Aziraphale and Crowley were in the bookshop plotting how to 'deal' with the newborn Antichrist that Crowley had just delivered. Aziraphale had found a nice bottle of port in the chest he kept for nights like these. So, naturally, the pair were a little tipsy.
"What if we're not doing enough to influence the child? What if we are too good or too evil" Aziraphale sighed.
"I prefer the term mischievous, not evil. Makes me sound as though I'm doing this shit on purpose" Crowley slurred his words slightly as he spoke.
"Oh alright, dear, what if we are too good or too mischievous" Aziraphale raised an eyebrow.
"Actually that sounds childish, forget I said anything" Crowley muttered.
"Oh for Heaven's sake Crowley, make your mind up" Aziraphale shook his head, smiling at the demon's antics.
"Hmmm... I think we need something like a safety net. Like a source we can fall back on if he seems to be getting too swayed in one direction" Crowley wondered aloud.
"Like, another angel or demon? Wouldn't that be too risky?" Aziraphale asked.
"No, not another angel or demon. We need something else. A neutral force." Crowley responded.
"You called?" A figure appeared in front of the two supernatural entities. Aziraphale gasped and gripped Crowley's hand, while the demon nearly spilled his glass of port in surprise. The being became fully corporated, showing a young looking person with four small-ish wings sprouting from their shoulder blades and black and gold splotches on their face. Their wings were white and black, one of each colour on each side, and they had their long brown hair tied up into two pigtails that flowed down their back. They wore an oversized cable-knit sweater and black leggings with Doc Martin combat boots.
"Ether, a dramatic entrance, as always" Crowley acknowledged the being.
"Crowley, a pleasure, as always" Ether retorted.
"Crowley, who is this?" Aziraphale tapped the demonic spirit on the shoulder, having let go of his hand.
"Angel, this is Ether. They are neither an angel nor demon, and represent humanity. They are not good or evil, they are, as I put it, a neutral force" Crowley explained.
"Yep, I was created to represent and serve humanity around 6000 years ago. Pretty sure we have met before, though, Aziraphale. You were the Guardian of the Eastern Gate of the Garden, right? The one with the flaming sword? I've always wanted a sword, but no one will give me one" Ether asked the angel while pouting about the sword.
"Yes, I was the Guardian of the Eastern Gate, although I wasn't very good at it. I was supposed to be on Apple Tree Duty when Eve ate that apple. And then I gave them my sword" Aziraphale sighed, looking away.
"Nah, that was pretty cool of you, protecting humanity like that. I wasn't doing much then other than making weird faces at the koi fish by the waterfall and throwing bones to the lions" Ether continued, "So, why'd you call me here?"
"Well, I technically didn't call you here, you more just appeared, but that's besides the point. I've just had the joyous task of delivering the Antichrist. However, I've come to enjoy my time on earth and I don't really want it to end yet. So, I've roped in Aziraphale to help me influence the child as he's growing up so hopefully he won't end the world. But, we need assistance if we want to get him to be like a 'normal' human, or at least as normal as he can be. And, since you're the embodiment of humanity, I thought you'd be interested" Crowley explained.
"Well of course I'm interested. Why wouldn't I be? Saving humanity is literally what I was created for. This is my job. So, what do I have to do?" Ether accepted the offer with much enthusiasm, as if they had been born for this moment. Well, technically, they had been.
///
Ether was to be the maid of the Dowling household. They started the job when Warlock was 3 years old, since he wouldn't be old enough to be influenced until then. Ether was alright at the job, but, since they represented humanity, of course they were very clumsy. They had managed to break a vase on their first day, although that was nothing a little miracle couldn't fix.
Ether quickly befriended young Warlock, sneaking him bits of cake out the kitchen and playing tag with him in the garden. They comforted him when his parents were away and he was worried, even though that should have been Nanny Ashtoreth's job. They were his first friend. Which is just what they had planned.
Ether had grown quite fond of Warlock. Crowley told them that they shouldn't have, but they have never listened to Crowley. Besides, it wasn't like he didn't have a soft spot for the boy, too. Aziraphale was stuck in the garden, so Ether made sure they spent as much time in the garden with Warlock as possible. It wasn't a huge amount, since they also had their own job to do, but it was enough that Warlock was turning into a relatively normal boy.
It was Ether's day off, so they were lounging in the garden, accompanying Aziraphale while he worked. Warlock came running over with Crowley hot on his tail. Even in heels, that demon could move surprisingly fast. Warlock was 9 years old at this point, only 2 more years until he could possibly end the world.
"Esther! I've been looking for you!" The boy cried out when he spotted the entity, using their 'human' name.
"Sorry buddy, I've been out here all day, it's my day off" They explained, catching him as he threw himself at them.
"That's ok, I've found you now" Warlock hugged them tightly. Ether didn't normally like physical contact, but after watching Warlock grow up into an enthusiastic and lovable child, they were ok with hugs from him. Of course, he was the only exception.
"What's Brother Francis up to?" Warlock asked the maid, who looked at the angel who was trying to prune a bush. Crowley looked up from his nails that he had been trying to fix, only to be practically blown away by whatever the gardener was doing. And not in a good way. He immediately stood and marched over, before snatching the pruners away from Aziraphale and 'showing' him how to do it. In reality, he was just shouting at the poor angel and doing it for him.
"Well, it would appear that Brother Francis is getting a very stern talking-to from Nanny, because she is a control freak" Ether said to the boy. Somehow Crowley heard this over his shouting and pointedly glared at them before returning to his violent pruning.
"What's a control freak? I don't think Nanny's a freak, she's little weird but she's nice to me" Warlock looked at Ether expectantly, naïve eyes staring up at them.
"Well, yeah she's weird, but of course that doesn't make her a freak. And being a freak isn't a bad thing. I'm a freak. But a control freak means she can't stand seeing someone else in control. Especially if they're doing it wrong" Ether explained, petting his hair absentmindedly.
"Ohhhhh, so am I a freak? If it's a good thing?" Warlock nestled into their touch.
"Everyone is a freak, at heart. They just might not want to show it" Ether smiled at him.
"That's so cool"
"I agree, buddy"
///
It was now Warlock's eleventh birthday. He had grown a little more distant from Ether since 2 years ago. And he was turning into a spoiled brat. Ether had quit their job as the maid but Mrs Dowling had invited them to Warlock's birthday party since they were such a good friend to Warlock in his younger years.
So Ether was a guest, Crowley was a waiter and Aziraphale was a... magician. So it was going great. Of course, Warlock ignored Ether the whole time, choosing to spend time with his new friends who were all children of important politicians and other wealthy people. But that was ok, because in a matter of minutes, all of Ether's hard work would be tested. Although, they supposed, it would have been nice if he had talked to them. He used to be such a sweet child.
Ether was sure their plan has been watertight; befriend the boy, teach him to be as human as possible and ensure that he didn't destroy the world. Of course, this would only work if Warlock made it work. This was down to him.
3:00pm hit and the hellhound was nowhere to be seen. That was a huge problem. Ether was a little preoccupied to notice the hour hit, because they were trying to avoid being hit by bits of cake, but Crowley had noticed. He has pulled Ether out of the gazebo, before ducking briefly back in to fish Aziraphale out of the mess. They all troupes back to the Bentley before Crowley actually explained what was going on. Aziraphale had let a revived dove out of his coat sleeve before climbing into the passenger seat of the car.
"It's late" Aziraphale noted.
"Oh yeah, the dog. Why is it late? I thought it was supposed to get here by 3?" Ether wondered aloud.
"It was. I don't know what happened, must be a hold up back in Hell" Crowley theorised.
Suddenly, the radio turned on and a raspy, broken voice called through the speaker. It appeared that Crowley had called someone from Hell.
"Yes, Crowley?" The voice sounded bored.
"Hi, yes, I was just wondering where the hellhound was?" Crowley asked the radio.
"We sent it out 5 minutes ago, it should be there by now. Why? Has something gone wrong, Crowley?" The voice somehow sound more sinister than before.
"Oh, no I see it now. Great big, hell-y, hellhound. Yes, great, thanks, goodbye." Crowley quickly shut off the radio.
"No hellhound." Aziraphale said in a rather monotonous voice of worry.
"No hellhound." Crowley repeated.
"Wrong boy"
"Wrong boy."
///
Thanks for reading!
Would you like a part 2?
~1700 words~