~~~~~~~~~~
Minho dropped to his knees with a loud cry of his lover's name.
"Why did you have to?" He cried as he stared at nothing but a portrait of his lover which was done by him.
"I should have been there" tears dropped one by one and he lowered his head. The silent cry turned into sobbing. He was crying so hard that he started shaking.
"Min?" A shaky voice said and then he felt a hand touch his back. He didn't look back, he didn't have the energy to do so. The person wrapped his hands around Minho in a protective manner.
This was Minho's breaking point, he held onto the arm which was around him, "Chan" he stuttered at the end.
"It's not your fault Min" Chan reassured him, but it didn't help.
"Chan you don't know" he sobbed, his breathing was unstable.
"Only if we have communicated bett-" he choked on his tears. "Min breathe" Chan instructed. "I can't Chan" he stuttered.
"Chan it's because of me" he mumbled but Chan didn't hear him. Minho could feel his vision going blurry, his mind was fuzzy, he couldn't hear Chan's voice.
He passed out.
Later, when Minho woke up, he found himself on a bed which was not his. A weird smell surrounded him and the room.
He slowly opened his eyes and finally recognised the place, hospital.
It was the smell of anticeptics which was suffocating him.
There was a pain in his chest which was not going away. It hurted so bad. He wanted to die.
It was hard to breathe without him.
He tried sitting up but stopped when he felt a sharp pain hit his spine.
Not being able to do anything, he layed back down, closing his eyes.
"I love you Min" jisung said as he caressed Minho's cheek, watching him sleep peacefully.
He kissed the other's forehead and layed down with him, holding him close.
Minho woke up crying, the memories came back flooding, every time jisung kissed him, everytime jisung said I love you to him, everytime jisung made him smile. It was all about jisung, and it will always be him.
He sat up with difficulty and brought his knees to his chest and dropped his head in between them.
"Why'd you go away?" He mumbled.
Suddenly he felt a familiar warmth around him, like it was someone hugging him, jisung?
He looked up but there was no one. It was just him.
"Sungie?" He called out softly in hopes to get a response, which was not possible.
He sniffled and wiped off of his tears, there is nothing he can do now.
Just when he was about to get off the bed a nurse entered his room. "Mr.Lee? Are you okay now?" She asked as she kept away something in the cabinet across the bed.
"Can I go home?"
<3
The grass felt so cold for his liking, but there's nothing he could do.
He couldn't bring himself to go home, all the memories were eating him alive.
He was sat in front of Han jisung's grave.
He was crying, because he missed him. He had been crying for half an hour. The tears won't stop.
In his hand there was the letter jisung wrote to him before leaving, it was yet to read.
He wiped the tears and opened the letter.
Dear love,
I hope you're okay. And it isn't your fault that I left. It'll never be, please don't blame yourself.
You were never the reason I left, you were my smile, my happiness, you were my baby, you still are. My little baby:)
I left because I couldn't do it anymore, this world was weighing me down, like whenever I went out to work it took a piece of my heart, making it shallow.
I would have died years back, but then I met you. The love of my life. You saved me until you couldn't anymore.
I know my thoughts were also a reason of me leaving you. I was always thinking, did I deserve you, did I deserve the care from you and did I deserve your love.
And now I know, I didn't deserve you Minho. You deserve so much better, someone who could treat you better than I ever did, someone who love you much more than I did, and someone who didn't leave like I did.
I'm sorry, I really am.
I love you Minho, I love you a lot and I'll always do.
From your sungie <3
The letter ended, leaving Minho in tears, he didn't know that jisung thought that bad about himself.
He clutched the letter in hand and sobbed, until he was exhausted to think about anything.
And then suddenly he felt that warmth again. It left as fast as it came.
"Min" he heard a mumble of his name. He ignored it but the voice called out again.
He stood up and slid the letter in his pocket. He followed the direction where the voice was coming from.
He went past a bush and there was a lake, he was in awe seeing the view.
The sky was orangish-red coloured, and the sun was setting, the lake was clean, that he could see through it.
Then he noticed a faint figure of someone sitting near the lake. He walked upto them.
"Excuse me?" He called out but the person didn't respond. He tried to touch the stranger's shoulder but his hand passed through it, as if the person was made up of gas.
He gasped and the person turned around.
"Sungie?"
Jisung smiled, it was not a happy one. "I thought you-" Minho couldn't complete, it was hard to speak.
"Minho I love you" jisung said stood up facing Minho.
As the younger took a hold of the other's hand, he made eye contact.
"I'm so sorry Minho" jisung cried. Minho broke down and dropped to his knees. Jisung crouched down in front of him.
"Why did you have to leave" Minho sobbed out. Jisung moved his hand to touch Minho's cheek, but he couldn't feel anything, neither could Minho, but jisung still had to stay strong for Minho.
"I had to" he paused, "you need to move on from me Minho"
"Minho" someone shook his shoulder a little, and he opened his eyes. "You were crying Minho" Chan said and sat down beside the younger.
Minho touched his cheek and stared at his hand, "Chan? I met sungie"
I know it was not good, but i wanted to post this.
Please leave reviews.
I love reading your comments:)
Don't hurt yourself<3