(non-req) - you don't realise you've fallen for your brothers best friend
word count: 4k
It wasn't that you had never noticed him before.
It was difficult when he was around your house almost every day for the last few years. He would sit so comfortably as though you shared the same parents - as if the decor was made to suit his needs as well as your own.
You were always so used to it only being the 4 of you. You, your mother, father and your one year younger brother.
The first time you saw Seok Matthew, you cursed under your breath at the sight of the dark haired boy. His eyes foxy and his demeanour disheveled.
He wore grey sweatpants and a plain white tee, and you wondered if there was any thought behind those hazy eyes.
"Who's this?"
You looked between the two boys who sat on your brothers bed, a controller in both of their hands as the bright light from the television reflected them.
"Matthew," your brother Taerae rolled his eyes. "What is it to you?"
"I'm just surprised you have friends, loser," you mocked his facial expression, not failing to notice the boy beside him fighting back a chuckle at your words. "It's nice to meet you."
"You too, m'am," Matthew nodded, a grin finally spreading across his face.
You stared blankly for a moment, wondering why the corners of your lips wanted to tug upwards too. His smile was just infectious.
And that's when you knew your brothers new friend was indeed trouble - just not the kind you expected.
You saw him everywhere. Ever since this unlikely friendship between him and your brother blossomed, it was like Matthew was never out of your eye line.
In school, you were used to nudging past Taerae whilst sticking your tongue out at him or pulling some other silly face, but now you simply nodded as he always had company.
You were grateful. Taerae always had friends but you pondered how genuine they were. Matthew seemed to stick around.
Sighing, you found refuge from the hectic day in the library, your eyes searching the shelves.
Exams were soon - you had to stock up. "Well, this is awkward."
You turned to see the dark haired boy, that familiar smile on his face that made your features soften. "What's awkward?"
You hadn't realised that your hand reached for the same book, lingering there as your fingers almost touched. "How badly do you need this copy?"
"I'm not here to negotiate, Seok," you huffed, placing your fingers further towards the book. "I have exams."
"So do I," he shrugged, a cheeky grin on his face.
"Mine are more serious, I'm older," you argued any way that you could. You were not letting this go.
"By that logic, since I'm the year below - these exams matter more since they'll get me to the level you're at now. I can't fail this year."
You narrowed your eyes at your brothers best friend, wishing the shit eating grin would magically wash off his face. You found it difficult not to smile when he did, everything about it was truly infectious.
"You'll barely fail, idiot," you grumbled, lowering your hand. "Fine, have at it. I'll find something else."
With yet another sigh, you turned to wander the aisles again, hearing shuffling behind you as Matthew took the book off the shelf.
If there was one thing Taerae had told him, it was that you were stubborn. He couldn't help but smile to himself as he saw you walk away defeated. "We can share."
"And how would that work?" You turned on your heels, now eye level with the younger boy.
"I practically live in your house," he says as though it was blindly obvious - because it was.
"You can say that again," eyeing the book, you wondered if maybe his idea could work.
"Besides, I'll only need sections of this book. I'm sure you know a lot of it since last year, right?" He lowered his head a little, as though to get you to look at his convincing, kind eyes.
He was right. You would be using it for different things. The information would vary. "Okay, then it's a deal."
"Good," he smiled. "And that means you can tutor me also."
Your eyes widened, his face washing over in a cheeky giggle as he raised his eyebrows. "You little shit. That is not happening."
You watched as he backed away, shaking the book in his hands. "Can't wait to learn all about historical literature!"
"You better pay me!" You called after him, earning a 'shh' from the librarian.
Studying alongside Matthew was relatively painless. He respected your need for a quiet environment, and he listened whenever you answered one of his whispered questions.
He was so different from your brother that you often wondered just how they became friends.
Matthew had a kind aura, even when he was a little cheeky - it was no match for your brothers poor attitude.
A knock on your bedroom door disturbed your train of thought. "What?"
"It's me," Taerae said from the other side of the door, announcing himself as he opened it. "When can I have my best friend back?"
"Oh, when can Matthew come out to play?" You mocked his pathetic tone of voice.
Matthew stifled a laugh from your desk, you knew since his body threatened to move as soon as you spoke those words. "Not fair. He's been in here all night."
"Are you hearing yourself?" You couldn't help but laugh at your brother. "The PS5 or Matthew isn't going anywhere. Go study yourself, you bum."
"I'm ordering pizza and you're not getting any," Taerae huffed before closing the door harshly.
Watching the boy who sat across from the room turn around, his cheeks about to burst. "He's such a baby."
"I never see him like this," Matthew chuckles. "It's entertaining."
"I would say try living with him but you practically do," you joke, the boy nodding with a laugh as he turns to look at his notes again.
He sucks in a deep breath, debating whether it's worth interrupting your evidently concentrated streak. Glancing over, he sees you furrowing your eyebrows at what Taerae must have interrupted you from figuring out.
"Yes, Matthew?"
"Huh?" He hummed, realising now you were looking back at him. "Oh, I just wasn't sure about this chapter..."
With a few mumblings, he found the page in the book and turned it around to show you. "You know I can't see that from all the way over here."
"Sorry," he chuckled, cautiously making his way over to your bed as he sat at the edge. "This one."
You let out a hum in response, reading over the first few sentences as your memory jogged itself.
Maybe it would have been easier to read if you didn't feel his eyes lingering on you the whole time. It made you nervous when anyone watched you for a moment too long.
"Are you practicing telepathy?"
The boy felt heat rush to his cheeks, pursing his lips to fight a smile when you finally looked up at him. "Sorry," he mumbled.
"I can give you a copy of my old notes for this. Let me just find them."
Matthew sat awkwardly on the edge of your bed as you headed towards the bottom of your wardrobe. He noted how many books you had laying there, wondering if you resorted to that space since you had filled up all your shelves and other drawers.
It was endearing in a way, but he let that thought slide. "Any luck?"
"Patience, young Seok," you said over your shoulder, your eyes listing over the colour coordinated notepads. "A-ha!"
He smiled as you did too, turning to throw the notepad towards him as you sat back on your pillows.
Your eyes drifted back to the page you were studying, but now lingered on the boy who sat awkwardly at your rear bedpost, his eyebrows furrowing as he read over the words. "Can't read my handwriting?"
"No, no," Matthew shook his head. "Your handwriting is beautiful, actually."
You were glad he kept his eyes on the page so that he didn't see the stupid smile on your face. You didn't receive compliments much, evidently.
Who blushes over a comment so silly? You mentally kicked yourself.
"I'm sure the lighting over at my desk is much better," was your pathetic attempt to usher him away from you.
"Much comfier here," he shrugs, looking up through his eyelashes at you as you shake your head at his cheeky smile. "Much easier to ask for help from here, too."
"Mhm," you hummed, focussing back to your book.
Choosing to ignore how he shimmied onto your bed, his back now against the cold wall as he studied - you simply smiled to yourself as silence took over the two of you.
Comfortable, and just how you liked it.
The year passed pretty much the same as you expected it to. Studying, working and bickering with your brother. That was life as you knew it, and it would have been a shame to have had things any different.
One thing that didn't change was how often Matthew was in your peripherals.
Him and Taerae somehow only grew closer, but after a few conversations with your brothers best friend in your study sessions, you came to realise why.
"I just don't want to be split up from him," Matthew sighed. "We finish school next year - and maybe we'll go to different universities. How can I be sure we'll always stay friends?"
"Because you're best friends, not just friends," you reasoned, offering him a sympathetic smile. "He can hardly last ten minutes without you when you're in here."
Matthew chuckled, closing over his notepad as he sat in his favourite position which was now beside you on your bed as you sat beside him crosslegged. "Aren't you worried about this too?"
It was something you thought about all the time. Being away from Hanbin and Rina terrified you.
"Yeah," you look down at your fidgeting fingers. "We're going to completely different universities."
Your words didn't reassure Matthew, his usually relaxed face and hopeful eyes were now dimmed with worry.
"But, we've made a plan to travel and see one another whenever we can," you smiled to yourself. "And we'll stick to it, because that's what best friends do."
"I just don't want him to replace me."
"Replace you?" You wished you could shake him back to reality. "That would be impossible, Seok."
His eyes now glimmered as he glanced up at you, that contagious smile spreading over his face that only made you want to shake yourself too for finding it so adorable.
"Besides, have you met Taerae?" You scoffed. "I struggle to believe he'd make friends again."
He let out a loud laugh, bringing you a sense of relief that the once dampened air had now evaporated. He seemed more at ease now.
Whilst your eyes drifted back to the scattered notes on your bed, Matthew held his breath for a minute.
"I'll miss this too," he coughed once you caught his eye again. "I'll miss you."
You didn't realise you were holding your breath either, but you should have known that all the smiles and occasional glances that lasted too long would have boiled to something.
You always tried to push that feeling aside, knowing that no matter how much you tried to hide your growing grin whenever he smiled your way - it was simply no use.
You knew from the get-go that Seok Matthew was trouble.
Matthew felt it too, but he was more sure of his feelings.
He recalled the first day he came over, realising that the pretty girl in the year above that he always stared at in the hallway was the sister of his newly found friend.
You always paid him no mind, your hair flowing as your eyes glimmered when you looked towards your best friends.
Matthew felt stupid for believing that you were with Sung Hanbin romantically when Taerae told him you two were best friends. He only never assumed something was going on between Hanbin and Rina because he didn't care if that was the case, he only cared about you.
Now he spent every day seeing you, and you noticed him now. There was nothing more that he could ask for - being your little brothers best friend after all.
But one thing about Seok Matthew is that he is an overachiever. Were you really that out of reach?
The way you didn't flinch as he edged closer to you told him otherwise, his fingers finding yours as they messily intertwined.
Was your heart beating as fast as his was?
He was sure the silence in your bedroom would allow you to hear just that, but little did he know that you couldn't hear anything over the sound of your own beating harshly against your chest. "Matthew..."
He blinked slowly and smiled at your whisper, his free hand reaching to cup your cheek.
It had been years since you had been kissed, so you braced yourself for what was to come next.
Except it never came. All that came was a harsh knock at your door, the sound of the door handle being pressed on echoing against your bedroom walls.
You scurried from Matthew as did he, a forced smile washing over his face as your brother stood in the doorway. "Are you two finished yet? I wanna play Deathloop."
You barely had the chance to glance over at Matthew as he was now already off your bed, gathering his books.
"Thanks again," he said over his shoulder as your brother walked towards his room.
Matthew glanced at you as he got to the door, smiling sadly at your confused expression before closing it over.
Matthew underestimated how much he would miss you after you left for university.
When he came over, he found himself staring at your closed bedroom door as though you would appear any minute, shouting at your brother to turn down his music or for the pair of them to stop being so loud.
You loved the quiet so much, it was like you were still in that silent room.
The thought of you kept him awake at night. It had been over a year since he almost finally kissed you.
After that night, things went relatively sour. You didn't talk to him as much and insisted if he had to study then he had a library and many tutors available. You used the excuse that you had to focus on the remainder of your exams, they were the most important after all.
He never argued back, nor did he question it. He believed now that if he did then things may have been different.
Maybe you wouldn't go quiet on the other line when Taerae called to check in on you because he mentioned that Matthew was by his side.
The year was a struggle, but Matthew still passed all his exams without your help and was now finished with school.
Your parents just so happened to be the coolest on the planet, letting Taerae throw an end of school party. "They let you throw this because you have no friends who would show up anyway."
"Not true, I have Matthew!" Your brother bickered as you threw your suitcase on your bed.
"And that's it," you stuck out your tongue as he left your room, throwing a middle finger in the air as you unpacked your things. "Good to see you too!"
It was good to be back. Your room felt cold and dim, but it was home.
Just when you felt like you had settled, you heard the start of the commotion downstairs. Voices of girls and boys flooded your ears, and you wished you had scolded your parents for leaving you in charge of the house for the night. You couldn't even drink the way you wanted to after that six hour car ride here.
A smile spread across your lips, nonetheless, when you heard your brother laugh and joke with whoever now graced your home.
As much as you bickered, it was nice to see that he had came out of his shell a little.
You looked at yourself one last time in the mirror, flattening out your trousers as you fixed your hair. You wondered why you were even bothered, but deep down you knew why.
"Get back upstairs," Taerae rolled his eyes as you skipped down the stairs. "We are trying to have fun."
"She's older, I'm sure she knows how to have more fun than you," you heard one of the random boys say from the living room.
You chuckled as your brother simply huffed. "I'm not here to spoil anything. Have as much fun as you want guys."
With that, you slipped into the kitchen, placing a cup on the island counter as you poured yourself a drink. A relatively weak one, just to get you started.
It was then he caught your eye.
Well, it was difficult not to when he stared directly at you from your living room sofa. You cursed your parents for having the house so open plan.
He was different.
His hair was now longer and blonde, slicked back in places yet somehow messy. He wore a fitted black tee, one that you were sure would've fit him a year ago but didn't now. Someone had been working out.
You tore your eyes from him, taking your drink and making your way upstairs as your heart pounded.
You knew that seeing him for the first time would be difficult. Hell, he hadn't left your mind either.
Matthew sighed after you left, maybe it was a breath of relief that he didn't even know he was holding in.
The night went on as it was expected to. The place wasn't too crowded, and you were grateful for that. It made your evening hidden away in your bedroom much more tolerable.
That was until you heard a knock at the door around 12am, just as your eyes were sure they were about to close. "Yeah?"
"Can I come in?"
You'd recognise that voice anywhere, and even if you wanted to say no - you couldn't. "Sure."
There he was. You couldn't tell if he was drunk or sober from the way he quietly closed your door back over, turning to look at you with the same eyes you didn't even realise you had longed for all this time.
He didn't crack his famous smile, and you were glad. You didn't feel like smiling right now. "How are you?"
"I've been better," Matthew nodded, awkwardly taking a step forward. "And you?"
"Me too," you mumbled, moving over on the bed. "You can sit here."
He simply nodded, sitting down cautiously as he felt everything around him fall into place. Oh, how he missed this.
Your eyes trailed his buffer frame. It was so typical that he only got better looking in your absence.
You had changed too, maybe more than you realised. Matthew couldn't help but notice the more mature aura that surrounded you.
You stood up just that little bit taller, with more confidence and rightfully so - you were beautiful.
Yet you always had been. "Glad to be finished school?"
"Y/N..." he shook his head, not daring to look at you. "Let's cut the small talk. That isn't us."
"Then what is 'us'?" He finally looked at you, and how you wished he hadn't.
It was like a punch in the gut seeing how much he had grown since you last seen him.
You recalled how he stood with a blank expression as you loaded your stuff into your car, your mother holding back tears as Taerae silently cheered from beside him. If Matthew resonated with anyone in that moment, it would have been your mother.
Nonetheless, he helped you organise your things, not sparing you a look as he did so. You didn't look at him much either, afraid that moving to the other side of the country would hurt even more without him there to annoy you.
"You're my brothers best friend, is that all there is to 'us'?" Breaking the silence, you held his glance.
"You know that isn't true," he shook his head. "I thought about you every day, you know."
You needn't tell him that you thought of him too, your silence was telling enough - as were your eyes.
"Every day I walked here after school, I felt stupid for picturing that you were walking ahead of us the whole way. When I visited the library, I hoped that maybe you'd reach for the same book as me again and we could start our silly little study sessions all over again.
"Every time I passed your bedroom door I wished you were sitting here just like you are now, so that I could kiss you like I was supposed to the night I cowered away from you."
You blinked away tears, looking between his now desperate eyes. "I thought of you too."
Matthew shook his head, and instinctively you nodded. Why didn't he believe you? "Wrong."
"Wrong?" You tilted your head.
"That was the part where you were supposed to say I could kiss you now," he glanced over at you, watching as a smile threatened to form on your face.
"Idiot," you mumbled, the boy chuckling as his hand reached for yours. "You can."
"Huh?" He hummed.
"Don't make me repeat it," you warned with a raised eyebrow, holding your breath as he grinned.
"Wouldn't dream of it."
This time, you didn't brace yourself for what was to come. You had waited for this moment for too long that you felt you had prepared for it enough.
You dreamt of the feeling of being held in his arms as he kissed you gently, but maybe nothing could have prepared you for how desperately his lips moved against yours now, and just how safe you felt being held in arms that were much stronger than you could have imagined.
But none of that mattered for the moment had came, and it was better than you anticipated.
His hands were gentle as they found safety on your waist, and it was then you were sure he didn't want to let go.
He had known that for a while though. "Matthew, Y/N, get down here and let's party-"
You opened your eyes, lightly shoving Matthew from you as you seen your brother in the doorway, his mouth agape.
"You two are lucky I'm drunk," Taerae points between you. "Come downstairs."
You watch as he dances away, Matthew stifling a chuckle as you look worriedly at him. "Oh, don't be too worried. He's known about my crush on you for a while."
"Since when?" You lightly slap his chest, your cheeks flushing.
"We got drunk one night and he asked me why I was so down all the time," Matthew shrugged, holding your hand. "I told him everything."
"Everything? As in everything?"
"Yes, everything," he chuckled, squeezing your hand. "He approves, don't worry. He said if you break my heart he'll kill you."
You let out a laugh, how so typical of your annoying little brother.
Joining everyone downstairs, you smiled as Matthew didn't let go of your hand, and didn't hesitate to give you the occasional kiss on the forehead as you mingled with Taerae's new acquaintances.
He left you for a brief moment, pouring a drink as you watched him dance around the kitchen, smiling to yourself at the mere thought of now being with him.
"So, Matthew, huh?" Taerae sat beside you, eyeing your fond expression.
"Yep," you nodded, turning to look at your brother. "Sorry I didn't tell you."
"You don't have anything to be sorry for," maybe this was the year that Taerae finally matured. "I love you, I love him - so it's all good. Not much would change that."
You smiled at your brother, resting your head on his shoulder as you both looked at Matthew in the kitchen.
Now you thanked your parents for the open plan house, the home which was fit for Matthew too.
"I may love him more than you do," you looked up at Taerae who made a disgusted face.
"I wouldn't be surprised," your brother chuckled. "My best friend is pretty great."