Wooyoung escorted Yeosang out of the servants' wing, practically dragging the prince behind him until they were back in the main part of the castle. "My prince, I fear I was mistaken. Your mother does not want to speak with you after all."
"Oh, okay." Yeosang was glad to avoid a conversation with his mother. It would only be filled with her pestering, no doubt. And he didn't think he could face her after what he'd just done. Or, almost done. "I suppose I should go to my lesson, then."
"Are you alright, my prince? You seem shaken."
Yeosang wasn't the only one who seemed shaken; Wooyoung's face was a shade redder than usual and his hands trembled. But Yeosang put that out of his mind. "Yes, Wooyoungie. But I wish to go to my lesson in silence." He
For the rest of the day, Wooyoung stayed closer to Yeosang than usual. They walked side-by-side rather than the guard trailing behind him. Yeosang couldn't say he minded, it was nice to have a friend with him even if they didn't say much.
And then, things started to go wrong. It started the minute they got to Yeosang's bathing room. Yeosang had just taken off his outer jacket.
"Prince."
Yeosang's fingers paused at the hem of his shirt. "What is it, Wooyoungie?"
"Have you ever considered the possibility that the reason you do not want to marry a princess is because..." The guard hesitated. "Because you would prefer to be with a male." He said that last part as a statement, not a question.
Somehow, Yeosang had known that Wooyoung would say something along those lines. This was too sudden; it couldn't possibly be a coincidence that Wooyoung would bring this subject up the very same day San did.
"You listened to my conversation with San." Yeosang didn't exactly feel betrayed. More like...disappointed. Was he not entitled to privacy? And his face heated up. Wooyoung knew that he was about to kiss San. He feared that the guard would judge him, or even hate him for it.
But the guard's eyes did not look judging, only pleading. "I apologize for eavesdropping, my prince."
Another realization hit him. "You knew my mother never sent for me," he accused. "You just did not want..."
"I felt the need to protect you from him."
Wooyoung may have apologized, but Yeosang knew he did not regret it. He crossed his arms. "My preferences, whatever they may be, would exist regardless of what San said to me, so do not blame him."
Wooyoung shook his head, turning desperate. "This is not about your preferences. Truly, I do not care. This is about San. He will hurt you."
"I realize that you are my personal guard, but you do not need to protect me from those who do not wish me harm."
"And how do you know that he does not wish you harm? You are naïve about a lot of things."
'Naïve' was just a synonym for stupid. By two different people, Yeosang had been called that word. Was he truly? There was no way to prove that San would not hurt him, it was just something Yeosang knew in his heart. "I do not wish to talk about this anymore. Do not bring it up again."
Wooyoung did not look happy, and Yeosang didn't like being the subject of his glare. "Either you are my friend," Wooyoung snapped. "Or you are my boss. Friends do not order each other around like this."
Yeosang gasped. His guard had never spoken to him in such a tone. His eyes had been burning with tears since their conversation began, but now they threatened to spill. He turned away. "You may take your leave early."
"Yeosang, I am sorry. I did not mean to say it like that."
Yeosang bit his lip to keep himself from saying anything. The guard seemed to take the hint, and Yeosang heard his footsteps retreating. "Good night, my prince."
He waited until he heard the door closed before letting his tears fall. This was simply too much for one day. First, what happened in San's bedroom. Yeosang could still feel the way his worldview had shifted.
He'd been thinking about it all day and was almost sure he knew why he couldn't marry a princess. He wished it wasn't so because he also knew that this was something even he could not get his way about. If Yeosang wanted to become king, he would need to marry a princess. Or at least, a female. And he just didn't know if he had it in him.
And then just now...Wooyoung knew about it. He knew about Yeosang's newly discovered preferences and tried to stop him from acting on them. The guard had said that this was about San, but Yeosang wasn't sure he believed him. It seemed that Wooyoung did not want Yeosang to have such experiences with another male, and maybe he was right.
Yeosang barely slept that night. His thoughts kept him up. Why, of all people, did he have to be different? The crown prince; the responsibility of a kingdom soon to be on his shoulders.
With the heat of the moment long gone, Yeosang couldn't believe he actually almost let San kiss him. If such a thing was enough for San to be disgraced from knighthood, what would happen if people found out about Yeosang? He could not let that happen.
~
The next morning, there was a seed of doubt in Yeosang's mind as to whether or not Wooyoung would be waiting outside his door. Perhaps he would be too disgusted with Yeosang to want to continue working for him. Yeosang wasn't sure whether he even wanted to see the guard after their argument yesterday.
But there he was, back straight and looking attentive when Yeosang finally opened the door.
By habit, Yeosang opened his mouth to wish the guard a good morning but he stopped himself before the words could come out. He still felt upset. Wooyoung, one of the people Yeosang trusted most in the world, had disrespected him.
So, after a few moments of intense eye contact, Yeosang walked wordlessly to his dressing room. He stopped at the door and turned around to Wooyoung, just a few feet away. "You may wait for me outside."
Wooyoung bowed his head and allowed Yeosang to go in alone.
For the first time in years, Yeosang dressed by himself, without asking for input from his guard. Perhaps subconsciously, he ended up in the blue shirt Wooyoung always seemed to prefer.
When he walked out and once again connected eyes with his guard, he had to look away quickly. Wooyoung's expression remained stoic, but Yeosang couldn't help feeling judged.
He didn't eat breakfast in the dining hall that morning. Instead, he called a maid to bring his food to him, and he ate in the silence of the sitting room of his wing. It may have been the first time Yeosang had actually put the room to use.
Wooyoung stood by the door, and Yeosang was more aware of his presence than he'd ever been. He considered bringing up the argument they had yesterday but thought better of it. Maybe if he pretended it never happened, Wooyoung didn't mention it either. Yes, that was a good plan. Put some distance between them; let Wooyoung forget what he'd learned about Yeosang.
That day, Yeosang only left his room to attend his lessons. Both lunch and dinner he requested to be brought to his room. The whole time, neither he nor Wooyoung said a word. Then, he did the same thing the next day, and the next.
~~~~
Days passed, and Yeosang never became less distant with Wooyoung. Not cold, just distant. Saying only what was needed. The prince still allowed Wooyoung to escort him around the castle most of the time, but he'd also started dismissing Wooyoung during the times he was deemed unnecessary.
Wooyoung's only comfort was that the prince seemed to be doing the same thing with San. Other than during lessons, Yeosang barely said a word to anybody. Wooyoung couldn't help but think that it was his fault. Perhaps also San's, for doing what he did in that bedroom, but also Wooyoung's. They'd overwhelmed him. They drove him away.
San was scarce these days, but on the fourth day of Yeosang's change in behaviour, he ended up in Yeosang and Wooyoung's path along the halls. Yeosang ignored him but Wooyoung caught his eye. Instead of animosity, a silent conversation occurred between them. San's eyes flickered between him and Yeosang, questioning. Wooyoung shook his head subtly, and they shared a look of fear.
That night, before Wooyoung knew Yeosang would dismiss him, he gathered the courage to ask the prince a question. Something he'd been putting off in fear of the answer. It was the first time he'd initiated a conversation in days.
"Prince?" He asked quietly after they'd made it to Yeosang's bedroom door.
"Yes?" Yeosang's hand shook from its place on the doorknob.
"Do-" Wooyoung swallowed. His voice was hoarse. "Do you still want to attend the wedding with me?"
Yeosang's eyes looked sad, but hopeful. "You would still go with me?"
"Of course, my prince." What had he done to make Yeosang believe he wouldn't want to go with him? To better convince him, he gave his most genuine smile.
Yeosang looked at him for a few seconds. For a moment, Wooyoung was sure Yeosang was going to say 'yes', but then the prince shook his head. "It would be better if I went alone."
"Because of your mother?" Wooyoung couldn't help but ask. If the prince was only trying to respect his mother's wishes, Wooyoung could live with that.
But Yeosang looked away. "Because that is what I want." He opened his door. "You are dismissed."
Words would betray him, so Wooyoung only bowed. He wondered if they were still friends. He wondered how long it would be until Yeosang decided he didn't want Wooyoung around at all.