ISAIAH
"Yesterday was fun." Mom comments as we ride in the backseat of her car.
She is on her way to work and is giving me a ride to Frosty Dream for my shift.
"Yes it was." I agree with a smile.
For the first time in a long time we spent the whole day as a family. For us days like yesterday are rare but we went to church together, had lunch at the country club, golfing in the afternoon, a home made dinner by mom and to end the day a movie and board games. Cairo didn't make it through half the movie but mom, Parker and I finished it, then played games till well past midnight. I think we were all trying to milk as much of the quality family time as possible since it happens so scarcely.
"We should do it more often." She suggests.
"We both know it's not possible ma." I reply.
"Why not?"
"We don't have that luxury, you have your Senatorial duties, Parker has his company and I have work, school and basketball." I explain even though she already knows this.
She sighs sadly when I remind her the reality of our life. "You're right but we can promise to take advantage of days like yesterday if presented with the opportunity."
"That we can do." I nod in agreement.
She smiles at me and pats my arm lovingly.
"It feels weird not going to school on a Monday." I comment.
"Well it is Labor Day which you should be enjoying by having fun like a normal teenager but here you are going to work." She replies with a disapproving look.
"Ma I had a whole free day yesterday, I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I was home all day." I express.
I am used to keeping busy so being anything but is not in my nature.
"You need to take advantage of your youth while its still in your grasp kiddo. I know you lost your childhood but there's still time for you to enjoy being a kid before adulthood kicks in. You'll never get these years back." She advises.
"I know ma, I'm trying." I assure her.
"I know you are baby. Remember I'm always here for you."
"Thank you mom and I'm here for you as well." I reply making her smile.
I kiss her cheek and lay my head on her shoulder. "You've always been my strength so if you're happy then I'm happy too."
My mom is my strength as well, if it weren't for her I would have given up a long time ago.
"We're here ma'am." Gage announces as he parks outside Frosty Dream.
"Have a good day at work ma. Go show them who's boss." I grin at her as I grab my bag.
"You too kiddo. I'll see you later. I love you."
"I love you too."
"If you can make sure you go out and enjoy the parade, be a kid." She demands softly.
"Yes ma'am, I'll try."
After a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek I exit the car and stand on the curb until they drive off and disappear out of sight.
I see Kennedy through the glass before I even enter the parlor. She's wiping down the tables dancing to what I can assume is music playing inside since I can't hear it from out here. She looks beautiful in a work t-shirt, jeans and white converse sneakers. Her hair is in its usual bun, held in place by two pencils her hair net sticking out of her back pocket.
I spent all day yesterday trying not to think about her but that proved quite difficult especially after Wesley sent me photos and videos from the birthday party. Watching the lap dance had me feeling all sorts of disoriented. There was chemistry between us or maybe I started seeing my own things after watching the video too many times. Mom and Parker noticed that I was distracted a couple of times but I always managed to play it off and assure them that I was okay.
All I know is that today is the day Kennedy and I talk. I can't keep feeling like this.
Taking a deep breath I open the door and let myself in. "Nice moves."
She jumps startled and turns to face me with her hand held over her chest.
"Isaiah! You scared me." She breathes relaxing when she sees that it's just me.
"Sorry, I thought you heard me come in." I apologize.
"It's okay I was lost in my own thoughts." She assures me.
I walk closer to her my steps unsure, my mind racing a thousand miles a minute.
"So..." We both start at the same time.
"You first..."
"No you first."
"I insist please." I repeat hoping she takes the bait because I have no idea what to say.
"This is awkward... I feel like it's awkward. Is it awkward? It's too awkward right? Please stop me, I'm saying awkward too much." She pleads and I can't help but laugh.
I've noticed that Kennedy tends to ramble when she's nervous.
"Yes it is a bit awkward so how do we move past it?" I ask her.
"First of all let me start by apologizing for Saturday. I didn't mean to drag you into my shit and put you in the middle of my beef with Jade. Using you like that was uncalled for and I am sorry." She expresses.
She looks really torn apart like it has been weighing on since Saturday.
"Berry it's okay, there's no way I could have said no. Jade was in the wrong and I'm glad I helped you put her in her place. And plus I had fun. You're a really good dancer." I reply.
"Really, because I don't want things to be awkward between us because of that night."
"They don't have to be if we don't let things be awkward. I promise you that I'm good." I reassure her.
"Good and thanks again for agreeing to be my dance partner."
"You are welcome, anytime."
"Probably won't be happening again, once was enough." She chides with a nervous laugh.
"Never say never Berry. So are we good?" I ask.
"Yes we're good."
"Perfect, I'll go get changed."
She steps aside to let me pass and even though there's much more I want to say I hold off for now. We'll be together all day so I have time. I'm just glad we've cleared the air about Saturday to allow for a comfortable working environment.
I say hello to Oscar who's already busy in the kitchen as I head into the locker room. I grab my apron and hair net as well before passing by the freezer to get a couple of tubs out.
When I walk back out front, Cove has already arrived and is setting up behind the counter.
"I just got a text from Archer saying he won't be coming in today, did you receive one as well?" Kennedy asks me.
"Let me check."
There is a message saying that they decided to extend their stay so he won't be coming in. Another one comes in just as I am reading the first one.
"He also says we can work or go home, it's our choice." I read out loud.
"I don't know about you guys but I need the money so I'm gonna work." Cove declares.
"I'm already here so I might as well work too. Iz?" Kennedy asks.
"You know I'm a workaholic, I'm not going anywhere." I answer with a smile.
"Perfect, you can start moping." Kennedy grins tossing the mop at me.
"You're bossing me around already. Need I remind you that I'm a senior employee." I retort playfully.
"We're the same age."
"I've been working here longer."
"So?"
"Kids cut it off, it's going to be a busy day since everyone will be in town for the parades so let's get to it." Cove demands breaking up our cute little fight.
Kennedy sticks her tongue out at me and I flick her forehead jumping out of the way before she can hit me.
"You'll pay for that but I have work for now so we'll table this for later." She declares.
"I'll be here when you're ready." I reply with a smug smile.
Oscar joins us with a plate stacked full of waffles. "Not that anyone bothered to ask but I'm staying too."
"Oscar you life saver! Thank you and I'm glad you're staying." Kennedy grins at him taking one for herself.
"Delicious as always Scar, thank you." Cove compliments taking a bite.
"You're welcome. Iz?" Oscar asks offering me one.
"I had a heavy breakfast, I'll have one later." I decline politely.
"Okay, now that you're all fed, let's get to work. Archer needs to know that this place can still run without him." He declares.
"Yes sir." We all chorus mockingly as if he's our drill sergeant before we burst out laughing.
After we manage to compose ourselves we get to work, maintaining a harmonious working environment like a perfectly oiled machine. Oscar is busy in the kitchen as always, Cove works the counter while Kennedy and I man the tables. Archer calls to check in and we assure him that work is running smoothly and he should enjoy time with his family.
Time and again I find myself staring at Kennedy for longer than is deemed polite. The more I look the more I notice little details about her that I missed before. Like how her smile to kids is different from that towards adults, how she prefers pencil to pen when taking orders which must be an artist thing and the wrinkle in her nose when she's concentrated on making an order.
Mr. Johnson was right, I am whipped.
"So what's with you and ginger over there?" Cove asks when it's just the two of us behind the counter.
We're making a multiple order for a group that has just come in while Kennedy is serving them.
"What do you mean?" I reply.
"I mean you haven't taken your eyes off her since the beginning of our shift. Are you two dating?" She inquires and I nearly drop the scoop.
"What?! No!" I choke out defensively. "No we are not dating." I reply much more calmly when she raises her brows at me.
"So it's an unrequited crush."
Why does everyone keep saying that? First Mr. Johnson and now her. Is it that obvious that I like her and she doesn't like me? Or does she? I am yet to ask and she's very hard to read.
"I wouldn't exactly call it that. We're friends who work together and go to the same school." I explain.
"So you get to pine over her all day everyday. Wow, you have it bad." Cove teases bumping my shoulder.
I sigh in defeat because she is right. "You're not the first person to tell me that."
"Good because it's obvious. So have you thought about telling her how you feel?" She suggests.
If I didn't know any better I'd be inclined to think that Cove talked to Mr. Johnson behind my back. Why am I having the same conversation only with a different person? Is the universe trying to tell me something?
"Yes, kinda but what if she doesn't feel the same." I express worriedly.
"Then at least you'll know so you can move on. The worst that could happen is she says no and you stay friends. Or she feels the same so you ask her and start dating but you'll never know until you ask." She replies.
She makes it sound so easy. I'm a ball of nerves. I've never had to ask a girl out before. "I don't know how but you're right."
"I know I am. You know what, I like you both so I'll help you out." She declares.
"How?"
"Like this. Hey ginger!" She calls out to Kennedy.
I start to panic because I have no idea what she has in mind but all she does is wink at me as if that will alleviate my fear.
Kennedy turns to us with a frown before approaching us. "You know that's a hookers name."
"Not an original sorry, I'll work on another." Cove apologizes.
Kennedy has a thing for nicknames in reference to her hair which I completely understand. If she doesn't approve of the nickname you give her then you need to keep trying until you get it right. Lucky for me I got it on the first try. She is Berry to me.
"Please do. Anyway you called?" She asks picking up the orders we've already made.
She gives them to the two kids who'd followed her, probably too impatient to wait. They scurry off to their parents and Kennedy turns her attention to us.
"Earlier you mentioned about wanting to see the parade and some of the floats." Cove says.
"Yeah but we're working." Kennedy replies.
"Yes but we're not that busy. I can handle everything if you two want to go." Cove offers.
Where is she going with this?
"I don't know Cove. I don't want to slack at work." Kennedy falters.
"You won't be. Right Khalil?" Cove insists giving me a pointed look.
So this is her way of helping. It's not the best idea but she's already given me an opening, all I have to do is take it.
"Yes. I mean, no. You won't be in trouble. We'll only be gone for an hour and we won't go far." I assure her.
"Cove is still new." Kennedy points out.
"I'll be okay and besides Oscar is here too." Cove defends when I look to her for help.
"Yeah they'll be okay. Let's go, it'll be fun. I promise." I add popping in a reassuring smile hoping it'll do the trick.
It works because Kennedy returns it and nods. "Okay, let's go but only for an hour and then we come right back."
"Yes ma'am. One hour." I grin looking at Cove with a grateful smile.
She winks at me and moves on to serve the next customer. Since Kennedy and I are coming straight back to work all we do it take off our aprons and hairnets leaving our work t-shirts on.
"Why don't you guys grab some cones for the road? It's hot out there." Cove suggests.
"Good idea." I agree.
I make Kennedy her favourite cookies and cream flavor topped with lots of fudge and sprinkles while I get my plain salted caramel.
"We'll be back in an hour." Kennedy says to Cove as we leave.
"Have fun you two, I'll hold down the fort." She replies giving her a thumbs up.
She grabs hold of my t-shirt before I can walk away and pulls me down to whisper in my ear. "Don't mess it up."
"I'll try." I reply nervously.
She lets me go and I quickly rush to catch up with Kennedy.
"Where exactly are we going?" She asks as I hold the door open for her.
"We follow the crowds and the music." I reply.
"Okay, good idea." She nods as we turn headed for the direction where all the music and fanfare is coming from.
"Oh my shoe laces are undone. Hold this for me please." Kennedy requests just as we are about to cross the road.
I look down to see that one of her shoe laces is completely undone and the other one is loose.
"I'll tie them for you. Hold my ice cream." I reply holding out her my ice cream cone and now we're standing in the middle of the road exchanging ice creams.
"I have hands you know." She counters.
"I know." I grin pushing my cone into her hand.
She rolls her eyes at me but I don't miss the smile as I go down on one knee and quickly lace up her shoes.
"All done, that wasn't so hard now was it." I grin as I stretch.
"No it wasn't, thank you." She replies giving me back my ice cream cone and our journey resumes.
"You're welcome."
"I have a question for you. Feel free to tell me to shove it if I'm overstepping." She asks.
"Of course, ask away."
"When we were playing Never Have I Ever, you said you've never been in a relationship. How come?" She inquires.
Of all questions I was not expecting that. I even considered the possibility that she was going to ask me about my semicolon tattoo since I showed it to her on Saturday. Everyone asks about it when they see it but only few know the true story behind it. If Kennedy had asked I'd have told her as well but maybe another day.
"I mean you're good looking, you have nice hair, great at basketball, hard-working and obviously a gentleman. I mean who even walks roadside nowadays or remembers to open doors let alone offers to tie shoe laces. It's the bare minimum but it's the small things that count and you tick off all the boxes so why have you never dated?" Kennedy explains.
"I could ask you the same thing. You drank that day as well." I reply.
"I asked first." She retorts.
"You've got me there. I've never dated because I've never allowed myself to shift my focus outside of school, work and family. I've had crushes but I've always be so focused on every other aspect of my life that dating was never in the picture." I explain.
"Wow, that's deep and serious. I guess I can understand that after knowing you for two weeks. You are a workaholic. You're a highschool senior who plays basketball, holds down two jobs and finds time to volunteer. I don't see room for a girlfriend in there." She agrees.
Her words hit me hard because I thought our conversation would lead to me asking her out but maybe she's onto something deeper. Do I have room to date her if I ask her out? Having a girlfriend requires energy, work and commitment. I'm already stretched thin as it is. Maybe asking her out isn't the best idea if I can't give her the relationship that she deserves.
"Your turn. Why are you still single?" I ask her switching my mind back to the conversation at hand.
"Mine is simple, I've never really had a boy interest me enough to date them. Plus to date me, you need to know the real me and I'm not sure even I know who the real me is." She explains looking sad.
It looks like the both of us have things we are holding on to holding us back from dating. But still I've got to know. At least for Cove and Mr. Johnson.
"What about me?" I ask carefully.
"What about you what?" She replies turning her baby blues to me.
"Am I interesting enough to date?" I express.
Kennedy stops walking so I have to stop as well. "Are you asking me out?"
I have two options here, tell her how I truly feel or play it off as a joke. I decide to go with the former. I need to know so our relationship can proceeded forward in the right way.
"On Saturday night when you gave me that lap dance there was a moment there right. I didn't imagine it." I ask her starting us off easy.
She looks unsure for a moment before she nods. "There was."
"Good at least I'm not crazy. So do you like me?" I ask getting excited and a little bit ahead of myself.
"Do you like me?" She counters.
It's now or never.
"Yes, is it not obvious? I've been pining over you from that first day when I saved your forehead from your locker." I confess.
I've just bared my heart out and now the ball is in her court. Her eyes widen as if she did not expect me to be so open but if our relationship is to move forward then we need to talk about this now and address it.
"Oh."
Oh? Is that all she has to say?
"So do you like me back?" I ask unable to bear the uncertainty any longer.
"Yes... " She replies and I am ready to celebrate but there's uncertainty in her voice.
"But... " I urge her on.
"I'm not ready to be anything more than your friend. My life is so messed up right now. There are things about me that you don't know and that I'm not ready for you or anyone else to know." She confesses.
I should be celebrating that the girl I like likes me back but I can't when the variables are too unknown.
"Me too." I reply.
There's so much I am not ready to share with her about my past or even my present. I like her but dating her means letting her in and it's already hard enough with the people who are already in my life.
"See, a relationship is all about trust, honesty and being vulnerable with each other and neither of us can give that to the other just yet." Kennedy adds and she couldn't be more right.
"So what does that mean?" I ask her.
"That we try to be just friends for now." She suggests.
I groan in frustration. "That never works. People who like each other can never be 'just friends'."
"I know but I can't not be your friend. We also can't avoid each other because of school and work.I like hanging out with you and spending time together." Kennedy says with a sad smile.
"Me too." I reply.
"We're not in a place in our lives where we can be more than friends." She reasons.
"It sucks to admit it but you're right."
"I know. So even if it'll be hard we agree to try and keep our relationship platonic?" She suggests.
I close my eyes and turn my face up at the sky as if seeking divine intervention. It sucks that we like each other but we can't date. She's right though, dating at the moment would be forcing issues which will lead to the both of us getting hurt.
"Yes." I relent looking back down at her.
"Okay. Friends." She smiles holding her hand out.
I chuckle and shake her hand but instead pull her in for a hug. She hesitates at first but she lets go and hugs me back, her arms wrapped around my torso linked on my back. We stay like that for a while, both of us needing this. I'm sad I can't date her but I'm also grateful that we're honest with each other which will save us a lot of hurt.
"What do you say we go enjoy that parade?" I ask when we pull apart.
"Lead the way." She answers with a smile.
It's going to be hard being just her friend especially when we spend so much time together but it's all we can afford at the moment. Maybe one day in the future we can try again but for now friendship is what works for us so we'll have to make do.