While monitoring the bonfires is a duty it was one I actually enjoyed. It wasn't often when I would actually be allowed to let my magic out in this capacity. Even being near this much open flame was a rarity and I enjoyed the feeling.
I thought about Daella, hoping she had found Alvaryn, while I would prefer I was with her I would still rather she be spending her time with my brother than one of the other pricks that would be out tonight.
I can feel my parents as they stay on their podium, my mother smiles at me as I look over at them. She looked as she always did. Ethereal beauty, sad eyes, mouth held in that posed smile of hers.
I think back to the other day, when I had visited her after father had asked each of us to make the effort to see her. I tried to see her regularly, but it was getting harder and harder. Seeing her so still and quiet, never complaining, never laughing or crying or screaming. No, she would just smile and ask about me, get me to talk about my time, ignoring my questions for her.
I knew what was happening, we all did, but it made no difference.
Her magic was killing her, or killing her soul. She refused to use it, to let any of it out. So it just ate away at her, day after day. Her body remained the same, but there was less light in her eyes, less life in her voice.
I had stopped bringing it up. It only made her withdraw father into herself, then she would refuse visits altogether. Father said it was for the best, that her magic was too dangerous and would only cause more harm, that it was her choice to keep it hidden. I hadn't even seen it, had only heard rumours of it. A darkness of the mind, a shadow like magic that only caused pain.
I watch my mother, trying to imagine a creature so pure and innocent looking being gifted with such a dark magic. It seemed utterly unfair. I once hated my own magic, hated the way it burned inside of me. It felt more like a burden than a gift. But I knew that it was nothing compared to what my mother must feel every day. Like a prisoner in her own body.
I turn to father, watching him speak with his advisor. I wondered how he could just sit and watch as his wife withered away, shut herself up inside the palace, only bringing herself out for certain events.
I turn back to the bonfire, I delve my magic into the flames, forming a dragon at its centre before releasing it above the flames, it soars overhead and around the bonfire, jaw open and wings spread wide. The fae cheer and continue dancing, their bodies blending in like a barrier around the bonfire.
I had celebrated summer solstice over two hundred times, the earlier ones had been just that, celebrating and dancing and eating and just enjoying the festivities. Then as I developed my magic and grew older, more responsibilities were given to me. Monitoring one bonfire, then two, then all three.
It had been difficult at first, to not get pulled into the flames, to let them just do what they wanted. That pull was always there, warmth and power singing in my veins, yearning to just give in.
Over time I learned how to make the flames listen, to be guided. The draw became easier to manage.
I wondered if that is what it felt like for Daella, with her furious little temper.
She struggled with it, with keeping it in check. She hated it, or maybe not hated it, but she didn't see it as a gift, or her own form of magic.
That is what I had tried to tell her earlier, that true fire can never be controlled, that it will always be wild, it might allow itself to be guided and shaped and used for its light and heat, but it would always remain true at its core.
She was struggling with what was expected of her and who she truly was. What if there was a way that she wouldn't have to change? That she could just let that fire burn within and still have her adventures and be happy?
"Aeris," I turn, seeing Alvaryn walking towards me with Daella at her side, he is holding her hand and I can't help the surge of jealousy but I squash it down and smile at my brother and Daella. She grins back at me, eyes wide and pupils dilated.
"Aeris," She smiles turning to the flames and she gasps, her hands covering her mouth. "It's just like Dagen!"
"Dagen? Been sharing stories have we?" Alvaryn asks. And I shrug. I watch as she lifts her arms into the air grinning wildly at the fire dragon.
"Is she drunk?" I ask Alvaryn as he watches her warily. He nods. I can't help but grin at the idea of her being drunk and me completely sober.
"Helping her to the wine?" I laugh as she stands with her hands over her head and starts dancing, swaying to the music. Fae wine was definitely stronger than whatever piss water the humans drank.
"It wasn't me, I just found her. I need to tell you something, but not while you're monitoring the fire." He says, eyes still watching Daella with concern and anger written clearly on his face.
"Did something happen?" I ask quickly, turning to him. He looks at me with a serious expression.
"Dae just told me something, something I think you need to know. She hasn't been hurt."
Slight relief washes over me but I can tell whatever it is serious enough for Alvaryn to come find me now and not wait until tomorrow.
"Ok, just give me a minute. I'm sure father won't notice if I disappear for a moment." I say reaching out towards the dragon as it flies up straight above the flames, it's tale long and scaled as it turns and flies straight back into the fires centre, sparks flitter out and over the fae dancing and another cheer sounds.
"Daella, let's go for a walk?" I call out, walking towards her, taking her hand and threading her fingers through mine. She grins at me, her smile bright and happy.
"Are we going back to the tiny suns to dance?" She asks and I look back at Alvaryn who just lifts one shoulder.
"Sure, let's go back to the tiny suns." I smile.
Alvaryn is quick to follow behind us as I walk away from the bonfires, following the strings of lanterns and lit paths. There are fae no doubt trying to find a dark enough place to enjoy their solstice in the more carnal ways. Normally I would be one of those fae hiding away to find my own pleasure. How things have changed since this unexpected human girl came into our lives.
I hold onto Daella's hand tightly until we come to the gazebo. Lanterns light the ceiling, streamers and flowers decorate the arches.
"So, what did Daella tell you?" I ask letting go of her hand as she walks around the gazebo looking at the flowers and streamers.
"She told me that Varis has threatened her, that he told her he would kill her if she didn't conform."
I stop, checking on Daella as she looks up at the lanterns still smiling.
"Wait, Varis told Daella that he would kill her, for what?"
"I don't know exactly, she never talks to me about her lessons, but there has been times where I have found her, upset, beyond upset, terrified, saying she was being called inferior and useless after her lessons. You see how different she is from the other chosen, maybe not so much over the past week, especially when she is around others. She said she doesn't pretend when she is with us." He replies, eyes watching Daella as she moves around.
"There was that time I found her crying in the garden." I say softly, thinking of the hazy memory.
"When was that?" He asks, both of us checking on Daella.
"A week or more. She wouldn't tell me why, I might have been a little drunk at the time." I admit.
"Of course." He mutters.
"Well I didn't know that I would find her crying when I was sneaking back into the palace grounds." I retort. "Besides, it's not really the point, we need to do something about Varis."
"Varis is Father's advisor, I don't know how much we can do."
"So you don't want to do anything about it and just let him threaten Daella?" I ask.
"Of course not! I just know that he is a trusted member of Father's court, and given that Demwyn decided to tell father about Dae we need to be careful about it, not just go barging in to one of the council meetings demanding his head on a spike."
"While the idea of that is appealing that isn't what I was thinking. We need to know more, Daella dearest." I call out, turning to find her dancing in the centre of the gazebo, she turns, smiling at me. I hold out my hands and she takes them happily.
"We need to ask you some questions." I begin walking her to the bench and sitting down beside her.
"About what?" She asks looking from me to Alvaryn smiling excitedly.
"About what you told Alvaryn." I continue and she looks at me confused.
"Well I think you are beautiful as well Aeris, although your eyes are so different from Alvaryn's. They are so dark, like the shadows have soaked up all the colour in them, sometimes it feels like if I stare at them long enough I might fall in." She says softly, her hand reaching out to take my face. "But still beautiful in their own way."
For the first time in her presence I am speechless, I only smile at her, taking her hand in mine and pulling it away from my face to keep me from getting even more distracted.
"Thank you, but that isn't what I meant. We want to talk about Varis."
She pulls back from me, pulling her hand free from mine.
"I don't want to talk about him." She looks away. "Can we go back and dance, or maybe get some more wine, I've never had wine before."
"I just want to know what he told you, why he was mean to you."
"I stand out." She says quietly, hands in her lap, playing with her skirt. "I shouldn't stand out, I should be like the others."
"The other chosen." Alvaryn says and she nods. "How are you not like the other chosen?"
She shrugs. "All those lessons, and that stick, Mistress correcting me, over and over. But I don't want to just forget who I am, I don't want to pretend but I need to, I need to be better and show them both that I don't want to die."
"You're not going to die Dae," Alvaryn says touching her shoulder.
She looks at him, her bright blue eyes sad.
"He would make me disappear, my family would never even know what happened to me, that's why I try so hard. But I like spending time with you, and you Aeris," She says turning to me and smiling. "I don't have to pretend when I'm with you, and it means I won't forget who I am. Demwyn doesn't understand why I like being with both of you. I just have to hide myself sometimes, but I can do that." She nods with a resolved expression.
"Wait, Demwyn? What did Demwyn say to you?" I ask. She turns, smiling at me sadly.
"He's just worried, worried about the unknown. I don't think he likes me at all." She shrugs.
I know I need to get back to the bonfires, it wouldn't be long before the sun started to rise but father would notice if I wasn't there.
I didn't want to leave, I needed to understand everything that was happening. My mind was hard to reign in, images of Varis beaten and bloody flash, while thinking of new ways to stretch out his pain and torture. And find out what the hell Demwyn had said to her.
"You need to get back. I just, I knew you would want to know. We need to find out what Varis is doing and make sure Dae is safe." Alvaryn says pulling me from my thoughts.
"What did she mean by stick?" I ask standing, needing to move, to arrange my thoughts away from bloody murder and to something more helpful.
"I think she means the Mistress beats her with it, correcting her, during their lessons." Alvaryn says quietly as Daella stands and starts dancing around the gazebo.
I can feel the fire at my core lashing about wildly at the thought of someone hurting Daella.
What kind of lessons were they? It was meant to be history and etiquette, why would there ever be a need for beatings?
Is that why she had been crying that afternoon? Had she just finished a lesson? I had no idea, I had made jokes and tried teasing her.
She has been hiding all of this for days or weeks even while we bicker about who gets to spend time with her.
"No more wine for her." I tell Alvaryn. "I need to get back to the bonfires before Father notices. Just don't let her out of your sight."
He nods.
I can feel the anger roaring inside me, the flames calling to me but I knew it would be reckless to go back to the bonfires like this. I need to hold on, for a couple more hours, just monitor the fires, and wait for the sun to rise and then decide how I'm going to murder Varis and then that useless hag Agaile.
Ok, no, that isn't what I need to be thinking about and planning in graphic detail. I need to push it to the back of my mind. I need to think about Daella being safe with Alvaryn for the rest of the solstice. Then, tomorrow, I would find Alvaryn and we would decide what to do.
"Alright Daella," I say taking her hands again, she smiles brightly up at me. "I have to go back to the bonfires, I want you to stay with Alvaryn for the rest of the night."
"Okay, I want to go back and dance, and then watch some more fire magic." She smiles with wide excited eyes.
"That sounds like a wonderful idea dearest."
She grins before skipping past me and holding her hand out for Alvaryn. He takes her hand nodding at me before walking with her back towards the celebrations.
Alvaryn was right, we were limited, we may be the crown princes, but Varis had been Fathers advisor since before we were born.
He was cunning and intelligent, while I had never really taken the time to get to know him, the idea of him threatening Daella. Stop. Stop. She is safe with Alvaryn right now. That is all I need to think about.
The bonfires burn brightly as fae continue to dance around them. I see the other chosen smiling happily, no doubt enjoying the wine as well.
I take up my place near the main bonfire, reaching my magic out towards the flames, I feel that instant draw, pulling me into it. Gods it is hard to resist. That desire to burn anyone and everyone who ever thought about Daella in the wrong way, Varis being first on my list.
The bonfire flames flare and flicker. Stop. Take a breath. Now is not the time.
I pull my magic back, keeping it separate, breathing in the cool night air.
I think of Daella safe with Alvaryn again, and my magic creates her in the flames, just as she looks tonight, with her hair down and a ring of flowers like a crown on her head. Her green dress flowing around her as she dances around the flames.
Daella's safety was all that mattered right now and as soon as the solstice was finished I would make sure that it would never be questioned again.