warnings - implied sexual content
The morning light stung Hyunjin's eyes as he drearily slugged his way to the bathroom, silently cursing himself for choosing a kdrama over sleep despite knowing how full his schedule is today.
An unusual silence blankets his surroundings as he wonders where his roommates are. They're normally creating a raucous in the kitchenette but there is no sign of life by the sounds of it.
That's quickly proven wrong when his favourite person enters their shared bathroom - a sleepy squirrel. The sight of Jisung causes a cheesy smile to break out, taking up half of his face.
"Good morning jagi".
The boy only stares at him before humming in acknowledgement.
His smile drops.
The lack of endearment strikes a nerve. He doesn't want to be dramatic and assume the worst, so he originally puts it down to Jisung feeling tired with all the late nights they have had recently.
But now Friday has arrived and there is still no sign of affection.
He watches Jisung through the mirror as the boy silently brushes his teeth beside him, eyes trained down to stare hard at the dried toothpaste on the sink.
The silence wouldn't have been so unsettling if it wasn't for the fact that he was dealing with loud-mouthed cheerleader Han Jisung.
He continues to stare in puzzlement, waiting for his routinely greeting hug that he is bound to receive from the younger. So when that doesn't happen, and Jisung leaves to his own room. He can't stop himself from mulling over everything he could have possibly done wrong in the past few days to deserve such coldness.
It was stressing him out, giving him vivid flashbacks to pre-debut them and how ugly it was. He wanted to avoid a repeat of their rivalry at all costs, except it was different this time. They were older and more mature now, but most importantly, they are friends. Best friends, best friends on their way to becoming more?
Or they were...
It doesn't get much better from there.
Jisung doesn't talk to him more than necessary during their dance practices and recordings and he swears that Jisung moves further away everytime he attempts to scoot closer during their group interviews.
But his detached behaviour isn't confirmed until later that night when they are back in their bathroom again.
He idly makes his way in after Jisung. Tired and sore from the day.
Jisung has just finished wiping his mouth when Hyunjin ceases his opportunity and closes the distance between them.
Burying his face in the nape of his neck; eyes closed and reveling in the warmth.
He hears Jisung sigh in what seems like fatigue before he eventually brings a hand up to run through Hyunjin's hair and Hyunjin has to fight the urge to purr. This was the most warmth he had encountered from Jisung in the past five days.
Jisung grants him only a few more seconds before he's being pushed away while Jisung leaves without bidding him goodnight.
And Hyunjin wants to scream.
It continues to go on like this for three more days where it's all ice cold treatment with glimpses of tenderness, making poor Hyunjin even more confused.
Like after their intense musicbank rehearsal. Hyunjin was left heaving, a pain in his chest caused by the rapping of his heart. He sat in the corner with his eyes closed and his hand over his chest, willing it to slow down.
He senses a shadow in front of him and startles before calming down when he sees Jisung with a water bottle being extended out to him. He takes it with zero hesitation and glugs it down.
"Thanks," he muttered hurriedly.
A shrug is all he got in return.
Or during their vlive when Hyunjin had a wardrobe malfunction and Jisung sat between his legs to cover his exposed crotch, leaning against him snuggly yet not giving him a smither of attention.
Or even right now. Hyunjin is standing at the end of Jisung's bed, wrapped in a blanket with sleepy eyes and a heavy heart after being awoken by such a ghastly nightmare.
"Can I sleep here tonight?" He asks with a pout, it's his secret weapon that he knows Jisung is weak for.
"Why can't you ask Channie or Binnie hyung?" He questions with annoyance in his tone and Hyunjin only pouts more, eyes filling with tears too.
He didn't want to go to Chan or Changbin. He wanted Jisung but Jisung didn't want him and after all the bitterness he'd been reaping, he was beginning to crumble so if that made him a crybaby then so be it.
At the sight of his tears, Jisung huffed but revealed an empty spot between himself and the wall, letting Hyunjin cutely shuffle over and climb in.
Once he has settled in, he waits to be enveloped in Jisung's arms and lulled to sleep, yet the younger just turns the other way and Hyunjin is flabbergasted because Jisung has never denied him cuddles or gone to sleep without asking him if something happened no matter how tired or angry he was.
His outrage quickly fizzles into hurt and pressure builds behind his eyes; pushing and pushing until...
"Are you crying?"
Hyunjin sniffles before swallowing his tears harshly, yet his hiccups give him away.
Jisung turns back to him.
"Hyunjin?"
The sound of his name breaks something and the tears come full force - a mixture of confusion and frustration.
"Did I do something?' He chokes out in a whisper.
Jisung doesn't answer him, only engulfs him, letting Hyunjin sob into his chest while blubbering incomprehensible nonsense.
"I'm sorry," he cries harder, pulling away slightly to make eye contact with him.
"I don't like it when you're cold to me." He confesses like he's telling his deepest darkest secret.
A pause.
Surprise colours Jisung's features before melting into an expression of indifference. He doesn't speak, clearly mulling over something in his head.
Hyunjin is drifting off when Jisung finally speaks.
"I didn't think you'd care."
That sentence alone feels like a stab because he was always so sure that Jisung knew how much Hyunjin was aware of him, thought that no matter what anyone said about their relationship that Jisung knew that he loved and cared for him.
He supposes not.
He pulls the boy into his arms this time round, eliminating any physical distance.
"How could you think that?"
He asks this in exasperation because seriously, how could he think that? He knows that sometimes he teases Jisung or won't pay attention to his shenanigans at times, but he still cared.
Couldn't Jisung see it in the way he always laughs at his jests despite most of them being insanely dumb? Or how he indulges him in his anime spiels no matter how exhausted he is? Or even how visibly concerned he becomes whenever Jisung isn't feeling 100 percent? Don't forget the fact that he had spent quite a bit of time going down on the man to show said appreciation.
Gosh, it had been way too long since he'd last had Jisung's cock in his mouth or ass. The thought of it makes his dick twitch but quickly shakes off his horny thoughts in order to deal with more important matters.
Either way, Hyunjin was certain that he had expressed just how dear Jisung was to him, always mentioning him in the most intimate interview questions. "Who makes you smile the most?" - "Hannie." - "Who appears in your journal frequently?" - "Jisungie." - the point is, Jisung is found in every corner of Hyunjin's best moments and here he was admitting to thinking Hyunjin didn't care for him.
"I care for you." He whispers against the crown of the youngers' head, but Jisung only huffs a disbelieving laugh before turning away from him once again. "Yeah, yeah. Goodnight."
Irritation builds in Hyunjin's veins at the dismissal. Now Jisung was just being ridiculous, here he is trying to make things right over something he was still rather unsure about and was being brushed off like he had been all week. And he's just had about enough of it.
He gathers his comforter around him and makes to stand. If Jisung was still going to act like this, then Hyunjin was better off staying in his own room.
He only makes it to the end of the bed before a messy haired Jisung pops up, sitting up with a perplexed look that he has no right to be sporting. "What are you doing?" He asks with a sigh.
Usually the sound of defeat in the others voice is enough for Hyunjin to turn back around, but not right now. This time he continues on and ignores Jisung's comments - "what about your nightmare?" Is the last thing he hears before his door slams shut behind him.
He dives face first into his bed, curling into the fetal position, facing the opposite wall with self pity heavy in his heart.
A knock interrupts his "woe is me" party and assuming that it's Chan who probably heard the door slam, he mutters a "come in". The door swings open with an ugly squeak and he prepares himself for a telling off that never comes.
He's confused but still doesn't turn around.
His blanket is then ripped away from him, making him curl into himself even more as the cold air meets his exposed skin.
A sigh echoes through the room before he feels a smaller figure climb in next to him and cover the both of them with the covers that were stolen seconds before.
At this point he knows that this isn't Chan, but that is further confirmed when lithe arms wrap around his waist and a face is buried in the crook of his neck.
Hyunjin frowns at the intrusion and refuses to give into the warmth by staying as tense as possible. But it seems that the intruder takes that as a challenge as Hyunjin feels a hand slip beneath the hem of his sleep shirt, finding home on his abdomen and caressing gently - Hyunjin keeps his resolve strong.
"Come on baby," the voice murmurs, lips brushing the shell of his ear, proceeding to travel down where he feels butterfly kisses press against the column of his neck.
The gesture makes his stomach swoop pleasantly and his ears turn a bright red at the realization that the hand on his stomach was moving closer and closer towards the bulge that was steadily forming.
Hyunjin hates himself for being turned on when he really wants to rip the others head off, so with the last of his willpower he removes the hand from beneath his shirt and shuffles away to create clear distance. He isn't that easy.
They lie in complete silence for what feels like hours, and Hyunjin wonders if this is going to be their new normal.
"I'm sorry for pushing you away."
The apology hangs in the air, and Hyunjin wonders if he heard correctly because everyone knew that Jisung hated the idea of being wrong, let alone apologising for being wrong.
Hyunjin eventually shifts so that he is facing Jisung. "I just want to know why." He says with pleading eyes while chewing the inside of his cheek nervously. "Why have you been so cold and why do you think I don't care?" He chokes out the last part, holding in a sob.
It becomes silent again and Hyunjin can't handle it. The pending truth making his pulse quicken with suspense. "Please Hannie. Tell me why".
Jisung chews on his lip and subconsciously Hyunjin uses his thumb to untuck it, soothing it by tracing his bottom lip as he awaits an answer.
"I love you".
Those three words catch the older off guard.
"I love you," he repeats. "But you don't love me so in order to protect us both from the pain my stupid feelings will cause I decided to try and block you out." Jisung reveals.
Hyunjin opens his mouth to say something - anything. But Jisung beats him to it. "Don't say anything, you don't need to explain okay? I heard everything already."
Okay, now Hyunjin is definitely missing something. What had Jisung heard?
"What do you mean?" He asks, face twisted into a scowl. Jisung begins shaking his head. "It doesn't matter, what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry for being stand-offish and I'm sorry for falling in love and now I'm going to go back to my room-".
No. Hyunjin thinks. No way he was letting Jisung go after he just dumped all that on him.
"No." He says sternly. "No more running away."
They're both sitting up now, Jisung refusing to make eye contact and Hyunjin with panic evident on his features. "No more running away when you've said everything and nothing and have gotten things all wrong and still haven't explained what you heard." He rambles. "It's unfair to me." He ends with a pout.
Jisung exhales for the nth time.
"I heard you say you don't care." He divulges. "Last week when you were chatting to Felix in your room."
"I was coming back from Minho hyung' room after working up the courage to confess my feelings for you, but when I was about to barge into your room I heard my name and then you proceeded to say things like "It's just sex" and "I hate him so much" and "I couldn't care less."
Hyunjin wracks his brain, he doesn't recall ever saying such things to Felix. It's not until the memory of having a complete breakdown over how much he liked Jisung while Felix multitasked between listening and playing Genshin Impact that he realises that Jisung caught their conversation but was missing context.
"Jisung-".
"Stop. It's okay. I get it. It was stress relief and I read into it too much." He laments and Hyunjin wants to die right now. "All I request is that you give me some space for a while, just so that I can move on and-."
Hyunjin cuts him off after deciding to impulsively press his lips against Jisung's.
The kiss only lasts a few seconds before Jisung pulls away with an overwhelmed expression.
"Hyunjin..."
The older surges forward again and kisses him again and again and again until Jisung gives up on trying to talk and instead melts into it, letting Hyunjin lick at his mouth and angle his head to deepen it.
When they part, it's only to catch their breath and for Hyunjin to correct all of Jisung's statements.
"You're an idiot."
It's not how he wanted to start but it is said with genuine fondness as he gazes adoringly at the face held between his palms, his grasp tightening when Jisung tries to escape.
"I love you."
"I love you so much and I'm in love with an idiot become why didn't you just talk to me?" He stresses. "I thought you were getting sick of me and no longer wanted me."
"I always want you," Jisung replies causing Hyunjin to giggle, although he schools his face to one of seriousness when he remembers that he still needs to clear up the misunderstanding brought about by his love for Jisung spiel to Felix.
"I did say those things," he says and Jisung's eyes dull. "But not in the way you think." His gaze snaps back up, weariness clear in his shiny orbs.
Hyunjin gives him a peck.
"I was telling Felix that I love you," he confesses with the first real smile he's smiled all week. "I was saying that I hate you so much for making me feel this in love because it was just supposed to be sex and it hurts yet I couldn't care less as long as I am with you."
He speaks so fast that he has to heave for air at the end of his elucidation.
Jisung looks somewhat shameful.
"I'm an idiot." He mumbles and Hyunjin laughs, yanking the boy into another make out session. And where the kisses before were soft and passionate, this time round, they kiss messily and with a sense of desperation.
Hyunjin forces the younger to lie back down so that he can roll on top in order to kiss more comfortably. But when Jisung bites Hyunjin's lip, all thought goes out the window and he sits back up and is unbottoning his top in a hurry and urging Jisung to do the same.
He can feel Jisung's hard-on through the thin material of his pajama pants and he whines at the sensation of it brushing against his hole.
In a flurry of moans, the rest of their clothes are strewn across the floor. Giving way to the pleasure of Jisung's hips meeting Hyunjin's. This is the best they've felt in weeks and they only hope that things go up from here.
"I care," Hyunjin says.
Jisung chuckles amusedly, shooting him a soft smile just for him.
"I know."
The end.