Four Years later
Summers in Bundelkhand were the worst, Meera had no clue how she had spent her entire childhood here.
Meera sat in her room, looking out of the window which opened with the view of her colourful kingdom.
"Pwease mami jaan, no." The sound of little feet pattering against the wooden floor announced the presence of her son.
"Abeer, just one glass and I'll let you play with Mrunal didi I promise."
"No mami jaan pwease, I no like it." He said rushing towards his mother and hiding his face in her legs.
"Maa, Abeer no like it." He said looking up at her and scrunching his nose.
His eyes reminding her of his father, the same shade of green.
Meera bent down and bunched him in her arms.
"Who is troubling my son." Meera asked smiling at him blowing raspberries on his cheek, making him giggle.
"Choti Mami is troubling your son, Meera didi." She heard Aaryan's voice. "She is more concerned about your son than she is about her husband." He complained.
"When will you grow up Aaryan."
"Why ? Did you marry a child ?" Aaryan said with a playful smirk.
"You are impossible."
"Am I Hania ?" He said playfully nudging her with his shoulder, to which she looked at him and glared.
"You are worse than Abeer." She said rolling her eyes.
"Meera baaji, I tried, only you can make him drink this." She said placing the glass of buttermilk on the table next to her and sat on Meera's bed.
"Meera di, don't you think I deserve an Abeer of my own now ?" Aaryan said with a serious expression.
"Stop. Staying. Stuff. In. Front. Of. Kids." Hania said throwing cushions from Meera's bed on her husband.
"What even he was born from the same pro-."
"Aaryan enough." Meera said sternly. "Go, go back to your work." She said turning to her son and pulling him on her lap.
As Aaryan left, Hania turned to Meera, who was making her son drink the beverage.
"Meera baaji, Jamila aapa wrote she is going to visit sometime around next week."
"So soon ? She just left three months back." Meera said looking at Hania.
"You know how she is, she says she misses the kids ." Hania said rolling her eyes.
"Of course." Meera laughed.
"Did you have your breakfast?" Hania asked.
"Yes I did and I also went for a stroll with Mrunal, Maheen and Abeer." Meera informed her.
"Meera baaji, can I asks you something." Hania asked looking at Meera.
"Of course."
"Its been a year since my wedding with Aaryan, and everyone did welcome me warmly, but Rani Maa she -."
"Don't mind her Hania, it took me 24 years to get her acceptance and love, she is a little stuck up." Meera giggled. "But you'll worm your way into her heart i know."
"I hope so too, I jus-."
"Rajkumari Meera, Rajkumari Hania, you both have been asked to join everyone for breakfast." The maid said entering the chamber.
Meera looked at Hania and smile.
A year after Meera had returned home, her brother had confessed about his feelings for Hania.
The process of wooing Hania had although taken a long time.
Hania often wondered how had her life come to this from being an orphan maid in the Mughal empire to being a princess with a loving and happy family.
•••
They sat on the large table once full of people, a family Meera had loved dearly. But everything had changed in the last four years, the plague had taken her father away, a war her brother and Anamika died grieving her husband Samar leaving Mrunal in their care.
When she lost all, she found a love she had craved all her life, she found acceptance in Divyanshi and love of a mother.
"Rani maa, you called for us ?" Meera said sitting down on the chair next to Divyanshi.
"I did." She said eyeing Hania who tried to hide in the shadows of the room. "Will I have to send a written invite to ask you to sit down."
Hania's head snapped, this was the first time Divyanshi has acknowledged her presence.
"N..no." She stuttered moving towards Meera.
"Come and sit here." Divyanshi said pointing at the chair opposite to Meera on Divyanshi's right.
"It's the first day of Savan, I asked the Maharaj (cook) to prepare these sweets, the first bite must be taken by the daughter and the daughter in law."
A tray full of different sweets was placed in front of them. Meera looked up from the table to see the sweets were brought in by her younger brother.
"I don't just have you here to stuff your mouth with food but I have a very important announcement to make." Divyanshi said looking at her son who nodded in encouragement.
"It's almost four years since your father passed away and two since Samar, you both have been taking care of the kingdom and it's flourished well under your guidance." She said looking at the siblings. "But the throne cannot remain empty."
"I agree Maa, we should -."
"Good that you agree Meera, so now agree to what I have to say next as well." Divyanshi interjected. "Both Aaryan and I wish to see you on that throne, as the a Queen of Bundelkhand."
"That's .. that's not possible, Aaryan is the heir to the throne and -."
"Your father's blood is the heir to the throne, and after Samar you are the older one."
"But Maa it's Aaryan throne, his right."
"Didi please. Maa and I have this discussion long back, I don't want to be tied to the throne or live a life under responsibilities, and it's not just because I don't want it I'm pushing it towards you, you in every true sense are a queen, a queen our people deserve."
"Say yes Meera please."
"I need to think about it." She said with a small smile. "I need to head back and get the kids ready, Haider will be here soon."
The others nodded while she took her exit.
As she walked towards her chamber she couldn't help but think, think about the consequences of sitting on the throne, she would be responsible not just for her life but the thousands associated with it.
As she passed through her children's room she could hear them laughing, her worries dissipated into thin air, her children brought her joy, they took all her worries away.
Pushing the curtains aside she walked in to find Meera and Abeer chasing each other, running in circles around their fathers long legs.
"You've come early." She said with a smile.
"We didn't stop much." He replied, a twinkle in his eyes as he looked at her.
"I had to see my little monsters as soon as I could."
"Well looks like you are in time to have some fresh ghevar." Meera said. "Rani Maa has prepared a ton of sweets."
"Lucky me."
He walked towards her slowly and bent down, wrapping his arms around her tiny frame. He took in a deep breath taking in her scent and his heart clenched painfully. This was the price he had to pay.
Meera let him hold her, her hands around him in the air, inches away from him, never touching him. She fought hard to not feel his warmth, she deprived herself of him, but if punishing him meant punishing her so be it.
She may have forgiven him but she could never forget, she would never forget. The mental scars would always remain.
Haider had to Bundelkhand after Rani Maa had sent him a letter informing of the birth of his children.
Meera had almost lost her life giving birth to her two kids, but the gods had helped her.
Haider on receiving the news had left Agra immediately, riding as fast as he could.
To say that his welcome was drier than the the deserts of Bundelkhand was an understatement, they hated his guts. Samar had wanted to behead him on site but Divyanshi had stopped her family, he was on their land, a king and he would be treated like one, if the brothers wanted justice for their sister they were free to wage a war between the two kingdoms.
Haider was let into the walls, he was shown to the nursery were Meera lay asleep along with a large crib next to her bed.
He walked towards her, she looked pale and ghostly. He wanted to hold her, he wanted to apologise for his actions, he wanted her to beat him for all his wrong doings. He bent down and touched her feet which were sticking out of the blanket, her soft warm skin made him regret his every action.
He moved away from her towards the crib and there lay two tiny figures bundled up.
A tiny drop of tear rolled down his cheek, he knew he had lost everything. He had lost his wife and maybe even his children.
He touched the feet of his son who was wrapped in an dark blue cloth, the baby smiled with his eyes closed at the warm touch making him tear up yet a smile played on his lip.
He moved to see that his daughter had opened her eyes, her brown eyes were exactly like Meera's.
"Hi my princess." He said touching her cheeks.
The baby stared at her for a few seconds and then began to wail.
The sound of her baby cry made Meera wake up with a jolt.
"Maheen." She muttered groggily and turned towards the crib.
She looked at Haider and her breathing hitched. Her eyes bulged and she took Ina deep breath.
"Hand me my daughter." She said as she couldn't move due to her stitches.
Haider nodded and picked their daughter up handing her over to Meera.
Meera took her daughter and cradled her, talking to her.
Maheen had immediately stopped crying, she just wanted her mother's touch.
"I believe you have seen both my children, this is my daughter Maheen and that's my son Abeer." She said still looking at her daughter in her hand and not at the man standing in front of her.
"You should leave now that you've seen them, you can visit them once in a while if you wish to as I wouldn't want my children growing up deprived of a father, that is if you want to." She said.
She never wished this for her children, she knew what it felt like to grow up without a mother, she had her father but one parent could never compensate for the other.
"Meera I'm sorry." Haider said his voice a cracked whisper.
"Please forgive me."
"I will someday when my wounds aren't green." She replied emotionless. She looked at him and the women he saw was someone he had never seen before, what had he done.
"If you are here to ask me to come with you or to take my children away from me, let me tell you it won't ever happen." She said. "I wish to be separated from you, since we got married under the Islamic law, I wish to be freed from you, I need you to divorce me."
"Meera please !"
"I'll assure you that I won't re marry. You have given me enough love in the past years to last a lifetime and enough pain to never trust a man with my heart again, and of course for the sake of my children, they would never grow up with a step father."
"You have my permission as the first wife to marry, not that you've needed that in the past. My children will stake no claim to your throne."
"Meera please." He said crying. "Don't punish me, beat me all you want, kill me if you will, but please don't leave me."
"I've left you Haider, I left you the day I walked out of the gates of Agra, this is your punishment."
Haider had tried hard to convince Meera, he cried, he begged, he pleaded but nothing could deter Meera.
Eventually he left, he left Bundelkhand leaving his wife and children behind.
He had not given her the divorce she had asked for and he knew he was a selfish bastard, he would never give it to her.
Over the years Haider visited his children multiple times, Inayat and Noor too had come to see Meera and the children never did the two women as Meera to come back, they knew that the palace of Agra held dark memories for her.
Haider and Meera had started anew, first as acquaintances, then advisors for each others kingdoms and Haider would be bold to say they were now friends.
Meera never wishes to see Haider after the first time he left, but she knew she wouldn't want a toxic environment for her children created by their parents. She knew she would eventually have to answer a lot of questions and she would be ready when the time came.
"I met Rani Maa before I came up." Haider said. "She told me she'd ask you to take the throne."
"She just did."
"And ?"
"I don't know if I can." She said sitting on the bed where Abeer played with his wooden wagon.
"Why not Meera ? You have been ruling the kingdom after Samar Bhaisa's death, nothing will change really."
"I had Aaryan with me to he-."
"He will still be there. The kingdom has prospered tremendously, your relations with the neighbour's have become stronger, you were made for this Meera, born to be a queen. You are a Queen Meera."
"I will think about it." She said. She knew she would eventually have to make the decision and deep down she knew she didn't have much choice, the decision was already made, she will ascend the throne.
"Maa." Maheen yelled catching her attention. "We are starting the game come quickly."
Meera watched her kids laugh as they played with their father. She prayed that nothing would change this, she prayed for her children's happiness and even for the man they called their father.
Love was complicated.
Did she ever truly forgive Haider ?
Maybe.
Will she ever forget what he did ?
She knew she never could.
Did she still love the man ?
She did in a twisted way. She still did.
But now she loved herself as well.
AN: So yes the alternate end, tbh nothing changed except for the fact that they don't get their happily ever after.
If you ask me you can't un love a person you've truly loved and Meera did truly love Haider, but you can always learn to love someone more that your first love and in this case it was herself.
Meera was always meant to be THE QUEEN so why not rule her own kingdom.
Idk if you all are satisfied with this end but yeah, I wanted the kids to have their father, Meera to not marry because she was self sufficient in herself and Haider to suffer the loss and feel the void.
Haider never married after Meera and continued to get what he got from her, even if it was co parenting as friends.
This is it for this book.
Be safe and lots of love