"It is quite a necklace." Carina's mama says as she enters the room, looking at Carina wear a necklace gifted to her by one of her suitors. "Do you like it?"
"It is very beautiful." Carina replies, mustering up a dim smile.
"But do you like it?" her mama pressed. Tired with the game of cat and mouse, Carina says,
"If you should have something to say, Mama, please say it."
Clearly hesitant of her next words, Violet replies, "Well, I only wonder... If you wear that necklace at tonight's ball, what will the duke think?"
"Oh, Mama!" Carina exclaims exasperated. Duke this, Duke that, her mama just couldn't let the Duke go.
"Until you have decided to accept the anyone else's proposal, I simply think you should keep your mind open." her mama said desperately, hoping Carina would agree,
"Mama, I do not care what the duke thinks. Besides, he will not even be at tonight's ball." Carina comments offhandedly as she brushes her perfectly styled hair, trying to find a distraction.
"What happened between the two of you? her mama questioned.
"Nothing happened." Carina said defensively. "He is leaving."
"I know my daughter. I know it was not nothing between you." Violet says.
"You do not know. You do not know anything." Carina exclaimed, the burden of keeping up with the lies, especially from her mama, finally too much to bear. She was beginning to crack, and she did not have enough strength to fill those up anymore,
"Carina, I know what I saw!" her mama exclaimed, now voices of both women raised, filled with emotion and desperation.
"What you saw...was a lie." Carina says, turning to face her mother.
"What?"
"It was a lie. It was a ruse. The... duke and I, we were pretending, all so I could attract a suitor of a high enough rank, all so I could be that much more... desirable, and the duke unavailable." Carina said, looking around and finding tasks to busy herself. Brushing her hair, putting some rogue, wearing her gloves.
"It was an agreement. It was an act, and it worked. We got what we wanted. You did, too. I now can have anyone, even the Prince. You should be proud." she said.
"What I wanted, dearest, was for you to have the best, not in terms of rank, but love. And what I have seen between you and the duke..." violet says, tears slipping from her eyes, when Carina interrupted her, with a crack in her voice and tear in her eyes.
"It was not real, Mama! Everything you saw... None of it was real." She panted, lowering her voice and reeling her emotions in.
"Well, it... It is over now. I do not have to pretend any longer." She sat down on her chair, and let out a sob.
"I am sorry, Mama. I am so sorry. I did not mean to lie to you, I am so sorry." Carina cried, as her mama rushed to her and held her. "It is a beautiful necklace, I should like it very much." Carina whispered, now calm, and returned to prepare for the night's ball.
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As we all know, there is nothing this author loves more than a scandal, and tonight's soiree promises more than its fair share, courtesy of the recently widowed Lady Trowbridge.
Some may call her celebrations too provocative, and I would caution any young lady from getting caught up in the sensual nature of her fêtes. For one scandalous move between an unwed couple, a wayward touch, or heaven forbid, a kiss, would banish any young lady from society in a trail of ruin.
Carina was standing at the corner of the dance floor when someone called her name, "Carina!" Cressida said as she came and stood by her side, "You look beautiful, as always." she said.
"Thank you, Cressida. So do you." Carina replied politely.
"You could have chosen anyone. You have gentlemen lined up to pay you tribute. Yet you did not hesitate to steal my chance for happiness away, did you?" Cressida said, making Carina confused for a bit, until she realised. She had never thought the consequences of accepting the dance from the Prince on other people that day, and Carina felt horrible Cressida felt like that. They weren't friends, but no two women should fight and feel less than the best of themselves for a man.
"I knew the marriage market would make rivals of us, but I never thought you capable of being my enemy." Cressida continued, when Carina finally spoke up, "Oh Cressida! I am so sorry you thought that. I assure you I do not want the Prince, and I really do wish you the best in your life."
"But the dance-"
"Was accepted due to nothing but out of politeness. Do you not remember everyone's eyes on the matter that evening?" Carina chuckled as she whispered the next part, "The Queen would have my head if I rejected her nephew in front of everyone."
Both the girls giggled at that and Carina said after a beat, "I admit the Prince had seen me as a potential partner at a point, Cressida. But, ask him, we are just good friends. We will never marry. And oh! Would you look at that, looks like your dance card has the Prince's name on it and he seems to be free."
Cressida just smiled, and mouthed thank you to Carina as she walked towards the Prince and Carina walked towards an Earl, a possible suitor, the one whose necklace she wore that evening.
As they were dancing, the Earl started talking to Carina, "They appear to be enjoying themselves."
"Yes. My brother Colin certainly knows how to make things memorable." she said, smiling at the hidden taunt to her twin.
"Well, perhaps I may do the same. I know we've only known each other a short time, Miss Bridgerton, but from the moment I laid eyes on you, I, uh..." oh no! It was happening, Carina switched dancers quickly, and as she danced pass the Prince and Cressida, both of them offered her a pleasant smile.
Only while turning back to the Earl, she saw Simon out of the corner of her eyes.
Carina began panicking. It was too much, it was all too much. Simon was here, her Simon, the one who should have been across the ocean by now, was here. And the Earl was about to propose, and while she had planned to accept his proposal at the beginning of the ball, it all suddenly seemed futile. She could not spare a single thought to what future could be like with the Earl. She could not betray her own self like that, by suppressing her feelings. And suddenly, the necklace she wore seemed too tight, too gaudy, too shiny, too big. While it was a beautiful piece, it wasn't one that suited her. Suddenly it seemed to stand out against her skin and dress, and not in a good way.
"Ah! There you are." The Earl said as they switched partners again,
"Here I am, My Lord."
"As I was saying, the truth is I joined this season to find someone to start a life with. To have a family with. And so I find myself left with one question to ask. Miss Bridgerton..." as their dance came to an end, so did Carina's patience and ability to keep up the pretence. She needed to be alone. Now.
"I need a moment. To refresh myself, My Lord." She whispered, and tried to escape unnoticed, only it seemed like every one was watching her.
"Miss Bridgerton, are you yet engaged?" some lady questioned as she passed her, while another one said ,
"You must set me up with one of those brothers I hear the Earl has."
As she half turned to look at the lady who said that, she bumped into someone and quickly turned around,
"Do watc- Carina? What happened? Are you alright?" Cressida asked in concern but her voice seemed muffled. Carina just knew that she had to get out of here, and fast.
Practically running out of the building, Carina reached a garden wall in front of the building and finally breathed in some air. Breathing was still difficult, her breaths shallow but at least she had some air entering her lungs now. In a desperate attempt to calm down and breathe, she leaned on the railing sized garden wall and clawed the suffocating necklace out of her neck. She could finally stop her racing thoughts enough to think a bit more clearly now. Then she heard a familiar voice calling out her name, "Miss Bridgerton."
"What are you doing here? I thought you were leaving London." Carina asked, leaving her necklace on the wall, forgotten.
"I was. I am. I came to say goodbye." he answered, looking to be in as much pain as Carina. Oh but why would he be in pain?
"To whom?" She questioned, refusing to let the wall around her heart melt again. Only, she knew deep down it had melted the moment he called her name, with so much emotion in his voice that he could fool anyone to believe that Carina was important to him.
"To you." he whispered, a pleading tone to his words.
"Your goodbye is wholly unnecessary. We are not friends. No need to burden yourself in my company for that when you wish to be rid of me, as you made abundantly clear." She hissed back, hurt from his words yesterday at the lake finally pouring out of her heart.
"And I am sorry for that. I did not-"
"Please, do not apologize." She sternly interrupted.
"I shall not be led once more by you from this direction to that. You are my friend. You are not my friend. You are a rake. You are not a rake.
You are sorry..."
"I am sorry." It was his turn to interrupt.
"That is very well. But you should know that your apology has absolutely no effect on my life, nor does your leaving London. I shall marry a suitable man and live happily." She said, wanting, willing him to change his answer, willing him to tell her that he wanted her, that he was here for her.
"Will you be? Happy?" He whispered instead, resigned, with his eyes tearing up.
"Why would I not be? The Earl who proposed tonight is kind, and adoring. And if I shall not marry him, I can find others. I am in no hurry to marry." She answered back.
"And so you truly believe him the best man for you?" He questioned, the perfect picture of someone giving up. What he was giving up, that she did not know.
"How dare you question my choices? They are my choices to make, not yours. I do not have to explain myself to you. I do not owe you anything." Carina said, outraged at Simon's crypticness, and his audacity to act like this when he clearly never considered her a friend.
"Are you going to say anything?" Simon remained silent, angering her further.
"Well, then, leave. You did not need to say goodbye. You do not owe me anything!"
"I did not come to say goodbye." He finally blurted out. "I came because I could not leave, knowing you were cross with me, knowing you hated me. I know you are to be mad" he pleaded.
"I do not hate you. I hate myself, for allowing myself to believe we could be something as ridiculous of a notion as friends. If that is it, then leave." Carina said, as she turned and began fast walking towards the garden.
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Author's note:
Here's a little piece for you guys! I have been working on a new project for a while now, so I think I can edit up the story soon. Enjoy! This was more of a filler chapter though.