shoulder, making me jolt in surprise. Lumingon ako sa kanya, eyes wide and I just saw her laughing. I was holding the camera but I couldn't move even though my mind told me to take a picture of her beautiful laughing face.
"Don't be nervous." She assured me with a smile. "I won't bite."
Like a kid who got scolded, I nodded mindlessly.
"So, shall we start?"
She went to the place she cleared out in the corner of her atelier. She walked over to that small space with a white backdrop as she tied her hair.
This time, I wasn't able to stop myself. Even though she was looking away, I clicked the camera to take a picture of her.
She heard the shutter so she was quick to turn to me. She grinned, not saying anything about what I did.
"You can take as many pictures as you want," she said when she stopped in the middle of the backdrop. "Be free, Ali, and take pictures of every pose that I'll do. Help me with my artwork."
Clutching my camera tight, I nodded. "Okay."
And that's how it started.
The photoshoot was kind of innocent at first, but as the number of photos increased, the level of daringness of her poses also increased.
I don't know how many bottles of water I finished just because my throat is drying up a lot.
"Is this great?" she asked, positioning herself on the floor, posed sexily with her knees crossed together, her hands on the floor as she leaned back, her chest out.
At that moment, I forgot words. In fact, hindi ko na nga alam kung nakakapagsalita pa ba ako. The only answers I gave her are nods. She never posed in a way that seemed unflattering so when she asked if what she's doing is fine, I never shook my head.
She's beautiful in every pose that she does.
✞ £ ✞
As we met more for photoshoots, the silence slowly was taken over by small talks until I found myself talking a lot as I took pictures of her. She carries the conversation well and even with her occasional teasing, I never got tired about hearing her stories and sharing some of mine.
And that's when I got to know Lily Jane more.
And I can confirm now, I started liking her because of those talks, because I now know more about her than just the beautiful woman I see.
An orphan who was abandoned by her parents in the orphanage. A fighter since she was born. A girl born to be an artist, and also an art herself.
She's not afraid to express her feelings. Something that I lack. It's what I like about her.
She's brave. Something that I'm not. Another thing that I like about her.
She's sentimental, lovable, kind, expressive, earnest, and most especially, caring. She's proud of everything that I do, something I wish my parents would appreciate.
I was a liar, a sinful, disgusting creature. I know I haven't been honest towards her. But I know that if I have to be honest on one thing, it's my love for her.
"Ali, come here."
I turned to LJ when she called me over. I've just now finished putting my camera away. Nandito kami sa atelier niya and we just got done with a photoshoot, ready to leave.
"Yeah?" I asked, stopping in front of her.
She tiptoed and leaned close to me. I was surprised so I moved away but not enough to put a distance between us. She kissed me on my cheek.
She gave me a smile after that soft kiss. "You've been a really great help to me so thank you." Then she gave me a wink like she always does. "I'll give you more rewards in the future, sweetheart."
In a daze, I held my cheek in surprise. My mind could not process what just happened.
I've only been kissed by my family. But that kiss was different.
I'm already satisfied when I'm helping her, especially when the pose she made and I took a reference photo of becomes a doll that I can hold. I don't need rewards or anything for what I'm doing. But that was until that kiss happened.
I felt great but, at the same time, guilty. I feel bad for my parents who were wishing me to be better. I feel bad for LJ for my being like this, for wanting more.
I enjoyed every kiss she gave me, every touch she let me do on her body. But every time she'd let me or invite me in for a kiss, I just can't indulge myself immediately. Kailangan ko pang ikondisyon ang sarili ko. Because I know what I'm doing would make my parents angry.
But all the time, reason lost over my desire and I'd just find myself making an excuse because my parents aren't really here to witness what I'm doing.
I've always been taught that a woman's body is sacred, holy. And so, I respect LJ. I don't want to do anything unless she tells me to.
At first, my excuse is her letting me kiss her or touch her so it's not actually on me. But the biggest excuse that I have to justify what we're doing is our love for each other.
"I love you, Ali."
When I heard her say that, I know I'm one step closer to needing no excuse to be with her. Para kasi sa mga magulang ko, ang lahat ng ginagawa namin ay dapat lang ginagawa ng magkasintahan o mag-asawa.
And I know we're getting close to that.
Because now, she's not just LJ to me anymore. She's now my Lily Jane.
And for my Lily Jane, I'll do everything to earn her love, her trust, because she's the one making my miserable life worth living. Because she's the one who made me realize that I am not disgusting, I am not an animal.
She made me realize that I am normal.
✞ £ ✞
When her doll got stolen, even I lost hope because of the same reason she had. Madalang ng mahanap ang mga nawawalang artworks here in Claremont. And I know that very well as a volunteer in the Committee.
I get why people are jealous towards her talent, fawning over her beauty, and triggered by her truth. I get why someone wanted to sabotage her by taking her doll.
She's just too amazing. She shines so bright among all the students in this school. And sometimes, being too bright was a threat to other people, being too bright can be a reason for people to obsess over you.
I want to help her. It's to make up for the times that I know I crossed the line, to get over my own guilt. And also, I want to help her because I love her.
"My parents are just worried about me but they're fine. Now gusto ko na talaga mahanap ang doll at makasama sila for the rest of the summer."
Narinig ko na ang sitwayson niya, and I heard firsthand how her grandfather is a serious man. Kahit hindi pa sinasabi sa akin ni LJ ang lahat ng kwento niya noong nasa ampunan siya, I know its bad. And that's why she keeps her stories to herself.
I see myself in her. I know that place was hell for her just like how the convent I did therapy on was hell to me. I know she doesn't want to go back there like how I don't want to go back to the convent.
And I know how much she loves her parents. That doll was for them. And just as they were dying, her most prized artwork was stolen.
Nakita ko siya at nakasama sa mga oras na frustrated siya dahil hindi niya maayos ang manika pati ang mga light bending na hinahangad niya para sa artwork niya. I stayed beside her, making her coffee whenever she wants to pull an all-nighter. And I was the one who took reference photos for her artwork.
That doll is important not just for her but for me as well as her parents. And for her, I'm willing to help.
"Hey."
The petite woman turned to face me when she heard my voice. She was stunned because of how close I stood behind her that she took a step back.
"What?" she asked, surprised and irritated.
She's on the line to get food from the counter. And I stood behind her when I found her here.
"Can we talk?"
Her face scrunched. "Tungkol saan?"
"I know you took LJ's doll, Angel."
There was a small shift on her expression. She wasn't able to speak for a moment. Doon ko nakumpirma ang sagot ko at kahit magsinungaling pa siya, I know LJ is right that she's the thief.
"Anong pinagsasasabi mo?" her tone was higher.
I glanced around. Wala namang nakatingin sa'min. "Let's talk somewhere private."
"Ayoko nga," sagot niya at akmang tatalikuran na ako but I held her arm.
"I'll give you money."
One of her brows rose in my offer. She took her arm from me. I thought she'd refuse but without a word, she turned around and left the cafeteria. I quickly went after her.
Lumiko siya papunta sa likod ng cafeteria and I just traced her footsteps. Looking at her feet, I questioned how we missed the detail about her big feet. She's a trapeze artist and for a small woman like her, her feet are really odd. But I know it's one of the things that made her really great on the trapeze aside from her being strong and flexible.
When we reached the back part of the cafeteria where there are big trash bins, she stopped and turned to face me. Her face is stoic, and her usual frown was there. She looks bored and, as usual, like she hates the world.
"So?" She put one hand on her hip. "Why do you want to meet me here?"
I placed my hands in my pockets to act cool. And also, to discreetly press the recording on my phone in my right pocket.
"I know it's you who took LJ's doll," I said.
She stared at me in a bored manner. "No, it's not me."
"Really?"
She let out a heavy sigh. "'Yun lang ba ang gusto mong gawin dito kaya mo ako babayaran?"
I ignored her remark, prying even more to get my answer. "Who are you working for? I know you're not doing this on your own will."
She gave a me a look. A moment later, natawa ito. "Hindi nga ako 'yun."
I shook my head, still not taking her answer. "I won't tell anyone. Just tell me who you're working for and where the doll is."
Her stare lingered on me. And just like what she's been doing so far, she didn't say anything. I thought she was leaving when she started walking in my direction. Her walk slowed down right in front of me and before I could even react, her fist came punching my face.
"Ah..." I hissed when I fell to the ground with her strength and the surprise of what she did.
I held my cheek, trying to check if my jaw still works. She's a beast. Ang lakas ng suntok niya that my glasses even flew off my face and onto the ground beside me.
Having blurry vision and still feeling the pain, I wasn't able to react when she suddenly crouched down beside me and went through the pockets of my pants. When she got through my right pocket, she took my phone out and laughed when she saw that it was recording.
"Akala mo ah." She stood up, grinning and tapping my phone. She stepped back, putting a distance between us. "Sa tingin mo tanga ako?"
I clicked my tongue, still massaging my jaw. But that phone is just another measure for my plan.
I got up from the ground, picked up my glasses and put them on. Her grinning face came into my view clearly. "I know you need money."
"Oh, ano naman ngayon?"
"I'll pay you," I said straightforwardly.
One of her brows rose. "How much?"
"How much do you want?" I asked back with full confidence.
She didn't answer immediately. Her stare stayed on me. Slowly, her grin widened. "You love her that much?"
I grinned back at her. "You're willing to cover for the one who hired you that much?"
"Patawa ka ba?"
I inhaled deeply through my nose. "How much?"
Her eyes went down assessing my body and up again, meeting my gaze. "One million."
My shoulders dropped on her price. "You can't be serious."
"Seryoso ako. Maliit na halaga lang naman 'yun sa inyo, 'di ba?" Her grin turned into a bitter smile, her eyes now glaring at me. "Ang dami mong kinikita sa mga binebenta n'yong artwork. Tsaka mayaman ka, 'di ba?"
"Is that how much you were paid by the person who told you to steal LJ's doll?"
"'Yun 'yung hihingin ko next time," she answered. "Pero kung mas malaki ibibigay mo, sabihin ko sa'yo ang gusto mo."
I gritted my teeth in frustration from the fact that I know I don't have another way to convince her other than using money.
"Fine."
She laughed in victory. "Do the transfer right now."
She threw my phone that she took from my pocket. I almost did not catch it and she just laughed again at that.
I couldn't help my eyes from glaring at her. "How will I know that you're really gonna tell me?"
"Eh, pa'no ko masisiguro na ibibigay mo ang pera kapag nagsalita ako?"
I clicked my tongue, pursing my lips. "I don't have that amount of money right now."
"Ede goodbye."
Without hesitation, she turned to leave. But before I could let her, I spoke to convince her.
"Aren't you afraid I'll tell the Committee about what you did?" I asked.
She looked over her shoulder to me. "May proof ka? Wala, 'di ba?"
"What if meron?"
That made her stop walking away. She turned to face me again. "Ano?"
Her question doesn't sound panicked. It's almost too casual.
"Why would I tell you?" I bluffed.
She shrugged. "Kung meron ka, bakit mo ako pinuntahan pa rito?"
I pressed my teeth hard on one another. Seeing my reaction and my silence, she just laughed again.
"Marami ka pang kakaining bigas, Ali."
Before she could turn to leave again, I made another offer. "I have something else."
Her brows shot up."Pera?"
Umiling ako. "Another doll. You can sell it."
An amused smile took over her lips. "Ilalaglag mo si LJ?"
I gulped, feeling the guilt rising up my throat. No matter how many times I feel like this, it's like I'm still new to the pain.
"Maraming ginawang pieces si LJ," saad ko pampalubag sa sarili and to convince her that I am confident on what I'm doing. If she realizes I'm bluffing, that'll be the end. "You can take one. Mahal ang doll ni LJ."
She nodded like a client who got interested in a deal. "Totoong doll niya ba 'yun?"
"Yes," I confirmed. "Once you get it, give me the info I need."
"Hmm..." She assessed me again from head down to my toe. "Sige, I'll see."
I let out a short breath, remembering what LJ told me earlier. "There's two; one in the reception of her dorm building and the other is in her dorm parcel mailbox. Take whatever's easier for you. I know what you're capable of."
She nodded slowly, grinning. "Okay..."
My gaze bore into her. "Once you get it, we can meet."
She laughed, turning away. "Fine. We'll see."
She left me and I watched her back until it was gone. Looking at her, I thought of how my plan would work out. I know she'll take it. LJ's doll costs millions. And if she ever wants to sell it, I know who she'll sell it to: the real culprit behind this.
That doll is a real offer. So, if Angel really took it, the first client she'll think of is the one who hired her. That someone that is obsessed with LJ's doll or possibly, a psychopath.
If this goes well, I'm hitting two birds with one stone. And this'll be over soon.
Now, I just have to get my camera and come back quickly to watch her. If she decides to take the doll today, I have to be prepared and catch her in the act.
Having that goal in mind, I quickly walked my way to my dorm. She'd be more suspicious if I brought my camera with me so I had to leave it in my dorm. Now that I'm walking back, maybe I should've left it in the receptionist so I can get it easier.
"Mr. Wy," tawag sa akin ng receptionist when I got inside the dorm building. "Miss—"
But I was so focused on what I have to do that I didn't even give her a glance. The elevator was open so I went straight inside, closing the door and pressing the button to the top floor.
Now that a lot of students are going home for the summer, the dorm is practically empty so the elevator trip was fast. I'd consider going home too but with LJ needing my help, I stayed. And I only considered going home because my mother told me to. I just made an excuse because I still feel guilty facing them.
When I got inside my dorm, I went straight into my room, not even taking my shoes off. But I suddenly awoke from my stance when the presence of someone in my dorm surprised me.
"Christ!" I swore, almost jumping when the person in my kitchen pouring herself a glass of water startled me. "LJ!"
She just stared at me, continuing on pouring herself a drink from a pitcher before sipping on the glass.
"You're back already?" I asked, confused. "Why didn't you tell me?"
She moved her glass away from her lips. "Where were you?"
My brows shot up from how serious her tone was. It was almost deadly. "In the cafeteria," I answered honestly.
She huffed a laugh but her eyes remained the same, emotionless. I've never seen her like this.
"What's wrong, LJ?" Panic rose in my chest, overtaking my adrenaline. "Did something happened to you parents—"
"Ali, can I ask?"
My words died in my mouth. Her eyes are now glaring at me. Iba ito from last time when she was angry that I ignored her. Right now, she's giving me a look of apathy.
She placed the glass down the kitchen counter beside the pitcher and her phone but she held onto the glass tight indicated by her knuckles turning white.
She's angry.
"Was it you all along?"
✞ £ ✞