He parked his car beside mine.
"What is it?"
I bit my lower lip.
"Noong umalis ako, I didn't had a clue that it could be possible"
He looked at me, brows furrowed.
"Mama and I just left without any questions, Kuya Ashro promised me they'd help you in anyway"
"What is it? Just fucking tell me, we don't have the whole night"
"I got pregnant, Leonard"
He stopped and looked at me.
"I'm sorry, I must've skipped pills, I know you don't want it, but--"
"What did you say?"
I bit my lower lip, my hands were already trembling.
"Amethyst, what did you say?"
"I got pregnant before we parted ways, we have a child, Leonard"
He stopped.
"Leonard..."
"We have a child" he slowly said.
"Yes, we have a son, he's four, his name is Leonel"
"We have a child!"
Napapikit ako sa riin ng boses niya.
"God damn it, Amethyst, we have a child!"
I nodded.
"Where is he?"
"He's in my condo, he's probably asleep"
Agad itong bumaba, my eyes widened when he did, agad akong sumunod.
"Leonard, saglit lang"
"You just told me we have a child, now you want me to wait? Five years, Amethyst"
He pressed the lift button.
"Wait, he might be asleep already"
"At least let me see him" he demanded.
We went to the lift, my heart pounded in my chest.
"H-He's known about you for a while now"
Mariin siyang pumikit, his jaw clenched.
The lift opened, agad kong kinuha ang susi ko at saka iyon binuksan, I let him in.
"Mama's asleep, too, d-dito ang kwarto niya"
He only glanced at me coldly, we went to his room, Leonel was deeply asleep in his bed, nilingon ko si Leonard, his eyes were wide and bloodshot as his eyes stayed on our son, I stepped aside so he could go in.
He walked in a slow manner with heavy steps.
He sat beside him.
"H-How old is he again?"
"He's four, turning five"
"What did you name him?"
"Shawn Leonel Villareal"
"Where were you?"
"We were in Iceland, I gave birth to him there, he grew up there, kakauwi lang namin, a month ago"
He held Leonel's hand, my heart hurt as I saw him covered his eyes with his other hand.
"Fuck, I have a child"
I bit my lower lip.
"Why didn't you tell me when we first saw each other?"
"I didn't know how"
"You could've rub it into my face"
"I'm sorry"
Nilapitan niya ito at saka hinalikan sa noo, Leonel moved.
"Mama..." he murmured.
I bit my lower lip, Leonel slowly opened his eyes, still very sleepy.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you" Leonard said.
Nagkusot ng mata si Leonel, he stared at Leonard sleepily, naupo ito, Leonard was not sure where to touch him, agad akong lumapit.
"Baby..."
Leonel looked at Leonard confusely.
"Baby, this is your Papa"
I saw how Leonel stopped and looked at Leonard.
"P-Papa?"
Leonard tried to smile at him.
"H-Hey, big boy"
Leonel's eyes widened, his tears threathened.
"I'm sorry it took so long" Leonard said, consoling the both of them.
Leonel reached out to Leonard, Leonard leaned closer and attentive to Leonel, agad yumakap si Leonel sa leeg ng Papa niya, Leonard's eyes widened, the little sobs from my son made my eyes water.
"Papa" Leonel sobbed.
Leonard couldn't react at the moment but he then hugged him and buried his face on my son's shoulder.
"I'm sorry" Leonard repeatedly said to him.
I glance at Mama who is standing by the door, mukhang nagising ito, my mom smiled at me, she looked proud at me.
"Papa" Leonel just kept on calling him while crying on his shoulder, hugging Leonard tighter.
It was like he was intaking all the space he could get to embrace his Papa, my heart hurt so much seeing my son this way.
Hinagod ko ang likod ni Leonel, I could hear Leonard faintly whispering to him.
"Please, don't go away anymore" my son pleaded.
"No, I won't go, Papa will stay, Papa will stay" he assured.
I bit my lower lip, Mama brought two glasses of water for them, pinainom ko si Leonel.
Kumuha ako ng pamalit niya at pamunas, nakayakap pa rin siya kay Leonard.
"Leonel, let's change your shirt"
Saglit itong kumawala kay Leonard, inabot ni Leonard ang pamunas mula sa akin at saka pinunasan si Leonel.
Tahimik na nakatingin si Leonel sa Papa niya.
"Will you leave?" He asked.
My heart broke.
"No, Papa won't leave, I'll be with you, baby" Leonard assured him.
They both glance at me, I just smiled at Leonel.
Kinuha ko ang pinagpalitan ni Leonel, I put it in the rack at saka bumalik sa kanila, Leonard was tucking Leonel onto his bed.
Leonel looked scared that his Papa might leave.
"I'll just get my bag in my car, I will be back, baby" paalam ni Leonard rito.
Bumangon si Leonel.
"Can I come? Please"
Nilingon ako ni Leonard, I sighed and nodded at him.
"I can walk, Papa" he said, nang umamba si Leonard na kakargahin siya.
Leonard nodded, they both looked at me, sumunod lang ako sa kanilang dalawa.
Leonel looked at his Papa's car as Leonard took out his dufle bag, Leonel glance at me.
"Mama, you said we'll visit great grandma, when is that?"
Nilingon ako ni Leonard.
"Next day tomorrow, baby"
"Can Papa come?"
I looked at Leonard, Leonel looked at his Papa hopefully.
"He can come, baby, but I think your Papa is busy"
"I'll clear my schedule, I'll come with you" he said to Leonel.
He glanced at me, I only sighed and looked at Leonel, inaya ko na siya sa lift.
Leonard showered in my room, sinamahan ko si Leonel sa kwarto niya at ayaw pang matulog.
When Leonard came in ay saka pa lang pumayag si Leonel na mahiga at magpahinga.
"Mama, can you sleep here tonight?"
Nakahiga na si Leonard sa tabi niya, he only looked at me in a distant manner.
"Okay, I'll just wash up"
Leonel nodded, tumungo ako sa kwarto at naligo saglit, I wore a white shirt and checkered pajamas, tinuyo kong mabuti ang buhok ko bago tumungo sa kanila, Leonel was already asleep, hinahaplos ni Leonard ang buhok nito, he glanced at me and gestured the space beside Leonel.
Nahiga ako roon, I kissed Leonel's head and made myself comfortable.
"How long have he known about me?"
"Ever since he was able to speak and understand things around him"
"He... ask for me?"
"A lot of times"
"What do you tell him?"
I sighed.
"I told him you're far from us and we can't see you because you're busy and because I left"
"Tell me, why didn't you try to contact me?"
He sounded regretful.
"I'm sorry, I tried to hide it from dad, kaya itinago ko na rin sa'yo"
"Was he hard to nurse?"
"My post partum had me bad so it was a little hard for me"
Mariin siyang pumikit, niyakap ko si Leonel.
"I'm sorry, I had no idea"
"No, you don't have to say sorry, you have nothing to say sorry about, it was my choice to not tell you"
"I want to be part of your lives again"
"Okay, we can fix his papers again to change his last name, we can establish a co-parenting--" he cuts me off.
"Co-parenting? I said, both of your lives, I will change both of your last name, Amy"
I watched him.
"You don't have to change mine, I'm fine with a co-parenting set up, I don't want us to settle for our child"
He looked mad, ngunit hindi nagsalita at pumikit na lang.
"What breakfast does he like?" He asked while eyes closed.
"Soufflé pancakes"
He nodded.
"Sleep, we'll talk more tomorrow"
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