Audriana pov
I toss and turn on this old mattress, I remember being a teenager and rarely being able to get out of it, but now? All I wanted to do was get up, it had to have been at least half past one and I still had yet to sleep. I could blame it on the mattress or the jet lag but it was the scary thoughts keeping me up.
I let out a sigh as I throw myself up, rubbing my eyes as I brush my hand through my hair. I quickly make a grab at my phone and check the time, rolling my eyes in frustration as I see its almost 3. It's raining outside, of course it is. But this time, hearing the rain is calming. It didn't rain in California like it did here, I hated California rain but the rain in England...it made me feel at home.
"What are you doing up?" Noah asks me as I make my way downstairs, scaring the living shit out of me.
"Jesus Christ" I say as I put my hand over my heart "Dont fucking do that"
"Cant sleep?" He asks me, I let out a sigh as I hop onto the island stool and put my head in my hands
"Nope" I confirm, I watch as he grabs an extra mug out and pours the tea into it. One for him and one for me, just like our dad used to do when we were sick or couldn't sleep.
"I cant either" He says
"Something feels different here" I say looking around
"Did you hear about dad's new girlfriend?" He asks me
"Dad's dating?" I ask confused
"Oh yeah" He confirms looking down
I knew that nobody would ever replace my mother, but I didn't want to hear about my fathers extravagant late nights. I look around the house and take a second to take it all in, there was a painting of mom with the four of us all grown up. We bought dad that picture for Christmas a few years back. There were pictures of all of us as kids, with the Williamson's by our side of course. I felt trapped in England, like I could never escape the Williamson void. It was as if I fell into a trap and I just had to await my death, there wouldn't be rescuing, not from this. The thought that scared me the most, was how I couldn't keep running away. Not when they were chasing me back.
"Do we like her?" I ask him
"she makes dad happy" he says sadly "I know that dad is be allowed to be happy, but I just hate seeing him with someone that isn't mom"
"She's not going to replace her, Noah" I make sure to tell him "No one ever will"
"I guess its just different, we all looked up to Amanda and saw her as a motherly figure but she wasn't trying to get in dads pants" He jokes and I look at him with a disgusted look as if to ask if he really just went there "I just hate this, I hate seeing someone else kissing him and ugh, I really fucking hate it"
"Does he want to get married again?" I suddenly ask
"No, he said he would never get married again" Noah says immediately "It just makes me so uncomfortable"
"Oh I know" I say with a laugh "Wanna go for a drive?"
"Its 3 in the morning, nothing is even open right now" He says
"Gas station is, come on...it'll be like old times" I say begging him
"Alright fine, lets go" He says with a laugh
We walk outside and immediately see Leah arguing with someone on the phone on her doorstep, she looks exhausted and as if she's about to cry. She makes eye contact with us and looks down before walking inside, as much as I wanted to hold her and tell her that it would be okay...that wasn't my job anymore.
"You're driving" He says as he throws me the keys and hops into the passenger seat, I laugh as I get into the drivers seat and immediately have to rearrange the seating. My brothers were all at least a foot taller than me, that gene unfortunately skipped over me. My brother, deciding to be funny, plays one of my newer songs on my album "Summertime Sadness"
"I'm feeling electric tonight, cruising down the coast going bout '99" Noah and I scream, I purposefully step on the gas and go a whole lot faster than I should be as I roll my windows down. My hair is flying in my face and im sure its in my brothers too but that doesn't stop us from screaming the lyrics, just like we would do when we were teenagers.
"I know If I go, I'll die happy tonight. Oh my god, I feel it in the air telephone wires above are sizzling like a snare" I sing solo, my brother deciding to join in on the next few lyrics.
"Ya know, this is one of my favorite songs of yours" He tells me
"Really?" I ask laughing, Noah always puts on this facade and makes fun of me. The moments like these between us, have always been my favorite.
"It's Leah's too, I doubt she knows its about her" He tells me and I roll my eyes
"You're acting as if she even listens to my music" I tell him annoyed as I pull into the gas station, parking my car in the lot before we walk inside the mart.
"She does, she might pretend to hate you but its because she misses you" He explains "She's doing the same thing that you are when you pretend to hate England, you guys are both so helplessly in love with each other...its actually embarrassing"
"When was the last time you dated someone?" I tease back as he opens the door for me
"No comment" He replies as we both laugh
We both grab our favorite chips, candies, and drinks. Doing the same thing we did as kids, eating them in the middle of the isle, probably being a nightmare for the working staff. As usual, we argue about who is paying, but Noah always ends up winning and just pays for my stuff anyway. I laugh as I eat my little candy pig tails and jump into the car, Noah driving us back home.
"We all missed you in England" He says calmly as we drive back, both of us definitely feeling the effects of no sleep as the time pushed 4:30am.
"I know" I tell him
"Especially Chase" He says "Youre our baby sister, it was rough without you here"
"I'm sorry" I tell him as I bring my legs up to the seat and look out the window
"Don't be, I would make that sacrifice 100 times more if it meant you got to achieve your dream" He says confidently "You can sleep if you want, were not gonna be home for another like 15 minutes"
That little sentence seems to register in my head as I rest my head against the window, falling fast asleep without a second thought. I briefly hear music playing in the background as Noah drives steady, his occasional singing or tapping against the steering wheel. My body seems to recognize the trees and turns as I slightly wake up, but not enough to register anything. Going In and out of sleep, I briefly hear two people talking. Sounding like Noah and a woman, I recognize the voice but I don't know who it is.
I feel two arms come under my body as I get picked up by my thighs. I bury my head into the crook of their neck, it was a woman carrying me, I knew that much. The shampoo and conditioner seemed to calm me down before I started freaking out and eased me back into sleep. Our bodies slightly jerked together as she carried me up the stairs, I knew I was home and I had a small idea of who was carrying me but I needed so badly for that not to be true. However me being incoherent and half asleep decided to mutter one word.
"Stay" is all that comes out of my mouth, they take a few minutes of hesitation and im sure they are debating on if they should stay or go. They are sure I wouldn't remember saying this in the morning, they probably think. But instead of leaving, she crawls into my bed and under the blankets. She scoops an arm around my waist and I roll over, burying my head into her chest as I allow my eyes to close. By her scent, I knew exactly who I was with.
I was in my bed, cuddling Leah Williamson.
and I sure as hell, would hate myself in the morning for it.