The first rays of the sun hit my eyes. I groaned under my breath and opened my eyes, unwillingly. I jumped off the roof and stretched my arms which were locked, thanks to me for sleeping on the roof the whole night.
Walking towards the edge, a genuine smile played on my lips. Even my heart doesn't remember the last time it enthralled with joy. The scenic beauty right in front left me astounded.
The slight rays of the sun are peeping from between the hills, it felt warm, soft and not troubling the eyes much. The plants, trees, flowers danced with joy feeling the energy of the new bright morning.
The morning dew tickled the petals softly, the fragrance felt soothing to the nostrils. The birds chirped happily and I closed my eyes in subtle peace as the cold breeze touched my face, the wind teared apart from my hair and passed through.
While everyday passes amidst the same hectic and tiring stuff, such a scenic beauty on the onset of the day felt as a stressbuster.
The affinity and the warmth of the rays, the cool breeze passing through, the mild waves of the greens, the soft odour of the morning due felt true to the heart, amidst the fakeness of the outside world.
Time flew and I just stood there, statued, with closed eyes, feeling the lively vault of heaven.
I scrunched my brows, as I felt the heat rising on my upper eyelid. I opened my eyes, finding the sun rising to the sky with the beauty of the surroundings inferior under the intense heat of the sunburst.
Alone time has been the best thing happening to me after her, but realising there are more people who care, and it been already late, I turned my heel towards my car again, not before gaping at the cliff below for few moments.
I shut the the door behind me back, pulled the seatbelt across my chest and pushed the key into the keyhole, and before igniting, I got hold of my phone to check for any kind of a emergency, only to find 15 missed calls from Viraj and 13 from Kavya. The messages were uncountable.
It was no new for me. Every time I would run somewhere for my me time, not having the basic courtesy to make a call, I would never realise the passing time and making my love ones worried the hell out of their minds. While they spend their nights sleepless, I would find myself finding ways to woo them the next morning.
I dialled Viraj's number, in the hope that he would answer.
The person you are calling is not answering, please try again la.....
As expected. I declined the call and tried Kavya's, but the same response. I sighed deep and threw the phone on the passenger seat. While the lady behind the call muttered these words, I could hear other additional phrases too.
The person you are calling is huffing with anger, please handle with care.
On one hand where the whole world is scared of my attitude and anger, Viraj and Kavya have been the ones who dares to keep me under their palm. A few missed calls from them and I am into a huge trouble.
I grabbed my phone again and opened our WhatsApp group, 3 Musketeers.
It's all good guys. I just ran to my usual spot, just didn't realise when I dozed off on the roof. The phone was car and the rings didn't reach me. So damn sorry. Just on my way home! Oh and yes, please don't forget to grab some ice pack from the freezer and cool your flaming heads, else don't blame me later for cooking my eggs on them.
I muttered against the speaker of my phone and pressed send. It's always fun to tease them. Both saw the message immediately but no reply. I chuckled under my breath. No matter how much furious they are, I always find ways to see the worriedness behind their anger.
Igniting my car's engine, I zoomed away from the cliff and started my journey towards my mansion. After driving for nearly half an hour, my applied the breaks, when my eyes fell on one of my favorite spots, Chai ki tapri.
The chai ki tapri has been running for past 40 years by the same uncle. His tea always feels like heaven. It's been ages I have visited him. I got off my car and marche towards him.
'How are you kaka?', I asked softly and a busy kaka looked up. His expressions reflected surprise.
'Avyaansh beta! You forgot me after Radhika left, didn't you?', kaka muttered with eyes pooled with tears.
The mention of her always wets my eyes. I blinked several times to hide my tears and passed a fake smile.
'It's not like that, uncle. After Radhika left, my responsibilities have increased a bit. I don't get time in such a busy life.', I whispered and he chuckled.
'This is what everyone's life has become, son. Everyone is busy in the race of life. Everyone has to come first. But in this race everyone forgets to see the real beauty of life. These are the benefits that life has to offer, these are the real happiness that are there in the life of such a few people. In his last moments, he does not remember this office and business, he remembers the friend who gave us the happiness of keeping us safe from all the stress of the world. There is no time available son, time has to be taken out from the busy schedule.', my heart fluttered with his golden words.
'Wow uncle. You have expressed the reality of life in just a few words. Lovely.', I muttered and he smiled.
'Tea?', he asked while finding his way behind his tapri again.
'Of course. That's what I have come for.', I said and he laughed.
'Oh! That means you have only come to drink tea, not to meet me, huh?', he teased me.
'Uncle, tea is just an excuse, the real aim is to meet you.', I tried covering up my blunder.
'Ha ha, now that you have been caught, are you making excuses?', he teased me again, while continuing to make his special tea.
'Are nahi kaka, kya aap bhi.', I was embarrassed and he laughed his heart out.
Pouring the tea into a cup, he carried it to me. I sipped once and closed my eyes, tasting the heaven after long.
'Ahh satisfactory!', I appreciated and a wide smile spread across his face.
'Can I say something, if you don't you mind?', he asked while sitting beside me.
'No no uncle, tell me.', I replied.
'When Radhika, came with you here for the first time, a impression of you was created in my mind after seeing you. Those dark glasses on the eyes, those suit pants that have been ironed a little, the gelled up hair, the big car. At first glance, I thought that you too must be hot-tempered like a those big important people, who are always ruthless, who walk with their noses held high, considers low class people as the mud of your shoes. But when I talked to you for the first time, I cursed myself for thinking of a person like you., he explained slowly while I listened to him patience.
A sad smile played on my lips.
'Uncle, whenever I have come here, you have always treated me like a son. I will not lie to you. There was a time when I was exactly as you said. But everything changed with the arrival of Radhika. She came into my life like an angel. She has changed everything so much that now when I look back at the pages of my life, I cannot believe that I was this bad., I whispered to myself, guiltily.
'Beta subah ka bhula agar shaam ko ghar aaye na toh use bhula nahi kehte.', he said lovingly while caressing my hair and I smiled towards him.
I found a mysterious smile on his face which was trying to say something, but was unable to reach me.
'What happened uncle? Why are you looking at me like that?', I finally asked, giving up on reading his expressions.
'Son, I was just noticing the changes in your language. Initially, you wouldn't stop showering english, and now you speak Hindi fluently. Wow!'
'All thanks to Radhika. This is the good effects of her companionship.'
'Right!', he replied while I enjoyed the last sip of my chai.
'Uncle. the tea was delish. But now it is too late. I have to leave, everyone will be waiting at home.'
'Okay son. But keep visiting'
'Of course!'
I slipped out my wallet from my back pocket and before I could open it, I found Kaka's hand gripping mine.
'What do you think you are doing son?'
'Paying for the tea, uncle!'
'Radhika was my daughter to me Avyaansh, and you are my son-in-law. She has done a lot for me, she's no more in the world, you are the way I can repay her favors.'
'Why are you talking like the people of a TV serial? Come back to real life. And you said that Radhika was your daughter, so how did your daughter's help become a favor? This is your hard earned and you cannot deny that!'
And before he could argue, I handed him his hard earned money.
'S0 headstrong you are!'
'Just like your Radhika.', I muttered and he nodded.
Bidding his bye, I zoomed away in car from there. After driving from about 45 minutes, I entered into a lavish gate which made a path to a huge fountainhead and further had a lush gigantic mansion, whose luxurious interior could be well predicted by its gorgeous exteriors.
I crossed the fountain and heard straight to the parking lot which had a 'N' number of luxury cars, which included Porsche, Lambhergini, Rolls Royce, Jaguar and my the one who has my heart, my Aston Martin.
Viraj and I have always had a crazy obsessions for cars. Many a times, we would find us busy all day long for the maintenance and cleanliness of our cars, even though we had a big staff do the stuff.
We won't tolerate a scratch on our babies, a injury to them and the next day we would be ready for someone's funeral. Knowing our obsession for cars, even Kavya and Radhika used maintain a good distance with them.
Parking my car carefully in there, I rushed into the mansion, to find the hall empty.
Avyaansh baba.
I heard a voice and turned around to find Bharat kaka, our oldest house help.
He has been working in the mansion for past 30 years, even before my birth. He has been the most trustworthy staff of the mansion. He has nearly become the 8th member of our family.
I have always found a father figure in him. While my biological father never had time for me, it was Bharat kaka who has been a parent to me.
'You didn't return the whole night. Everything is fine, right?', he asked with a concern filled voice.
'Yes uncle, don't worry. Everything is fine. Was just stuck in some work. Where is everyone?'
'Adhiraj sahab and Abhay sahab are in the study. Damini Mem Sahab's health is low, so she is resting in her room and Anuradha mam is in the kitchen.'
Everything was ok! But what was it with the last line? Chachi in kitchen? I guess I need to to check in the morning the sun's direction to rise. How come my bossy chachi found her way to her kitchen out of the blue.
'Chachi in kitchen? Has the sun rose in the west this morning?', I muttered under my breath.
'Oh you forgot! Every year Anuradha mam prepares Viraj's favorite Gulab Jamun for his birthday. She has been busy making it since the morning.', he said casually.
Fuck! It was Viraj's birthday today! How did is slip out? A wave of guilt crossed my heart. Every year without a fail, he would receive a surprise from me on midnight. Words never escape, but his heart narrates a lot.
With each passing year, his hopes of feeling more special every year raises more and more. He never wanted or never asked for gifts like Limo, a strong cologne from Chanel or a Rolex watch worth lakhs. All he needed was his siblings and some happy moments together.
My heart still flutters remembering his 15th birthday, while I was down with fever, I managed to pull out of the bed and prepare Parle - G and jam sandwich for him. Barely any effort and still he jumped on me, pulling me into a bone crushing hug, as if he received the prized possession of the century.
Viraj has always known his brother to be the man who will be there for him on his birthday, no matter how much busy he is. He would definitely have an idea, that for the first time in his 25 years of life, his brother forgot his birthday.
I have to make it up to him, no matter what.
I rushed to the kitchen and found my chachi busy in preparing his favorite Gulab Jamun. I paid no heed to her and I immediately pulled out cottage cheese from the fridge, few appetizing and peppery spices, and a couple of bread slices.
I glanced up at the wall clock which showed five minutes past 8. I quickly grinded the paneer finely, assorted them properly with the spices and spread it properly on two slices of bread. Covering them with another plain slices, I cooked them thoroughly on the pan which later vaporised a truly appetizing aroma. As it's done, I pulled out Parle - G and jam and quickly prepared few sandwiches.
Setting them all on a plate, I yet again glanced at the clock with showed 8.26.
Just 20 minutes. Well done Avyaansh.
I picked the plate and rushed outside while my chachi kept gazing my actions.
'Where are Viraj and Kavya?', I asked Bharat kaka who was going by.
'Both are in Kavya's room.', he answered and without giving him a chance to speak more, I ran to Kavya's room.
I opened the door slowly, not to create any kind of a sound. I peeped into the room and found Kavya sprawling on the bed while turning pages of a beauty magazine and Viraj was seated in the balcony, sipping his morning tea.
I moved into the room and walked to Viraj with stifled steps, without coming into their notice. Reaching behind him, I bent and planted a soft peck on his temples, he was startled feeling the sudden touch and turned to me.
Happy birthday brother.
I muttered slowly but he just stared me with blank eyes. I moved forward and placed the plate in front of him, I could clearly find the twinkle of joy in his eyes, he wanted to smile seeing my little efforts, but he didn't. Maybe his anger overpowered his happiness.
I went on my knees beside him and he tried his next to not look at me.
'Veera, sorry na.', I exclaimed, but still no response.
I could feel Kavya gazing us with the corner of her eyes, I turned to her and she immediately averted her gaze. I walked to her and sat beside her.
'Kavi, at least you forgive me, please.', but she was no less. She didn't even give me a look.
'Guys, I know my fault and Viraj, you have two reasons to be so angry. But please don't remain silent like this.', I pleaded them.
'That's not the issue, bhai.I knew you will make it up to me soon. The problem is you don't care for our feeling.s', I heard Viraj muttering and felt guilty.
'I do yaar Viraj. You two are the one's I call call my own, I truly care.', I whispered, trying hard to keep my voice stable, controlling my tears, by great difficulties.
'Yeah right.', I could cleary sense the sarcasm behind her comment.
'Kavi, truly yaar. It does matter to me if are angry or upset. Truly. I swearr yaar.'
She rested her eyes for few moments before throwing her magazine on the bed and glaring me with red teary eyes. Her wet eyes were the last thing I would like to see.
'You don't bhai. All these are just hollow words. All you care is your worries, your problems, your pain, your miseries, and we are always the last ones on this list. You don't care bhai! If you did, you wouldn't run every few days. And after that you neither call nor pick up the call. It's just you, you and you.', Kavya outbursted, leaving me teary eyes.
But seems like my tears didn't affect her today. Viraj lurched towards her hearing her harsh words.
'Let it go, Kavi.', he mumbled, but she was in no mood to listen.
'Every time we let it go bhai. But how long do we keep it in our heart? It might sound harsh and rude, right? But it's the ultimate truth. You are free to go wherever you want to, we are no one to stop you. But how long does it take to leave a message? And that's not a one time story bhai, it is a routine for you now. You just run away whenever you feel like, me and Viraj stay up all night long, calling you, messaging you, but you don't care to answer a single one. And next day you woo us with your ways and like always, we fall for your lollipops. Believe it or not bhai, you have always took us for granted.', Kavya felt on the bed and face palmed herself, bursting into tears.
I was numb. I rushed back to me room, but they didn't call to stop.
Banging the door behind, I fell on the bed. Tears refused to stop. My face felt warm and the rears rolled in all direction possible. Grabbing a pillow, I buried my face into it, clearly not wanting my sobs to step out of the room.
Kavya was right. I didn't realise when I went this selfish and didn't care for their worries, their feelings, their love. Reminiscing the past days, I could sense all the syllables of her hers falling into place. I have always been so nonchalant for their worries. Never did I care about them.
The smiles of my life has always been the beautiful lies. The night I spend under the blanket of the constellations, the morning glory, the hearty light moments at the chai ki tapri. The happiness was a lie. The ultimate truth is sadness, pain, guilt, cries, miseries. That's the reality.
Damsel in distress has always been something I have heard for the women laying into the pool of sadness, miseries, pain. But never have I never got hold of something which can describe it for a man. Maybe because it's a fact that has always been considered as a myth?
Oh right. That's our flex. To successfully stay smiling, while the heart is bleeding with sobs. I have always been tough on people, turning boorish, just a way trying to hide my inner self. The more closer I feel, the more and more feeble I turn.
Losing my breath, I threw the pillow aside, and jerked up, feeling uneasy all of a sudden. I crumbled the bedsheets under my palm, trying to hold me breath steady. I could feel my arms, feet, my muscles, trembling, shaking.
I grabbed my chest, my palm could comprehensibly feel the heart pounding, with the speed of that of a bullet train. A trail of sweat strolled down my sideburn. My eyelids pressed tightly to the low eye and my muscles tensed.
It was here again.
I tried deep breathing, trying to control my restlessness. I rubbed my palms together which felt sweaty. I ran to my wardrobe and pulled out Radhika's picture. I caressed it with my trembling fingers until my fingers reach to a water drop, my sweat precisely. I immediately wiped it off away from her pretty picture.
'You see Radhika. You left and this mess returned. You were right, yeh sab na darte the tumse, tabhi toh dekho na tum gayi aur yeh wapas aa gaye. Tumhare saamne aane ki himmat kaha thi inki.', I whispered humorously, words barely escaped my lips. I tried to laugh, but couldn't.
(You see Radhika. You left and this mess returned. You were right. They didn't dare to come in front of you)
I grabbed my neck and massaged it and my chest, trying to relax. But it was a failure. Everything just worsened. The trembling just increased. The sweating didn't budge. The high pulse didn't want to slow down.
Radhika's face in front of my eyes slowly started blurring out. I grabbed my head and rushed to the side table to grab a glass of water. But I couldn't reach. My legs and arms trembled. I tried to hold her picture securely, but couldn't and it slipped out of my hand, shattering hundreds of pieces of the glass. My knees gave up too, and I felt on my back, facing the ceiling.
Blackness surrounded my eyes. I could hear Kavya screaming my name, before everything passed out.
*****
Date - 03/09/2023
Word Count - 3663
VOTE! COMMENT!
Love Y'all 🦋💫