Chapter 48: Colm Fahey in Ketterdam?
Fuck.
--♤--
If Zaria died during her coma, Jesper was never going to forgive himself.
He will admit though, on the second night, he cried silently, his heart heavy with the weight of guilt and regret.
Zaria's presence had been a constant source of strength and comfort for Jesper, and the thought of losing her was unbearable. He didn't want to lose her, not when he had already lost his mother.
She had been there for him her entire life, when he lost his mother, holding him tightly as he wailed in grief, That night was the first and last night he cried for hours.
Novyi Zem - 29 hours after Aditi's death: Seven-year-old Jesper and eight-year-old Zaria:
Zaria sat in her room, her book stuck to her nose as she read the story of a siren falling in love with a pirate who was supposed to catch her, The door opened, and here stood her Appa with sorrow clear in his eyes.
"Appa!" she exclaimed running towards him and wrapping her arms around his waist earning a low chuckle from him, She looked up hoping to see the usual merry light in his eyes but today hers were met by ones filled with despair, and he was avoiding eye contact.
"What's wrong?" she asked, concern etched on her face, Her father took a deep breath before kneeling holding both her arms gently, "Auntie Aditi is gone, honey," and that's when her little heart sank.
Aditi meant the world to her, she was the mother she wished she had, now she was gone, though she knew how much Jes' mom meant to him as well, tears appeared, and before her father could pull her into a hug.
She slipped away from his hold and ran out of the room, her sandals slapping against the tiled floor.
She could feel the rough fabric of the sandals rubbing against her ankles, the hot pavement burning her feet through the brown leather, and the sun wanting to melt her.
But she didn't care, all she could think about was Jes and how he must be feeling at the moment, She had to get to him.
As she ran, the world around her became a blur, she passed by busy shops and restaurants, dodging people and carriages as she went, ignoring people yelling at her to watch out, the sun beat down on her, but she barely noticed.
After what felt like an eternity, she finally reached the outskirts of town.
She ran past fields of crops, the tall stalks brushing against her legs and slapping her face, Jurda Parem's orange petals stuck on her inky hair as she ran, jumping up fences and stone walls, and sprinting down the flower field even the ones that she was allergic to and that will make her sneeze days and nights.
all that to get to him, her best friend, her brother from another mother as she said.
her heart pounded in her chest as she got closer and closer to Jesper's house, The cherry tree was the first thing her eyes landed on, Aditi's full name and date of birth carved on a stone, She didn't even notice her tear-stained cheeks.
Zaria's heart broke at the thought of Jes being alone in that house now that his mother was gone, She burst through the door, calling out for him, "Jesper!" No response and worry started to eat her alive.
"Jes-" she stopped once tiny feet appeared over her head on one of the trees, The girl sighed in relief before climbing the tree, her legs ached terribly at how fast she ran, but she finally found him.
Young Jesper stared blankly at the cherry tree where his mother was buried, tears racing nonstop and falling to the ground once they reached his chin.
He didn't dare to look away, way too numb to even utter a word.
Zaria took a seat beside him, "Oh Jes," she spoke softly, pulling him into her embrace, and as soon as her arms wrapped around him, he broke down, finally letting out loud sobs, wailing against her shoulder.
She knew that nothing she could say or do would make it all better, she sucked at comforting a person, she herself was used to hiding it all until her father cracked her open, so this was all her mother's fault.
but she hoped that her presence would bring him some comfort at least, She prayed that her presence would bring him some comfort instead of words.
She was crushed as well, Aditi was a lovely woman, the best she ever met, she took care of Zaria as she did to Jesper, she taught her embroidery, make the loveliest tea, charge a gun and they both helped Jesper with shooting.
Losing her hurts like losing your own mother, but she kept strong for Jesper even if her own heart ached terribly.
--♤--
She was his sister, and every sister deserves an older brother or sibling to feel safe.
Jesper was so glad that she was with him in Ketterdam because he will admit; her with him healed the empty spot that missed his home dearly, he wasn't alone like he thought he was.
He never was, he had Inej, his best friend, Wylan, his...he didn't know yet, his friend, his soulmate, lover maybe? And Nina! The Heartrender he loved to annoy and adored (will never stop annoying her), Matthias, the Drüskelle he loved to annoy as well.
and lastly Kaz Brekker, his brother.
Apparently.
But now Zaria was here, his sister, his right hand, and his entire family were finally completed, the dregs were his family.
Though, even if he swore he would tell Zaria anything and everything, he couldn't tell her about what happened between him and Kaz, he didn't have the courage, Jesper Llewellyn Fahey without courage? Impossible.
But he couldn't tell her, knowing that both the Storm and Dirtyhands liked each other, he didn't dare to utter a sentence about his and Kaz's relationship at the moment, because if he did, she would have to choose sides.
how his relationship with his brother is on edge, strained, and complicated all at once, he thought.
Either she will be by his side (he knew 100% she would) and both she and Kaz will end up hurt and bicker even more, and the love for one another will slowly fade knowing how harsh and hurtful these two can be. Or Kaz's.
He doesn't want to put her in a position where she has to choose between them, she loves them both, and she cares for them both.
Saints. Everything was getting harder. Jesper sighed, It was a constant uphill battle, and Jesper could feel the weight of it all pressing down on him.
And now, Colm Fahey was in Ketterdam, to see his precious son and the daughter of his dearest best friend who passed away long ago,
Zaria never expected it, really she didn't, "How does it feel to be dead?" asked Jesper, the optimistic light had gone from his eyes as he thought about everything.
Matthias had no answer, "What will they do with his body?" asked Zaria still by Kaz's side, It made Jesper look between them, watching the way her eyes were around the bastard of the barrel.
"It's probably already ashes on the Reaper's Barge," replied Kaz, Ouch, poor Muzzen he deserved a proper funeral where all the crows are present.
"There's something else?" spoke Rotty glancing at her then Kaz, then at her again, "Someone's kicking up dust looking for Jesper and Miss Isla as well," She narrowed her eyes, Who? Tamaya isn't allowed to be here, she forbids it, her step mother-
Did he just call her Miss Isla?
"His creditors will have to wait," said Kaz, Zaria glared at him and Jesper winced, "No." she ordered, shooting him the harshest look before turning to Rotty.
"You can't just say that- Who is it Rotty?" she asked shooting a look towards Kaz, who didn't bother to argue back, "a man showed up at the university. Jesper, he claims he's your father. And your uncle, Zaria."
Silence fell, Zaria's eyes widened, and went to Jesper who stared at her in shock, "fuck." they both said in unison, "we will have a talk later." she warned the boy turning back to the man,
Zaria walked towards Rotty, "are you sure?" he nodded in response, "I am fucked," said Jesper taking off his hat and scratching the back of his head in frustration, Zaria chewed on her lips.
"Okay we don't know, everyone in Novyi Zem knows that we grew up together so it's maybe one of those assholes who are the reason why I left, because if they have you, they have me as well. Maybe it's a trick." she spoke earning a nod from Jesper who let out another sigh, "maybe,"
"I should check," she said, grabbing her scarf that was on Kaz's shoulder and starting to walk away.
"Stop." started Kaz shooting her a sharp look, "What if it is him? You will put us all in danger." he said, earning a look from her for the third time, "When did I ever put you all in danger, bastard?" she asked sharply, crossing her arms.
never.
"Still, you can get caught." he said mirroring her look, watching as she rolled her eyes at him, "Do you know what he looks like Rotty?" she asked again pulling the zipper of her boots down and ignoring the leader, "dark red hair, pale skin and grey eyes,"
A sigh left her lips, "That does sound like Colm."
--♤--
Jesper felt like his clothes were crawling with fleas, like cockroaches running up and down his body, whenever the crew left Black Veil Island to skulk around the Barrel, they wore the costumes of the Komedie Brute; the capes, veils, masks, and occasionally horns that tourists and locals alike used to disguise their identities while enjoying the pleasures of the Barrel.
Well, Zaria wanted to be the Scarab Queen but she wore something more...respectable to meet Jesper's father because he mentioned both their names to the university.
But here on the respectable avenues and canals of the university district, Mister Crimson and the Gray Imp would have drawn a lot of stares, so Jesper and Wylan had ditched their costumes as soon as they were clear of the Staves.
And if Jesper was honest with himself, he didn't want to meet his father for the first time in years dressed in a goggle-eyed mask or an orange silk cape or even his usual Barrel flash, he really hoped the stares he got would boost his ego.
but not today, he'd dressed as respectably as he could and the stares didn't do anything.
And yes, he did force Zaria to come along because it was too "awkward", Wylan lent him a few kruge for a secondhand tweed jacket and a gloomy gray waistcoat.
Jesper didn't look precisely reputable, but students weren't supposed to look too prosperous anyway, Back when Jes and Z were at school they were miserable and did mostly pranks,
Zaria on the other hand refused when Wylan wanted to lend her some money as well, She stole some clothes from a random house, she wore a short-sleeved button-up and a black long skirt.
To maintain her enigmatic allure, she shrouded her face with a shimmering emerald green scarf to watch the colors of the Scarab Queen, its ethereal beauty concealing her features.
As she adjusted the fabric, her hand instinctively found its way to the center of her chest, where a hidden pouch lay beneath her skin, delicately positioned on her breastbone.
There, nestled beneath the captivating green silk, resided her most trusted companion, a dagger gifted to her by no other than Kaz Brekker, the tiny diamond shining like stars on her brown skin.
Each time a WANTED posture of her with a good amount of money appeared (that even the king of Ravka himself would be shocked to see it), her hand clenched around the poster and she ripped the paper along with the rest, stomping on them as she continued her merry way.
While she reached for the comfort of her dagger, Jesper once again found himself reaching for his revolvers, longing for the cool, familiar feel of their pearl handles beneath his thumbs.
That asshole of a lawyer had ordered the floor boss to store them in a safe at the Cumulus.
Kaz said they'd get them back in good time, but he doubted Kaz would be so calm and collected if someone had swiped his cane, saints every brain cell in that mind of his would explode.
'You're the one who put them on the table like a nub' Jesper reminded himself mentally slapping himself and shaking his head, he'd done it for Inej.
And if he was honest, he'd done it for Kaz too, to show he was willing to do what it took to make things right. Not that it seemed to matter much.
Jesper opened his mouth to tell Zaria the entire truth but once his eyes landed on her.
her hair in the most elegant ponytail, front strands out and jasmine wrapping around her hair, teardrop-shaped bindi in a deep green hue that harmonized with the emerald tones of her scarf, the crystal on top matching with the embroidery of her scarf.
she looked like a saint.
those mesmerizing eyes that shifted from various shades of brown to a golden hue, the carefully applied eyeliner accentuated their cat-like shape, while the cherry-painted lips added a touch of allure to her already enchanting appearance.
my saint-
Jesper closed his mouth, not daring to spit a word, "I can't. Absolutely not." he whispered making Zaria turn to him, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.
"What?" she asked, a playful chuckle escaping her lips, "Meeting Colm? I am nervous as well," she admitted, her attention returning to the road ahead.
Students and professors didn't go from class to class packing powder, or holding a dagger, which might make for a more interesting school day if they did.
Even so, Jesper had hidden a sad lump of a pistol beneath his coat, jealous of his girl best friend who still had her precious dagger, hidden saints knows where.
This was Ketterdam, after all, and it was possible he, Wylan and Zaria were walking into a trap.
Jesper wondered what Kaz thought the first time his eyes landed on her this way, she was already beautiful since day one she appeared in this world, but now she managed to convince the bastard of the barrel that saints indeed did exist.
Yes, Kaz did come with her to help her find a good outfit.
*An hour ago*
He couldn't see her smile, he couldn't see her face, but her silhouette was enough, her waist, and when he squinted his eyes he could see her angry scars, "Oh yeah? I don't believe that at all,"
She had sensed his withdrawal, the distance growing between them, and it pained her to see him shutting her out, Zaria cast a glance back at Kaz through the semi-transparent screen for the second time,
This time, he didn't look away, didn't dare to, and she could feel his eyes following every move she made, his eyes went from her braid that opened by itself as she moved, down her shoulder blades, then to her scars, stopping at her waist.
He shouldn't- he shouldn't stare, he really tried to look away, he fought every muscle in his body begging his mind to let him turn away, but his mind refused, ordering him to take in every damn curve.
He opened his mouth, first words leaving like a whisper but then he cleared his throat, fixing his posture and feeling so hot, his hands were sweating, his whole body.
The intensity of his stare sent a shiver down her spine, a mix of vulnerability and desire intertwining within her, 'What is happening? What is wrong with me?' she looked away immediately, hurriedly grabbing the white shirt and wearing it.
Shock rushed through her veins, "I shouldn't feel such things! I shouldn't even think about such a thing!" she whispered with wide eyes, brown intense eyes still staring at her back with a strange sparkle...
the flush on his cheeks betrayed his inner turmoil, "There's nothing," he replied curtly, his voice laced with a hint of frustration and something else she couldn't quite name, "Inej was taken, that's it."
she didn't dare to say something else, she just nodded avoiding his piercing gaze, as she put on her skirt and discarded her pants, Zaria's voice trembled as she tried to regain her composure.
"Okay, fine," she replied, her words tinged with a mix of hurt and defiance, "You don't have to be cold about it, and you can leave if you wish." Her heart pounded in her chest, her nerves on edge as she awaited his response.
She couldn't deny the effect he had on her, the way he made her feel both alive and uncertain. Now this was serious, she was falling in love and hard,
Her words hung in the air and Kaz watched her fix her hair, still not wearing her shirt properly that it showed her shoulders, a storm in his eyes, anger, craving, revenge, all at once raining down on him.
The air thickened with an undeniable sexual tension, drawing them closer despite their attempts to resist it, their desires intertwining and fueling the intensity of the moment.
Zaria's heart raced, her breath quickening as Kaz's presence seemed to consume the room, Despite him being sat far away, her mind and body were acutely aware of his proximity, of the magnetic pull between them.
his palms grew clammy he wanted to rip his gloves for fuck's sake, and he found himself unable to tear his gaze away from her, taking it all her features, the way her muscles moved-
"You don't want me to leave," Kaz finally spoke, his voice low and husky, each word dripping with the weight of unspoken feelings. His refusal to retreat mirrored her own longing, sending a jolt of electricity through her veins.
she hated how her voice quivered as she replied, "No, I don't," she admitted, her head moving to the side so her eyes locked with his. The air crackled with tension, the unspoken words between them echoing in the charged silence.
she buttoned her shirt before walking out, walking towards him, her ankle bracelet like music to his ears as she made her way towards him.
Kaz sat there, legs slightly separated, and the right one stretched in front of him, his gloved hand tapped on the table beside him, eyes going down and stopping at the shirt that was lifted, slightly exposing her stomach.
"uhm, can you tie my corset? please? if you want to..." She was tightening it while walking towards him, the corset hidden under her shirt where her dagger would be, Without a word he fixed his posture and gave a barely visible nod.
Her breath hitched, her blood rushing through her veins, her stomach going off like a firecracker as she positioned herself in front of him, Kaz's gloved hands hovered momentarily trembling badly, hesitating for the briefest of moments, before he delicately reached behind her.
he didn't dare to touch her skin as his fingers found the laces of the corset, though the sensation of his gloved hands against her skin sent a shudder down her spine, intensifying the charged atmosphere between them.
every hair in her body rose, and time seemed to stand still as Kaz skillfully worked the laces, his movements methodical and precise just like with his card and opening locks.
Each tug and adjustment brought them closer together, both physically and emotionally, and she took a step forward every time the leather touched her skin making her gasp.
Zaria's breath caught in her throat as she surrendered herself to the vulnerability of the moment, As Dirtyhands secured the final knot, he put his hand away immediately, landing on his lap, his eyes tracing the contours of her form.
she took a step forward, keeping a good distance between them, The corset hugged her curves, accentuating her silhouette in a way that left him spellbound.
His voice, laden with a mixture of admiration, broke the silence, You look beautiful, Storm," he murmured again, his words carrying a hint of vulnerability only she heard in his entire life.
She grinned brightly at him, she didn't have to put on any blush, because it looked like she already put some, as she walked away her scent surrounded him and brainwashed him as she spoke.
"Thank you, Dirtyhands,"
This girl was driving him mad.
--♤--
A/N: I AM BACK!!!!!!! Sorry for taking a while, lots of problems and I didn't take my computer while going back to my country<3 but i'm back in france and want to kill myself because school just started, but here you have Z AND KAZZLE AGAIN WITH THE TENSION😩😩😩😩😩😩😩⁉️🛐
All hail Storm and Dirtyhands🗣
I love this chapter sm.