Kim's fingers are itching to reach out, to hold Chay's face, and kiss him senseless. If Chay thinks that he can just say this and not immediately act upon it, then he is wrong and cruel.
Slowly, he reaches out, fingers brushing over the back of Chay's head down to the neck until they stop at the crook between neck and shoulder. Chay's skin is so hot and tender, so responsive to Kim's touch as the goosebumps spread under his fingertips. It makes Kim dizzy, thinking about how Chay's body would feel under his lips—how hot and tender. How sweet.
Chay doesn't flinch. Doesn't move away. And his lips look so tempting, so inviting. And Kim doesn't even really know why he didn't cross this small space between them already. But there's this voice at the back of his mind telling him that he can't fuck this up. It's like he is afraid that Chay would disappear, which is a fucking nonsense because Kimhan Theerapanyakul is never afraid! At least he wasn't—not until he met this boy.
He figures that he has to react somehow to Chay's words, but he can't keep his eyes off Chay's lips, so he doesn't even look up when he teasingly says, "I'd say I'm more than a good kisser—no complains before, sweetheart." Because it's better to tease. To pretend that this boy isn't holding Kim's life in his hands and can do anything he wants with it. Right now Kim thinks how different everything would be if he decided to stay at home and take a walk around the city some other day. He doesn't like that thought—it feels like a nightmare.
"People before me weren't threatened by the idea of spending the rest of their lives with you... boss," Chay nonchalantly replies.
It's either the slight smirk that is playing on those perfect lips, or the way Chay says boss, but whatever it is, it pushes Kim over the edge. The quiet gasp Chay lets out tickles Kim's lips as he crashes their mouths together. His fingers are wrapped around Chay's chin, holding him in place, while Kim feels the ecstasy flowing through his veins. His lips are burning, melting into Chay's. Kim feels the pressure of Chay's lips—he is kissing Kim back, and his fingers are travelling up Kim's chest until they reach Kim's neck. They stay there, just resting, a thumb brushing absentmindedly over Kim's Adam's apple. And Kim feels like he wants to disintegrate into the smallest particles in the air and rest in Chay's hair, on his clothes, and skin and everywhere around him because why would he want to be anywhere else ever again?
Chay's lips taste like sunshine and gold and when a person tastes them long enough they taste like summer rain, at it's all so sweet and soft... and then Chay puls away.
They are still close, trying to catch their breath and Chay's fingers are still on Kim's neck, and Kim's fingers moved to rest in Chay's hair. And Kim wants more, but he doesn't have to say it because Chay is the one who is already pulling him closer again, and pressing their lips together again. It's soft like a touch of butterfly wings and doesn't last anywhere near how long Kim wishes it to last—and once Chay pulls away and his fingers are no longer touching Kim's skin it feels like part of Kim is missing. Kim was obsessed before. He was in—what he thought at that time was love—before, but this feels different. The intensity of this feeling is beyond anything he felt before. He is breathing fast, letting it settle in his heart. He waits quietly for Chay to speak up, not knowing what to say himself because his mind is both entirely empty and full of Chay's existence.
Chay runs his hand through his hair. He licks his lips as if chasing the tase of Kim still on them, and Kim wishes for it to be the truth because he can't be the only one addicted to this feeling of their lips dancing as one—he can't imagine feeling so much while Chay feels nothing. But Chay's hands—Kim notices with satisfaction—are shaking. It's barely noticeable but Kim is hyperaware of everything Chay is doing, every little move, every quirk of his body, or change in his voice. So Kim notices it and it makes him want to take Chay's hands and hold them until they aren't shaking anymore, until they rest in Kim's hands willingly, relaxed and tender because that's where they belong—Chay's hands in Kim's; forever. Before Chay finally looks at Kim, he unlocks his phone. His lips are plump and red and they are glistening in the phone light, and Kim thinks that he finally understands all those ancient poems and who they were written about.
"Um... yeah, that was—that was good," Chay says, his voice slightly hoarse and Kim wants to kiss him again.
"I told you no one complained."
Chay rolls his eyes and shoves his phone into Kim's hands, "your number."
"What should I put as my name? Mob boss, Kim, boyfriend... husband?"
"How about an 'annoying psycho with obsessive tendencies'?" Chay offers.
"Sweetheart," Kim smirks. "Don't pretend you don't like me. You were practically devouring my mouth just moments ago."
Chay sighs, "whatever—just put Boss and a black heart next to it."
Kim cock his eyebrow, "boss?"
Chay smirks, "I have a nickname for you. And really, don't forget the black heart."
Kim puts in his name and phone number as he was ordered to do and hands the phone back to Chay. The digital clock in the car says that it is ten minutes past midnight. Kim knows that Chay will now get out of the car and disappears for god knows how many days. And he doesn't like it. His father once called Kim's obsession an attachment issue and maybe he was right. Kim just doesn't like when people and things that make him feel nice aren't right next to him all the time. It's like he isn't important enough for them to stay.
Chay looks at the clock, too. Kim wishes that Chay wouldn't want to leave him as well. But he knows that not everyone is like him. Not everyone gets obsessed so easily and so fast—Chay probably won't even think about him the moment he leaves this car.
"I have to go," Chay says. "It's too late." And Kim thinks that he hears a slight disappointment in Chay's voice—and maybe Kim is just making it up, but it still feels comforting.
"Yeah. I know," Kim replies because he doesn't know what else to say. Should he just lock the doors and don't let Chay out? He figures pretty quickly that—that wouldn't probably be the best start to their relationship.
Chay looks at him, "remember—no contact until I text you first. I know that you can somehow find my number or socials or even drive here... so do not do that! Okay?"
"Yeah."
Chay gives him a quick smile, "good night and be careful driving home."
Chay wants him to be careful.
The noise of the car door shutting behind Chay is too loud in the middle of the night and it startles Kim more than all those bullets in the restaurant did. He is watching Chay's silhouette getting further and further away from him, and it feels as if he is slipping through Kim's fingertips, and before Kim thinks about it twice, he is already getting out of the car and spinning Chay around, their lips only inches away.
"Can I?" he pleads.
"Yeah," Chay whispers and just like that, Kim kisses him again.
⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜
It's frankly a blur to Kim how he gets home. All he knows is that it's about three in the morning, he is in bed and he can't sleep. It's dark; the curtains are drawn, the light is off. The only source of light is Kim's phone—Kim is staring at it as if Chay would have nothing better to do—like sleeping for example—but texting Kim in the middle of the night. It's ridiculous, but Kim can't help himself. On one hand, he is too fucking happy, he doesn't even remember when was the last time he felt like this. The boy that he spotted singing on the street, and didn't even know his name—now has a name. Has a nickname. Has Kim's phone number. Is Kim's boyfriend. And has Kim completely under his spell. And Kim is relishing in it.
But on the other hand, the boy that Kim spotted singing on the street today, that now has a name, a nickname, has Kim's phone number, is Kim's boyfriend, and has Kim completely under his spell—the same boy could have been killed because of broken loyalty. The rage in Kim's blood is wild and violent. Killing Luke wasn't enough. Mallori has to realize he can't fuck with the Theerapanyakul family the same way he did when Korn was still alive. Things have changed.
His phone lets out a sound of an incoming text message.
Kim has never grabbed his phone so fast.
But it's not Chay. Of course, it is not. But it is about Chay.
It's Big. He sent a photo of the box and the message.
— got the box, sir. All the money is there. I bring it to you in the morning
Good, Kim thinks. Chay will be happy to get it back. And he will be happy to see Chay being happy.
Kim rolls out of bed and decides to go sit outside. Maybe some fresh air will help him to clear his mind. The house is dark. Smart lights are turned on only in places where the bodyguards are keeping an eye on everything. Kim loves the halls of this house during the night the most—they are old and they seem endless, and when he was little, he used to just hide around the house for hours and no one could ever find him because of how enormous this house is. It's like a palace. It really is. But Kim doesn't like to call it that. After all, he isn't a king, he is a mob boss. Once he is out of the house, he goes to the garden. He might as well go and check how are his brother's fish doing. If they are even still alive. When he is almost at the pond he notices a silhouette, sitting on the grass, watching the fish swimming. It doesn't take him too long to figure out who it is. There's no one else who would watch fish in the pond during the night instead of sleeping.
Kim obviously doesn't count himself right now.
"Phi."
Tankhun looks up. A big smile appears on his face as he opens his arms—his hot pink bathrobe shines under the moonlight. "Kimmy! Come here. Come to your brother. You came home and you didn't even come say hi to your favourite brother first. How dare you?!"
Kim laughs and sits down next to his brother, but he doesn't hug him. It's Tankhun who has to do it. Kim feels his bones rearranging in his body until Tankhun lets him go.
"I missed you, too."
Tankhun looks at him offended, "well, I hope you did. I would be deeply hurt if you didn't!"
Kim laughs, "why are you up at this hour?"
"Was binge-watching a K-drama and now I can't sleep. You?"
"I met someone."
Tankhun turns his body fully to Kim, completely abandoning his fish, "you met someone... and is that just a casual 'I met someone I think they are cute but you know I'm totally normal so there's not more to the story'? or is it more of 'I met someone and I got obsessed and now I can't get them out of my head' type of met someone?"
"Why do you think I'm still up?" Kim deadpans.
Tankhun looks excited. He claps his hands and scoots closer to Kim, "so, tell me. Tell me everything!"
So Kim does. He talks about how he heard Chay's voice on the street and he knew that everything has changed from that moment on. He talks about how Chay has a sharp tongue, but at the same time how sweet and adorable he is. He talks about how he gave Chay two million dollars for the charity to which Tankhun both praises him for it but also laughs because he isn't so sure that Kim's actions were as selfless as he is saying they were. And yes, Kim admits that if his obsession didn't bloom the moment he saw Chay, he most likely wouldn't spend two million on the charity, but he still defends himself by saying that he wouldn't just go by—he would actually donate, just not that much; on which Tankhun laughs but lets the topic be. Kim tells him about the restaurant and the shooting as well. The only thing he keeps for himself is the taste of Chay's lips and how he felt under his fingertips. It's too personal and it belongs only to Kim—no one else. He always liked to talk to his eldest brother because he never felt judged. Not even once. Kim doesn't get that from many people. When he finishes, Tankhun is looking at him with a huge grin on his face, but there's also a little bit of worry in his eyes.
"So my little brother has a boyfriend. This is wonderful! Do you think he is the one?"
"I wasn't considering marriage no matter the tradition, but then I saw him... I don't know how to explain it." Kim groans, frustrated, he runs his fingers through his hair, "you know how I get."
"I do," Tankhun nods. "That's why I think that the condition he gave you about not contacting and meeting him until he says so is the good one."
Kim feels personally attacked, "well, thanks."
Tankhun's face turns serious, "I mean it, Kim. Yes, you get obsessed with something pretty fast, but that's not love. A marriage based on obsession and not love will end in ruin. And with it this entire family. This family barely survived the marriage of our parents. If you want to get married and keep this family safe and respected, you have to love the boy. What will you do if your obsession gets too much? Or if it suddenly disappears? I don't recall you still being interested in that one boy from high school or in that sports car that you took from Kinn and drove for a total of two times. The longer you stay away from the boy the better. Maybe you find out that you don't even really want him."
"I want him," Kim argues immediately. "It's been three hours since I saw him and I swear to god, it takes everything in me to not stand in front of his house right now."
"And is this your obsession speaking or your rational mind, hmm?"
"Can you stop being so philosophical?" Kim groans.
Tankhun laughs, "just let the boy set the pace, trust me. It will be better for both of you."
⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜
So, Kim let Chay set the pace and...
It has been almost two weeks.
Two weeks without one word from Chay. Two weeks without hearing his voice, feeling his touch—two weeks without kissing him. And Kim is not doing well. He feels like he is an addict, trying to get over his addiction, but he can't! He can't do it! Chay has been occupying Kim's every waking thought and all his dreams. What is he doing? Did he go to sing again? Did he already use some of the money Kim gave him? Does he think about Kim at least sometimes? Does he even miss him? Maybe he forgot about Kim. That would explain those two weeks.
Kim is doing his best, focusing on his role as the head of the family. He keeps doing his job as a mob boss. Keeps making sure that the reputation of the Theerapanyakul family is only getting better in the criminal underworld, all the while his mind is occupied by two things: Chay and murder. Every time Kim kills someone, he thinks about Chay. Chay wasn't afraid of him when Kim killed all those people in the restaurant. In fact, it seemed like he let Kim in even more after that. Chay likes that, doesn't he? Would Chay like to watch Kim kill people? Kim wouldn't mind spending some Sunday afternoon like that. He has to ask Chay that—once Chay will decide that it was enough, torturing Kim like this.
And yeah, when Chay isn't the main thing on his mind then Kim is in his mafia mode just like right now. He grabs a bucket of cold water and splashes it into a man's face, "wake up, princess. I don't have the entire day!"
The man is tied up to a chair, his eyebrow is cut—blood has dripped down to his cheek. There's blood on his lips as well, and a nasty-looking bruise under his left eye.
One of Mallori's men.
"So, you are the one who worked with that traitor Luke, hmm," Kim grabs a knife and drags it along the man's cheek, tipping the man's chin up. "Tell me, were you all laughing at me? Thinking I'll be that easy to get rid of?"
"My boss is laughing at everyone in your fucking family all the time!" the man spits blood down barely missing Kim's shoes.
"You know what's funny?" Kim chuckles. "I keep hearing a shit tone of things about your boss, but not once he came to say hi personally. I'm starting to think that he is a coward hiding behind his mommy."
"My boss doesn't pay respect to kids like you!"
Kim chuckles, "who said anything about respect?" he presses the knife to the man's neck—already seeing droplets of blood appearing on his dirty skin. "Tell me, which part of you should I send to your boss as a gift? Your head? Finger. Or maybe a dick?"
Kim's phone vibrates in his pocket. Usually, he doesn't stop his interrogation just because someone tries to contact him, but this is different—he is waiting for Chay to end his misery. So he steps away, pulls out the phone, and puts the knife on the table. He throws the man one more careful glance, and then he unlocks the phone.
— watching Criminal Minds
— thought of u <3
— btw it's "sweetheart"
Kim lets a huge smile spread all over his lips. He never does it in front of his enemies, but right now, he couldn't care less. Chay texted him. The wait is over.
"Who is that? One of the bitches you are fucking?" the man laughs. "How about you share—"
"Shut your fucking mouth!" Kim grabs the gun from the table and shoots the man, not once looking up from his phone.
To be continued...
P.S. I do wonder how Chay felt after their first kiss, hmm? 👀