Ava
I am too distraught to message Sebastian back and you know what, serve him right for kissing another woman. I am so angry and so upset and on top of that I feel utterly stupid for laying my heart on the line and my trust in practically a stranger. I groan as I get out of the taxi at the airport.
There is no way he's coming here not to the airport surely? He will only cause a scene because right now I am in the angry stage. I've cried so many tears in the taxi that I feel like I'll have a crying drought for the next year. Now I am just as mad as hell. The taxi ride felt like it took an eternity, I need the space and distance between us. I'm also gutted that I'm cutting my trip short, I really had my heart set on staying here in Spain being with Sebastian and then flying back whilst he went to Japan.
Okay so I'm not going to lie, I kind of thought he'd ask me to go to Japan with him, clearly not because he became far too busy kissing some other woman. And whilst I am in one, why did she have to look so blinking perfect with her ice maiden, long blonde hair? It goes without saying that now I wish I had blonde hair, only I'm not prepared to dye it. That is such a rubbish thought I'm just being ridiculous. My heart is still pounding, what if he does come to the airport? Actually he would be mobbed by so many people, I've seen this in action except for in his home town of Santa Fe. Trust me it is scary, I don't think I would enjoy having all those phones in my face trying to get a picture or a video of me. Wherever he goes he needs to have a bodyguard or two around him. I've never really thought of it before but even with all his money he still can't live a peaceful life like mine. Was. I say was because now it's been turned upside down and inside out, my emotions with it.
"You forget to pay, señorita." I hear the taxi driver say. Shit. How could I forget to do this? I know exactly how because I'm hurting, angry and feel like bawling my eyes out again. I want to tear my own heart out from my body and throw it against a wall. Perhaps then it wouldn't feel like it is breaking in two.
"Lo siento." I say and take my purse out from my small bag. Just the sight of it chokes me up. Sebastian bought it for me at a small local market when we were in Madrid down a cobbled side street, where thankfully nobody recognized him and we could wander hand-in-hand, just the two of us. His bodyguards on that occasion at least a few meters behind. We kissed and he nuzzled my neck then I saw this beautiful turquoise creation with a myriad of different colored stones sewn into it. "Mi precioso, you want it." His lips brushed mine, he tasted of roasted coffee and mint. I'll never forget how he tastes or his lemon and cinnamon fragrance. I will definitely be warned off all men who wear that same fragrance.
I'd smiled at him and told him I could buy it but no, Sebastian insisted and not only did he pay the ten Euro for it, he gave the woman an elderly vendor a wad of euros in her hand. I've seen this display of generosity from him multiple times and I like it. He cares for the people and that brings on a fresh surge of pain to my chest. Right, the taxi man is now staring at me and he isn't looking quite as friendly as he did when he picked me up. Money. I need to pay him.
I hand over the forty euros plus another twenty for a tip. I missed most of Zaragoza during the drive from the hotel. I was too busy with my head down wiping tears and reading his messages. Do you think perhaps I was a bit hasty? I mean now I'm inside the airport I feel scared and conflicted. What if I was just a bit too dramatic. Perhaps there is an innocent explanation, I don't usually tend to be dramatic this is a first for me. Yet my mom always said to go with my instinct and my instinct tells me to get to the desk, purchase a ticket and get on the next available flight.
I already checked in advance during the ride, in between his imploring messages and saw there is a flight leaving in roughly two hours, the next one in four hours. Hopefully I can get on the first flight. I want to feel my mom's arms around me, I want to sit on my favorite sofa with my comfy blanket around my knees and sob my heart out cuddling my aged teddy. If that's too girlie for a young twenty-three year old like me, then tough. Comfort is what I need.
Zoe will probably have a fit at seeing me back without waiting for an explanation but I need the space and the distance. Who knows once I'm back home in my small home town, things may seem entirely different. You know what holiday romances are like. Everyone gets swept up into the magic and romance, whisked away on a dream and maybe that is all this was.
"Can I help you?" The man sitting behind the desk interrupts my thoughts. He can probably see how red and sore my eyes are, not to mention my nose. I have been ugly crying and I feel a total and utter mess. I'm wrecked beyond belief and feel raw like scalding water has been poured over me.
"Yes, I need to get on the next flight to Chicago. It's an emergency." I reach into my bag for my passport. He clicks away on his keyboard, my fingers drum on the counter. It seems to take ages for him to look up at me. I take in his dark hair that he is wearing slicked back and molten brown eyes. I can just imagine him being yet another Spanish Casanova. Yes, yes, yes. I am being a bit harsh but right now with my ex dumping me, hooking up with drop your knickers as fast you can, Charlotte and now Sebastian kissing ice maiden, well I'm a bit tarnished. I am in a rush. The flight leaves in a couple of hours and I want to be on the other side just in case Sebastian comes looking for me. Am I being to hasty? Really I wish I'd stop asking myself this. There may be a totally plausible explanation but after Mark and Charlotte I don't think I can listen to anything Sebastian may have to say. It is a wound I thought had healed, but I guess with all the romance and passion from Sebastian I may have just covered it over.
"There is a seat available. You are lucky I can get you on the next flight out. It departs in one hour and forty-five minutes." I don't give him time to tell me the flight number nor the precise time. I want the seat and thrust my passport at him like a deranged woman. He smiles. Yes I can definitely see girls swooning over him.
Why is it that when you're waiting at the airport for anything to happen it simply takes forever? He opens my passport checks it, looks up at me, looks back at the passport. It takes all I've got to not shout at him. It's pretty obvious it is me. I am so frustrated. Time is ticking, I have a hunch Sebastian is going to be here any minute. I hear my phone ping, it's another WhatsApp message. I read it whilst the man in front of me starts clicking away on his keyboard again. He's in such deep concentration as he begins to create my ticket and boarding pass for me. I wonder how people did it years ago. I've only ever secured my tickets online. Oh except I did have to collect a boarding pass once when I was visiting Marrakech. That was a nuisance, for some reason I couldn't download it, thankfully there was nobody around at six in the morning and it was quick. But this. Well let's just it's taking longer than a trek to the Himalayas. Least that is how it feels.
I'm tense and anxious, my stomach is in knots. What am I most afraid of? Leaving Sebastian behind and wondering if I made a huge mistake? Or never feeling this way with any other man again? The message, I read it but I have no intention of messaging him back.
I am at the airport. Please come and meet me at the Starbucks café. It's on the ground floor. I will wait for you. All my love Sebastian xxx He has added a whole lot of heart emojis and flowers. My gut gnarls and twists in knots.
"That will be one-thousand and ninety euros please." Well I knew it wasn't going to be cheap. I've been so desperate to get away I hadn't even considered asking for a swap out on my current planned return ticket. Fuck it. I don't care. I have to get on that flight, I need distance and space. And I am certainly not going to the Starbucks to meet Sebastian.
I place my card against the card reader then enter my pin. Within seconds a hefty amount has just left my bank account. The man begins to give me the flight information, times, where to go through security. Ya, di, ya. I nod and grab my passport from him, the ticket and hastily bid him goodbye. I know my way around an airport, it is second nature.
My head is held up high, my eyes are focused on the signs and I spot security in front of me and passport control. I pick up my pace and then I hear his voice. "Ava. Ava. Wait." Instinctively I want to run into his arms and tell him I love him. I want to inhale the intoxicating scent of his fragrance mixed with his own muskiness. I want to feel those lips on mine again. However, my head is in full blown defense mode and over rules all the physical needs and desires my body and heart are craving.
Instead, I continue to walk. Fast. Towards the passport control. Then I hear his voice again. It dominates the area, people stop and begin to stare. There is a flurry of activity and phones start to come out. I glance up and see as he is being swamped as people begin to take pictures and video him. I check, he doesn't look like he has his security detail with him. Shit. This must be awful for him. Should I stop? Should I go to him and feel his hand at the back of my head pulling me in for a kiss that will melt me right into him? No, no no, Ava. Keep going he kissed someone else. He let you down just like Mark. You are done with men. Full. Stop. My feet continue on their way one in front of the other, they increase their pace.
"AVA. STOP. RIGHT. NOW. I. LOVE. YOU." His words shoot through my heart, it melts. I sob, ugly messy sobbing. My tears freely run down my face as I hand my passport to the security man in front of me. I'm being loud and noisy. The security man looks at me but doesn't say anything. He looks towards Sebastian and his jaw almost drops to the ground. I daren't look back because I know I will run into his arms and allow him to love me. Love me. Is that what he just said? Oh my God, my heart is breaking as my mind battles with itself over staying or leaving. But I have to respect myself, I have to stand by my side and my principles. If he wants me that badly he can figure it out. After all he is a billionaire.
He's right behind me. "Sir stop. You cannot go through." I hear the guard.
"Don't you know who I am?"
"Doesn't matter sir, without your passport and a boarding pass you are not able to go through."
"Damnit. I can buy the entire airport and all the aircraft that come and go on a daily basis. I need to speak to her. I have to."
I feel hysterical as I listen to him pleading and begging the guard then becoming agitated.
"That may be the case, sir but it changes nothing. Now please remove yourself otherwise I have to call security."
"Jesus. AVAAAAAAAA." I hear him screaming my name, now the whole airport practically is having a field day with Sebastian Garcia screaming out to a woman who is running away from him. My heart is bleeding for him and for myself. But I can't turn back.
"I'm going to change your mind and make you never want to leave me again." Are the last words I hear. I plug my ear pods in, turn my music on and drown myself in Lady Gaga whilst crying all the way to a quiet place to collapse.