Obi-Wan avoids the cockpit; that's where Vader's probably going to be much of the time. This... is not how he expected his mission for finding Luke to go, at all. Anakin is alive. He's... he's alive. And Obi-Wan has no idea what to think of that.
He survived. Somehow. Obi-Wan still clearly remembers the moment the... screams stopped. He was closing himself off to the Force, didn't want to feel the pain from his bond with Anakin, couldn't handle feeling it break. But he'd been certain in that horrifying moment when he heard everything suddenly quiet – he wasn't back at the landing platform yet – that Anakin was gone. But apparently, he's still alive. And he's been a Sith all this time.
"I am what you made me."
He can't help thinking back to their fight, of Vader's fury, and... (Not that he can blame him for that.) The armor is... at least somewhat for life support, isn't it? He doesn't want to know.
Vader should have had the best medical treatment, though, right? It couldn't be... that bad.
That doesn't stop the guilt gnawing at him, though, any more than it has the past two years. Even if he doesn't know what else he could've done. He should've finished it. (Surely, it would be better, even for Anakin's sake, if he hadn't had to survive that day.)
Nor does Obi-Wan know what to think of the... end of their fight. He still remembers the pain from the lava licking across his own skin, and he'd been terrified for a moment that he was going to die there, like that. The same way he thought Anakin had for years.
He thought Vader would let it happen. He still doesn't fully understand how it didn't end in his death. He was in too much pian to really register anything, but he's almost certain he'd felt that black hole of a presence wrap around him, pulling him out. But he doesn't know for sure. (Doesn't know if he wants to, because of the implications that would come with that.) He could have imagined it. Because why would Vader save his life, after... everything that's gone between them?
There's also the small fact that if Anakin is alive, that means – that means it's his duty to finish it, like he should've before. At least if he's still with Sidious, which he obviously is. (But can he really do that, after last time? He doesn't think he could handle seeing Anakin lying at his feet again. And he can't stop remembering the feel of those flames, and he'd left Anakin in that, and – and Anakin might've just saved his life, which makes no sense, when he could've killed him on Mustafar multiple times.)
It can't be good that Vader knows of Luke and Leia, though. Obi-Wan was supposed to protect them from the Sith, whoever they will be. And he'll... have to do what he must. Even if he doesn't know that he'll have the strength to.
It must've been longer than Obi-Wan thought it was, because suddenly, the ship is coming out of hyperspace. He reluctantly heads to the cockpit.
Vader is flying, with the same skill Anakin always used, and it hurts to watch. The armor makes him unrecognizable, and that makes it marginally easier to be near him, though. He... doesn't know if he's ready to see Anakin's face again. (What does he even look like now?)
Like before, they lose control of their ship, dragged towards a steadily growing light. The next thing Obi-Wan knows, he's waking up in his seat, sunlight streaming in the front window.
Longing rushes through him as he looks outside. It's a perfect reflection of the last time, of times long gone, and it's nearly enough to take his breath away. He knows as a Jedi he needs to let go, but he can't do that. Doesn't know how he ever could stop missing Anakin and what they had.
Especially not when with the sheer strength of the Force here, he's suddenly feeling it again, like he hasn't in years. And he can keenly feel his long-buried bond with Anakin. Last time they were here, their bond had been extremely active and overwhelming, too. But it's different when all Obi-Wan feels from their bond is darkness, and he can't block it out properly.
Vader is the first on his feet, moving for the ramp, and they follow.
It feels far emptier here than it did before, in the same way the Force has dimmed and darkened even more since the end of the war. The Ones aren't here, either, so Obi-Wan is frankly unsure where they're going to start.
"What is this place?" Mill asks, looking around, obviously awed.
"A physical manifestation of the Force itself," Vader replies, "Embodiments of the Force once dwelled here, but they are gone now."
"How are we going to find Abeloth, or the twins?" Ahsoka asks, crossing her arms.
"She is an... anomaly in the Force," Vader answers after a pause, "If we concentrate together as before, we may be able to locate her.
"You mean meditate?" Obi-Wan asks.
The helmet jumps to him. "...Yes."
Obi-Wan hasn't actively used the Force for much in so long that he doubts he'll be of much use, but they have to find the twins, whatever it takes.
***
Feeling Anakin's now dark presence pulsing next to him, so closely when they're meditating, is... seriously disconcerting. It only makes him long even more. But finally, they pick up on Abeloth's trail.
"She's by the Father's monastery," Obi-Wan realizes.
"We should go in on foot," Ahsoka says, grimly.
Vader stands oddly slowly – it's nothing like the energy Anakin always showed – and they head for the ramp together. He can't believe they're working together like this again. Though once the twins are safe, Obi-Wan doesn't know what that will mean. He doesn't know if they will be safe, so long as... Anakin is with them.
They start climbing the slope together, and he could swear it's shifting or something, because they seem to get to the top faster than they ought to. They're right outside the building, when vines suddenly sprout from the ground, reaching for them.
Obi-Wan whips out his lightsaber, slashing through them. It's been a long time since he's fought like this, but he'll have to do it. Abeloth in her human form jumps down from... somewhere up above, glaring them down. "You will not interfere," she warns, "You've made a grave mistake by coming here."
"You will give my children back," Vader snarls.
"Never," Abeloth snaps, "They are mine now. Or soon will be."
Vader lashes out first, wrapping the Force around her neck, but she shoves back violently. He staggers, oddly off-balance, but Obi-Wan doesn't wait, lunging forwards. Ahsoka leaps at the Mother next as she twists form, tentacles batting them both aside. A sharp vine wraps around his wrist, but he rips free – ignoring how the thorns gash his arm open; it's nothing remotely significant – and starts cutting through the vines again.
But just like every other time they fought her, he already knows this isn't going to go well. She's far more powerful than them, and now, she's on Mortis. So are they, but they don't have the same knowledge or skill with drawing so deeply in the Force. They're outmatched, and no one is coming to help them
Nor does he have a moment longer to consider it, because he, Ahsoka, and Mill can scarcely fight through the vines before they start growing again. Why hasn't she killed them yet?
Maybe it's only because Vader's doing a good job keeping her distracted, but he's still not coming close to taking her down.
But then, a Force-wave slams into Anakin, nearly throwing him to the ground, before Abeloth wraps the Force around him, and... starts crushing.
Obi-Wan hears the sound of metal breaking, the sound of some machine-something being crushed, and hears Anakin's strangled cry of pain as he lands on his back.
"Your friends have returned for you," Abeloth hisses, staring down at him. Obi-Wan struggles to break free of the plants, fear suddenly clawing at him. Is Anakin – (He shouldn't care, but he can't stop it. He doesn't want Anakin to die again.) The fury that surges through him at the Mother for what she just did nearly catches him by surprise. Maybe he was willing to hurt Anakin because of – of what happened, but that doesn't mean he's not angry to see Abeloth doing this, senselessly. "At least let me have what's left of my family."
With that, she disappears as though she was never there, leaving Obi-Wan with an increasingly unsettling feeling about what she's actually planning to do with the twins. But right now, he needs to get to Anakin. Cutting himself free quickly now that she's gone, he scrambles to the cyborg's side, along with a panicking Ahsoka and Mill.
"Anakin?" Obi-Wan asks, heart pounding faster than it ought to be, as he reaches out, suddenly unsure what he's... doing. His fingers ghost across Vader's upper right arm, and it feels foreign and wrong, and –
And this is the first time he's touched Anakin in two years.
(Something about this is reminding him too much of Mustafar, and he – he can't let it play out the same way again.)
"Anakin!" Ahsoka calls, almost frantically.
"I am here," he rasps. His respirator is making strange noises; it must've been damaged, too.
Something shifts in the Force next to them, and Obi-Wan looks up sharply to see Qui-Gon standing there.
What?!
"Qui-Gon?" he asks, disbelievingly. He's been searching for him for two years now, but never reached him. And now, suddenly, he's appearing here.
Ahsoka and Mill just stare, shocked.
"Time is short," he tells them, gravely, "The Force is unbalanced from Abeloth's return. Because this is a world of the Force itself, you will be able to restore much of Anakin's human form. This may be the only way you can stop her."
"That... is possible?" Anakin asks, slowly. (Even through the vocoder, there's a distinctly vulnerable note in his voice that nearly makes Obi-Wan wince.) He's speaking with difficulty, but he's still able to talk, which is... good.
"Yes, but you must work together," Qui-Gon replies, "Go to where the Force is strongest."
"Where's that?" Obi-Wan objects. He has so many questions, but there's probably only so long Anakin can last, so that's their priority.
Apparently, the Force... actively wants him to be healed? Does that mean Obi-Wan doesn't need to... finish it, like he thought? It's confusing, and he needs direction. He knows what Master Yoda would probably say, but –
"Where the test of the Chosen One once was," Qui-Gon replies, before fading out.
"Come on," Ahsoka urges, expression tight, as she stands. She's the first to reach out, helping lift Anakin with the Force, and Obi-Wan joins her. Mill follows as they carry him onto the central platform outside the tower, where Anakin had once saved him and Ahsoka from the Son and Daughter.
It feels like another lifetime that could even have happened. Even if Anakin's right here now, it's... different. It always will be, won't it? Because he destroyed the Jedi, and he...
"How are we... doing this?" Obi-Wan asks. Because frankly, he has no idea.
"I can put him in a healing trance," Mill offers, "I'm a healer. And if he helps channel the Force from here, I imagine it will... heal whatever can be?"
"... yes," Vader agrees, though he sounds uncertain.
She crouches by his head, lips pursed. "I... I think I'll have to take this off. I'll be easier with skin contact."
Anakin stills completely for a moment, his unhappiness at the prospect obvious.
"I'd think you'd have to take most of your armor off, to heal properly. I don't really... know what it's for or how it works, but..." Ahsoka offers.
"Very well," he concedes, but he's obviously uncomfortable and uncertain, as Mill reaches for his helmet.
She doesn't look overly comfortable with it either, as she slips off the top part. The second piece underneath genuinely looks like a torture mask, but Obi-Wan keeps his comments to himself. He's – he's about to see Anakin's face again for the first time in two years, and he has no idea how to feel about that.
All Obi-Wan's thoughts screech to a complete halt when she does take the last piece off, though.
He looks awful. The skin of his head is still far from recovered, layer after layer of scar covering it, but it's raw and bleeding in several places. There's no way he's not in serious pain and from the looks of it, the burns were never treated well.
So much for the "best medical treatment".
And this –
For a flash, he feels like he's back on Mustafar again, watching as Anakin's robes catch fire, and for a desperate moment, he wonders why he left him there, or didn't just end it.
"Anakin," Obi-Wan breaths, voice shaking.
This – this is what Anakin's lived with for years now. When he walked away on Mustafar, he never meant for this to happen. He's never been able to forget that moment that he'd... taken that swing. He never thought of what it would mean after, or what he'd do then, until after it had been done. And it's... It's haunted him constantly for as much as he often doesn't know what else he could've done, but this... There had to be something else.
The guilt flooding him is overwhelming, especially as Anakin's yellow eyes flick to Obi-Wan's, meeting them for the first time in two years. But there's no anger in them now. Just pain.
He doesn't even know what to say, but he has to say something. "I'm sorry, Anakin. For all of it."
Anakin looks up, tears glimmering in his eyes. It strikes Obi-Wan, in that moment, that he's still barely more than a child now. He's... only twenty-five. He doesn't much want to think of that, especially when it still doesn't change all the things he did to the Jedi, but – "I'm not your failure, Obi-Wan," he replies, voice shaking slightly.
That.... wasn't what he expected to hear. Not after the anger Vader was showing in their fight, after his furious, "I am what you made me".
"You did this?" Ahsoka demands, fury leaking into her voice, as she looks between Obi-Wan's and... what's left of Anakin. Both her and Mill look sick at the sight.
"We were fighting," Obi-Wan answers grudgingly, "I... did not intend for things to go as far as they did."
"What," she snaps, nearly jolting to her feet, "Did you do?! How could you –"
Anakin's respirator making a strange staticky noise interrupts her rant. Mill touches his arm, expression pinched. "We need to move quickly. We can... discuss this later," she urges.
Obi-Wan nods. "Very well." They'll have to. Even though he has no idea what to say.
"You'll... have to lay down," she says almost uncomfortably, circling around to crouch by his head.
Ahsoka scoots closer so he can rest partly in her lap. He seems... taken by surprise at that but doesn't protest.
Hesitantly, Mill lays her hands on either side of his head. "Does that hurt?" she asks, biting her lip.
"It is of little consequence," he assures, though his voice is growing increasingly strained.
"You'll have to... let me," she says, and Obi-Wan can feel their presences intertwining. She's trying to put him in a healing trance, and she'll have to use the Light Side. That... is probably complicated, when Anakin is still a Sith.
Obi-Wan sits back to just... wait, feeling oddly out of place and uncomfortable. He is the one who caused this. It's –
For many long moments, they just... sit there.
"Master Kenobi?" Mill asks finally, looking up.
"Yes?"
"I – Can you – I think your presence right here might be distressing him, and it's making the healing trance harder. Could you maybe... wait nearby?"
The words shouldn't sting so hard. It – he did this to him. It makes sense Anakin wouldn't be comfortable in his presence, even if it's... also unthinkable. They –
Obi-Wan nods in reluctant acquiesce, standing and heading away, circling partway around the monastery, far enough away he can still see in case he's needed, but... out of Anakin's line of sight.
The Force surges, and he can feel the way the currents are flowing through Anakin healing him.
From what Obi-Wan did to him. It doesn't much make the guilt that's drowning him feel much easier. Even if he....
He doesn't want to continue dwelling on it at all. Anakin's still the one who destroyed the Order. (That doesn't mean he should've left him like this for years. He should've finished it or just... something.)
The Force shifts again, and Qui-Gon suddenly materializes nearby again. "Master?" he asks, with no small measure of surprise, "I've... been trying to reach you for a long time."
"I know," he replies, smiling slightly, though there's something tight about his expression, "I was always there. You were just not ready to see."
He has no idea what that means. But it sounds like the usual... nonsensicalness Qui-Gon usually says. "And... I am now?"
"Here, where the division between the living and the dead is thinnest, it is easy to materialize," Qui-Gon replies, "You... have been blocking me."
Obi-Wan blinks. "How?" He's been reaching for him, all along.
"You cut yourself off from the Force," Qui-Gon replies.
He... had to, because everything had felt so cold and empty, and all he could feel was cold after Mustafar. And the only way to block it out was not to draw on the Force at all. He always thought it was because Anakin's burning presence was gone, but maybe... He doesn't even know. He no longer sees himself as a Jedi the way he once did; the Jedi are gone, even if he still believes in their way. "What should I do, Master? About Anakin?"
Qui-Gon is quiet for a long pause. "He is still the Chosen One. He will bring balance to the Force."
"How? He's a Sith. He destroyed all hope of balance." Obi-Wan can never forget watching the Jedi slaughtered at the Temple like that. It had made him really start questioning the prophecy, from the start.
"The Force works in ways we do not understand," Qui-Gon replies, "He will fulfill his destiny."
"But he's a Sith. He's part of the imbalance." And that can't change, can it?
"The Force has many ways to achieve the same end," he answers, cryptically, "But right now, you must destroy Abeloth. And he needs you."
The words leave Obi-Wan feeling even more unsettled when Qui-Gon fades out. He... it doesn't make sense to think Anakin could still balance the Force now, but Qui-Gon wouldn't have said it entirely without reason, even if he's not right. And that – Obi-Wan doesn't know what to think.
"He needs you."
That –
Obi-Wan has no idea what to think of it. Anakin's a Sith now. How could he help him? There's nothing he can do. This was Anakin's choice, even if he never expected to hear that one of the reasons that he Fell was out of fear of Padme dying. It... wasn't entirely without reason then, but that doesn't change what he did.
"There's still good in him." Padme's last words have haunted him, too, as he wonders if it's really true. And now with what Qui-Gon just said... He can't shake it from mind.
***
It's... a long time before the healing session is finally over – Obi-Wan can tell from how the Force stops fluxing so wildly, and because... his bond with Anakin suddenly feels brighter. And maybe a shade less dark, but it's hard to tell. Without being asked, Obi-Wan heads back out to the platform.
Anakin is sitting on the ground in the center of the circle, and he's... not in his armor anymore. He's wearing dark robes instead, and his skin is... healed. Mostly. Faint scars still run across Anakin's face that may still heal in time, but at least his features aren't contorted beyond recognition now.
He looks like Anakin always did, just without hair. And... his limbs are definitely still metal. But the rest of the equipment is lying on the ground next to him. Obi-Wan does not want to look any further. He doesn't want to think of how all of that was connected to and inside of him. Seeing it only makes the guilt drowning him even worse. (He wishes he could stop constantly thinking about Mustafar, wondering why did he do that, why did he hurt Anakin like that. Well, he knows why but that doesn't mean he can't desperately wish he hadn't.)
The girls are crouched on either side of Anakin, and he shakes off the slightest sting of jealousy seeing that they don't seem to have any problem interacting.
"You're... done?" Obi-Wan asks, approaching.
All heads jump to him. "Yes," Anakin replies, quietly. His voice sounds like it used to, now. Somehow, that only makes the other differences hurt even more.
Qui-Gon blinks into existence again, watching them almost... Warmly. It's strange to see. He doesn't seem upset with Anakin at all, and Obi-Wan doesn't truly understand why. He might regret what he did to him, but that – that doesn't change what happened right before then.
"Master Qui-Gon?" Anakin asks, uncertainly, "How are you... here?"
"I learned to preserve my consciousness after death. I have always been watching."
A look of understanding dawns on his face. "Is that... why I always sensed you?"
Obi-Wan frowns. "You did?"
He side-eyes him again, before slowly moving to stand. Something about the stance and way he's moving is all wrong, as though he's not accustomed to standing without added weight. Probably because it's true. "Yes."
"Perhaps in time, you can both learn this as well," continues Qui-Gon, "But right now, you have another mission."
"Abeloth, and my... children?"
"Yes. And you will yet bring balance to the Force."
He shifts, crossing his arms, practically fumbling for words. "I'm not... I do not...."
"The Force will guide you, as it always has," he promises. "Remember to trust in it. You will only be able to stop Abeloth together."
With that, he fades out again, leaving Obi-Wan remembering those words on repeat again.
"There's still good in him."
"He needs you."
Is there actually a chance that he could get Anakin back? Even if he could, it wouldn't change what's gone between them, but –
So why does he still want it so badly? Why does he still miss Anakin so fiercely, even after everything he saw?
Obi-Wan glances between them. They should probably talk before they go, if they're going to fight side by side, but he doesn't know where to start. "Can I have a word before you go?" Obi-Wan asks.
Anakin stills, turning to him. "What is it?"
"I meant... privately?"
Anakin's gaze darts between him and the other two, for a moment, looking uncertain. Obi-Wan tries to ignore the uncomfortableness twisting inside of him. He can guess what Anakin is expecting.
"We can go ahead," the Togruta offers, "If you're fine with it."
He nods, jerkily. "Go."
Mill and Ahsoka linger a moment longer, eyeing him, before they move to go. "We'll start tracking her on the ship," Mill says.
"What?" Anakin asks, shifting. He's obviously uncomfortable.
And suddenly, Obi-Wan has no idea what he was going to say. But he wants to know – "When Abeloth attacked us before," he begins, "Was it you who... rescued me?"
His hands clench, and he shifts, looking away. He looks nothing like the Sith Lord he did moments ago, or even on Mustafar. (He looks broken, like a child. Obi-Wan doesn't know how to sort through what it's making him feel. He – maybe he does want to help him, but he doesn't know how. It's not like people can come back from the Dark Side.) "Yes."
"Why? You were going to kill me twice now." He can't say why he's asking.
Emotions flit across Anakin's face, too fast to read, but it finally settles on anger. "I never wanted you dead," he retaliates, sharply.
"It didn't seem that way on Mustafar."
Anakin glares at him. "You came there to kill me," he hisses, "I told you to leave. I wanted you to leave. I am not the one who wanted to fight."
"After what you did, what were you expecting?" Obi-Wan wishes he could stop thinking about that way, of how wrong he went there. It's easier to – to think there was a reason, but seeing how it hurt Anakin...
The hurt that flashes across his face is almost unexpected. He looks very close to throwing something, though – Obi-Wan's fairly certain he would have, if anything were within reach.
"I am well aware I deserved it," he yells, but he sounds closer to tears than angry for a second. The words catch Obi-Wan by surprise. Of all things he expected Anakin to say about Mustafar, it wasn't... this. He – "But I do not understand why you did not just finish it. If this is all you have to say, I believe we have more crucial matters to be attending to." He looks short of storming out.
"It's not. Wait," Obi-Wan objects.
Anakin stops, glaring at him, even if the distinct sheen of tears in his eyes ruins the effect.
The knot of uncomfortableness inside of him only grows. "I meant what I said before," he forces himself to say, "I – I regret what I did to you there."
"Then why didn't you finish it?" There's the slightest vulnerable note to his voice.
Obi-Wan hesitates, considering his answer. It makes him feel exposed to say, and he doesn't like it. Just because he'll never stop missing Anakin, just because he still cares about him even when he shouldn't, doesn't mean he can trust him. Anakin did save his life, though, despite everything that's gone between them. And he can't deny gratitude for that. If he still wanted to kill him, he... would have. Right? That could probably change, but... "I couldn't. I – I knew what my mission was, but I didn't want to see you dead."
"And that – that –" he makes a strangled noise, momentary looking away. "– Was better?"
"No. I would have made any other choice now if I could, but it – it's the past now."
Anakin is quiet, for a long pause. "So, what now?" he asks, tiredly and bitterly at once, "You – are you going to kill me?"
His heart clenches at the words. Of course, it makes sense he'd ask that. Obi-Wan just didn't expect him to be so blunt about it.
He's been wondering that all along, but he never expected to be asked, not when he doesn't know the answer. (But he already knows he couldn't. Especially not now.) "No," he answers, finally. If he's going to back to Sidious... Maybe there's another way Obi-Wan can stop him. "But we should find your children."
Anakin eyes for a long, unreadable moment before nodding, turning to head for the ship.
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