The hospital visit was tense. Heiran was surprised to have the doctor confirm that her ligament was intact although a bit stretched. From the way it was hurting, she was almost sure that her leg had become an absolute mess. The nurses at the ER had simply iced and wrapped her leg in an elastic bandage with instructions to give it ample rest. The elbow cut wasn't too severe and she was given the thumbs-up to leave after they had cleaned and dressed the injury. All the while Jungkook hung around her like a shadow, his silence so cold she felt like shivering under his gaze. It was so characteristic of Jungkook to turn cold and silent when he was angered, but something about his quietness was way too disturbing. Even Heiran was feeling quite intimidated by it. His silence seemed to hold a sort of unexplainable weight; it was hard to speak or resist him.
She wondered if this was how his opponents felt at court being on the opposing side of the great Silent Wolf.
He must've taken note of her holding her broken heels in hand at some point. Heiran didn't understand where he was taking her after the hospital visit until he stopped the car in front of a local shoe store. She hated this silence, this inability to not say anything to him. She hated not being in control, being carted around by him wherever he pleased.
Wanting to have some semblance of control over the situation, she remained in the car. She half-expected him to argue with her or speak even if it was just to know her shoe size, but he had no need for that information. He already knew it.
So she was sitting alone in his car, watching the raindrops begin to fall on the windshield one by one, glittering like diamonds as they reflected the light from street lamps. She got out of the car and held out her hand, feeling the light cooling sensation as the droplets fell on her palm. The stars were obscured by rain clouds. The streets were cooling after the hot sun's aggression, she could feel the heat in the air. It was beginning to get late. There was almost no one around in the area. It was calming.
She found a metal bench nearby the store and limped up to it, sitting down to feel the raindrops on her face, wondering how in the world she'd landed herself in this awkward situation. Heiran was going to play it cool, and let him deal with the consequences of his actions until he ran out of his resolve and realized what a stupid mistake he had made. Then she was supposed to exact her revenge when he came back for her. Never in a million years did she imagine ever ending up with him in the awkwardness. This was the worst.
She thought back to the time death paid her a momentary visit earlier. She could still feel the exact moment her heels had snapped and she fell onto the road. The memory made her heart race from fear. She was so sure she would die. So sure that it was all going to end.
The feeling you felt after a close brush in with death was unexplainable. This feeling made you question the fragility of your existence and how small your worldly problems felt in the face of life and death. She had regretted it for a second back then for never saying the things she'd wanted to tell him. The fact that on the threshold of life and death, her greatest regret was him made her question her decisions in a whole new manner. Was Heiran being unnecessarily superficial? These petty feelings and pride... Did they really matter in the end?
Jungkook returned shortly after with a pair of comfy-looking flats in a bag. Upon discovering her on the side-walk bench, he walked up to her crouched down at her feet. Realizing what he was trying to do, she held out her hand to stop him.
"Wait, I can wear it myself, you don't have to do it—"
Jungkook's only response was his bone-chilling stare. Feeling incredibly intimidated, she withdrew her hands and let him be. He inhaled as if to calm himself down. It seemed that he was still very much angry for whatever reason he was angry. "Why didn't you stay in the car? You've gotten your bandage dirty now."
She rolled her eyes. "Chill. It's not a big deal."
"Not a big deal, you say?" He grumbled furiously under his breath as he placed the white flats beneath her foot. "You just won't stop being careless and look after yourself. Care about your own well-being. It's not that hard."
Ah. So that's what he was mad about. How typical of him.
"Well, genius, why don't you ask me why I do that? Why don't you ask why I risked my life to save your a*s?"
Jungkook paused, his hands still lingering near her foot, his gaze fixed on the shoes. Heiran scoffed. "You don't need to ask me that, do you? Because the clever Silent Wolf already knows the answer to that question. Did you know it all along or did you just figure it out?"
She noticed his shoulder muscles straining as he went rigid at her question. His grip on the shoes tightened she could feel the pressure on her toes. She figured her guess was spot on.
"A little bit of both, huh? Cool. I'll spell it out for you anyway." Heiran snarled, her own anger beginning to arise. All the bitter feelings she had kept inside her, all the injustice she felt that she thought she had forgotten broke through like an invisible door had been opened. He was such a jerk. He was the one who misunderstood her, who didn't trust her, and left her on his own volition. Now he had the galls to act as he cared? It made her blood boil. She didn't want to know if he was listening to her words, she didn't even care if he didn't believe them. She was going to clarify some things once and for all. Because Heiran didn't want to live with the regret that she didn't clear her name anymore.
"You're not the only one who has got someone to protect. You're not the only one who..." Heiran clenched her fists and squeezed her eyes shut, pushing through before the familiar lump in her throat had a chance to deter her. "..who loves someone."
Jungkook raised his head, his eyes widened in shock. He blinked unable to believe what he was witnessing, as if he couldn't trust his ears.
"And what did you say? 'We're hanging onto something that doesn't exist?' God, you're so poetic to the very end, aren't you?"
Jungkook opened his mouth, trying to talk but Heiran cut him off before he could even start. Not again, she wasn't going to let him say his thing and walk off again without giving her a chance to explain. This time, she would make sure that he listened to what she had to say. She leaped up from the sidewalk bench, towering over him. The raindrops had become a little intense, she sensed the droplets seeping into her clothes. The pit-a-patter of the raindrops was slowly beginning to rise in volume.
"BULLSH*T!! You're just a selfish jerk who wants to shoulder all the pain by yourself. That's why you kicked me out. That's why you left me!"
The drizzle had turned into actual rain, faint rumbles sounding in the sky as lightning streaked across its dark canvas. Jungkook slowly rose to his feet, his lips parted and rendered speechless. But Heiran was by no means done.
"And what was that other thing you said? Oh! That what we had wasn't real? That it was all nothing but an illusion?" She huffed out a bitter laugh, "Well, I don't know about you but it was pretty real to me. So don't you dare insult my feelings like that! Don't you dare tell me what's real and what's not when you don't know it yourself!"
The pouring rain had drenched them both and the coldness of the night made her shiver like a leaf but Heiran's fury burned too hot for the frostiness of the atmosphere to quell her fire. Jungkook found himself unable to say anything, his throat choked up with all the emotions he was trying to contain. He tried to say her name, "Heiran..."
"And guess what?!" she cried out, the wetness on her cheek camouflaged by the onslaught of the intense downpour. "I'm not going to pretend away the feelings that I feel like you just because you drew the line! I'm not going to lie to myself and put up an act feigning that nothing ever happened just because you want me to do that! I'm not going to move on! You know why? Because I..." She felt her throat choke up. However, Heiran closed her eyes and pushed through. "Because I love you."
Jungkook stilled at the phrase. The pandemonium of rain filled the momentary silence. He stood there watching her, frozen in fear that this was all a mirage that might shatter at his merest movement. He didn't dare breathe, he didn't dare blink even as the water dripped down his eyelids. He only hoped to live in this moment, even if it turned out to be a mirage, a dream created by his depraved mind, he wanted to exist in this spell for as long as he could.
"Yes, it's my fault that I didn't say it. It's my fault that I made you doubt me. But God knows that I tried! I must have tried a hundred million times but every time I get so close, I back out because I'm so afraid! I'm so afraid that it'll all go away once I admit it to you. You made it so incredibly hard for me because I care about you too much. I care too damn much about your stupid opinion! I don't know how it's so easy for you to say it while I struggle with it every damn time I'm near you!"
Lightning flashed and thunder followed shortly, roaring across the sky like earth-shattering demons. The rain poured down like there was no end to it. The winds were high. It was a perfect rendition of the chaos she felt inside.
"And then you tell me that we are moving on too fast and that makes me question myself. And I just get so insecure and I am always on the edge. All because of you, Jeon Jungkook, you make me so freaking nervous that I don't even know anymore what you want—"
And she was abruptly cut short when he captured her lips in a feverish kiss.
Jungkook didn't give her a chance to recede; he seized her waist into his arms and pulled her flush against his chest. Heiran's eyes blinked wide in surprise at the precipitance of it all before they fluttered close as the sensation of his lips took over. He was kissing her like she was the life force he'd been robbed of, devouring her mouth like a starved man, breathing her in like it was his last breath. Heiran felt her mind grow calm and blank. She could think of nothing but him as her mouth moved fervently against his. Because at this very moment, he was there and he was with her and that was all she cared for. She didn't realize until then how desperately she had missed him. Rain poured down heavily, crashing down on the asphalt, water dripping down their faces, soaking into their clothes. The streetlights shone down on them like a spotlight as they were the moment of the play. And maybe the streets weren't as empty as they thought.
At a little distance, hidden in the shadows, a camera shutter went off, capturing the moment in a picture for an eternity.
They must have kissed each other for an hour, or maybe a decade. She positively couldn't tell the difference. All she did know was that when the haziness of her mind cleared and she realized she had something called self-respect and pride, it was too late. This man who was shamelessly kissing her like there was no end hadn't even apologized for half the things he did, and the moment he forgot the line he'd drawn between them, she'd hopelessly given in to him like she had no dignity. Heiran's eyes shot open in a panic. Before she knew it, she raised her palm and slapped him across his face, breaking him out of the kiss. Jungkook stumbled back at the sheer force of it, blinking in a daze and Heiran stuttered out.
"H-H-HOW DARE YOU!!!"
A/N:
;)
P.S: I had about 6 mental breakdowns trying to write that kiss scene without dying from cringe. I was going through a whole crisis writing it but that kiss was so essential to this plot I couldn't leave it out. Shoutout to @min4unk1 for pulling me through this crisis and acting as my personal therapist. You're a gem. <3