"𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙚"
𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨...
♪ 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬.𝙖.𝙣.𝙙. - 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙡𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙥𝙨 ♪
BLUE HAD DONE PLENTLY OF ILLEGAL THINGS IN HER LIFETIME.
Underage drinking? Check.
Driving without a license? Check.
Breaking and entering? Check.
Sinking a boat worth 250,000 dollars? Well, she hadn't done that one before, but she was about to check that one off the list.
There she was, staring at Topper Thorton's Kook-ass watercraft, knowing it was about to hit the ocean floor in the very near future. She couldn't say that she felt bad about the upcoming events, not when her cheek was bruised and bleeding, especially not with Pope's face caved in. No, she merely felt an all-too familiar sense of anxiety that often accompanied her whenever her friends were about to do something out-of-bounds stupid.
JJ and Pope were standing with her on the stern of Heyward's boat, which was parked not too far from the Thortons' dock. The boys were tense and determined, staring at Topper's vessel with vengeance in their eyes, obviously not a care in the world for the possible consequences that could come with sinking a Kook's boat.
But that was all Blue could think about. Sure, she also wanted revenge, she wanted to serve some kind of payback for what had happened to her and her friend. She wanted Pogues to finally get a step-up for once. What she didn't want, though, was for her angel or her weird, beloved Pope to get sent to county jail over it.
"2020 Malibu, 24-MXC." Pope said with a low tone, eyes never leaving the boat as he spoke. "The world's finest wakesetter. Number one in quality, luxury, and performance." He repeated JJ's words from just a few days earlier - from when they had passed Sarah and Topper through the marsh. How ironic that they were about to destroy something they had once thought highly of.
"It's kinda freaky how you memorized that." Blue murmured from her place under JJ's arm. He hadn't let go of her since he found out that she had gotten jumped, too.
JJ had that look in his eye - like a dog after a bone. He wanted revenge, and he wanted it badly, and he would do anything to get it. "This is war, Pope. They hit us, we hit them." Then he gave Blue a quick squeeze before removing his arm from around her shoulders, taking his paisley print gaiter mask out from his pocket and slipping it onto his face, then adding the aviators to hide all of his features. "Do it."
Pope threw his hat off and then his shirt followed. Blue could feel a weight in the bottom of her stomach begin to form. Pope, the one with the golden ticket, the one with something to lose, was about to do something that could ruin his potentially elevated future. One he had worked hard for, one he deserved. She didn't know if she could watch him throw it all away.
"Pope, I totally understand that you want to do this, but you should probably think about it first." Blue said, her voice low and soft, exhaustion clear in her tone. She didn't know if her tiredness was more physical or emotional at that point, and in all honestly, she didn't care to dissect it any further.
The Heyward boy turned to her for a quick moment to respond. "This isn't just about me, Blue." He said before taking off his shoes and throwing them to sit with the rest of his discarded clothes. "It's about you, too. They can't get away with this."
"And they won't." JJ chimed him, tone rough and slightly muffled from his mask. "First Topper, then Rafe. I'll make sure they regret this." Although his eyes were covered by his sunglasses, Blue could still feel his gaze pointed at the mark on her cheek.
The girl sighed before tugging her hood up - she was wearing one of JJ's jackets, of course - and then pulling out another pair of shades before putting them on. "Fine." She huffed, "But be careful. Make sure no one sees you."
"You got it, boss." Pope gave her a mock salute before clumsily diving into the water, leaving Blue and JJ alone on the boat.
A tense silence encompassed them as JJ began preparing the bowline for the inevitable getaway that would occur once Pope returned from his criminal act. Blue fiddled with the ends of her too-long sleeves, the tips of her fingers slipping through holes made by tears and cigarette burns. Her mind was half there and half not - part of it was still left in the sand by the Island Club, reliving the attack that had just happened merely fifteen minutes ago.
She didn't know how to feel. There were clear answers - angry, sad, vulnerable, etc. All while she certainly felt those lingering in her head, she also felt detached. Almost like she couldn't comprehend that something like that had happened to her - like she couldn't fully believe it despite having the evidence right there on her face. Blue had been so accustomed to people protecting her or going easy on her that she had no idea how to process what it meant to be attacked for just simply being her. A Pogue, an alien. Things that were woven into her DNA - or rather a matter of fate - that simply could not be undone. And they were used as a reason to bring her harm.
How could anyone know how to process that?
Blue didn't let herself get lost in those thoughts for too long. She decided to ignore them, instead focusing on the blond boy as he rummaged through the boat all while cursing under his breath.
"Those fucking Kooks," JJ muttered angrily as he gathered the tether in his hands. "Think they can touch my girl." He scoffed, shaking his head as he stepped around the stern in rapid movements. He was like a lit firecracker, bound to set off, a sparkling flame trickling up and up and up until the inevitable explosion. "I swear, when I get my hands on them-"
"Jayj." Blue interrupted him with her soft voice, bringing him to a stop almost instantly. Her shielded eyes met his before they looked back out to the water, seeing Pope finally reaching Topper's boat and climbing inside. "I don't know if this is a good idea." She spoke.
He walked up to her, quick to wrap his arm around her shoulder just as he had done before. "This isn't okay, Blue." He said, his other hand raising to her cheek, thumb grazing just under her injury.
She sighed, simultaneously relishing his touch and also hating the acknowledgement of what had happened to her - what had hurt her. "I know it's not, but this is just gonna keep going." Blue said, releasing her worries into the air. "And it's gonna fall back on Pope. He won't be able to handle it."
They both watched as Pope meddled with something inside Topper's vehicle before finally jumping into the water once more. It didn't take long for the expensive boat to start slowly sinking into the ocean as the Heyward boy swam away from the crime scene.
"He'll be fine. He needs to learn how to stick up for himself, anyway." JJ replied. "And if they keep coming after us, then I'll keep fucking with them. It's the law of the jungle." He shrugged as if a constant cycle of violence was no big deal. "Simple as that."
"I just-"
Before Blue could speak, JJ had gripped her arms and turned her to face him, cutting off the words that had been flowing from her lips. The lack of space between them was incredibly noticeable, seeing as though Blue could practically see his eyes through his black lenses and the zipper of her jacket was brushing against the worn material of his muscle-tee. "I can't let them get away with hurting you." He said, voice heavy as though it was being weighed down by stones, his intent coming through with every low syllable. Blue felt a shiver go down her spine at the sound of it.
Their moment was interrupted by Pope finally reaching Heyward's boat and ascending the ladder. JJ and Blue tore away from one another and looked down to see the boy proudly holding up the other boat's plug with a big smile.
"Wow, you did it." JJ grinned, happily taking his mask and sunglasses off as he spoke. "I'm so proud of you right now. Holy crap." The blond was clearly enjoying his friends act of revenge, glad that he had finally roped him into doing something reckless and stupid instead of just sitting on the sidelines.
While Blue couldn't help but smile at Pope, she also couldn't shake her uneasiness. After all, Sheriff Peterkin had once told her that Topper Thorton liked to press charges, so that memory quickly spiraled into an all-consuming sense of worry as her gaze switched from the sinking vehicle to her friend in the water. This was going to have its ugly consequences; she was sure of it.
But the deed was done, and there was nothing she could do about it, so she decided to at least revel in the fact that a few Pogues were able to pull off a pretty sick act of revenge. She wished she could see Topper's face once he realized his boat was now making friends with the seaweed and coral down below, but sadly, she wouldn't have that pleasure.
"You feel like a man, Pope?" Blue joked as she offered him a hand and helped pull him up.
Instead of responding, the Heyward boy quickly stumbled towards his friends in an intense manner. "JJ?" He breathed out.
"Yeah?" The blond responded.
"Blue?" Pope's eyes turned to her.
"Yes...?" She hesitantly replied.
"You guys can't tell anybody." The boy frantically shook his head as he spoke, his gaze full of anxiety and need as he spoke. Blue had never truly seen Pope like this before, and she didn't really like it.
"Oh, no, yeah." JJ said, "Totally, dude."
"No, I'm serious, dude." Pope took a step closer, his tone rising in volume while also deepening in intensity. His eyes shifted from Blue to JJ as he continued. "Not Kie, not John B, nobody."
It was like the weight of it all had finally settled on Pope - the potential arrest warrant and loss of his precious scholarship - every possible consequence landing like rain droplets on his head until he was drowning in apprehension. The reality of the situation seemed to crash upon him harder with every inch that Topper's boat sunk further and further into the ocean.
"Our lips are sealed." Blue promised, giving him a small smile of reassurance. Sure, she didn't exactly like keeping secrets from her brother and her best friend, but it wasn't up for debate - John B and Kiara couldn't know anything about what went down that day. Not about Rafe and Topper, not about their act of revenge, nothing.
"Give me that," JJ urged, motioning to the boat plug in Pope's hand. He grabbed it and quickly launched it overboard without hesitation, getting rid of the evidence in the most efficient way possible. Blue watched as the piece of metal disappeared underwater, knowing it would most likely never be found. "Okay, let's get out of here."
The three of them quickly clambered into the helm, Pope taking his seat at the captain's chair while Blue and JJ sat themselves on top of the counter, just as they had done earlier in the day. As their boat drove further south, they could see Topper's boat sinking in their rear view, quickly becoming consumed by the ocean herself.
With a heavy sigh, Blue looked away, closing her eyes and resting the back of her head on the boat's wall. "I'm ready to go home. I need a nap, like, right now." She muttered as her lips set into an all-too familiar pout.
JJ poked her side, causing her to look over at him. "Hate to break it to you, Bluey, but we gotta meet JB and Kie at the break."
Blue groaned at the reminder. In all of the chaos that had occurred, she had forgotten about their plans to surf once the weather had calmed down and work had been done. While she had initially been excited to finally hit the waves again, she now felt a sense of dread at the idea. Blue was tired in every way imaginable, so the thought of doing anything physical was absolutely unappealing to her at that moment. Then there was also the fact that her cheek was marked up, and she didn't have any way of hiding it from her brother and Kiara if she was going to be surfing. She would have to make up some elaborate excuse as to why she was coming back with a bloody wound, and she really didn't have the energy to spin lies at that point.
"Can't we skip it?" Blue whined, "I just wanna cuddle with my cat and sleep for twelve hours."
"John B has probably killed your pet by now, Blue." Pope joked, recalling how it was the Routledge boy's duty to watch Rain while Blue was gone, and he was absolutely incompetent when it came to handling animals.
"Don't say that." She grumbled at the idea. "He was supposed to hand her off to the neighbors before going to the break. She better have gotten there in one piece or I'm gonna kill him."
The boys laughed at her fierce protection of her kitten for a short moment. The laughter was a nice sound - a reminder that despite the evil that had corrupted the day, there was still light, and it couldn't be taken from them so easily.
"We have to go." JJ said, scooting closer to Blue on the counter and gently taking her hand in a comforting manner. "If we don't, it'll just raise suspicion. Plus, it's a potential alibi if shit goes down."
He had a point, Blue had to admit. Them missing out on a surfing session alone would raise some brows. Although she desperately wanted the day to be over, she simply nodded, agreeing to go without a word spoken.
"All right," Pope sighed as he steered the boat. "Let's get this over with."
𑁍 𑁍 𑁍
BLUE HAD ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT THE OCEAN CALLED TO HER.
Whether that was because of her crash into the Outer Banks at the young age of two, or her love for surfing, or because it was where her father was presumably lost, she didn't know. She just knew that the waves beckoned her in every imaginable way. Regardless of if she went to the ocean for healing or for fun or when she felt inconceivably distraught, the water was there - promising something that she always reached for. What that something was, she wasn't quite sure.
John B liked to say that the ocean makes you remember. And as Blue sat on the sand with her eyes glued to those clear-blue waves, she could feel it - all the memories and emotions she usually kept at bay. The feeling of finding forever, which she had experienced once Big John had visited the shipwreck that brought her to shore. The memories of her and her dad fishing and boating and spending nearly every day on the water - how he called her his little mermaid because she never wanted to leave the ocean's embrace. And the loss of him, the ache of it all, how she could almost hear his voice the closer she got to the shore.
To her, the ocean was beautiful, and all beautiful things carried a sense of pain with it.
Blue watched from her spot on the beach as her friends surfed and swam, feeling an all-too familiar sense of detachment and insecurity wash over her as the distance between them seemed to stretch on for miles. While they were having fun and putting everything behind them, she was still stuck - stuck on words and actions that crept deep into the crevices of her brain and refused to leave.
Rafe's face and his vile words and threats were on a constant loop, an unwanted film playing over and over again until she had practically memorized the entire script. The golf club, Pope's blood, her own...everything flashed back at her in a sickening reel that she desperately wanted to tear to shreds.
That's what aliens like you do, anyways.
Was that what people saw her as? Someone - something - different? Something weird or unwanted? Were all of her seemingly irrational insecurities true?
Blue had always wondered - no, more like worried - that people saw her like that. How could she not? She had a strange story, an unusual tale of an unknown past and a heroic adoption, one that could easily suggest that she didn't belong. It didn't help that she seemed to be the only Asian person in the entirety of Kildare. Sure, people seemed to like her well enough, but what if they whispered something different once her back was turned? What if they said things along the same tune as Rafe did?
While she was sinking deeper and deeper into her hurricane of thoughts, she hadn't noticed a presence coming closer until their shadow was looming over her, blocking the sun from touching her skin. She blinked, lashes fluttering as her eyes adjusted to the sudden change in light before finally focusing on the person standing in front of her.
"C'mon, Baby Blue." JJ said, holding out his hand for her to take, his blond hair becoming a golden halo under the beams of sunlight. An angel appearing before her in her darkest hour. "You'll feel better once you're in the water, you always do."
She knew that he was right - and she also knew that if she didn't go willingly, he would end up throwing her over his shoulder and dragging her into the ocean. So, with a light sigh, she took his hand before standing up and following his lead.
With both of their boards in hand, the pair made their way into the ocean, paddling out to John B, Pope, and Kie, who were leisurely waiting for them not too far from the shore. They all sat upon their boards, all five of them floating in circle so they could face each other.
"There she is! I was wondering why you hadn't come in yet!" John B smiled as he spoke to his sister, but once his hazel eyes caught sight of the mark on her face, his expression quickly soured. "What the fuck happened to your face?!"
Blue felt like she was shrinking under his angry gaze, though she knew the anger wasn't directed towards her - it was targeted at the 'unknown' assaulter who gave her that wound. She hadn't thought of a believable lie yet, and with his intense stare now urging on Kiara to do the same, she felt a strong pressure tying her tongue in knots as she desperately tried to think of something on the spot.
"Um," She hesitated for a moment, glancing towards Pope and JJ, who were trying to hide their anxiety by covering it with nonchalant looks. "These two idiots were playing catch with a beer can and accidently hit me." Blue spoke the words before she could even think about it.
John B turned to the boys, attaching his furious eyes to them instead. "Dipshits. Don't hit my sister again or I'll kill you." He spat out before splashing both of them, harsh waves of saltwater attacking Pope and JJ without mercy.
Although Blue appreciated her brother's protectiveness, it made her feel even more guilty for lying to him about how she had gotten hurt. She wondered what he would have done if he knew the truth. Would he go after Rafe and Topper? Would he and JJ storm Figure Eight, wreaking havoc until vengeance was served? She had no doubt that that would be the outcome, but she knew it could never come to fruition. John B couldn't know anything - and Blue would have to live with that.
"You guys are such dumbasses, she could've gotten seriously hurt!" Kie chimed in, chastising the boys in a motherly tone.
"We'll be more careful next time!" JJ yelled back, wiping his eyes as he spoke.
"Scouts honor!" Pope raised his hand to his chest as if to lock in his promise.
Blue forced out a laugh. "It's fine, guys. No big deal." She spoke. "Let's surf."
With that being said, they laid the conversation to rest before spreading out, claiming their own territory so they all had enough space to shred some waves. Blue let herself be consumed by the water, and with every flip of her board, her mind became clearer and clearer. Surfing had always been a sort of therapy for the girl, and to lose herself in doing what she loved after the kind of day she had was a much-needed session. Spending time with the ocean after being away for so long felt like a homecoming of sorts, one that she desperately needed.
But once she decided to rest for a moment and simply float with her board in order to catch her breath, everything started to come back. She cursed herself for not being able to have a long-lasting sense of peace; not even when she was doing something that typically granted her that kind of reprieve. If surfing wasn't the answer, maybe she needed a joint and a nap, particularly in that order.
Thankfully, she wasn't alone with her thoughts for too long. JJ paddled over to where she was stationed and copied her stance while facing her, straddling his board as he floated on the surface. "Why'd you stop?" He asked as he ran a hand through his wet hair to get it out of his sun-kissed face.
"Needed a break." She said, trying her best to smile as she spoke. "I'm exhausted."
The others continued with the sport - riding the waves with kickflips and alley-oops, losing themselves in the water like Pogues were meant to do. John B, Kie, and Pope didn't seem to notice that JJ and Blue had stopped, not interested in focusing on anything else besides the saltwater that gave them life in the same way that blood and air did.
"Do you want me to take you home?" JJ asked, his cautious gaze running over the girl's slumped frame.
Blue shook her head before gathering her wet hair and tossing it over her shoulder. "No." She said. "I'm fine here."
She didn't know if that was a lie or not. She wanted it to be the truth, but when her mind was at war with her over rampant thoughts that she couldn't control, how could she be fine anywhere?
JJ sighed before speaking again. "What's on your mind?"
Alien, alien, alien...
"Do you think I'm weird?" She asked before she even allowed herself a second to think about it. Blue avoided his eyes once the words were out in the salty air, gaze locked on the bracelet he gifted her instead, fiddling with the charm as a means to ground her back to earth.
The blond let out a hesitant laugh before answering her random question. "Uh, yeah, you're the weirdest person I know." He joked, "You give Pope a run for his money."
Blue rolled her eyes at his oblivious answer. She wasn't surprised that he would take an opportunity to turn a dull-toned conversation into something comedic. So, she plastered a smile on her face and scoffed. "Gee, thanks, Jayj."
But he could see right through her - he always could. "No, I don't think you're weird." He clarified, his voice now void of humor and carrying a consoling tone. "Why'd you ask? What's going on?" The boy moved his hand through the water, shifting his board to get closer to hers.
"It's stupid." She spoke quietly. Her gaze went up to him, taking note of his concerned expression before looking down at her hands again. "It's just something that Rafe said."
Blue watched as JJ's face instantly hardened. It was one thing for him to know that the Cameron boy had physically assaulted her - that was bad enough - but to learn that he had possibly hurt her in other ways was motive for JJ to spring right back into his protective mode. "What did he say to you?" He asked, expression and tone conveying how serious he was about the topic at hand.
She probably shouldn't have said anything. JJ had already been so amped up, so eager to inflict pain on Rafe and Topper, and her explaining the rest of the story would just add more fuel to an ever-growing fire. "What does it matter?" Blue shrugged, forcing herself to laugh as if what had occurred barely an hour earlier no longer affected her in any way. "Rafe says vile shit all the time. It's really no big deal." She deflected.
JJ wasn't going to let it go, though. "But he said vile shit to you, so yes, it does matter." He said, raising one of his hands so it rested at the front of her surfboard, just a few inches from her thigh. "Tell me." He urged, blue eyes locking with her brown ones as he spoke.
"Fine." Blue mumbled. She knew he would keep pressing until she told him, and not because he simply wanted to know or because he wanted more reasons to hurt Rafe, but only because he knew something was bothering her and that it would continue to bother her until she talked about it. "He called me an alien. You know, like an immigrant or whatever." She avoided his eyes as she repeated the word out loud, the action causing a hitch in her throat.
JJ was silent for a moment. His gaze ran over her once and then twice, causing her to shiver more than the wind did as it traveled over her wet skin. The air had a sudden tension in it, choking her, making her feel like she had said too much. "He's a fucking idiot." The blond finally responded. "He doesn't know what's he talking about." JJ scoffed, shaking his head like the idea of calling Blue such a thing was completely absurd.
She bit her lip, staring at the soft waves near her submerged legs. "He's not wrong, though."
"Yes, he is." He said instantaneously.
Blue huffed, aggravation settling into her bones as she struggled to fully comprehend and verbalize how she was feeling. She honestly didn't expect JJ to understand. His roots ran deep under the sand of Kildare, stretching on for miles, dozens of salt lifers just like him having wreaked havoc for the sake of the Maybank name long before JJ existed. Everyone thought he was handsome and sexy and desirable, while Blue thought that no one could truly perceive her in such a way, not when she was so blatantly different from other girls on the island. He belonged here, people knew that - it wasn't a question for him. But it was a question for her, and she was scared to know the answer.
JJ moved so his face was closer to hers, forcing her to look at him. "Can you tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" He asked.
The words made her want to blush and cry all at the same time. Although she was sure he wouldn't be able to relate to her insecurities, she knew she could confide in him no matter what. He would always be her safe space, her haven, her light in the darkness. If she was going to vent to anyone about her hidden diffidence, it was going to be JJ.
Blue looked over to her right, seeing the rest of the Pogues still surfing, oblivious to the conversation that was happening between her and the blond boy. Once she was sure none of them were going to interrupt anytime soon, she turned back to JJ, reluctantly locking eyes with him as she finally spoke up. "I am weird, Jayj." She started; voice quiet but she knew he could hear her. "I came here from a shipwreck - that's weird. I had literally no documentation of my existence before Big John adopted me - that's weird. And I am the only person on this goddamn island that looks like me." Blue laughed bitterly, contempt for her strange situation leaving a sour taste on her tongue. "That's weird." She whispered her conclusion.
JJ seemed to mull over her words, digesting them and taking them in before finally gearing up for his response. He propped his arm up on her board, leaning his weight on it casually, coming even closer - as close as two people on surfboards could be, anyway. "You know, when I first met John B, he told me he had a younger sister that was adopted." He started. "And when he told me that she had come to the island after surviving a shipwreck, I thought, 'Oh my god, she sounds so badass, I have to meet her!'" JJ smiled, showing off his pearly whites as he shared his eight-year-old self's thoughts. Blue scoffed, shaking her head, but he was quick to continue before she could interrupt with her doubts and dismissals. "And as soon as I met you - pigtails and light-up shoes and all - I thought you were the coolest person ever."
A smile began to pull the corners of Blue's lips up. Her eyes flickered from him to the ocean, bashful in her movements, his flattery working on her like a charm. "Well, those shoes were pretty cool." She mused in a low tone.
"Oh, they were the coolest." JJ agreed, matching her grin with one of his own. "You lit up the whole damn room with those things."
Blue laughed, the sound sweet and captivating, a welcomed replacement from the sad sentiments that had left those same lips just moments ago. "Did you really think that? That I was cool, or whatever?" She asked, needing reassurance that he was happy to provide.
"Yeah, I did." The blond boy said, "Still do."
She let his words wash over her, allowed them to sweep away any remaining self-consciousness she had been drowning in before. Blue already felt ten times lighter just from JJ's sincerity and solace. The blond boy was a mess when it came to providing advice most of the time, but with Blue, he always knew just what to say.
"And as for not looking like anyone else..." JJ trailed off, gaze running over every feature of her face, a notable gleam of admiration swimming in his ocean eyes as he did so. Blue could feel her heart skip a beat inside of her chest. "I like the way that you look, I like that you look like you." He spoke with conviction. "Screw looking like everyone else. You're beautiful, and you should know that."
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful...
The word snuck into her mind, burrowing itself deep into the crevices of her brain, replacing the vile word that had been stuck there before. Blue could feel her face heat up under his intense stare, seeing the truth in his golden features that shook her to her core. She was silent for a moment, taking in his sentiments, letting them gently flow over every flaring nerve and calm her soul. She let his affection give her the peace she had been craving.
She smiled at him before feeling bashful once more, bringing her hands to her face and covering her gooey expression from him. "Thank you." Blue said, the words mumbled by her palms.
"Don't hide from me," JJ laughed, raising the hand that had been resting on her board and using it to pull both of her wrists down. "I just said you're beautiful and now you're covering your pretty face? Come on, you can't do that!"
Uncontrollable giggles left her lips, a cherry rose blush covering her cheeks, her eyes now holding a lightness that hadn't quite been there before. And in that sweet moment of comfort, reassurance, and laughter, Blue had felt the strong urge to tell him that she loved him. Not because she felt strangled by her secret admiration or because she felt like it was the perfect time or anything. No, she wanted to tell him she loved him simply so that he would know. Know how much she appreciated him, know how much he meant to her. She wanted him to know that nothing and no one could ever compare to him, and that he could never be replaced or unwanted - not by her.
And she was so close to letting the life-altering confession escape her heart and be spoken into the air, but of course, an interruption had come just in the nick of time.
"Hey losers!" John B said, dropping in on his board, splashing the seated pair as he came to a stop. "You're missing all the waves!"
Blue quickly submerged her hands before shoving water in John B's face. "Fuck off, Johnny!"
"Hey, watch it, brat!" Her brother shot back, returning her splash with one of his own, causing a full-on water war to break out with JJ becoming collateral in their battle.
"Yo, cut it out!" The blond boy yelled as he somehow came in between the two siblings despite not being a participant in their fight. "Let's just go surf, alright? Will that calm both of you down?!"
Blue rolled her eyes while John B just smiled in what seemed to be a tone of accomplishment. The three of them all paddled out, making their way back to the ever-growing waves, finally letting themselves have a reprieve of all things dangerous and gold oriented. And while everyone else was solely focused on the ocean and their surf, Blue was repeating JJ's words over and over in her head like a tape set on a never-ending loop.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful...
𑁍 𑁍 𑁍
AFTER FINALLY LOSING HERSELF IN THE OCEAN'S EMBRACE FOR WHAT FELT LIKE HOURS, Blue decided to take a much-needed break, dragging herself onto the beach while her friends stayed behind. The sand wasn't too crowded, and anyone lingering about were Pogues like herself, no Kooks or Tourons in sight. The annual Midsummers event was coming up soon, so any elite personas would be too busy picking out the right dress and expensive flower crowns to spend any time relaxing. While Blue looked down upon the exclusive, glorified Kook prom and had no desire to attend such an occasion, she was grateful that it was keeping the beach clear, allowing Pogues to roam freely without a care in the world.
The young girl made her way up to the drink stand that was stationed near the lifeguard post, not bothering to throw on a cover-up or even dry her hair with a towel, too focused on quenching her thirst to make a pit stop. Clad in her lavender bikini, she stepped up to the establishment, leaning against the wooden counter as she smiled at the worker - her friend Olive - on the other side.
"Hey, Olive." Blur greeted with a kind tone. "What's up?" Olive was Blue's classmate and had been working on the beach for two summers now, so she had known the girl fairly well.
Olive stopped what she was doing, moving away from the blender so she could talk to Blue. "Hey, Blue! I saw you killing it out there!" The girl grinned, "You're making Maybank look like an amateur." She joked.
Blue laughed, "I doubt I could ever do that." JJ was the greatest surfer on Kildare, everyone knew it. The best anyone could do would be to match his skill - she doubted anyone could overcome it.
Olive shook her head, showing her disagreement before leaning against the counter. "Whatcha gettin'?" She asked.
"Uh, how about a raspberry lemonade, please?"
"You got it." Olive started to grab an empty cup and took it over to her drink station. "That'll be three bucks, babe."
Blue nodded but then her eyes quickly widened once she realized she had forgotten her wallet back on the sand where the Pogues were keeping their stuff. She groaned, throwing her head back in annoyance at her own stupidity. "Shit, I don't have my money. Let me go grab it real quick-"
Before she could finish her sentence, someone came up to her side, handing Olive a five-dollar bill. "Here, I got it." Blue looked over to see Kalen Adler standing next to her, and her breath immediately caught in her throat. He was wearing a lifeguard uniform, which only consisted of board shorts and a whistle that hung down to his muscular chest. He grinned with a sense of charm that was sure to reel in many wandering eyes. "Keep the change."
Olive grabbed the money with a grateful smile, shooting the boy a quick 'thanks' over her shoulder before going to make Blue's drink. All the while, the Routledge girl was staring at him in a surprised manner, caught off guard by his presence.
She hadn't seen him since the Boneyard, when their conversation had gotten cut short by the infamous fight between John B and Topper. Blue recalled how kind he was, how careful he was with his words, how he seemed to have something he wanted to say to her. And in all honestly, Blue had wanted to talk to him, too. She wanted to apologize and clarify herself, make sure he knew that she never wanted to hurt him if that was what she had done. She wanted to lay that part of her past to rest.
"You didn't have to do that." Blue said to him, smiling warmly as she spoke. "But thank you."
"Of course." Kalen laughed lightly, "My job is to rescue those in need. You seemed to be in need." His joke caused her to playfully roll her eyes in response. It was quiet for a moment, and when Blue turned her head to look out at her friends in the ocean, Kalen spoke up once more. "Oh, what happened?" He asked, motioning to the mark on her cheek.
Blue was confused at first, then quickly remembered the injury. After her talk with JJ, everything that had went down earlier in the day no longer plagued her mind, and she had forgotten about the wound altogether. "Oh, um, that's from a beer can." Blue waved it off, spinning her lie once more. "Just what happens when most of your friends are boys."
Kalen laughed, shaking his head at her remark. Before he could respond, Olive set down Blue's drink, sliding it to her on the wooden counter after popping a straw into the cup. "There ya go, love." Olive smiled.
"Thanks, Liv." Blue returned the gesture as she grabbed her lemonade. Olive went back to work, and the realization that her and Kalen were now alone struck her, making her feel nervous. The pair locked eyes, the air around them tense and unsure.
Blue knew she had to talk about everything between them at some point - why not now?
"Um," She mumbled before getting her thoughts together. "How are you? I didn't get to ask at the Boneyard."
"Yeah, well, you had a lot going on." He shrugged, making them both laugh quietly. "And I'm good. How's John B, by the way? That looked pretty rough."
Blue nodded, recalling her brother nearly drowning by force, the memory flaring an anger inside of her that never seemed to truly go away. "Yeah, he's fine. Got a shiner and some brain cells knocked loose, but he's alright."
"So, the usual." Kalen joked, making Blue giggle once more.
"Yeah, the usual." She said, the words slightly murmured.
Quiet again. Blue tried to think of what to say, how to say it, but kept coming up short. The situation was strange and somewhat delicate, and she had never had to deal with anything like it before. In an effort to distract herself for a moment, she looked back to the ocean, eyes immediately finding JJ. She was surprised to see that despite the sand and water between them, he was already looking at her. Blue couldn't decipher his expression from so far away, but she smiled in his direction anyway before turning back to Kalen.
"So..." She spoke, trailing off the short word. "I wanted to talk to you about...you know...everything." Her words were awkward and obviously not well rehearsed, but that was the best she could do at that moment, especially after the kind of day she had. Memories of her and Kalen staying up all hours of the night flashed in her mind, pictures of them either smoking or drinking or doing other things came across in quick succession, but there were also recollections of them just talking. While their talks were never really deep or emotional, they used to be able to converse with ease, but now it was a struggle to even get a word out.
Kalen's eyes widened for a quick second before he nodded in understanding. "Okay, um, do you wanna talk over there?" He pointed to his lifeguard post just a few feet away. "We can let Olive go back to work instead of eavesdropping on us." He teased, motioning to the girl behind the counter, who was clearly invested in their conversation as she leaned over the cash register to hear better.
"Whatever," Olive laughed, standing up and moving away from the pair. "Go save some lives instead of flirting with Blue, how about that?"
Blue rolled her eyes at the girl, "Bye, Olive!" She called out before walking away with her drink in hand, Kalen following her as they went over to the lifeguard station.
The pair stood on the warm sand, shoulders leaning against the wooden post as they faced each other, the summer sun beaming on them relentlessly. The lack of people on the beach made Blue feel more comfortable and seeing that her friends were too preoccupied with surfing to notice what was going on further encouraged her to speak what was on her mind.
"I, uh, wanted to say sorry," She started. "For how I ended things. I should have been clearer, or nicer, or just not as shitty." She laughed in a nervous tone, feeling vulnerable when speaking about the state of mind she was in at the time of her and Kalen's fallout.
"You don't have to apologize. You had a lot going on, I know it was rough on you." Kalen responded with grace and kindness, like he always did.
While Blue appreciated his tolerance and his understanding of her struggles, she also knew that they were not excuses for her behavior or for her treatment of him, so she continued. "But I shouldn't have cut you off like I did. Ghosted you, and everything. That wasn't fair." She bit her lip, teeth slightly gnawing at the pink skin before speaking again. "You were there for me and I really appreciate that. I just realized that I needed to heal in a different way. I should have told you that instead of just not speaking to you for months."
Kalen nodded, seemingly taking in her words for a moment, allowing another bout of silence to rest between them. After he took the time to digest her sentiments, he responded. "I appreciate you saying that, Blue." He spoke. "But really, it's all good. I just want you to know that I'm always here if you need someone to talk to or anything. Doesn't have to just be...hook ups or anything." The boy laughed, the sound holding a timid tone, causing Blue to do the same. "We can be friends, right?"
The girl looked at him, taking note of his kind smile, knowing that he meant well. "Yeah, we can be friends."
The pair smiled at each other, glad that they were no longer in a confusing, unknown state. Blue could feel a weight being lifted off her shoulders just from having that conversation with him.
But then she felt a new weight on her shoulders, and it wasn't metaphorical or a turn of phase - it was JJ's arm suddenly swinging to rest on her frame.
Blue gasped at the sudden contact and looked up, seeing the blond boy now standing next to her, already looking at her with a playful smile. His skin was still wet from surfing and his hair was dripping water down to his abs, making him look like a Greek god. His silver rings caught the sunlight and sent a golden reflection back into the air, his shark tooth necklace delicately touching his tan chest. If Kalen hadn't been there, she probably would have swooned.
"Jayj, where'd you come from?" She laughed off her shock at his sudden appearance.
He shrugged; his arm still wrapped around her. "You were taking too long. I wanted to see what was keeping you away." With that being said, JJ turned to Kalen, who was looking at them with a bit of an awkward smile.
"Um," Blue stammered, looking between Kalen and JJ, feeling an overwhelming sense of unease and tension. The boy she loved was on one side of her while a boy she used to hook up with was on the other. Talk about awkward. "JJ, this is Kalen-"
"Oh, so this is Kalen!" JJ exclaimed enthusiastically, catching Blue off guard. The blond reached his free hand out to the Adler boy. "Nice to meet you, man." Kalen returned the gesture and the two shook hands, a seemingly nice motion, but one that still confused Blue to no end.
Kalen nodded, "Yeah, nice to meet you, too."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt y'all's conversation, I just wanted to check on my girl, y'know?" JJ spoke with nonchalance, but Blue could tell he was subtly trying to push Kalen's buttons - well, as subtle as JJ could be, which wasn't a lot. The only question was 'why?'. She couldn't figure it out.
"All good, man." Kalen waved him off. He seemed to be just as confused as Blue was.
JJ continued to smile, and then his eyes caught the drink in Blue's hand, and a sense of mischief presented itself on his features. "Aw, you got my favorite." He said before leaning down, taking the straw in his mouth while the cup was still in her hand. His hold on her frame was still evident as he took a sip and then came back up once he was done. "Thanks, Bluey." He winked at her.
While heat began to crawl up her face, she responded as calmly as she could. "You're welcome?"
Kalen let out an uneasy laugh before turning to Blue, causing her to meet his eyes once again. "I'll leave y'all too it, I gotta get back to work." He said to her, motioning to the lifeguard post behind them, fiddling with the whistle that hung on his neck. "It was nice talking to you, Blue."
"Yeah, you too." She mumbled as he walked away.
Well, that was weird.
Blue took a moment to process the strange interaction that had just occurred before throwing JJ's arm off her shoulder, moving to stand in front of him. "Are you high or something?" She asked, looking to see if his eyes were pink from an inebriated haze.
"No," JJ laughed, "Why do you ask?"
Blue only rolled her eyes in response, stepping away and moving further down the beach, knowing JJ would follow. "Were you trying to scare him away?" She asked, her voice carrying over her shoulder. She wouldn't have been surprised if that was his motive - he had played that game many times before.
"Nah, I just wanted to meet your secret boy toy." The blond teased before moving to stand next to her.
The title caused the girl to groan out loud. "Ew, don't call him that! He's not my secret boy toy," She mocked his words with a funny tone. "He's my friend."
JJ hummed before replying. "You're friends?"
"Yeah, is that a problem?"
She knew that JJ didn't like that she had kept Kalen a secret from him, but she thought that they had resolved that issue. She didn't understand why he seemed to have a problem now, after they had seemingly cleared everything up and moved on. It wasn't like Kalen had done something to JJ, anyway - the two hadn't even spoken to each other until just moments ago. Why JJ would have a problem with Kalen was beyond Blue's understanding.
The blond didn't respond, and when she noticed that he wasn't going to, she stopped in her tracks - knowing JJ would do the same. She stepped up so they were facing one another before speaking. "What's wrong?" She asked in a straightforward tone.
"Nothin'." He shrugged.
Blue groaned again. "You're lying!"
"I'm not doing anything!" JJ shouted back.
"You're doing something!"
The blond cocked his head at her. "Oh yeah, what's that?"
"I don't know, that's why I'm asking you!" Blue exclaimed, hands flying up in frustration.
"Why are we yelling at each other?!" JJ shot back.
The question seemed to bring the both of them some clarity, realizing that they had no idea what they were talking about or why they were doing it so loudly. The two had never really had a problem with miscommunication, so it was clear they didn't know how to grasp such an issue. They were always honest with each other - well, despite Blue harboring a secret crush, but that was neither here nor there - so to have a conversation where one was holding something back was wholly unusual.
JJ stepped forward, placing his warm hands on her upper arms, making her look back up at him. "I'm sorry, Blue." He huffed. "I don't wanna argue with you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, that's all."
She couldn't help the corner of her mouth from slightly perking up. "You know, you don't always have to come to my rescue. I was perfectly fine, I promise." She playfully shoved his shoulder back, glad that things hadn't escalated and that they were back to their normal selves.
"I like rescuing you." JJ pouted defiantly, like a child whose toy was taken away from him.
That made Blue laugh - not an awkward one, not a nervous one - a real, humorous laugh. "Okay, Prince Charming." She teased. "You can rescue me from Rafe or Topper all you like, but you don't have to worry about Kalen, okay?"
JJ hesitated before nodding. "Okay, okay, I get it." Then he smiled once again, dropping his hand so it was tangled with hers. "Wanna race back to the water?" He asked, gleaming with a sense of playfulness, eager to put the conversation to rest.
"Okay, but I'll win." Blue guaranteed with a cocky smirk.
"Uh, no you won't." Unexpectedly, JJ surged forward, quickly placing his lips on her uninjured cheek in a fast kiss before running off. "You snooze, you lose, Blue!" He called back from the growing distance between them.
Blue stood there in a shocked state, hand creeping up to touch where his lips had just been while watching him bolt towards the ocean. The cheek-kiss caught her off guard, letting him have an advantage in their race. "Hey, no fair!" She shouted once she got her bearings, quickly sprinting in the direction he had gone, still fighting for her chance to win.
JJ had gotten to the shore first, of course, and had been waiting for Blue as she ran at a fast pace. Once she had finally gotten to him, he threw his arms around her, tackling her into the water without warning. Blue quickly got her revenge, though, and shoved him under the waves, engaging in another water war that was sure to go on for who knows how long.
As the two messed around, Blue couldn't help but to think about everything that had just happened. JJ's weird behavior towards Kalen and the unusual kiss to her cheek. She didn't have an answer to any of it - just one question that kept swirling around in her head.
What the hell was that?
𝗼𝗺𝗴 𝗵𝗶
𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝘁 𝗹𝗺𝗮𝗼𝗼𝗼
𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘂 𝗴𝘂𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗼𝗳 𝗸𝗮𝗹𝗲𝗻? 𝗱𝗼 𝘂 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗹𝘂𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗼𝗿 𝗻𝗼?
𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗰𝗲𝗻𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗯𝗹𝘂𝗲 & 𝗷𝗷 ...? 𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲...
𝘄𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗰𝘀 𝗿𝘂𝗻𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝗰𝗲𝗻𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗽 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 👀 𝗶'𝗺 𝘀𝗼 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗱
𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀
𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲
𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝘄𝗼 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀:
𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆 𝗯𝘆𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘂