"Just like a wrecking ball
I'm coming in
Just call me Miley Cyrus"
🫧🫧🫧
The more I thought about it on the way here, the more I realized he lied. He didn't mistake a girl for me. Star said he told the girl he would never leave her again. He said he didn't receive my calls when I called him that night, so how would he have mistook me for another girl?
I might not be making sense, but I know he lied. And Star isn't helping by still ignoring me.
"You're sighing." Xavier's voice snapped me out of it.
"Sorry."
"You shouldn't be. Nervous?"
"No. I just realized Jason was lying. He said he mistook another girl for me but he also said that night that he didn't receive my calls because he was grocery shopping."
"Well we're on our way to meet him so he'll explain more."
"But..."
Do I want to hear more?
He gave me a curious glance before looking back at the road. But realizing I won't say anything, he thankfully didn't push further. The cafe we were meant to meet Jason came into view, increasing my nerves and making me overthink everything.
After parking, Xavier placed a hand over mine that I didn't realize I had balled up.
"Butterfly, what are you so nervous about?"
I swallowed, not answering for a while and making sure to avoid his gaze.
"What he might say. What he might not say."
"I'll be with you ok? He just wants to be friends."
"But what if he just wants to make sure we're all good so he can go on dating that girl with no guilty conscience."
"You forget about them cause we're dating now."
I looked into his eyes, finding so much sincerity I them as I nodded slowly. He smiled, before leaning down to kiss me. It was assuring, sweet, and sadly, short.But it was enough to calm me down because as we entered, I could feel my nerves dissapearing instead of increasing. But when I made eye contact with Jason's piercing pure black eyes, I could feel them building up again.
I tugged at Xavier's arm, which I was holding as we entered.
"What am I supposed to ask?! What if I don't want to hear what he has to say?..."
"It's not really about what you want to hear, it's what you need to hear."
"What if it hurts or- or if it ends up being a waste of time? Or-"
"Butterfly." He interrupted, staring down at me with so much amusement. He's enjoying this.
"You're no help! You're enjoying misery!"
"Of course not!"
He chuckled. I narrowed my eyes at him.
Then he leaned down and pressed lips on my forehead. The fact that we were in the middle of the cafe and Jasons gaze was still on us, made me blush. So I hit him. And he chuckled again.
"L-Let's just get this over with." I muttered, turning away from him and reluctantly walking towards Jason.
Reluctantly, I sat down, reluctantly, I looked at Jason expectedly. Reluctantly, I spoke.
"Um...hey Jason.."
"Hey...."
Well, this is definitely not how he normally approaches me.
"As Xavier told you, I just wanted to make sure there's no hate between us. Because, I hate the idea of you hating me, or not wanting to have anything to do with me. We can't just go from lovers to haters, right?"
Yes. Yes, we can.
"Jason...I just wants answers before anything can be cleared out." I paused, getting myself ready to say what I really didn't want to say. Because I knew he would say something I really don't want to hear.
"Yeah... anything but can Xavier leave? No offense bro."
I almost chuckled at the way he looked back at Jason. It was like he was challenging him or something. Then he looked towards me and his gaze softened immediately as they silently asked for my opinion.
I didn't want Xavier to leave, but if he's here then Jason might hold back. And I want to hear everything, no matter how much it might hurt.
"Wait for me, ok? I'll survive." I mumbled.
He leaned in, and spoke in a low voice so only I could hear.
"But- what if he tries to kiss you again?!"
"What?! You know I won't kiss him Xavier."
"I know but...what if...I..."
"Xavier."
"...Fine. I'll be in the car."
He mumbled before getting up, glaring at Jason one last time before leaving. I took one breath, readying myself.
"You lied." I tried to keep my voice calm and apathetic. I think I did a pretty good job. "You didn't mistake a girl for me, did you?"
He looked a bit surprised with my question, but quickly regained his composure.
"You want to hear the truth?" He sighed. "I'm sorry, Amy, I should've told you that...I liked someone else before we started dating." He looked away from me as he spoke. Knowing it was wrong.
I knew this would hurt. I knew whatever he was going to say now would get me overthinking every single thing we did. Our first date, our kisses... Oh my gosh I was a distraction wasn't I?
"But at first it was meaningless. Just a simple crush and I liked you more than I did her, but for some reason everytime I saw her... So I decided to avoid her. It was going well till we were six months in to our relationship. She was assigned as my lab partner and we had to work together on our project alone after school and at my home..."
The images flashing in my head...
"When did you start dating?"
"A month before our anniversary month-"
"A month before we broke up, you mean."
"Yeah. I know it was stupid but then...I like the both of you and I didn't know who to choose so I thought, I can have the both of you. So I did. I realize now how stupid that was-"
"You're lieing Jason. Just shutup. I was just some kind of rebound. That girl, her name is Jane right? Your ex. You still liked your ex but you started dating me?"
"No I- didn't mean to hurt you. I still liked you."
"Where's your new girlfriend huh? Does she know your here?"
"No...she isn't my girlfriend."
"You messed up with her too."
"She- I-"
"Jason. I hate you."
The words just spilled out from my mouth, and once it was said, I didn't once want to take it back. I was proud of myself for how I said it, like I didn't care that I was nothing. That we were nothing. But I did. It hurt and it affected me. And I hated it.
Something unreadable flashed in his eyes, but was quickly hidden.
"I deserve it. But please just give me a chance to-"
"You just used me. For my popularity, for a rebound, we were nothing."
"We weren't-"
"You really wasted money on that hot air balloon since it meant nothing to you."
"It did-"
"We are done. No friendship, no kind of relationship."
"Listen to me Amy. You are not a rebound, I actually still love you but I was drunk that time. But I haven't explain that part yet, and I think you need to hear it. Please, just hear me out."
"...Say it quick." I muttered. For some sick reason, I wanted to hear it. Am I some kind of sadist now?
"It was Star."
"What was Star?"
"It was Star, she...kissed me at the bar."
.........
I laughed. I laughed in his face.
Star kissed him? Joke of the year!
But he wasn't laughing. He looked annoyed. Which made my laughter die down.
"You're joking."
"No. No I'm not. That's how she knew. That's why she's ignoring you. Because you probably brought it up to her and she's regretting it-"
"You're speaking nonsense! Don't accuse my best friend and drag her into your mess!"
My throat felt dry all of a sudden. I didn't believe him, but he made some kind of sense.
No. I'm crazy. He is lieing.
"I'm not, Amy. Believe me."
"How should I?! When our whole relationship was a lie, when you're telling me that Star that brought us together kissed you and caused our break up... I-it can't be that she kissed you. If anything, you kissed her."
"Our relationship wasn't a lie. Don't say that."
My eyes widened when I noticed his voice cracking.
"Jace." I surprised myself by calling him by the nickname I gave him when we were dating. Again, my heart speaking. "Tell me you're lieing."
"Im sorry but I'm not. I'm not lieing when I say Star kissed me. I'm not lieing when I say I regret Jane. I'm not lieing when I say I still love you. Don't hate more for asking but do you..still love me?"
I stared back at him. I was feeling a lot of things at the moment. I didn't want to believe him but...he sounded so sincere.
He sounded so sincere when he said he loved you.
I was speechless. I'm pretty sure my eyes were wide. I couldn't think. My eyes stung. My throat felt dry...
I needed to leave.
Taking deep breaths didn't help, so I simply took my stuff and stood up to leave. But the hurt Jason couldn't hide anymore crushed me.
I knew it was too late for us, but I still felt like hugging him. I felt like pulling him back home myself that night so Star wouldn't kiss him.
I just wish none of this happened and we were still happily dating.
But somewhere at the back of my mind told me I would take it all back once I see Xavier.
"I need to leave." I whispered, before leaving.
True to his words, Xavier was leaning on his car, busy with his phone. But once I left the cafe, he looked up and seeing my expression, immediately got concerned.
"What's wrong? I knew I shouldn't have left. What the heck did he do?" Should I go in?" He immediately rushed over to me, cupping my cheeks with his palms and stroking them softly.
It was comforting.
But only for a second.
In the heat of the moment, I pushed his hands away and walked away. Not towards the car. I really didn't like myself for pushing him away like that.
I could hear his footsteps following me in silence. Abandoning his car.
"You're car." I pointed out in a voice barely above a whisper.
"I can get that later." He said nonchalantly.
My heart warmed up, despite my current feelings.
To be honest, I didn't know where I was walking to. I was just walking. Till I got tired and ended up near a playground. In silence, I sat on the swing and began pushing myself back and forth a little, feeling a lot better.
"Star kissed him." I said, feeling more waves of emotions.
"What?"
"He said Star kissed him. That's why she's been acting weird. That's why she felt guilty when I brought it up. My best friend kissed my boyfriend, who's now my ex."
I glances at him, somehow feeling at ease as he looked back at him. Then he stood up, stretched out his hands, and I wasted no time in walking into them. The hug comforted me, but at the same time made me cry. Once I felt the tears, I pulled away.
"S-sorry. I'll stain your shirt..."
He squinted his eyes at me, before pulling me back to his chest.
"Do I look like I care?"
The dam broke, and at that point it was free fall. I sobbed. I cried. I let it all go finally. I always thought this moment would be with Star. I never knew I would be crying because of her.
I feel betrayed. She was the one that got us together, helped with date planning, she was always there when he had our arguments and brought us back together. So why would she do that?!
She wasn't drunk...she was sober and she kissed Jason. My boyfriend at the time.
We stayed like that for a long while after I was done crying, and by the time I was ready to go back home it was dark out. I pulled away from him, a bit embarrassed he had to see me like that.
Before I could completely turn away, he gently held my arm and pulled me closer. And as always, I was held in place with his eyes.
I'm starting to think he knows this.
"Are you better?" He slowly asked, his voice just a little above a whisper. I simply nodded, before he pressed his lips on my nose.
I. Could. Melt.
"Thank you, Xavier."
"It's nothing Butterfly. I'll always be here for you. Don't you forget that."
I managed to smile as he stroked my cheek. And corner of my lips...
As much as I wanted to kiss him too, it was getting late.
"Xavier, I'm tired. We should go home."
He suddenly got nervous, which widened my smile as I wondered why on earth he might suddenly become nervous.
"I know it's random and kind of crazy but...can you, um, sleep over at my house?" He rushed out the last part, looking away. I giggled.
"What of your parents? And-"
"We have a guest room and Chris wouldn't really care and Lila is having a sleepover with her friends too and my parents aren't around-"
"Sure."
"Really?"
"Yeah why not. But I'm staying in that guest room." He grinned widely at me, and I suddenly knew I made the right decision.
"Really?"
I laughed. "Yeah I'll tell my brother I'm sleeping over with a friend."
"A friend." He drew out suggestively with a smirk. I blushed and pushed him away.
"Shutup."
"Now, to get to my car."
"Oh...I'm sorry you had to leave it 'cause of me."
"Trust me, it was totally worth it Butterfly. You're more important."
"But I don't know my way back."
He walked past me, holding my hand and lacing them together as he passed me.
"I do."
Heyyyyyy
I don't know how to spell lieing. Or lying. If anyone knows which is correct please tell me and pardon my spelling....
🌚🌚🌚